Jump to content

All Activity

This stream auto-updates

  1. Past hour
  2. Hug her, express your sorrow. Do NOT try to fix her. Do NOT try to find anything positive. Just hug and reassure her. Warmth and reassurance gives her the strength to think clearly and get help and to heal herself. "I'm so sorry that happened to you." Hug. Repeat. When we affirm people as they recount a painful episode or trauma, we actually help them a lot without trying to fix them. You affirm that this episode was painful and difficult and she's not crazy or defective for having been victimized like this. People often have all kinds of embarrassment and shame after being assaul
  3. Today
  4. Me and this girl started speaking accidentally online. Found out she lives across the world from me. Still we chatted away and fell for each other. Due to an argument we had because I said she began responding with disinterest (one word reply etc) she removed me from her friend list immediately. I added her back and i set things straight. We communicated and understood where it went wrong. We also agreed we’d be hurt at some point because we should find someone we can be with physically. She said we should stop talking because that’s gonna happen. I said no because i love her so we kept speaki
  5. Yeah maybe it was never going to work. I felt a bit confused as the night beofre the first date, I hadn’t heard from him for 3 days. I was a bit confused as the lead up to that he had been very keen. He had asked me out to hang in a city half way between mine and his so like 45 mins away. At midnight he still hadn’t confirmed the lunchtime plans he had mentioned the day beofre so at midnight I texted him ‘hey, sorry it’s late but I wasn’t sure if we were still meeting tomorrow. Let me know!’ He replied ‘hey sorry been out and about with friends. Absolutely, I will meet you at the
  6. BaileyB

    Perspective

    You really are your own worst enemy. Self sabotaging. Doom and gloom. All the time.
  7. That's good, it seems like you still have a bit more to do. You're just over analysing every little thing now. I feel like when someone leaves you confused it's usually because they're only half-interested and maybe enjoy your time and attention 50% of the time and the other half they're not that bothered, whether that's because of seeing other people, committment issues, not over an ex etc. Unfortunately for a relationship its not likely to work and if someone starts off like this its unlikely to get better. Any relationship or close-to-relationship I've had the girl has been quite
  8. ZA Dater

    Perspective

    Not really in the sense there is good communication, there is a feeling here but I need to tell myself I can rather than tell myself I can't. Again I just load the pressure on myself.
  9. ZA Dater

    Perspective

    I think it's better done in person, if I am going to get rejected I may as well have it in person. What's struck me about this interaction is she is interested in me and seemingly getting to know me.
  10. Well I pulled away, I felt confused as it was very subtle I wasn’t sure if he was aware he was doing it, it just seemed playful. But it did make me feel confused
  11. Touching your bum, giving you a hug and tickling you is just a man enjoying touching a woman. If he's barely contacting you and dialed it back to friends, it's inappropriate for him to touch your bum, why did you let him? People talk about their long term goals, whether or not they want kids and family with their friends and family, it's conversation and isn't an indicator or romantic interest. Same with a hug. You're kind of grasping at straws.
  12. And then 25 next week. LOL
  13. My confidence has come on. I like how I must give off positive vibes as every time I go to the supermarket, random people come and chat to me. That’s a positive step. I am confident but this is just my inner ramblings, letting it all out. his behaviour has been utterly confusing whilst we have been dating. And I can appreciate he didn’t like me romantically. It’s just the way even after he ends things.. before he ended things, he was sending me ‘cute date ideas’ in his words. One activity he spoke of for e cute date ideas, a few months later he took me there as friends, h
  14. I've had a very similar experience in the last few years, took me two years to get over my ex (who I broke it off with). Met someone I was immediately crazy about put way too much into it and was a bit of a mess when it ended up not going very well. You're not alone. All you can do is work on yourself, but hanging on to his memory this long and catastrophising are signs of low self-esteem (something I also struggle with). Your positive description of yourself and your other statements don't line up, you don't seem to be someone who's brimming with self-confidence. I think you need to
  15. Yes and I appreciate that. I guess I just struggle as it took me over a year to get over my ex, didn’t think I’d like someone again and then this guy came along and did everything my ex never did for me without me asking. My ex was communicative but never took me on a date once and he didn’t want kids , this new guy planned dates (although confirmed plans very last minute which frustrated me and I had to bring that up as it meant I couldn’t plan my weekend). after my ex I had a lot of therapy, i didn’t fancy anyone else and it made me quite anxious scared I wouldn’t meet someone
  16. I’m 27 but 28 next week
  17. semble

    Perspective

    If all of your communication has been via text then I'm not seeing a problem with it.
  18. Sony12

    Search functions vs swiping functions on apps

    While true however I think the days of trying to sell online dating as being a safe place where you won't potentially be freaked out has long since past. People by now know that online dating is basically just an online version of a bar. Either people are ok with that or they aren't.
  19. So it's a case of the one that got away really. I think from what you described he's not worth pining over like this and there's no magic formula for what you did "wrong" he just didn't see a relationship with you and nothing you could have done was going to change that. 27 is still very young in today's world, as is 28 and 29. Even if you were 39, 49 or 59 hey the circumstances maybe be a bit different but its the same stuff weren't talking about. You can't worry about what anyone else is doing, you're on your own path. The nature of dating is you're probably not going to click with
  20. cheating-test_com

    Search functions vs swiping functions on apps

    Most dating apps use swiping to leverage paid subscriptions. Additionally, they need to make females feel comfortable by requiring mutual likes before messaging. Otherwise, it would be just another Instagram, where anyone can already text them.
  21. flitzanu

    Keeping contact with exes

    generally if you have no sexual attraction to your ex, and your ex has no sexual attraction toward you, then it can be ok. one thing being failed to mention, most current girlfriends/boyfriends aren't entirely thrilled about seeing people that you used to sleep with, because whether we admit it or not it can create this weird competition about who is more attractive.
  22. In April you wrote that you were 28. Whether you are 27 or 28 or 29 is not really important. That you seem to be less than forthcoming about details is an issue.
  1. Load more activity
×
×
  • Create New...