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Ladies: Dating men who have had 'FWB'

RedRobin

By RedRobin
in Dating

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Pompeii Established Member

Pompeii

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No women I know would agree to go along with that arrangement...

 

"Just because you don't see something, doesn't mean it doesn't exist."

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Pompeii Established Member

Pompeii

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People will think you're gay if you never had sex with a woman. Even your own family member will wonder.

 

Yeah, I've been there.

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ffw Established Member

ffw

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Hello? How do you know he wants you to forgive for his past? The past is the past where you weren't no where near him.

I don't know for most guys but for me I'm very upfront and honest. I would not waste my time convincing anyone.

 

It puzzles me how you get more than one date the way you think and act. It's not something a mentally healthy man would want to continue with. You're just looking for things that might be even there.

 

Try to think from RR's point of view. Will you date a girl who had FWB relationships? If you do, how will you be sure that you are exclusive? She may or may not follow her former ways of living.

 

If it doesn't bother you, then it's great. But for RR it would. Everyone has their own values, ideas & point of view. Life goes on.

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joystickd Established Member

joystickd

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Try to think from RR's point of view. Will you date a girl who had FWB relationships? If you do, how will you be sure that you are exclusive? She may or may not follow her former ways of living.

 

If it doesn't bother you, then it's great. But for RR it would. Everyone has their own values, ideas & point of view. Life goes on.

How will you be sure? You actually have that conversation about being exclusive. It's open season if you haven't discussed it. The ironic thing is she talks about men judging a woman's past but she is doing the same thing.

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SunsetRed Established Member

SunsetRed

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To be perfectly honest, I do admire and respect RedRobin for knowing what she wants and for standing up for what she wants instead of settling.

 

I have had a couple of FWB situations that seemed healthier than some of the relationships Ive been in, but then again, maybe if I were a healthier person, I'd find a healthy relationship.

 

So good luck to you RedRobin. I'm sure you will attract a good person who is a relationship match for you.

ffw Established Member

ffw

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How will you be sure? You actually have that conversation about being exclusive. It's open season if you haven't discussed it.

 

Conversation? Action speaks louder than words, my friend.

 

 

If she's worried having sex with a guy because he might no be exclusive or just using for sex it's simple don't have sex until marriage, that would weed them out a lot easier.

 

Are you really suggesting this idea? According to the LS thread's, guy's way of knowing a girl's interest is having physical intimacy within few dates. Can you wait for years or even months?

joystickd Established Member

joystickd

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Conversation? Action speaks louder than words, my friend.

 

 

 

Are you really suggesting this idea? According to the LS thread's, guy's way of knowing a girl's interest is having physical intimacy within few dates. Can you wait for years or even months?

Hell no! That waiting for months s**t is for suckers. You wait while she getting the d**k down from someone else. It happens plenty of times out here.

 

Actions do speak louder than words that is why she got to have sex.

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KaterinaVon Member

KaterinaVon

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You aren't implying that she is somehow justified are you? She is simply a nut job and the great majority of women are nothing like her.

 

No one is justified to kill someone just because they used you for sex, but didn't want to marry you. That doesn't mean that someone won't get upset enough to the point where they could harm you. Point is, you are playing with someone's feelings and that's dangerous because you never know what the person is capable of.

joystickd Established Member

joystickd

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Of course I can since I didn't start having sex until the age of 31. I haven't had sex in a decade. I could have had sex with women but i choose not to. I'm not most guys and if a woman doesn't believe what I say it's too bad. If someone doesn't trust me then I walk away. Same if I don't trust someone I walk away. Without trust there is no future.

 

People make things more complicated than it seems. A guy that truly loves a woman will wait for sex.

Let that love comfort you when you find out she out here with another guy while you are "waiting". I don't have a problem waiting up until a month. That is it and I am funny about that because how do know she is truly into me. It's like ffw said Actions speak louder than words.

joystickd Established Member

joystickd

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Conversation? Action speaks louder than words, my friend.

Yes conversation I mean people do that these days right. That way it changes from me waiting to have sex with her to we both waiting until a certain time because we are exclusive. Why does he have to go through hoops and she does nothing? Kind of unfair there don't you think

joystickd Established Member

joystickd

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No one is justified to kill someone just because they used you for sex, but didn't want to marry you. That doesn't mean that someone won't get upset enough to the point where they could harm you. Point is, you are playing with someone's feelings and that's dangerous because you never know what the person is capable of.

No matter how you rationalize it you are defending murder. Shame!!!

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Pompeii Established Member

Pompeii

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Conversation? Action speaks louder than words, my friend.

 

If the conversation isn't had, when things go south down the line, I don't want to be hit with: "well, you didn't say we were exclusive".

ffw Established Member

ffw

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If the conversation isn't had, when things go south down the line, I don't want to be hit with: "well, you didn't say we were exclusive".

 

 

I know what you mean. Since this is not my thread, I am going to quote RR's point of view. For other questions only OP can give reply.

 

 

I'm not concluding that people who have had FWB in the past are incapable of committing in the future.

 

I'm concerned that someone who still thinks this is ok is not capable of commitment... at least for long. I'm concerned that he will slide into his former way of doing things and find a way to justify it... even if it started out being loving and caring.

salparadise Established Member

salparadise

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I'm guessing this is no different than finding out that someone had addiction issues or had some other behavior you didn't approve of after you started dating... and then had to break things off.

 

Or their credit report or criminal background check had blemishes?

kassy Established Member

kassy

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Haven't read the whole thread.

 

Just wanted to say, I find this thread amazing. Seriously if two consensual adults want to have sex but don't want a relationship how does this make them comparable to drug addicts????

 

I had a **** buddy briefly, great guy we got on really well, sex was amazing. We didn't click to the level that made either of us want to date each other. Typically we went out for dinner went home had fun and then had breakfast in bed in the morning. It wasn't for me long term, but we parted ways amicably and he's a great guy. A girl would be crazy not to date him, if they wanted to date each other. He would be super loyal and is very good at communication. And sex lol.

 

He also went to an Ivy League law school, speaks 3 languages, is a successful lawyer and is involved a really great charity working with the lowest socio-economic group. So yeah... What a douche... Basically a drug addict....

 

But I agree it's just different values and you stood firm to yours. So fair play. I just think you are making very strange conclusions from the information you are given. Still can't get past the drug addict comment... I wanted to get laid with someone I liked, had fun with and trusted. I really can't see any reason anyone should apologise for that.

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therhythm Established Member

therhythm

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I think you are awesome. I like you. The world needs more girls like you.

 

Looks like my buddy therhythm and his buddies are ruling the roost here. I am worried about the well-being of this website now.

 

Yes... I am the devil :bunny:

The Shepherd Established Member

The Shepherd

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Yes... I am the devil :bunny:

Care to see me at the gym sometime over the next week and talk to me? I need to talk to you.

therhythm Established Member

therhythm

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Care to see me at the gym sometime over the next week and talk to me? I need to talk to you.

 

I am sorry but I am very busy... living the rest of my life how I like to live it!;)

By the way I am not going to report you but it is against the board guidelines to ask for meetings or personal information here.

The Shepherd Established Member

The Shepherd

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I am sorry but I am very busy... living the rest of my life how I like to live it!;)

By the way I am not going to report you but it is against the board guidelines to ask for meetings or personal information here.

 

I have no complaints against you and thanks for deciding not to report me, but the other day I thought you were trying to have a better look at me at the gym, so I thought maybe it's time we said hello to each other.

therhythm Established Member

therhythm

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I have no complaints against you and thanks for deciding not to report me, but the other day I thought you were trying to have a better look at me at the gym, so I thought maybe it's time we said hello to each other.

 

Whatever mr. nutcase... welcome to my ignore list!;)

The Shepherd Established Member

The Shepherd

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Whatever mr. nutcase... welcome to my ignore list!;)

Well...thanks. That's the problem with you people.

therhythm Established Member

therhythm

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Haven't read the whole thread.

 

Just wanted to say, I find this thread amazing. Seriously if two consensual adults want to have sex but don't want a relationship how does this make them comparable to drug addicts????

 

I had a **** buddy briefly, great guy we got on really well, sex was amazing. We didn't click to the level that made either of us want to date each other. Typically we went out for dinner went home had fun and then had breakfast in bed in the morning. It wasn't for me long term, but we parted ways amicably and he's a great guy. A girl would be crazy not to date him, if they wanted to date each other. He would be super loyal and is very good at communication. And sex lol.

 

He also went to an Ivy League law school, speaks 3 languages, is a successful lawyer and is involved a really great charity working with the lowest socio-economic group. So yeah... What a douche... Basically a drug addict....

 

But I agree it's just different values and you stood firm to yours. So fair play. I just think you are making very strange conclusions from the information you are given. Still can't get past the drug addict comment... I wanted to get laid with someone I liked, had fun with and trusted. I really can't see any reason anyone should apologise for that.

 

^^^^^^100% in agreement^^^^ I would love to be able to like it 100 times!

shaz2013 New Member

shaz2013

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As long as you keep looking to this from the women's only and unique perspective you will never understand it.

Don't get me wrong, I think you are right to date or not anyone basing your choice in whatever you want to base it. But to say that someone that has FWB is afraid from commitment is very wrong to say the least.

 

If you allow me I will put the things from the male perspective, Men do not need to love someone to have sex with her, we don't actually need even a big attraction if it gets to the case we can have sex easily with someone we don't like and we are only slightly attracted to her (shocking I know but is the true!) Therefore most of the FWB arrangements you see are just guys securing sex with someone they are not attracted enough or they don't like as a person enough for a relationship or they don't find her compatible with them... that doesn't mean that that concrete man can't commit if the right woman get in his way.

 

I hope this gives you some clarity on male behavior;)

 

Not all men have such low standards to have sex with someone they dont like and mildly attracted to and sorry that would put me off.

therhythm Established Member

therhythm

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;)

Not all men have such low standards to have sex with someone they dont like and mildly attracted to and sorry that would put me off.

 

Yes, I am speaking about the majority of us "men", not included in the batch the higher standards guys, white knights, and prince charming. (around 0.1% of the whole men population).

 

By the way, is funny that your first post ever in this board is about this topic and about a message I posted yesterday (a couple of pages ago in this thread)... why do I have the feeling that someone just made up a new account to skip my ignoring list? Welcome again to my ignoring list The Shepherd

Edited by therhythm
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RedRobin Established Member

RedRobin

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Yes conversation I mean people do that these days right. That way it changes from me waiting to have sex with her to we both waiting until a certain time because we are exclusive. Why does he have to go through hoops and she does nothing? Kind of unfair there don't you think

 

You assume that it is easy for her to wait as well...

 

Again, it is clear you don't value women's time and effort it takes for her to get to know you too... When I'm getting to know a man, I'm not just sitting there having him do all the work. AND... if he is getting to know me, it will become obvious pretty damn quick that I'm not out having sex with another guy while I'm getting to know him.

 

See... I don't date men that I'm not really interested in... oh, but lots of men will absolutely date a woman they aren't really interested in... and for quite a long time. The guy I'm talking about has already demonstrated that he does.

 

It's THOSE men I'm seeking to eliminate. And ya know what... I think I'm doing pretty darn good so far.

  • Like 1
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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