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Wow. I would not stay married to someone who thinks that everything up to penetration isn't crossing a line. Get rid of her and find a quality woman. She ain't it.

You are already poised for suspicion, so it doesn't mater what we say or she says--you're going to torture yourself regardless. Good luck with that.

She sounds pretty fast 'n loose with your marriage vows. What was your response when she said this?

As long as you keep feeling replaceable, you are going to get replaced.

Why haven't the two of you seen each other for six weeks? Is this a one-off, or do you have limited time together in general? I ask because it doesn't sound sustainable long term and I think it's worth making this part of the equation

Do you accept that? Are you okay with her passionately kissing and erotically touching other men? Mutually masturbating with other men? Giving handjobs to other men? Dry-jumping other men? Receiving oral sex from other men? If the answer to these is “no” (like mine would be), then she has been cheating on you and doesn’t seem to regret it. You appear to have incompatible values and views about monogamous relationships.

What comment, exactly? Did he suggest to her to go topless sunbathing together?

Just to add to this, I don’t think that needing to check the partner’s phone to alleviate suspicions is a good thing. She is entitled to her privacy and she didn’t have to show the phone to prove her innocence. She was just being extra nice and comforting.

Suspicious of what - of your GF cheating on you? Depending on how well she lies, you’d get anything between very clear signs to no signs at all. Plenty of people have been cheated on and never saw it coming. You can’t control those things.

If something was going on she would have never ever handed you her phone. She would keep it face down at all time, you would not be able to borrow it for a call or just check the internet. She would delete her text with him. She would bring her phone with her to the washroom, or every room she goes. I know, l was cheated on. Those are the flags.

OP said these things are said in private conversations

Her definition of where to draw the line would not be acceptable to me in a relationship partner/spouse. In life, you get what you are willing to accept.

So a bit of a different take, but could explain the issue. If I recall OP, you’re not attracted to the vast majority of men out there, so the men that you actually do engage with are a tiny percentage of men out there. I suspect you’re only attracted to very attractive men with a ton of options. And so they’re treating you as just an option. I also suspect you struggle with self worth so part of you believes that if one of these attractive men with tons of options does finally “pick” you, it will mean you’re worthy of being loved. But since it’s never happened, you don’t feel worthy

Thankyou much appreciated, will do.

Dude, there is a classic song about the encounter you had with your ex. It's called "What's New?" And there are dozens of versions out there. I highly recommend the Sinatra version from the album "Only the Lonely." There is a fantastic Linda Ronstadt version as well. You are not back to square one. It's just that yes, this woman still has a place in your heart. That's fine. Don't pursue her and your heart will quiet down. To draw an analogy, a friend of mine learned that her college bf had died. She hadn't seen the guy in 40 years, and she didn't think the news was all that important to

If penetration is to her crossing the line, then passionate kissing and simulated lovemaking keeping their clothes on is acceptable. I feel sorry for you my friend.

So I ended up in the same place as my ex girlfriend today, first time I saw her since we broke up 3 years ago, have been in no contact throughout. This has never happened to me before, I know for definite that I don't want her back but it's been bothering me all day. I initiated conversation with her, was happy, pleasant and held good eye contact and wasn't needy. We had a brief conversation about how our kids have been and went on our ways. Over time I got to the point where I just didn't think about her anymore but now I feel like I'm back to square one. Not really aski

If she does it to the extent that it makes you uncomfortable, or makes you feel invisible, or makes you feel that you can't trust her, it's a problem. Obviously you've already made it clear to her that you don't like it, but if it's part of her personality there's not a lot you can do. You can change behaviour but you can't change personality. Has she always been like this, and does she fawn over women as well or just men? If she fawns over everyone, male and female, it's just her, like a dog that gets over-excited whenever it sees a another dog, and it's probably nothing to worry about, but i

This does not seem like a marriage that is destined to last.

Everyone has this problem. The ones who value themselves will hold out and only date for an actual relationship. Those are the ones who eventually strike gold and enjoy those relationships. Those who devalue themselves and settle for no strings sex end up getting nothing better than that. What you 'meant' doesn't translate to into anything better. If you settle for no-strings then try to pretend your way into an actual relationship, you just fool yourself. Everyone gets the sexual offers, they just don't bother with them. Just say, "No, thank you." Boom. Done. Move forward.

She says it wouldn't be a big deal

Ok we've been talking all day about this. For her the line is penetration. She has never been penetrated by anyone else since we got married Close hugs, touching arms and legs

I'm probably going to be the odd one out here, but IMO if he's just complimenting her on social media, that's not necessarily an issue. It obviously depends on context: "Looking good!" vs "Man you look so hot I wanna *** you in the ****". Just to be clear, the former I'd consider normal, the latter not.... I'm more concerned that you two haven't seen each other for 6 weeks. Why is that?

The fact that you can't confidently assert that you wife hasn't had sex with anyone else is concerning. And this is concerning as well. Don't accept that answer. Tell her to explain clearly what her "line" is. Can you give an example of how she touches them or what her flirty behaviour consists of?

Real sad attitude towards dating. You get what you give out.