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Why is he treating me like crap after we reconnected?
Gebidozo replied to Mizz Layta's topic in Dating
A much better question is why are you letting him treat you like this? What does it matter why he is being a jerk? The only real answer that would be helpful to you is “because you let him”. Stop communicating with him altogether. There are much nicer men available for both casual sex and a more serious connection. - Today
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How can she rebound in 2 week when it is not even over?
ExpatInItaly replied to Struggling1010's topic in Breaks and Breaking Up
This is how you know this break-up was coming, whether or not you impulsively ended it. She was already drifting away. Who was she spending time with, and what was she lying about, exactly? How do you know she's only known him 2 weeks? -
Why is he treating me like crap after we reconnected?
ExpatInItaly replied to Mizz Layta's topic in Dating
I thought this sounded familliar. OP, did you not like the advice you got before? -
How can she rebound in 2 week when it is not even over?
Acacia98 replied to Struggling1010's topic in Breaks and Breaking Up
People often rush to fill the vacuum when a relationship ends/is ending/is on the rocks because the prospect of being single terrifies them. So what she's doing is not unusual. Now, I think your relationship was bound to end eventually. There is a suggestion in your post (or maybe I'm just imagining it) that you're the sort of person who tries to hold on tight even when cracks have started to appear. Maybe it's time to focus on the things that were happening in your relationship and why they were happening. Why was she lying to you? Was it a habitual thing or a recent development? What el -
How can she rebound in 2 week when it is not even over?
Gebidozo replied to Struggling1010's topic in Breaks and Breaking Up
Her behavior has nothing to do with either detachment or affection. She saw that things weren’t working out between you too, and she jumped onto a new guy to make herself feel better. Those loud, public displays of everlasting love on social media mean absolutely nothing. In many cases, it’s just insecure people trying to convince themselves or others that things are going swell. Don’t pay any attention to that, block her, and start moving on. Whatever she is feeling or doing now isn’t your concern any longer. -
Express your interest, text her you can't wait to see her again, of course if it's how you feel. Personally l have always needed a man to clearly pursue me. If l had any doubts about his intetest, l would lose interest myself. You need to escalade things. Do you have something else planned for after dinner? You cannot hesitate in your behavior, women want a man that knows what he wants and goes for it.
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Dating isn’t about making the other person do or not do anything. People move at different speeds and yes, sometimes it takes them longer time than 3 dates to be ready for sex. That said, it’s hard to see what this has to do with your situation. It’s not that you tried to be more sexual with her and she said she needed more time and continued communicating as usual.
- Yesterday
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she says not ready to be in a relationship right now, wants to be friends, doesnt have feelings for me anymore
SurfCity replied to tommy2025's topic in Breaks and Breaking Up
You don't seem compatible with her at all. It seems like she tells you what she wants from you and in response you do nothing. She said she wants more compliments, that's pretty easy to do, but you didn't bother. You ignored her while she was crying on the drive home and didn't find out until later that it was because she thought that you had ignored her. You admit to deliberately ignoring her during the first year of the relationship and you don't like the amount she drinks. Let this relationship go, you two aren't right for each other. -
Sounds to me like you weren't horny enough to make a move. In my experience, when two people are into each other, they can't keep apart
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How can she rebound in 2 week when it is not even over?
basil67 replied to Struggling1010's topic in Breaks and Breaking Up
The two of you were on/off/on/off over the space of a week. This was the beginning of the end because you both had one foot out the door. And her telling you to "move on if you could" was the final goodbye As far as being able to detach quickly, she was able to do so because partly because she'd fallen out of love with you and partly because there were new arms to fall into -
I didn't really see a fit moment to do it at the time. But in hindsight there probably was moments I could have. That's why I think I've fumbled it by it appearing like a step back. My only shot of redemption is if she sees through Saturday's date but not hopeful she will
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Yeah I suppose it's a lot for some people. I feel like I'm playing games which I hate as I've not replied tonight as I'm matching her energy and don't want to keep hitting up her phone. Thanks, hopefully you're right. I know that people are all different but would have assumed she has had plenty of chances to not see me again, especially when I asked about a 4th date but she seemed responsive and enthusiastic about it. I suppose tomorrow I will find out either way - I'm away Friday so will message her to mention I'll book a table for 7 so will get my answer either way.
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So she would have welcomed a warming hug...question is, why didn't you snuggle with her for longer? Why didn't you kiss her at that time? You've already done this stuff, so it makes no sense that you're pulling back now.
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Texting a lot through the day cannot be sustained for long, people work and need to concentrate on their responsibilities. All you need to know is she gladly accepted your date invitation for Saturday. That will be your 4th date. Uninterested people don't go on 4th date.
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How can she rebound in 2 week when it is not even over?
Struggling1010 posted a topic in Breaks and Breaking Up
I (24M) was in a relationship with my girlfriend (22F) for two years, but we had known each other for five. Our relationship was mostly good, with a few arguments but plenty of love. The breakup happened after I got upset and said I wanted to break up because she repeatedly lied about spending time with others (not cheating, just not being honest). I didn’t mean it—it was out of frustration—but she took it seriously. Two days later, I was able to reconcile with her, but four days after that, she told me she wanted to break up again, saying she felt overwhelmed. Instead of letting go, I su -
Yeah we held hands walking along the beach. And she didn't pull away. We didn't hold them for too long but we did. And when she was home she was joking about how cold she was so I said I did try to warm you up and she joked back saying yeah not for long enough. It was just when I dropped her home we just hugged and I was expecting her to stay and talk for 2 minutes but she got out. I should have maybe gone for the kiss instead of the hug. But she text fine after this. It's only 2 days later she suddenly is showing a big shift in how she communicates and the texts have become much sho
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Thanks for the first thoughtful response. I'd have been of the opinion someone opening up sharing something about them is building a deeper connection of trust and vulnerability. If someone wasn't interested then they have no reason to share something that has had such a big impact on their life. I really need to learn to stop holding on to outcomes and let things happen. Like you say I have no control so me holding on so much is only having an impact on my anxieties and not the outcome.
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she says not ready to be in a relationship right now, wants to be friends, doesnt have feelings for me anymore
basil67 replied to tommy2025's topic in Breaks and Breaking Up
Do you know why so many in our parents generation stayed together? It's because they had no other choice. a) divorce was frowned upon and b) many women didn't have the earning capacity to be able to support themselves and the kids. And even if she did have a well paying job, the woman couldn't get a loan or own property without her husband being on the title. Staying through any kind of crap situation should not be a marital goal. -
Ok to sum up our 2 year relationship: * met at work, worked together about a year and then on new years a spark happened and we hit it off and maybe moved too fast into the relationship * all kinds of magic talk the first few months and first year, ie. ( destined to be together, we knew each other from the past, other various destiny type of signals, soulmate etc) *the first year i worked the opposite shift she does, she worked days, and me evenings so just based on the work was hard to have time with her, but we still made time together * she wanted me to do a lot of fa
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A walk along the beach is the perfect time to walk holding hands, or to have your arm around her. Question is, did you try and she moved away? Or did you not try? Either way, between lack of contact in the perfect situation and and her texting going cool, it doesn't bode well
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First, you have no control over how she feels. Maybe she's the one, maybe she is not. Just be yourself, be interested in her, and the universe will decide. If she's not the one it's ok, it will be someone else. Stay away from beliefs like no sex by 3rd date means not interested. If people search for sex, sure! But people looking for love sometimes will take their time. Also, my bf shared his big trauma with me on our 3rd or 4th date. It's something he felt l needed to know about him. We're heading on our 3rd year together so...no friendzoned here.
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What to do when he just wants to be friends
JuicyFruit-90 replied to JuicyFruit-90's topic in Breaks and Breaking Up
You are right. I‘m feeling the detriment of being ˋfriendsˋ with him - it’s draining, and painful to hear about his desires for other women. I’ve told him conversations about relationships are off limits if we meet for a catch up. When we go out he’s a great companion, it’s really enjoyable, so losing that will be hard. -
Maybe just stop watching TV until you and your therapist manage to work through this? You ARE in therapy, I hope?
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What to do when he just wants to be friends
JuicyFruit-90 replied to JuicyFruit-90's topic in Breaks and Breaking Up
Hi stillafool, thanks. No, he definitely isn’t it, and I’m starting to think I had a lucky escape! -
Her not contacting you is a not interested in you. Everything looks delicious with beer goggles on. The sober thing was prob a reality check that what she felt before was induced by alcohol. As for her talking about something very personal...it is NOT a good sign and never is. Intimacy in not built on secrets and trauma. That kind of thing is a red flag, possible sending you into the friendzone. When you are excited/hot and heavy for someone, talking about sad/negative things are the last thing on your mind to attract the other person. AND you don't go cold, be blunt or short with someone you