Author troubled soul Posted February 27, 2015 Author Share Posted February 27, 2015 Dramatic???? You are way in over your head and have NOT ONE CLUE. God help your family. That's another disconnect I have with my wife. She is into church and religion. She takes the kids to church. As I have aged I have questioned my christian upbringing, and no longer take an active interest in church or religion. But that's a whole other subject. Link to post Share on other sites
Rainbowlove Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 Do your wife a favor and divorce her now. She deserves better than what you are giving her. Don't tell her why you are leaving her, just do it. You seem to not grasp the power of your choices and how your betrayal ruins people and lives. Let her find a man she can count on. Let her find a man who will stand up and protect her, not tramp around and chase someone else's tail. Walk out on her and let her find real love. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Rainbowlove Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 That's another disconnect I have with my wife. She is into church and religion. She takes the kids to church. As I have aged I have questioned my christian upbringing, and no longer take an active interest in church or religion. But that's a whole other subject. This is part of your laundry list making excuses for your behavior. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
purplesorrow Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 I think if I caught her having an affair, I would almost certainly divorce her. I think it would probably haunt me too much for me to ever reconcile with her. I'm a pretty possessive person. I would feel like my property had been violated and it would be really tough for me to get over that. Give her the same option. She may not want to remain married to you know what you are capable of. She is not your property. What an azz. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Purepony Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 He doesn't get it! someone just update me when he gets caught and his life turns to crap 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Rainbowlove Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 It's pretty sad to see how one can become so blinded by the affair. I know I was blinded by the "love" of the affair...but I know for sure it hurt me to hurt my wife and son. I know I made a million excuses, but I also know I had compassion and angst for the choices I had made...and even though I wasn't strong enough to walk away from my affair until I was, I knew I was destroying everyone I ever loved including my XAP. This guy is cold as ice. He doesn't give a damn about his kids. He feels zero compassion for his wife. He is only concerned with himself. There is more to this man than having an affair. His username is troubled soul...but I'm wondering if he has a conscience or soul at all. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jm2013 Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 So here's the TLDR of this whole thread - You are currently wrapped up in an affair with a self centered tramp who has been cheating on her husband for over a decade. You seem to think you're better than the other guys. In reality she's probably actively screwing you, her husband and God knows how many other men all at the same time. She seems to really get enjoyment from any penis that is hard for her. - You do not love your wife but think she's your property and would not forgive her own affair but I think would hope she forgave yours to continue the laxed life you enjoy at home - The things your wife does seem to have an annoying affect on you like going to church and your kids being able to enjoy an nice clean atmosphere. It almost sounds as if you've brainwashed yourself and drove yourself in a polar opposite from what your wife does to live in this dark area you seem to enjoy. - You appear to carry more feelings for your AP than your own wife. Even knowing your AP is most likely banging other men apart from her own husband and you. You seem to be more jealous of your AP's actions for some reason. - At points you seem to exhibit "some" guilt and then wipe it all away with the next post. I think the only thing that's going to really make you feel guilt is when your poor wife discovers your affair and you shatter her world. You can sit back and watch how numb she gets and be able to take a deep look at what your actions have caused your poor wife and family. Your kids will later on carry much resentment for cheating them out of a whole family they would have wished they had after they find out dad was out screwing around on mom which led to a divorce. I think you really need to pay a counselor a visit to help you understand your internalized feelings. You had something go wrong somewhere and there's a huge disconnect. Hopefully your thread here will make you realize that your actions are extremely hurtful and will most likely terminate your marriage. You should envision your life without your wife and becoming an every other weekend father. Wake up every day and imagine that because that is where you are heading. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
truncated Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 It's pretty sad to see how one can become so blinded by the affair. I know I was blinded by the "love" of the affair...but I know for sure it hurt me to hurt my wife and son. I know I made a million excuses, but I also know I had compassion and angst for the choices I had made...and even though I wasn't strong enough to walk away from my affair until I was, I knew I was destroying everyone I ever loved including my XAP. This guy is cold as ice. He doesn't give a damn about his kids. He feels zero compassion for his wife. He is only concerned with himself. There is more to this man than having an affair. His username is troubled soul...but I'm wondering if he has a conscience or soul at all. Some people think kids are made out of rubber and that the troubles of the world will merely bounce off of them. I'm really glad you see that they don't. You have worked hard to make things right between you, your wife and your son, and in that, you have done something that will help counteract the damage. From this your son will learn that people can make mistakes and still find forgiveness and love between one another, and that anything worth having ( your marriage) is worth the effort you and your wife are putting into it. He will feel loved by you both and learn some valuable life lessons from this. In the case of situations like th op's , the damge he does to his children may not show up right away, but it will be like a slow acting poison, and I am not being overdramatic when I say that the long term effect that it ha on them may be extremely harmful. I know some people think he can hide hide this all from is wife and she will never know, but the reality is that his ow doesn; exactly sound like the most stable of people, and he will never know if or when she may decide to let his wife in on what's being going on. The fallout from that will be bad, really bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Rainbowlove Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 Some people think kids are made out of rubber and that the troubles of the world will merely bounce off of them. I'm really glad you see that they don't. You have worked hard to make things right between you, your wife and your son, and in that, you have done something that will help counteract the damage. From this your son will learn that people can make mistakes and still find forgiveness and love between one another, and that anything worth having ( your marriage) is worth the effort you and your wife are putting into it. He will feel loved by you both and learn some valuable life lessons from this. Thank you for saying all of the above. It's been a long road and we are not there yet, but we keep working at it. This morning, my little man was in the bathroom singing really loud and happy and content with his life. My wife and I were in the kitchen hugging and laughing and feeling joy through his joy. You know what they say, you don't know what you've got until it's gone. I'm am blessed to have not lost my family and I know it. Hopefully, OP wakes up before he loses his. Link to post Share on other sites
pheonixrisen Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 You have no clue ...destroying the lives of your loved ones is bang on.. Link to post Share on other sites
TexasMan68 Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 When was the last time you got checked for STD's? Whatever you do don't go bareback with this woman or you might end of regretting it. How would you explain to your wife how you have her herpes or something worse? Link to post Share on other sites
Author troubled soul Posted February 27, 2015 Author Share Posted February 27, 2015 My wife is such a good person. I do not deserve her. She's beautiful, blonde, petite, and sexy. Everywhere I go with her I can feel other guys watching her go by. She has a hot supper for me every night when I get home from work. She schools the kids and taxis them everywhere. She takes care of the yard, the house, the laundry, etc. I have no home responibilities, really. I just make the money and that's it. I really do have it made, I know I do. I almost have it too good. Maybe that's why I'm doing this. Because I know my wife is too damn good for me and I feel guilty about it. Hell, I'm all F'd up over this whole situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author troubled soul Posted February 27, 2015 Author Share Posted February 27, 2015 When was the last time you got checked for STD's? Whatever you do don't go bareback with this woman or you might end of regretting it. How would you explain to your wife how you have her herpes or something worse? I have not been checked. Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 I think if I caught her having an affair, I would almost certainly divorce her. I think it would probably haunt me too much for me to ever reconcile with her. I'm a pretty possessive person. I would feel like my property had been violated and it would be really tough for me to get over that. Woah, you view your W as your property and your OW as toxic but unable to stop it with her... You have some real issues to discuss with a professional. Add to the list your self destruction. Can you seek help? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 I have not been checked. Get checked. Your OW is an attention wh@re who most likely would respond to any man that shows her attention/ strokes her ego. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author troubled soul Posted February 27, 2015 Author Share Posted February 27, 2015 Woah, you view your W as your property and your OW as toxic but unable to stop it with her... You have some real issues to discuss with a professional. Add to the list your self destruction. Can you seek help? I think my "property" quote has been taken out of context. I did not mean to infer that my wife is property. I was making an analogy that I would feel like my property had been vandalized if my wife had an affair. That is all I meant by that. thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author troubled soul Posted February 27, 2015 Author Share Posted February 27, 2015 Get checked. Your OW is an attention wh@re who most likely would respond to any man that shows her attention/ strokes her ego. Is there a discreet place I can get checked? Obviously the family doc is not an option. Link to post Share on other sites
Rainbowlove Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 Maybe that's why I'm doing this. Because I know my wife is too damn good for me and I feel guilty about it. This is a cop out. Yes, she's too good for you. Yes, she deserves better. You are not screwing another woman because you know your wife is too good for you and you feel guilty. Bull Shyt. Get down to the nitty gritty here. This is all about you and not your wife. You are banging this OW b/c you feel alive. You feel desired. You feel sexy. You feel wanted. It's exciting. It's a high. It's a an escape from your life. You like feeling like a stud. How long have you been married? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 I think if I caught her having an affair, I would almost certainly divorce her. I think it would probably haunt me too much for me to ever reconcile with her. I'm a pretty possessive person. I would feel like my property had been violated and it would be really tough for me to get over that. Your posts are riddled with contradictions and irony but this one stands out. How would you judge her so harshly for doing what you're doing? Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author troubled soul Posted February 27, 2015 Author Share Posted February 27, 2015 This is all about you and not your wife. You are banging this OW b/c you feel alive. You feel desired. You feel sexy. You feel wanted. It's exciting. It's a high. It's a an escape from your life. You like feeling like a stud. How long have you been married? Agreed with the above statement. All true. Married 14 years. Together 19. Link to post Share on other sites
Author troubled soul Posted February 27, 2015 Author Share Posted February 27, 2015 Your posts are riddled with contradictions and irony but this one stands out. How would you judge her so harshly for doing what you're doing? Mr. Lucky I don't know why I would judge her so harshly. But the thought of her with another guy disgusts me. I'm sure she would feel the same about me with another woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Rainbowlove Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 Married 14 years. Together 19. This affair and OW is a ticking time bomb. You came here for help. You have received some really good advice from people who have walked in your shoes as the WS and who have had to deal with the fallout and emotional turmoil as the BS. The rest is up to you. End it. Get into counseling. Figure out why you would risk losing 19 years with your wife, your children, your dignity and self-worth. It's deeper than feeling sexy and alive again. It's not about this OW either. If you haven't, start researching affairs. Your battles have only just begun. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author troubled soul Posted February 27, 2015 Author Share Posted February 27, 2015 This affair and OW is a ticking time bomb. You came here for help. You have received some really good advice from people who have walked in your shoes as the WS and who have had to deal with the fallout and emotional turmoil as the BS. The rest is up to you. End it. Get into counseling. Figure out why you would risk losing 19 years with your wife, your children, your dignity and self-worth. It's deeper than feeling sexy and alive again. It's not about this OW either. If you haven't, start researching affairs. Your battles have only just begun. I am going to look into getting some counseling. But not interested in telling my wife. Probably never, but for sure not at this time. I think alot of the comments have been made show that I need deeper help because of my particular situation. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
jm2013 Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 If you're worried about going to your family dr I'd suggest using an online lab to get your stuff done. You pay, walk into a lab, get tested then view your results online. You can do it discreetly. I think you owe it to your wife to see if you could have given something to her. STD Testing - Fast & Private Testing | STD Test Express Link to post Share on other sites
Casa Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 (edited) You will NEVER reconcile without honesty. Honesty equals no intimacy. Do forget it. I saw mm today... He looks like sht he's not being honest and believe me.... he Will NEVER be happy because of that.... No honesty absolutely No intimacy Edited February 27, 2015 by Casa 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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