tinktronik Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 OK, Ariadne. Thanks for the clarification. I see nothing wrong with it. Actually, it is refreshingly sweet and romantic. You obviously fell in love with this man. I am sorry that he didn't fall as much in love with you as you did. If he had, he wold have left his girl-friend to be with you. What's become obvious to me is that you considered the girlfriend an obstacle to your happiness in the arms of Denver guy. Once she was out of the picture, you took your chances and wrote to him. That took courage and a whole lot of determination which you seem to have in abundance because you feel so much for this guy. You strike me as being a woman who does not play games and is honest to the point of naivete at times. I think being simple and honest are admirable traits especially in this day and age when everyone plays mind games. You took your chance, you laid your heart out on the table for him to see. Now, my sweet, let him make the next move. He knows how you feel. If he doesn't contact you again and express his wish to see you, honey, you are going to have to let go of the dream. Of course, you can wait forever if you feel you must, but while you are hoping and dreaming, live your life to the fullest and do not be afraid to embrace another dream if perchance one should happen to cross your path. Try and say that again when some guy whom you have told you have no interest in is watching you through your windows with binoculars. Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Try and say that again when some guy whom you have told you have no interest in is watching you through your windows with binoculars. She'd be on the phone to the cops in a hot second! Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 OK, Ariadne. Thanks for the clarification. I see nothing wrong with it. Actually, it is refreshingly sweet and romantic. You need to not make this into something acceptable because it isn't.. Also it was 2000 miles she drove... You will just put a thought or two in her head and she will go do something unacceptable again. Maybe you should read up on this..this happened YEARS AGO http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t119978 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t102769 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t81751 This is an unhealthy obsession that will most likely end with a protective order.. Marlena, you can make this all out to be romantic but that just isn't the case.. Also Marlena.. you haven't answered the question about what you would feel if someone was doing this to you and watching you ?? Would it make you feel all warm and cozy inside ? This part was taken from a post from Islandgirl on the second thread.. Please read carefully... * The general assembly hereby finds and declares that stalking is a serious problem in this state and nationwide. Although stalking often involves persons who have had an intimate relationship with one another, it can also involve persons who have little or no past relationship. A stalker will often maintain strong, unshakable, and irrational emotional feelings for his or her victim, and may likewise believe that the victim either returns these feelings of affection or will do so if the stalker is persistent enough. Further, the stalker often maintains this belief, despite a trivial or nonexistent basis for it and despite rejection, lack of reciprocation, efforts to restrict or avoid the stalker, and other facts that conflict with this belief. * (b) A person commits stalking if directly, or indirectly through another person, such person knowingly: * (III) Repeatedly follows, approaches, contacts, places under surveillance, or makes any form of communication with another person, a member of that person's immediate family, or someone with whom that person has or has had a continuing relationship in a manner that would cause a reasonable person to suffer serious emotional distress and does cause that person, a member of that person's immediate family, or someone with whom that person has or has had a continuing relationship to suffer serious emotional distress. For purposes of this subparagraph (III), a victim need not show that he or she received professional treatment or counseling to show that he or she suffered serious emotional distress. * (5) Where a person commits stalking under paragraph (b) of subsection (4) of this section, the following shall apply: * (a) A person commits a class 5 felony for a first offense. * (a.5) For a second or subsequent offense, if such offense occurs within seven years of the date of a prior offense for which such person was convicted, the offender commits a class 4 felony. Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Try and say that again when some guy whom you have told you have no interest in is watching you through your windows with binoculars. She wasn't consistently stalking him or threatening him in any way. She drove out to see someone she had fallen in love with but could not muster up the courage to talk to him. Instead she watched him from afar and left a rose. This is not stalking. It was a one time incident. Checking out someone's MySpace is not stalking. Everyone does it. She pretty much left him alone to go on with his life until she found out that he had broken up with his girlfriend. Then, she made her move. Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 This is an unhealthy obsession that will most likely end with a protective order.. Marlena, you can make this all out to be romantic but that just isn't the case.. Also Marlena.. you haven't answered the question about what you would feel if someone was doing this to you and watching you ?? Would it make you feel all warm and cozy inside ? Art, I agree 100% that this is not healthy. Obsesssive behaviour never is. Maybe she just needs more time. Maybe she needs more support. Also Marlena.. you haven't answered the question about what you would feel if someone was doing this to you and watching you ?? Would it make you feel all warm and cozy inside ? If it only happened once, if I knew that this person was in love with me, I would not get angry that he watched my house trying to get up the courage to talk to me. And, yes, the rose would move me. Actually, I might even feel compassion. However, if he continually harassed me or threatened me in any way, I would take measures, yes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted June 18, 2008 Author Share Posted June 18, 2008 This is an unhealthy obsession that will most likely end with a protective order.. Marlena, you can make this all out to be romantic but that just isn't the case.. I didn't contact him practically for the past two years (except when I'd get drunk I'd declare my undying love). And now he responded very civil as you saw. He is very open minded and is not going to freak out for that. That's why I asked him in my second email what he thought of me going there and if I had scared him. Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Repeatedly follows, approaches, contacts, places under surveillance, or makes any form of communication with another person, a member of that person's immediate family, or someone with whom that person has or has had a continuing relationship in a manner that would cause a reasonable person to suffer serious emotional distress and does cause that person, a member of that person's immediate family, or someone with whom that person has or has had a continuing relationship to suffer serious emotional distress. For purposes of this subparagraph (III), a victim need not show that he or she received professional treatment or counseling to show that he or she suffered serious emotional The key word is REPEATEDLY. I don't think Ariadne has repeatedly done anything but send an odd e-mail here and there. If Denver guy had felt any "serious emotional distress", I don't think he would have answered her e-mail. Again, her fixation,love,infatuation, puppy love, crush, whatever, is not healthy. She needs to put this behind her and try to build a happier life for herself. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Ariadne.. what ever happened to the FWB guy you used to see ?... You really need to go out and start dating other guys.. DG is never going to be there for you in the capacity that you want him to be.. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 The key word is REPEATEDLY. It has been repeatedly in the past... The GF got a TPO on her once Marlena.. This is from the opening post of her thread form a while back ago.. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t119978/ So... I've been getting drunk almost every single day and... I have started emailing him. Oh no!!! I had stopped emailing him about a year ago when things got very nasty with the gf. She did some criminal actions against me in order to make me not email him, and I decided I didn't want anything to do with that situation anymore. Well, a year later and after lots of wine, to my dismay, I sent him one email... and another, and another, and another. Four total. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted June 18, 2008 Author Share Posted June 18, 2008 It has been repeatedly in the past... The GF got a TPO on her once Marlena.. This is from the opening post of her thread form a while back ago.. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t119978/ No, What she did was to steal some explicit pictures of mine and publish them online with my full legal name. That's the criminal action she did againt me. Now that was illegal. Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 You stated in your previous threads that the gf did criminal action against you but that DG made it go away. What is it that he made "go away" if not a TPO,A? Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 You missed the whole drive to his house and watch him thru binoculars in another state thread a while back ago. She has stalked before and was alluding to it in her email to him.. that actually amounts to harassment being that she was asking him if he enjoyed being watched. The looking at his GF's myspace every day and tracking his moves on other forums is a creepy form of cyber stalking and I'm sure you Marlena would not apprecaite it if someone that had a fascination with you was doing it. She knows his almost every move.. Hell.. I'll bet she knew that his GF was broken up with him before he did... She knows too much about his life being that she was never in it and isn't in it presently.. She isn't acting in a healthy manner towards herself by acting the way she is doing.. This is how many years later ??.. After a non-relationship... Her behaviour/attitudes MAY be at least understandable if they had enjoyed a prior relationship - but when they were never even "together" yeah, it's creepy and weird. Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Come on, Art. She was on a drinking binge. People do stupid things when drunk. I don't know about the other girl. Perhaps she went a little bit overboard herself. Maybe out of jealousy,insecurity, anger,exasperation, a controlling personality, whatever. One thing to ponder is why he himself didn't take out an order and instead let his girlfriend do his dirty business. Urgh!! One thing is certain. She needs to stop. The ball is in his court now. Any further contact would be harasment, I agree. Ariadne, let him go, if you are truly meant to be together he will find you himself. Believe that. Take care of yourself and only yourself. Nobody else will. Focus on you and how you can organize your life in such a way that will provide you with a sense of satisfaction and well-being. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 No, What she did was to steal some explicit pictures of mine and publish them online with my full legal name. That's the criminal action she did againt me. Now that was illegal. Oh.. sorry I misread that A.... Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Ariadne you fascinate me, as I am someone who could never settle for a relationship that I had fabricated in my head. I believe that Marlena is spot on with her tragic heroine analogy and I wonder how your thinking led you to this point in your life. You have had successful relationships in your life, ie, the relationship with your son's father so how did Denver Guy become the all encompassing love of your life? What are you getting out of this stalking? What need of yours is this behavior fulfilling? If Denver Guy decided that he wanted a "real" relationship with you, do you think the relationship would endure after you saw him as a regular human complete with flaws? Or is it safer for you to be in a relationship that could never work, as a "real" relationship might be painful? Ariadne, I believe there is someone for everyone, and if you truly believe in reincarnation then you know that your "soul mate" is on the other side. There's no way that he is here for you now, not in this life--perhaps you are thinking he is a "kindred spirit." Unfortunately, for you, he doesn't see it the same way that you do. I worry what will happen to you, when you realize that this relationship with Denver Guy can never be................but you already know this on some level, I am sure. What fascinates me is the harshness with which A responds to other's threads, considering her continuing unfounded infatuation with this guy Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 No, What she did was to steal some explicit pictures of mine and publish them online with my full legal name. That's the criminal action she did againt me. Now that was illegal. Wow!!! You should have pressed charges. Now that's causing "severe emotional distress". What a mess! Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Come on, Art. She was on a drinking binge. People do stupid things when drunk. I don't know about the other girl. Perhaps she went a little bit overboard herself. Maybe out of jealousy,insecurity, anger,exasperation, a controlling personality, whatever. One thing to ponder is why he himself didn't take out an order and instead let his girlfriend do his dirty business. Urgh!! One thing is certain. She needs to stop. The ball is in his court now. Any further contact would be harasment, I agree. Ariadne, let him go, if you are truly meant to be together he will find you himself. Believe that. Take care of yourself and only yourself. Nobody else will. Focus on you and how you can organize your life in such a way that will provide you with a sense of satisfaction and well-being. She is STILL e-mailing him throughout the days of this post. How much is Any further, she has been doing this for years. A needs serious help , please don't encourage her . Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Come on, Art. She was on a drinking binge. People do stupid things when drunk. You were the one that said she wasn't doing it repeatedly.. but then I show you that she was and that is okay too... Marlena.. it is going on an almost 3 year fixation on a man she didn't really know.. and certainly she doesn't know anymore and now she is back to emailing more than once.. Did you not read the part where he stopped responding to her emails when she mentioned that she stalked him ? Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 You were the one that said she wasn't doing it repeatedly.. but then I show you that she was and that is okay too... Marlena.. it is going on an almost 3 year fixation on a man she didn't really know.. and certainly she doesn't know anymore and now she is back to emailing more than once.. Did you not read the part where he stopped responding to her emails when she mentioned that she stalked him ? Was DG actually aware that she was stalking him? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 please don't encourage her . I agree and this is where I feel that Marlena is making a mistake.. She is encouraging her.. even though she is saying that she needs to move on she is still saying that what she is doing is romantic and okay.. and that is encouraging her... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ariadne Posted June 18, 2008 Author Share Posted June 18, 2008 No, Wow!!! You should have pressed charges. Now that's causing "severe emotional distress". What a mess! No kidding. I told him I was going to have to sue and they removed them. I didn't want to deal with that kind of stuff after that. You put my name in google and all my employers, family, son, anybody would get those pictures first result. Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 Did you not read the part where he stopped responding to her emails when she mentioned that she stalked him ? Well,then, she needs to stop immediately. She gave it a try, it didn't work out,now she has to move on and flush him out of her system in whatever way works for her. Even if she has no boundaries, she is obligated to respect his. There can be no doubt about that. Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 No kidding. I told him I was going to have to sue and they removed them. I didn't want to deal with that kind of stuff after that. You put my name in google and all my employers, family, son, anybody would get those pictures first result. What sort of pictures were these and how did DG and his GF end up with them? Did they perhaps post something about you, if so what? Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 No kidding. I told him I was going to have to sue and they removed them. I didn't want to deal with that kind of stuff after that. You put my name in google and all my employers, family, son, anybody would get those pictures first result. Honey, the fact that he let her do this reflects very badly on him. You are way too nice for him. Surely you can see that. Link to post Share on other sites
Kasan Posted June 18, 2008 Share Posted June 18, 2008 A needs serious help , please don't encourage her . Do you really think that Ariadne is listening to anything that we are saying? We all hear the warning bells loud and clear, however, the person who needs to hear them the most seems to be deaf. Ariadne is living in a fantasy world where she has created the perfect love for whatever reasons that suits her purpose. I really don't think at this stage of the game, we could encourage her or discourage her from her current course of action. *Sigh* What is that saying? "There is none so blind that cannot see"....or something like that. Link to post Share on other sites
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