He left me. He walked out.

[Lovingme81]

thank you. im in my work cubicle crying, im trying to hold back anyone hearig me. this isn't fair

[Fufu]

You seemed like a very nice lady and I really believe you deserve a real man who treats you like a real lady. Treats you dearly with both words and actions.

 

Don't be too hard on yourself.

 

I always believe:

Good people have good Karma

Bad people will get their bad karma

[Lovingme81]

You seemed like a very nice lady and I really believe you deserve a real man who treats you like a real lady. Treats you dearly with both words and actions.

 

Don't be too hard on yourself.

 

I always believe:

Good people have good Karma

Bad people will get their bad karma

 

 

 

I try to believe that God will help me even though I'm not really sure how I feel about God. I feel like its the only thing that makes me feel ok because there is hope but also hope lets me down too.

[Lovingme81]

my mom continues to say that I need to come see the family and that will make me feel better. Why does she place so much value on that? Like the only way I can heal is by seeing my family?

[Lovingme81]

She's always dismissing my feelings. It makes me not want to be around her or my sisters .

[HeartOfAPhoenix]

my mom continues to say that I need to come see the family and that will make me feel better. Why does she place so much value on that? Like the only way I can heal is by seeing my family?

 

 

She may be thinking that being around family will put into perspective the people that care about you. I wouldn't hold any resentment towards her, even if she probably deserves it. She probably just doesn't know how to make you feel better, and feels that what she is doing is the best thing to do in this situation.

 

My dad is very logical minded and as far as emotions go he's more of the "buck up" type. But when I went through the breakup that brought me to this site I remember quite well when he tried to empathize and make me feel better... "At least this happened now and not down the road when kids might have been a factor"... It's the only time I've seen my father that way, and although it was awkward, it really put into perspective that I lost a romantic relationship but I still had people who care about me and would be there.

[DrReplyInRhymes]

Look, there's only so much that other people can help you get through this mess,

But I think you should take a step back and make yourself do a self-test.

Other will sympathize and they will try to cheer you up to see you smile,

But keep in mind, those same people haven't walked in your shoes for a mile.

 

Only you have the power to control your own heart,

Only you can talk the path to the light from the dark,

Your family, your friends, I promise they all care,

But with issues like this, they don't understand the love that you shared.

 

You are the one who loved him, but you are not defined by his affection,

HE left a good person behind, and you need to remind yourself of that projection,

Remind yourself daily that you are deserving of respect and you are no clown,

That you are a strong woman with interests that don't involve bringing you down.

 

You mentioned how you put so much time and effort into him,

Treat this as a bad investment, the fire inside of you won't dim,

In fact, all he did was fuel your fire by letting you go and be free,

To grow to love someone stronger, more caring, and better than he'll ever be.

 

But the longer you take to accept these simple little facts,

The longer it'll take you to heal and straighten out your act,

For prince charming may be right around the corner adjacent to you,

And he won't stand a chance if you insist on instead feeling blue.

 

I'm not saying get over it now, but you have one life to live,

You've wasted enough time crying over this guy, you have much more to give.

So, allow yourself a break, and really understand that you've grown,

from a woman once labeled as his, now to a woman made stronger on your own.

[Lovingme81]

lol thank you for the poem.

[Lovingme81]

What I feel like I deserve in a relationship:

 

 

1. A man who can and will introduce me to his family

 

 

2. A man who can tell me he loves me, especially if we have been intimate sexually.

 

 

3. A man who can say we are in a committed exclusive relationship.

 

 

4. A man who can make future plans with me and not always be too busy. Someone who can plan a weekend together and future dates together.

 

 

5. A man who will support me in life when I'm going through hard times. Or who can just support me period with my dreams and be there for me when I need him.

[Riptide91]

What I feel like I deserve in a relationship:

 

 

1. A man who can and will introduce me to his family

 

 

2. A man who can tell me he loves me, especially if we have been intimate sexually.

 

 

3. A man who can say we are in a committed exclusive relationship.

 

 

4. A man who can make future plans with me and not always be too busy. Someone who can plan a weekend together and future dates together.

 

 

5. A man who will support me in life when I'm going through hard times. Or who can just support me period with my dreams and be there for me when I need him.

 

Good for you! Your ex was none of these it seems like. You just proved that he was wrong for you and that you deserve someone a lot better. Continue healing and then get out there and find someone that will treat you right. There are a lot of men out there who would be happy to do all these things to have a relationship with a deserving woman!

[DrReplyInRhymes]

What I feel like I deserve in a relationship:

 

 

1. A man who can and will introduce me to his family

 

 

2. A man who can tell me he loves me, especially if we have been intimate sexually.

 

 

3. A man who can say we are in a committed exclusive relationship.

 

 

4. A man who can make future plans with me and not always be too busy. Someone who can plan a weekend together and future dates together.

 

 

5. A man who will support me in life when I'm going through hard times. Or who can just support me period with my dreams and be there for me when I need him.

 

You would think these are common, but I've also heard they are not,

What you are asking isn't too demanding, so be keen to that thought.

Keep these in mind for the future when you meet someone new,

Don't let anyone get by with a "well, maybe.."; THAT you've already been through.

[Lovingme81]

I want those things and the one person I wanted most in the world couldn't and wouldn't give them to me. Deep inside I feel like I'll never find it especially how to myself I am. I will just wait forever. I don't even really care if I never find it. As long as I never have to feel like this again.

[Fufu]

What I feel like I deserve in a relationship:

 

 

1. A man who can and will introduce me to his family

 

 

2. A man who can tell me he loves me, especially if we have been intimate sexually.

 

 

3. A man who can say we are in a committed exclusive relationship.

 

 

4. A man who can make future plans with me and not always be too busy. Someone who can plan a weekend together and future dates together.

 

 

5. A man who will support me in life when I'm going through hard times. Or who can just support me period with my dreams and be there for me when I need him.

 

 

You will meet this guy only you have let go of the past and moved on.

[Lovingme81]

I'm so stressed at work. My family is pressuring me putting more pressure on me to hang out, I just really want to be left alone. I'm at my desk at work holding back tears while trying to work. I'm so stressed out. I feel ****ty especially because its the weekend and I don't have anyone and my family gets on my nerves so bad. I'm a loner. I miss him, we had so much fun together. He was like my best friend I would tell him everything and he would come over and take me out to dinner and we would sit on the couch and talk and go to bed. I miss him so much. its going on 3 weeks. I went no contact on April 6 so its 12 days. I can't do this.

[Twigyy]

Let people know that you're vulnerable, and you want to be alone. Cry it out if you need to. You're not alone. People will be there for you if you need anyone. Take your time with this. But most importantly you have to take care of yourself. Get enough sleep, remember to drink and eat, etc. I know it sucks to lose someone who was really important to you, and it won't be easy to let go. Good thing you've started NC. Now start to put things down. Put away all his stuff, change your routine that makes you remember him, delete and block, and just do what you need to.

 

I've broken my NC twice. I felt that I needed to say what I had to say. After I broken it twice I feel so different. Remember that NC is for you to heal, not to get someone back or to forget someone. Once you've realised stuff you'll stop counting the days, you'll just feel that you don't even remember.

 

Just know that you've vulnerable, and let people know if you need to. Keep posting and stay strong. Stay in NC and it will do it's magic

[Lovingme81]

Let people know that you're vulnerable, and you want to be alone. Cry it out if you need to. You're not alone. People will be there for you if you need anyone. Take your time with this. But most importantly you have to take care of yourself. Get enough sleep, remember to drink and eat, etc. I know it sucks to lose someone who was really important to you, and it won't be easy to let go. Good thing you've started NC. Now start to put things down. Put away all his stuff, change your routine that makes you remember him, delete and block, and just do what you need to.

 

I've broken my NC twice. I felt that I needed to say what I had to say. After I broken it twice I feel so different. Remember that NC is for you to heal, not to get someone back or to forget someone. Once you've realised stuff you'll stop counting the days, you'll just feel that you don't even remember.

 

Just know that you've vulnerable, and let people know if you need to. Keep posting and stay strong. Stay in NC and it will do it's magic

 

 

 

I'm scared to block because I want him back. I know I shouldn't because he wouldn't even introduce me to his family or tell me he loves me. I keep trying to tell myself this over and over. I sleep and dream about him. I wake up crying. I wish he would come back so bad. More than anything else in the world. The reason I'm doing no contact is because I want to get over him.

[kismetkismet]

Keep going with no contact. The only cure is time. Try to keep yourself busy, remind yourself why the relationship was wrong for you, and work towards building a new life. I felt like that only a couple of weeks ago (not that i wanted him back but that the pain wouldn't end) and it's made a huge improvement. The length of time is different for everyone, but it WILL get better.

[Twigyy]

I'm scared to block because I want him back. I know I shouldn't because he wouldn't even introduce me to his family or tell me he loves me. I keep trying to tell myself this over and over. I sleep and dream about him. I wake up crying. I wish he would come back so bad. More than anything else in the world. The reason I'm doing no contact is because I want to get over him.

 

But what are the chances that he will want you back? Even if he comes back do you trust him? Won't you be afraid that the same exact thing will happen again?

 

Blocking is part of NC because before you heal you'll have to firstly let go. I didn't block my ex girlfriend for a month after the breakup too, but everyone in the forum was telling me to, so I did. I realised that there is no point in not blocking them. Keeping in contact will only hurt you. You're the important one in your life. Do whatever that is important to you, and everything that makes you happy.

 

He left you because he doesn't truly love you, which sucks I know. But who would marry someone who doesn't love you. It sucks to be begging for affection. It will only make you look super needy. Love the people or things that loves you. Maybe your pet, your siblings, your weird hobbies, etc.

 

Its good that you seek help that early. Keep posting and you'll find happiness very soon

[Twigyy]

Keep going with no contact. The only cure is time. Try to keep yourself busy, remind yourself why the relationship was wrong for you, and work towards building a new life. I felt like that only a couple of weeks ago (not that i wanted him back but that the pain wouldn't end) and it's made a huge improvement. The length of time is different for everyone, but it WILL get better.

 

This.

 

Keep walking forward. Take your time.

[ZiggyZoo]

What does it say about how much he cared about your relationship, if you've had him unblocked this whole time and he hasn't once tried to contact you? Twelve days is an awful long time to be out of contact with someone you care about. I'm being harsh here, and it isn't to hurt, but to help you realize that he's not coming back. You WILL come to recognize this as a wonderful thing, but it's early yet.

 

The whole point of blocking, besides helping you heal, is to take back some control for yourself. It's saying "I'm worth more than a text or a phone call. If you want to talk to me, you're going to have to work for it". Because you absolutely are. I personally think that there is no way this man could ever make it up to you to deserve a second chance, but it sure as hell is going to have to be more than that. I'm talking in-person, at your house, honest effort stuff. And that's what blocking is for.

 

I think you're doing a great job. Twelve days is tough, and you've made it! Yes, you may feel like you're a wreck, but you've taken a huge step in the right direction in not contacting him. I'm proud of you.

 

I think maybe you should think about what YOU think would help you feel better this weekend and do exactly that. If your family's going to make it worse, then just say no. Easier said than done, I bet, but this is about YOU doing what's best for YOU. If you think being alone is best, then do that. Or hang out with your family until they drive you crazy, then leave. The important thing is to be kind to yourself. I don't care how big a jerk your ex was, he was still a part of your life for five years, and you're going to miss him. That's OK, just do what you've gotta do in this early time to get through. You WILL feel better, I promise.

[na49]

I'm scared to block because I want him back

 

If he wanted you back, a block would NOT stop him. Trust me. Blocks never stopped my ex, and they wouldn't stop yours.

[Lovingme81]

If he wanted you back, a block would NOT stop him. Trust me. Blocks never stopped my ex, and they wouldn't stop yours.

 

So him being in no contact for 12 days is basically saying he won't ever come back and he doesn't care?

[ZiggyZoo]

Yes. I know that's not what you want to hear at all, but yes.

[Twigyy]

So him being in no contact for 12 days is basically saying he won't ever come back and he doesn't care?

 

People who loves you and wants you will want you NOW, not after a couple months or something

[BC1980]

So him being in no contact for 12 days is basically saying he won't ever come back and he doesn't care?

 

Even if he did come back, what could he offer you? He doesn't love you, so what can he give you? You were just someone to pass the time with until he got the b@lls to cut you loose. I'd wager that he will be back to string you along again. He's been doing it for 5 years, so why not keep doing it when he gets lonely again? If he does come back, it's only because he's bored and lonely, not because he loves you.

 

You loved him and projected that onto him, but he never wanted love/commitment. He probably cares about you as a person, but that's it. He kept you around because he knew you would always be there, not because he had a burning desire for your company. I know it's so difficult to process the truth, but you've got to try to do it. He doesn't love you, he never did, he never will. He is the classic case of keeping someone around for his own reasons.