LostOne1 Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 G*d I'm just sick of these emotions. Same as you. Cant wait until we both post we couldn't give a sh*t for our exs. When the hell do our brains totally catch up with reality and sluff this off as a battle we lost? Another 3 months, 6 months, 1 year?...god i hope not. I must be terrible at break ups.. but my last one took me about 1 year to get over it for the most part. But after I was over her I got REALLY lonely. I missed having a gf and just having someone to call my own. So I lucked out and met my current ex and it was the weirdest way I met her. I had known her from years back, but we never had talked much then. So this time I had the guts to ask her out and it went from there and it HELPED me get over my ex. In fact I think it helped her get over her ex too. Because we found what we wanted in a relationship from each other. Sadly with time things changed I think and she wanted more back and I didn't put in muche ffort after awhile. I kinda stopped loving myself and lost myself with school failures and general stress I was lazy too. And that took me down and I lost a lot and her and my grandma. So this one I think will take AT LEAST a year to heal and probably a bit longer. Although this time I don't PLAN on asking any girl out anymore. I find love is so painful you NEED to be strong to go for it. I failed this time and it hurt a lot. The worst part is it takes a lot to heal from this for some people. I suppose I am on of those people that survives, but it takes me awhile to see life for what it is.. in fact my last breakup I went on a 2 month vacation in a 3rd world country. I think coming back it gave me A LOT of confidence and respect for others out there. After I got back I was on FIRE with school topping out. That's when I met my ex and after a year I started going down hill. So for healing time.. it will take AS LONG as it NEEDS to be. I would say a year is fairly good enough to at least feel like you can live without the person and most of the feelings are a bit settled down. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted January 8, 2013 Author Share Posted January 8, 2013 Well I woke up this morning thinking of her. It was weird, I was having an argument with her in my head. Not sure what this means. It probably doesn't mean anything, but I like to think that it's a good sign for me moving on. I didn't wake up feeling sorry for myself. Instead I woke up a little pissed off. It already pisses me off that she's really moved on and she's really done with me. Seeing those pictures of her happy. It made me sick. Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 Wow a year? I'm at 6 months and been ready for at least a month or two to date just haven't found anyone. It would of been much sooner if I didn't have to learn a lot of lessons the tough way and she wasn't right next door. I let myself have a while because it was my first real BU but after this I won't. I see in future BU's maybe a week to feel sorry for myself before getting on with my life and finding someone new. No one is worth putting your life on hold and being miserable over. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted January 8, 2013 Author Share Posted January 8, 2013 I'm willing to take as long as I need to heal. I feel like I'm right there, but can't completely pull through. It's like a kid who finds out that Santa isn't real. They don't want to believe it. I feel that's me. I don't want to believe that it's really over. Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 I'm willing to take as long as I need to heal. I feel like I'm right there, but can't completely pull through. It's like a kid who finds out that Santa isn't real. They don't want to believe it. I feel that's me. I don't want to believe that it's really over. It's your first time take all you need, do whatever you need to heal I did the same. I'm talking for future break ups, I'm not going to let them bother me like this one did. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted January 8, 2013 Author Share Posted January 8, 2013 It's your first time take all you need, do whatever you need to heal I did the same. I'm talking for future break ups, I'm not going to let them bother me like this one did. I just hate it... I realize that it's over but it doesn't make it feel any better. Like she's really gone. She's really been gone. and she's really never coming back. Those pictures I saw of her with her friends were scarring lol. Link to post Share on other sites
LostOne1 Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 It's your first time take all you need, do whatever you need to heal I did the same. I'm talking for future break ups, I'm not going to let them bother me like this one did. I agree. It's the same for me as na49. It's the first BU where I had control. My last BU my ex vanished away into another country. I had no contact with her and this was before we both used FB. In this case it's different my ex lives VERY close to me, now sadly we go to the same school (and I already crashed into her on the first day of classes ysterday), we went to the same high school for a year, etc.. etc.. So for me this break up was a lot harder. It was the first time I was willing to introduce a girl to my family and talk about marriage. So for me I KNOW it will take awhile to fully heal. But I am at a point where I don't need to beg now nor do I hate her. I do still want to emotionally hurt her though to a point where she can see me with another girl. I want her to know how it feels to lose someone. I know she wouldn't bear the thought of me being with someone else even if she acts like she's okay. Link to post Share on other sites
LostOne1 Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 I just hate it... I realize that it's over but it doesn't make it feel any better. Like she's really gone. She's really been gone. and she's really never coming back. Those pictures I saw of her with her friends were scarring lol. And worse of it is yet... that we have to see our ex's still in person at school and KNOW it's over and that we stare or ignore each other. No more talking or walking rushing towards them for a hug or kiss. It's like we have to pretend they are total strangers like we never met them ever and like we don't know ANYTHING about them. I know some VERY personal stuff about my ex and it's tough to know these things and see her and know ONLY I know this stuff and now I have to pretend or fake it that I don't know **** about her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted January 8, 2013 Author Share Posted January 8, 2013 And worse of it is yet... that we have to see our ex's still in person at school and KNOW it's over and that we stare or ignore each other. No more talking or walking rushing towards them for a hug or kiss. It's like we have to pretend they are total strangers like we never met them ever and like we don't know ANYTHING about them. I know some VERY personal stuff about my ex and it's tough to know these things and see her and know ONLY I know this stuff and now I have to pretend or fake it that I don't know **** about her. This post screams reality. It sucks... It's the same for me. I know some personal crap about her. She knows personal crap about me. We have to act like complete strangers and be cold towards one another because we aren't together. I f*cking hate when I think about how we'll never walk to class together and walk around campus holding hands. I miss that so much... Damn. I know she wasn't all that, but when it was good it was great with her. Now it's just horrible. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted January 9, 2013 Author Share Posted January 9, 2013 Yuck. I'm thinking about how I may have been able to get her back if I fought for her harder than I did. Why do I think that if I begged like a b*tch she would've taken me back? She freaking cheated on me. She's still talking to the guy. I saw it myself on her twitter. She retweets everything he tweets, they must be a match made in heaven. She's probably so glad she found him. He's really treating her right. Her new friends know her SOOOOO much better than I did. The only thing I did wrong was trust this person. And there she is tweeting crap about "I should've never trusted you" and "I want to be fought for" What a bunch of nonsense. Why fight for someone who doesn't want you anyway? The crap she tweets in her head all sounds so right to her. Like I was such a bad guy, and she's so much better off. I pretty much got really mad at her after finding out what she did. Insulted her friends, asking if they were all 5 years old or they just act like it? I probably gave them too much credit, that's just low. She's all about not judging people. Yet she lets her friends judge me based on (how convienient) only negative things she tells them when she's mad at me. Pay no attention to the fact that I'm pretty much your b*tch and did anything and everything I could to make you happy. As far as I was concerned, I was doing a great job. You're a good liar, you led me on right until you cut me out completely. Those fake tears on the phone were so phony it was ridiculous. Right after you get done telling me how much I suck. You hang up. Bye. The fact that she let them do that and encouraged them just makes me sick. A lot of things about her make me sick now. :sick: OOOO MAN! I have no idea where that came from but it felt good. Link to post Share on other sites
Allumere Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 G*d I'm just sick of these emotions. Same as you. Cant wait until we both post we couldn't give a sh*t for our exs. When the hell do our brains totally catch up with reality and sluff this off as a battle we lost? Another 3 months, 6 months, 1 year?...god i hope not. I'm with ya.....dated 6/7 months and have been broken up longer. he has moved on and has his perfect little GF and family and is all happy and still I cant move on completely...it is pain in the ass. Link to post Share on other sites
Coping Vortex Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 Well I woke up this morning thinking of her. It was weird, I was having an argument with her in my head. Not sure what this means. It probably doesn't mean anything, but I like to think that it's a good sign for me moving on. I didn't wake up feeling sorry for myself. Instead I woke up a little pissed off. It already pisses me off that she's really moved on and she's really done with me. Seeing those pictures of her happy. It made me sick. Dude I soooooooooo relate. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted January 9, 2013 Author Share Posted January 9, 2013 As I sit here playing video games, I just thought of something. Maybe someone can give me some insight. Do they know how hurt we are? Do they know that they broke our heart? Did they consider it when they made their choice to leave us? Do they think that we have moved on from them like we know that they've moved on from us? I had a few more questions, but can't think of them right now Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 As I sit here playing video games, I just thought of something. Maybe someone can give me some insight. Do they know how hurt we are? Do they know that they broke our heart? Did they consider it when they made their choice to leave us? Do they think that we have moved on from them like we know that they've moved on from us? I had a few more questions, but can't think of them right now Does it matter? I'm sure it's like anything else, some are probably sad about it, some probably feel bad that they hurt the other person, some are happy to have freedom and some don't really care. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted January 9, 2013 Author Share Posted January 9, 2013 Does it matter? I'm sure it's like anything else, some are probably sad about it, some probably feel bad that they hurt the other person, some are happy to have freedom and some don't really care. well i'd love to know if my ex knows how she hurt me. i know that she doesnt care but does she realize it? Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 well i'd love to know if my ex knows how she hurt me. i know that she doesnt care but does she realize it? Seems irrelevant to me. Whether or not she realizes it or not doesn't change the fact that she hurt you. I don't get what that can possibly give you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted January 9, 2013 Author Share Posted January 9, 2013 Seems irrelevant to me. Whether or not she realizes it or not doesn't change the fact that she hurt you. I don't get what that can possibly give you. Well if someone does something wrong, I like when they know that they did something wrong. Acknowledge it and feel like crap about it. The idea that she gets to go on feeling great about it. Her "friends" will all have her back. Like nothing she was wrong, like how my feelings didn't matter in all of this and how she's "so much better off" is just annoying is all. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 Well if someone does something wrong, I like when they know that they did something wrong. Acknowledge it and feel like crap about it. The idea that she gets to go on feeling great about it. Her "friends" will all have her back. Like nothing she was wrong, like how my feelings didn't matter in all of this and how she's "so much better off" is just annoying is all. Once again, it doesn't matter. What she feels either way doesn't matter. What matters is how you feel. And how you feel should have nothing to do with how she feels. Her feelings are not important. You are putting her feelings and her perceptions above yours still. Stop doing that. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 Okay, you really need to stop thinking about her and start thinking about making positive changes in your life. When do you go back to school? Link to post Share on other sites
Harradin Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 It gets better once you go back, I went back on Monday and the busy day kept me occupied. I seem to get it all combined at night though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted January 9, 2013 Author Share Posted January 9, 2013 How I feel shouldn't have anything to do with how she feels. but I would feel better if she felt guilty and at least knew that she hurt me. I realize I'll never get an apology from her, she doesn't think she did anything wrong apparently. (how annoying..) I go back in two weeks. Working like I did today helps me to take my mind off of things for a little while. I'm sure going back will help me, as long as I don't walk around scared of seeing her. Which I feel like will still happen. The thought of seeing her with her friends, maybe her new guy all sitting around laughing just sucks. I'm hoping I won't see her. The longer I go without seeing her, the better I feel. I had a setback earlier this week when I saw the pictures of her and her friends. Link to post Share on other sites
LostOne1 Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 How I feel shouldn't have anything to do with how she feels. but I would feel better if she felt guilty and at least knew that she hurt me. I realize I'll never get an apology from her, she doesn't think she did anything wrong apparently. (how annoying..) I go back in two weeks. Working like I did today helps me to take my mind off of things for a little while. I'm sure going back will help me, as long as I don't walk around scared of seeing her. Which I feel like will still happen. The thought of seeing her with her friends, maybe her new guy all sitting around laughing just sucks. I'm hoping I won't see her. The longer I go without seeing her, the better I feel. I had a setback earlier this week when I saw the pictures of her and her friends. But I also think seeing them over and over again could be a good thing? I mean wouldn't it make us immune to it after awhile? Well I guess we need to have moved on first to have no feelings and it would be easier... maybe... Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 But I also think seeing them over and over again could be a good thing? I mean wouldn't it make us immune to it after awhile? Well I guess we need to have moved on first to have no feelings and it would be easier... maybe... Yes you do become immune to it. I can see my ex and feel absolutely nothing. I guess it's bound to happen seeing them almost daily. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted January 9, 2013 Author Share Posted January 9, 2013 Yes you do become immune to it. I can see my ex and feel absolutely nothing. I guess it's bound to happen seeing them almost daily. Well I know that only being a freshman I'll always run the risk of seeing her on campus for the next 4 years, and I'll also run the risk of seeing her with another guy. I guess I'll have to become immune to it eventually, it's really the only way for me. She's not coming back to me, so she'll date other guys throughout college. That's her right. I'd rather not see her at all though.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted January 10, 2013 Author Share Posted January 10, 2013 I just want her to feel a little heart broken in all of this. She's really freaking done. She's really been done. I hate that so much! Link to post Share on other sites
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