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It's the second time in two months I've seen her car, and I've reacted badly each time. I made some mistakes in the relationship but I know I'm more than enough...yet it still feels like yet another relationship that fell apart, and at 53 I don't know if I'm ever going to meet someone who gives me the excitement without the toxicity...
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I don't actually know if she's seeing someone - my brain just put two and two together and came up with 36 when I saw her car. She's spent weekends in London with her girls before, so it may have been that. Who knows? I know - I'm finding it hard to equate a safe, loving relationship with excitement to be honest. I had a couple of brief relationships before her, and before that I was with my ex wife for 16 years...in a marriage that dwindled and died a slow death over a period of years. So meeting my ex was unbelievably exciting, but ultimately incredibly stressful.
- Today
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Is it that every time she hugs you or touches you it leads to intimacy? Can she give you a hug or hold your hand without you going for sex? That may be the problem, but if it isn't, then it seems to me that you have to initiate everything including holding hands, hugs, massages that don't lead to sex, massages that do lead to sex etc. That doesn't seem like a reason to end a marriage to me, but if it does to you, then bite the bullet and leave.
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I find it absolutely bizarre and invasive that this is even a thing with some couples now. Anyway, your call. Do you also believe she is over him? Or do you think she may still have feelings for him?
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We've connected but haven't met officially
ExpatInItaly replied to xvccm's topic in Long-Distance Relationships
Why bother with this, OP? You don't know this person. You don't owe her anything, just as she does not owe you anything. She is free to meet other guys if she chooses. Since you already view her through such a lens of suspicion, I suggest you don't proceed here. Stick to dating local women instead. -
Seeing her car parked at the station probably felt like a punch to the gut because it’s a tangible reminder of her presence in your life—or at least in your town. Even though you’ve been apart for six months, your brain is still wired to associate her with strong emotions (good and bad). It’s like your mind goes, “Oh crap, she’s back in the vicinity, and now I have to deal with all these feelings again.” It’s not about the car itself; it’s about what it represents: her, the relationship, and all the unresolved stuff you’re still processing. Your brain is also probably spinning out with qu
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Why are you so sure it’s going to work between them? They might break up within a couple of years or stay together and be miserable, for all you know. This will most certainly happen if she doesn’t change. Then you should keep looking for a woman with whom you’ll have an even more exciting relationship that isn’t toxic. You and I are about the same age. I’m now in the most exciting relationship I’ve ever been in, by far and away, with a woman who is the very opposite of toxic or controlling. It took me a lot of breakups, divorces, heartbreaks, and all sorts of craziness and
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I know you don’t see it this way now, but you should be very glad that his wife discovered the affair. Otherwise you would’ve wasted more years of your life on that creep. You’ve learned several hard, but valuable lessons here. You now know that saying “I love you” means absolutely nothing until proven with actions. You realize now that a married man who truly falls in love with another woman separates from his wife and divorces her as soon as he can. If he just prolongs the affair, it means he is using the affair partner for sex or some other selfish validation. Such people want to have
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Have you done any counselling Carly? There is grief with the end of every relationship. Time helps and you may want to consider counselling if you find that you are having difficulty moving forward. If it brings any comfort, yours is one of many stories in this board… it’s very common for the man to return home to his family following discovery. I’m sure that it doesn’t feel this way right now, but you don’t really want this man… There are much better men out there who are loyal, honest, and trustworthy. When you are ready, you will find the man who is meant to be your partner -
- Yesterday
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Ahhhh.. these situations always end up in heartbreak! he’s a gutless creep and you can’t see it yet but in time you will see him for who he is and be thankful for the lucky escape. you just need time .. to go through it and come out the other side. You get through it step by step one day at a time - It’s rough I know but you will get there. think about it as soon as she found out he threw you under the bus, so what does that say about him? good luck and hugs 🤗
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We've connected but haven't met officially
ShyViolet replied to xvccm's topic in Long-Distance Relationships
What is the point of chatting with someone who lives a few hours away from you? I don't understand why so many people keep posting about situations like this. So let's say you did meet in person and like each other, and wanted to date. You would need to travel hours every time you see each other? That is absolutely ridiculous. Endless texting and phone calls is not a relationship. Dating is an in-person, real life activity. Yes you are absolutely wasting your time with this. Meet people in your local area and don't endlessly text with them before meeting in person. -
I am 32 years old, I had an affair with a married man. We saw each other almost everyday for a year and a half. We had sex frequently, multiple times a month. The days we did it was more than once. Our feelings grew for each other, he talked about how depressed he was in his marriage and how he wanted me, how he loved me. We talked about our future together. I supported him and I loved him so much. His wife found out about the affair 6 months ago. He ran back to her, blaming it all on me. I’m still not over it. I feel so sad sometimes. I think about him everyday. I constantly check social medi
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This Relationship Is Driving Me Crazy, Should I Walk Away?
BulletDodged replied to BulletDodged's topic in Breaks and Breaking Up
Thanks I will not contact her, or care what she thinks. She can think the worse of me if she wants.. we are no longer together, so it doesn't matter either way -
This Relationship Is Driving Me Crazy, Should I Walk Away?
BulletDodged replied to BulletDodged's topic in Breaks and Breaking Up
Yeh I won't do it. Plus it will give her a reason to open up an argument again -
This Relationship Is Driving Me Crazy, Should I Walk Away?
basil67 replied to BulletDodged's topic in Breaks and Breaking Up
Of course not! Even if you were the dumper and were back on dating apps the very next day, you still owe her nothing -
Thank you...it's that feeling of the first month I can't get past, and why it's yet another relationship that's fallen by the wayside. I've never been in a relationship that was so controlling, so toxic and ultimately so wrong...but it's by far and away the most exciting relationship I've ever been in. It all feels a bit of a mess...
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This Relationship Is Driving Me Crazy, Should I Walk Away?
S2B replied to BulletDodged's topic in Breaks and Breaking Up
Don’t ever message her. It’s over! You need to not care at all how she thinks of you. -
Do some counseling to help yourself. you obviously haven’t yet acknowledged why she isn’t a good match and still stuck on who you think she may be. dive into all the reason she wasn’t a good match for you. Remind yourself every day… until you no longer fantasize about who you thought she was.
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This Relationship Is Driving Me Crazy, Should I Walk Away?
ExpatInItaly replied to BulletDodged's topic in Breaks and Breaking Up
Nope, you don't owe her anything. Don't bother explaining yourself to someone who is probably already messaging with her new Bumble matches. -
It took me almost four years to find a partner. Sure, I could've found someone a lot sooner but I didn't want to settle for someone subpar. It takes time and tons and tons of effort to find a partner. You have to be more proactive and get involved in activities and things around you. Don't sit and wait for someone to just come into your life. You are getting first dates, or so it seems. Some men can't even get a single date so you are way ahead of them. You need to figure out how to turn a first date into a second date and a third date. But keep going, you are on a right track.
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This is very low interest on his part. I believe, if he was THAT interested he would chat more often with you and make some plans for the two of you to meet. I don't see how he is manipulating you. More likely he wants to have a friendly face if he ever decides to live in your country. Probably needs a tour-guide and that's where you would come in, lol. At the very worst, he is a time-waster to you. Do you have a good profile on a reputable dating sites? Why don't you date local men and put this guy on a back-burner? You don't have to block him or do anything drastic but try dating local men
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was she just making converstion?
ikonik replied to ikonik's topic in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy
also, for more context i suggested she join us for a group run a while back, but later on i also asked if she was doing a particutlar race, she said maybe i'll join you. mind you this was a half marathon so it was a big commitment. she did join and she also suggested i commute with her group, since they had an open seat. so she got my info and the next time i went with them which was the first car situation i wrote about. since then she's always liking my IG stories and texting me the night before to coordinate, idk this may just be friendly stuff but what do you make of it? -
This Relationship Is Driving Me Crazy, Should I Walk Away?
BulletDodged replied to BulletDodged's topic in Breaks and Breaking Up
Yeh but should I Break no contact to tell her what happened? Remember she was the one who ended the relationship with me. Do I owe her that? Do I owe her explanations after she ended the relationship, and is on dating apps now looking for a new man. -
Hi foks, I'm currently struggling to move on from my ex who I split up from 6 months ago (see previous thread here) It was a toxic relationship...it started amazingly well, she was everything I'd ever dreamed of to begin with...but it went south quickly. I found her controlling and she questioned all my female friend relationships (even asking on a few occasions if I'd slept with my cousin, who I'm very close to. But not THAT close 😳)...and my anxiety levels went through the roof. She ended things citing incidents that occurred before we'd even met, which was petty...but I fe
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How old are you? Are you on the autism spectrum?