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Seeking to get a hold; purposeful motion or stillness?

Day One: April 4th.

The thought has been more frequent and better defined, with there being less willingness and ability to defy it: I’m alone and lonely in large part due to being self-absorbed and tuned out.    Is it possible to crater myself? As in— character, persona, seek out and practice traits, attitudes? I think so. I have doubts about my ability to sustain anything meaningful, too afraid to fail. Comfortable in this muck, this existence of anxiety and anger.  I’d like to see more of: genuine in
Revelation

Revelation in What does this even mean?

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DELUSIONAL

HOPE

Today I'm still waiting. WAITING HOPING REMINISCING  HURTING DELUSIONAL Yes, I am thinking being delusional again. Life isn't fair at all but need to move on. Step front not backwards, up and downs that's life works.  Coping Mechanism, currently I have . I still can't accept the fact cause it's too sudden. Still waiting and loyal. Sharing this here lessen atleast the worries I had . I wanna let you know all that he will be the one I have in my heart , cros
Hare08

Hare08 in BESTOWN UPON

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DELUSIONAL

A TEST

He knows I'm a LOYAL, He knows I'm a VULNERABLE, He knows my PERSONALITY, He knows I LOVE him , so much that can't compare to anything. He always asking me how much I love him.  He is my UNIVERSE. My love for him is INFINITY, I Had this feeling that maybe he is testing me how long I can hold it without him communication.  
Hare08

Hare08 in BESTOWN UPON

12
Solo In Texas says it all...

20 Year Waste of Time?

Well, as the description says, it's been 20 years since I divorced the now-2nd-ex-wife.  It was all pretty good in the beginning, but then 09/11 happened and the tech bubble burst.  People lost good paying jobs and had to find what they could in terms of work.  I was one such individual.  I did manage to stay in the tech industry, although it was pretty much a "start over from scratch" situation.  The ex could not handle it and, rather than talk about it, began looking for my replacement (unbekn
SoloInTexas

SoloInTexas in Journal

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God Jones III

Bamboozled By Satan

Satan bamboozled my Psychiatrist by making him prescribe me schedule 3 drugs which not my State or Country recognized as being abused just the poor, poor wife of an abusive spouse.  He is so abusive that wants to save the world including his wife.  Well, not the children we produce or have produced.  No wife apparently until it is really no wife.  More direct: "Does wife love you?"  I couldn't give an answer.  The answer-problem is easy to speak to in diagnostic ways. In the moment the obvious w
SydkneeQuncle

SydkneeQuncle in Love isn't wrong, it's just benedictive

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seeyoung87's Journal

Sex

I'm not a perv, but I landed on that simple yet scintillating title because what better word draws attention.  Some people see the word sex and they just have to look. I told my best friend of twenty-four years last night.  The reason I recently broke up with a man I had been dating for eight months.  A man that all my family, friend, and close associates think is so great.  Someone who many have told me I'm going to regret losing.  Maybe I will.    It wasn't easy to break up with him, but
seeyoung87

seeyoung87 in Sex

2
Roscilla

Happy

I go to bed  and wake up at peace. I'm at peace. I love where I am in life. I've left everyone and everything behind. I have a pending case in Galveston County. I hope I can get it taken off. It's public record.  I also need to find a part time job, something that pays cash, good cash, lol! Cuz I need money I don't care about lying, everyone lies, it's who you that matters. I don't like people who judge and make people feel bad for their insecurities. I have nothing bad to say about you. Nothing
ms.stressed

ms.stressed in Peace

1
Brokenhearted Me

October 2020

10.15.20 If I ask why Would you just say goodbye? 10.18.20 I was so afraid I thought I'll just get hurt But you lured me out And encouraged me to trust you Maybe I shouldn't have Because it's turning out I may be right after all Why did you have to do it though If you will just hurt me like this? You made me fall in love with you But can I blame you now for this hurt I'm feeling? Shouldn't have I known better Than to believe you? 10.26.20 I ho
RJ09

RJ09 in Breakup

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Brokenhearted Me

09.30.20

You get too happy You get too hurt too The hurt is proportional to the happiness you felt But happiness is fleeting And the pain seems to stay forever
RJ09

RJ09 in Breakup

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Roscilla

...

I want to leave. Like disappear. Get away from it all and just vanish. I don't think anyone understands what it means to not want to be seen or found. To literally get lost.  Y'all I have so much life in me...so much to offer and give to this world...My soul, my body is all emotion...I just let my emotions flow. I fill them and I speak them. I teach, so to go through life and see an injustice or something wrong and not act or speak on it, does something to me. It makes me a hypocrite, becau
ms.stressed

ms.stressed

0
Why am I stupid not to see the real him...

Why am I stupid not to see the real him....

My journey started 11 years ago.  During that time, I was already in my late 30's and feeling all alone. I just wanted a companion, someone to talk to and pass the time.  I entered several yahoo chat rooms until I finally landed on the Boston chatroom. That is where I met Sam.  We said hi and started talking.  Maybe we clicked immediately cause we started talking for hours and hours in the days that followed. He lived in the US and I lived in the  Middle East. We would chat his afternoons and my
Cindylicious

Cindylicious in Why am I stupid not to see the real him....

2
LostInTheWild's Journal

Locked Thread

The thread I normally posted in is locked to new replies. Maybe that's for the best. It was a bittersweet journey through my mid and late twenties, even my early thirties. What a help this website has been to my life and this wonderful community, friends I've made that are lifelong and friends I keep in touch with here and there...it's all so magical. I feel like I can't get into character, however, the character I used in that thread. The person lost and stumbling through the forest. The person
LostInTheWild

LostInTheWild

0
Moving on Journey

First Steps and Apologies

Hi, I will be using this journal to document my processes of moving on from the guy I can't have (for anyone reading, please refer to my recent post). Yesterday I stumbled across his ig profile which I shouldn't have, I regret it. I see that he changed her initials from two letter to her full name in caps with a white emoji heart next to it. Things like this start to make the fact that I will never have him so real. I can't be upset over him anymore, I'm sick of not being able to get o
xoxobby_25

xoxobby_25

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Shanex's Journal

Almost five years here now...

I wanna talk about me (Toby Keith). When I registered on this forum, nearly five years ago, I was pretty much in a odd situation. For personal reasons I had gotten rid of any social medias and threw away some « friends » (actual phonies) in the process From 2012 to 2015, I was pretty much single for three long years. Quite a dry spell for a late 20s/early 30s dude. Why? I haven’t figured it out yet but c’est la vie. A few dates here and there, uninspiring and uninteresting. Then fro
Shanex

Shanex

2
Roscilla

I Don't Know

I decided to quit social media. A part of it has to do with my rape, and another part of it has to do with mess. There is a man, who has been trying to talk to me for the longest, even thought he has a girlfriend. It bothers me. It bothers me because I'm being put in mess that has nothing to do with me. My ex did the same thing. People just put me in their mess. I decided that for the sake of my mental and emotional well-being, it was probably best if I stayed away.    I miss the days
ms.stressed

ms.stressed

2
Sweetfish's Journal

What do you people mean when they say 'You're too nice'?

Too nice means your easily molded by other people. This means you don't have character and your surroundings dictate your character. If someone needs help you will always say yes or show almost a flawless character.   People like individuals with a blend of character traits and unpredictablity. Instead of investing in your own character, you may seek to please others needs and hide your character flaws to perceive others as perfect and no ones is pure and holsum.   Most celebrities are loved f
Sweetfish

Sweetfish

4
Shanex's Journal

12 Dating Tips That Will Transform Your Love Life

12 Dating Tips That Will Transform Your Love Life   GO BEYOND THE BAR SCENE   Sure, you might meet the love of your life while sipping gin and tonics, but wouldn't it be so much cooler to say you met at a mud run? You never know where you're going to meet the next person you date, so if you're only looking in one spot (like that bar where you're a regular) then you're missing out on tons of possible partners. We know plenty of couples who have met while standing in line at the grocery store, a
Shanex

Shanex

2
Satu's Journal

How to work with Anxiety.

'Anxiety' is another name for fear.   More exactly, it's repressed fear try to push itself into your conscious mind, from its origin point in the subconscious.   Rather than trying to push the fear away, its useful to identify and name your fears.     "If we answer the question - what is the anxiety trying to tell me - we begin to address the cause. This may mean some change in the way you life your life, but this change does not necessarily mean that you become less competent, or less valued
Satu

Satu

1
Grateful

Presents

I was given a present when I woke this morning. Just like that, it dawned on me that I cannot long for something that never existed. You were not what you portrayed. Ever. Ever. Ever. Somehow this really helps me!!
Ittakestwo

Ittakestwo

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