dropdeadlegs Posted October 18, 2007 Share Posted October 18, 2007 I LOVE a painkiller high! Pretty effed up way to get painkillers, though. You will have so many people in both real life and cyperworld sending their strongest "it all goes well" vibes! Of course I will be anxious to hear how surgery goes, but take care of yourself, first. We can wait on pins and needles, it's really okay. My thoughts have been with you from day one, and will continue to be. I don't exactly pray, but I'm praying for you in my own way. Link to post Share on other sites
DazedandConfused66 Posted October 19, 2007 Share Posted October 19, 2007 LB, you won't read this until late tonight your time, but it's 1A here and I can't sleep...miss wifey tonite. She's still recovering in the hospital. We got her up and she walked around some today. I'm flabbergasted that she can do so given the size of the incision (hip to hip and then some) around her waist and the drains coming out. She puts my strength to shame some days....really one tough chick. We giggled a little at her new boob...it has small little tummy hairs on it as it came from her belly. She just joked with me about it and claimed that I'm not the only member of the family sprouting weird hairs now. I actually am involved in several local and regional support programs. I lead a men's support group for breast cancer "spousal support," primarily because as a man it's so hardwired in us to want to be active and 'fix things' that I've discovered MANY men just go nuts during their wife's cancer treatments. But really, something about your first post in the thread captured my heart and I wanted to do whatever I could to help you. So I'm here, I've opened up my heart my wifes' story to you and will be here as long as you want/need my support. And it's here from so many others as well. My wife has been too busy with recovery to get too involved just yet, but it's on her list of to-do's. She's currently mentoring another early-stage breast cancer patient she met thru the local ACS. You have a tough day ahead of you, both physically and emotionally. And, unfortunately, yet another waiting period before your results from this procedure. I swear, it's easier to get a handgun than it is to get pathology reports these days, and that's just all kinds of messed up. My hope and prayers are that you find the strength to deal with today and the waiting period that will follow. We are all here....let us know if we can help. Link to post Share on other sites
dropdeadlegs Posted October 19, 2007 Share Posted October 19, 2007 I swear, it's easier to get a handgun than it is to get pathology reports these days, and that's just all kinds of messed up. Ain't THAT the truth! I don't understand why it has to take so long when a human life is at stake, not to mention their sanity. Something should be done about waiting times. Waiting is true hell. Worse than knowing , even when the results are not positive. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted October 19, 2007 Share Posted October 19, 2007 LB is in the hospital now. Poor thing. I hope she is not in a lot of pain. LB, we're thinking of you, swettie. I thought about you almost all day, on and off. I am sure everyone else here is thinking of you, too. When you come back, tell us all the details that you feel like telling. You know how after a surgery you want to tell everyone how your lips were dry and you wanted to pee and food was good, etc. but then you realize that nobody cares about those little unimportant things? Everyone just wants to know that you're OK. Well, please feel free to type everything you want to tell. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LucreziaBorgia Posted October 19, 2007 Author Share Posted October 19, 2007 Well, I'm still here - its only 7am my time as I type this. My kid is eating breakfast and watching Pokemon, and we will leave for school at 7:30 at usual. My MIL offered to keep my daughter last night, but I wanted today to be like a normal morning for her. So, it is so far. I'll drop her off like usual. I hope that will keep her from worrying too much today. While I have been forthcoming about the cancer with her, I haven't shared the heavy stuff: the depression, the doubt, the anger - I have been talking 'recovery', 'getting stronger', etc. The positives. So, she won't be freaking out today, at least. Me, on the other hand... Well, I'm not freaking out. Just feeling a little nauseated and nervous. In an hour and a half, its go time. I should be home later tonight, and if I'm up for it I'll update. If not, it will be the next day probably. Thanks so much all of you for your encouraging words. I'm hoping to have some of my own when I get back. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted October 19, 2007 Share Posted October 19, 2007 Good luck LB, we'll all be thinking of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Kasan Posted October 19, 2007 Share Posted October 19, 2007 Well, I'm not freaking out. Just feeling a little nauseated and nervous. From my own experience, waiting to have surgery done, is the hardest part. By tomorrow at this time--you will be on your way to recovery! Link to post Share on other sites
Author LucreziaBorgia Posted October 19, 2007 Author Share Posted October 19, 2007 I posted this on my blog just now, so I'll c/p update here: Ok, so I am out of surgery and chilling at X's place for a few days to heal up. He and my bf have been keeping an eye on me while I slept for a couple of hours after getting home. I don't hurt. Vicodan helps! I got there at 8:30, and my MIL and my dad's wife was there (much like a mother to me, actually). I walked back for the vitals, and to prep for surgery. They started an IV on me, and gave me this drug which relaxes you, and wipes out your short term memory. They do this for patients who have phobias against being put to sleep. They gave me a very small dose, to relax me. Then my doctor came in to do the lymph node biopsy. Simultaneously, they gave me a mega dose of the 'forgetting' drug, and all I remember is feeling the dye needle going in, a stinging and then... I was waking up. I don't remember the biopsy or going to anesthesia. The biopsy was negative! There is no cancer in my lymph nodes. So, that means no spreading. I am so relieved. The partial mastectomy is done, the port-a cath in installed in my chest, and all I have to do now is wait for the 25th to find out if the margins are clean and if I will need more surgery. I feel very groggy, but I am not in any pain. I can only eat clear stuff - broth, and crackers. So, I'm eating a bowl of beef broth as I write this, and some saltines. Simple, warm, delicious. Link to post Share on other sites
DazedandConfused66 Posted October 19, 2007 Share Posted October 19, 2007 The biopsy was negative! There is no cancer in my lymph nodes. So, that means no spreading. I am so relieved. The partial mastectomy is done, the port-a cath in installed in my chest, and all I have to do now is wait for the 25th to find out if the margins are clean and if I will need more surgery. **HUGE SMILE** OMG LB, that is such terrific news. Outstanding news. Despite the trials of today, likely the VERY BEST news you can get during treatment for breast cancer. The absence of cancer cells in the sentinel node means that the cancer hasn't spread to the nodes and your systemic treatment options (chemo and tamoxifen) are WIDE open now. I know you still have to wait for the results to see if they need to excise more tissue, but I can't begin to tell you how happy I am for you! It was soooo tough for me to hear that they found cancer in the sentinel node for my wife, it was one of those defining emotional moments. To hear just the opposite for you is such a relief...if you haven't just yet (and understandably so), take some time to celebrate this victory when you have a moment downstream. It's HUGE. Way to go! I'm so very, very happy for that news. You made my week! Rest up, let folks pamper you a bit, take it easy and catch up on your reading or movies or whatever. Relax and take comfort knowing that your battle plan is working! ***HUGS*** Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 19, 2007 Share Posted October 19, 2007 LB, I've got tears in my eyes, I'm so relieved to hear that this went as well as it did! Kick back, relax and just know that everything WILL be okay. Enjoy the drug buzz while it lasts. PS I'm abit disappointed that your post was so well written and there isn't any evidence of the drug effects...LOL Just teasing. Get a good nights rest! Hugs! Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted October 20, 2007 Share Posted October 20, 2007 LB, I've got tears in my eyes, I'm so relieved to hear that this went as well as it did! Me, too! I knew you'd be fine and you'll soon be out of this nightmare. I am so glad everything went OK. And I must say that you're a brave girl. You were so scared and admitted it; now you don't mind posting that you're not in pain and that all is OK. Some people would be dramatizing their state just to evoke sympathy. But you're strong. Link to post Share on other sites
dropdeadlegs Posted October 20, 2007 Share Posted October 20, 2007 Negative lymph nodes!!!!:bunny: That is the BEST news, and I'm glad you are feeling no pain and even good enough to post. Oh yeah, Vicodin IS great. Glad they gave you some actual painkillers, Some of the crap they subscribe today doesn't even put a dent in pain. If it isn't narcotic and possibly addictive, it isn't worth a damn. Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted October 20, 2007 Share Posted October 20, 2007 Great,great News!!!!!!!!!Wishes for a speedy recovery. LB! Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted October 20, 2007 Share Posted October 20, 2007 Double ditto all the happy sentiments - now I will continue to pray that the margins are good and that you can put this all behind you. I wish you a full and speedy recovery! Link to post Share on other sites
Author LucreziaBorgia Posted October 20, 2007 Author Share Posted October 20, 2007 Thanks all. This morning, I am thankful for Vicodan. It hasn't kicked in yet. I just woke up, but I can't wait until it does. This hurts unbelievably bad. The breast and underarm incision sites throb, but the port under my skin just outright HURTS. Damn, its painful. That place where it is hurts, and it radiates out a few inches from there. It hurts to move my left arm at all. I read about and have seen people who gets implants under their skin as a part of body modification and let me say that I understand now why people say that it is hardcore. No tattoo, no piercing ever hurt as bad as having something implanted under the skin. I guess it is so painful because of the nature of the nerves near the surface of the skin. I dunno. All I know is that it hurts. I'll be fine when this Vicodan kicks in. I feel like a whiny baby, though when I think about the extensive nature of D&C's wife's surgery. I can't even begin to imagine what she must have felt like on the morning after her surgery. D&C, if you read this - you and your wife have my greatest respect for enduring through this, and I hope all is well with you and your family. Link to post Share on other sites
DazedandConfused66 Posted October 20, 2007 Share Posted October 20, 2007 We have become best friends with Vicodin over the past year. Good stuff. It's not surprising you mention the pain of the mediport/port-a-cath. This was my wife's PRIMARY discomfort, along with her underarm. She had about 15-20 lymph nodes removed and the way they do it is to remove a "pad" of tissue that contains all of them under your arm. She'll have to contend with lymphoedema for the rest of her life, but what really bothered her in the days after the node removal was her arm going numb. But the mediport up by her collarbone was a constant source of irritation for her. The doctor told us it's because that is attached directly to the muscles under your collarbone and those things move pretty much non-stop when you do just about anything, even breathing. Most patients claim the pain is temporary and disappears in just a few days. But others, like my wife, had discomfort with it for the entirety of having it. I think it's also a bit psychological and that's entirely justified....it's a constant reminder that you are (or will be) receiving chemo treatments thru that port. Honestly, the day it came out, my wife and I shared a bottle of wine together....she was sooooo happy to be rid of that damned thing. My wife is back home now, btw. Up and walking, enjoying being back home. She's "nesting" with a bunch of pillows on the couch beside me right now. 3 drains this time, we are emptying them about every 2 hours now, which means it's slowing down. The surgery was pretty extensive and I'm amazed she's up and around, but since she got a DEIP procedure and not a normal tram-flap, they didn't remove any muscle in her waist....otherwise, she'd still be flat on her back. Amazing advances in this area of reconstructive surgery. Rest up LB, I'm anxious to hear your pathology results. No presence of cells in your sentinel node means the Enemy isn't INSIDE of you anymore. Rejoice in that....wonderful victory! Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted October 20, 2007 Share Posted October 20, 2007 Sorry to hear it hurts LB. Don't say you say like a whiny baby! I think you are allowed to feel a little sorry for yourself given the circumstances. Take care, and I am happy to hear that your lymph nodes are negative. Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted October 20, 2007 Share Posted October 20, 2007 I just wanted to pass on something I found very helpful & maybe it will also help you even though our surgeries were different. I have had three back surgeries & the one thing I learned is don't let the pain get so bad you can't handle it. The first time I was like; Oh I can handle the pain, I don't need pain killers but once you get behind it is really hard to keep on top of it, so take the pain killers before you really feel you need them. I just found out a friend of ours that me & the W both worked with & she is younger then we are has breast cancer. Don't know anything else but it has to be ruff.... Good luck on your recovery, sounds like you have a great support group there helping you.... Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 20, 2007 Share Posted October 20, 2007 ***Hugz *** Link to post Share on other sites
Oregon Blackberry Posted October 20, 2007 Share Posted October 20, 2007 You are in my thoughts. I will be praying for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Incognitox Posted October 20, 2007 Share Posted October 20, 2007 LB, you are an incredible woman. I have read so many of your posts here and your intelligence, strength, wisdom and class shines through in every one. I wish you weren't having the pain and I hope so much that you heal quick and have lots of plans on how to pamper yourself to get back up to speed as quick as you can. Sending you the biggest good vibes I got Link to post Share on other sites
Havn_a_life Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 Glad to hear you're doing well, LB! Sorry to hear about the pain you are dealing with. Thoughts and prayers coming your way! Yay You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
coco_milkshake Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 Glad it went well and that the results came up negative!! You are one amazing woman. *hugs* Link to post Share on other sites
carrotgirl Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 LB, You are amazing! I cried and cried I was so happy when I read your good news. Here's to a continued great recovery. Don't sweat the whines or complaints. You've earned them. I'm a little late but...... Happy ReBirthday!!!!! Carrot Link to post Share on other sites
DazedandConfused66 Posted October 22, 2007 Share Posted October 22, 2007 How's it going LB? Pain subsiding somewhat? I know it's a few days yet till your pathology report comes back. Just checking on your general welfare. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts