Author na49 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Share Posted January 7, 2013 We're all human - it happens. Just do what you can to move forward and make yourself happy! I don't feel as guilty as I thought I would. Her life didn't stop after she dumped me. and it hasn't stopped after I ignored her attempts at friendship. Just have to keep moving.. If I could rewind, I wouldn't have checked but I was going crazy with "what ifs" She's gone. She's been gone. She's a cheater. F*ck her and her new guy. He'll break her heart and throw her into the friend zone once he finds a better looking girl who isn't as crazy as she is. I think I'm happy that at least I didn't unblock her on facebook. I feel like I would have seen more destructive things on there. Her twitter picture was of just her, no other guy. No tweets about how great any guy is but she retweeted a lot of his tweets. She also had a lot of relationship related tweets. I read some of them and just laughed. Hating myself. but what's done is done. Link to post Share on other sites
XKatieX Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 I don't feel as guilty as I thought I would. Her life didn't stop after she dumped me. and it hasn't stopped after I ignored her attempts at friendship. Just have to keep moving.. If I could rewind, I wouldn't have checked but I was going crazy with "what ifs" She's gone. She's been gone. She's a cheater. F*ck her and her new guy. He'll break her heart and throw her into the friend zone once he finds a better looking girl who isn't as crazy as she is. I think I'm happy that at least I didn't unblock her on facebook. I feel like I would have seen more destructive things on there. Her twitter picture was of just her, no other guy. No tweets about how great any guy is but she retweeted a lot of his tweets. She also had a lot of relationship related tweets. I read some of them and just laughed. Hating myself. but what's done is done. Don't hate yourself. She will go and do the same to this new guy or he will do it to her. This new guy already has a reason not to trust her, she left you for him. If this doesn't say red flag, I don't know what does... I know you say you miss her, but honestly being with her would never feel the same, that hurt and distrust would never go away. Link to post Share on other sites
Missing Him Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 If there's one thing I've discovered, it's that there's a learning curve to life. I've found that a lot of the "dos and donts" of breakups are things that you need to actually experience. And then once you experience it, you know how to handle it better later. Checking her twitter wasn't a set-back on your part, it was just part of the process. You sound like you're in a good place about moving forward, though. Keep telling yourself you're better off without her, whether you believe it or not. Eventually, you'll believe it for real and you won't have to think about it anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
NewPerspective93 Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Yeah, don't put so much hate on yourself. Well, at least the itch is cured. Time to move on and get on with your life; without her. Best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Share Posted January 7, 2013 Don't hate yourself. She will go and do the same to this new guy or he will do it to her. This new guy already has a reason not to trust her, she left you for him. If this doesn't say red flag, I don't know what does... I know you say you miss her, but honestly being with her would never feel the same, that hurt and distrust would never go away. Yeah that's true. I honestly am not even sure if they're together. When I was still talking to her she told me that they tried a relationship for a week and fought 3 times and that he just wanted to be her friend. Doesn't look like she's giving up though. She retweeted everything he tweets and has long conversations with him on twitter. No lovey dovey stuff which is surprising because her twitter was all about me when we were together. I also saw a picture of her with her friends. It made me want to throw up. I really want to try not to dwell on this. I got every answer that I need. She's not miserable. She doesn't care THAT much if I stay in her life or not based on the fact she had no problem kicking me out three months ago. I just wish moving on would be a bit easier than it has been. I was able to stay strong for such a long time. Damn. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Share Posted January 7, 2013 If there's one thing I've discovered, it's that there's a learning curve to life. I've found that a lot of the "dos and donts" of breakups are things that you need to actually experience. And then once you experience it, you know how to handle it better later. Checking her twitter wasn't a set-back on your part, it was just part of the process. You sound like you're in a good place about moving forward, though. Keep telling yourself you're better off without her, whether you believe it or not. Eventually, you'll believe it for real and you won't have to think about it anymore. I guess I feel better about it when I think of it like that. I know checking her facebook would be much worse for me and I didn't do that. I just needed to see it for myself. That she is done with me. That she has been done with me. and that she's telling herself the same things I'm telling myself. "Oh he's a jerk. I'm better off without him. He never treated me right" blah blah blah Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Of all the possible screwups you could have done, this is probably the most minor. Don't feel bad dude. Hopefully this pushes you forward a bit and gets the reunification stuff you had in your head out of your system. You now know that she wasn't looking to reconcile and eventually you'll build up enough moxie to know that you don't want to reconcile with a cheater in the first place. But yeah dude, not the end of the world by any means. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Share Posted January 7, 2013 Of all the possible screwups you could have done, this is probably the most minor. Don't feel bad dude. Hopefully this pushes you forward a bit and gets the reunification stuff you had in your head out of your system. You now know that she wasn't looking to reconcile and eventually you'll build up enough moxie to know that you don't want to reconcile with a cheater in the first place. But yeah dude, not the end of the world by any means. Haha to think that I wanted to message her. I feel so much better about blocking her and telling her to leave me alone now. You've been telling me from the beginning that I shouldn't want anything to do with this person. Seeing her still makes me sick. (no joke, I actually felt sick when I saw a picture of her) It's not the end of the world. If this is able to get rid of those thoughts, then I'll be glad I did it. Considering I could have done much worse to learn the same result. It's a little annoying to think that she's thinking that I'm the bad guy in all of this. Oh well, everyone's a critic these days. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Haha to think that I wanted to message her. I feel so much better about blocking her and telling her to leave me alone now. You've been telling me from the beginning that I shouldn't want anything to do with this person. Seeing her still makes me sick. (no joke, I actually felt sick when I saw a picture of her) It's not the end of the world. If this is able to get rid of those thoughts, then I'll be glad I did it. Considering I could have done much worse to learn the same result. It's a little annoying to think that she's thinking that I'm the bad guy in all of this. Oh well, everyone's a critic these days. The moment you don't give a s--t what she thinks will be a good one for you. So she thinks you are the bad guy. Good, let her. No skin off your back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Share Posted January 7, 2013 The moment you don't give a s--t what she thinks will be a good one for you. So she thinks you are the bad guy. Good, let her. No skin off your back. I can't wait until I get there. This is honestly tiresome. I hope that those unrealistic thoughts of her wanting to reconcile will be gone now. I don't think I need to see her sucking on another dude's face to realize she doesn't want me anymore. I can do the math and figure it out for myself. I should also figure that I shouldn't want her. Once a cheater always a cheater and why do I need extra stress at college? hopefully. Can't help but feel curious about taking a peek at her facebook now... lol this is so poisonous. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 I can't wait until I get there. This is honestly tiresome. I hope that those unrealistic thoughts of her wanting to reconcile will be gone now. I don't think I need to see her sucking on another dude's face to realize she doesn't want me anymore. I can do the math and figure it out for myself. I should also figure that I shouldn't want her. Once a cheater always a cheater and why do I need extra stress at college? hopefully. Can't help but feel curious about taking a peek at her facebook now... lol this is so poisonous. Don't do it dude. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Share Posted January 7, 2013 Don't do it dude. I know, not as curious as I was before checking her twitter. All in all, what I saw wasn't that hurtful. A lot of relationship related tweets about how she wants someone who loves her and wants someone who will fight for her. It was tough for me to read that stuff and think it wasn't directed at me. But it wasn't directed at me. There was also a lot of stuff about "moving on" and "the new her" also lots of retweets from her new knight in shining armor. It's annoying that she's living life without me and is perfectly fine doing it. Now all I have to do is mimic that. It should be a little easier now, knowing she's done with me and has been done with me. So I'm not grasping at straws anymore. The texts were all friend zone and for her to relieve her guilt. Nothing that had anything to do with me. Still frustrating to think about, so I'm trying not to think about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Coping Vortex Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 The last that I looked at my ex's FB page she still had a pic of me and her and none with her new guy. Of course that could change at anytime. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Share Posted January 7, 2013 The last that I looked at my ex's FB page she still had a pic of me and her and none with her new guy. Of course that could change at anytime. My ex made it a point to change her profile picture even before officially breaking up with me. You could imagine how upset that made me. Regardless, I didn't see a picture of her with another guy so that was good. Seeing new pictures of her and her friends out having fun hurt like a b*tch though. So seeing her with a new guy would obviously kill me inside. I think that what I learned yesterday caused me a minor setback. Seeing that her life is continuing, she's still talking to the guy she cheated on me for. She's still meeting new people. She's still going out with her friends. She's still breathing, eating, and isn't hung up over me. She hasn't been hung up over me, and never was. Finding this out hurts. To think that she's really over me. But in the long term, if it gets rid of any ideas that I had that she wanted to reconcile, I have to see this short term hurt as a help for my long term plan of getting over her. Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 G*d I'm just sick of these emotions. Same as you. Cant wait until we both post we couldn't give a sh*t for our exs. When the hell do our brains totally catch up with reality and sluff this off as a battle we lost? Another 3 months, 6 months, 1 year?...god i hope not. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Share Posted January 7, 2013 G*d I'm just sick of these emotions. Same as you. Cant wait until we both post we couldn't give a sh*t for our exs. When the hell do our brains totally catch up with reality and sluff this off as a battle we lost? Another 3 months, 6 months, 1 year?...god i hope not. I like to think I'm getting a little better every day. Look at where you are now and where you were maybe a month or two ago. Seeing what I saw last night definitely helped my brain convince my heart that it's over. That she's perfectly fine living life without me. It hurts like hell but nothing I do can bring the old her back. I look at her now and feel sick to my stomach. I couldn't stomach looking at the picture of her and her friends. It made me sick. It didn't make me think "I wish I could date her again" It's annoying to think that she thinks that I'm the bad guy in all of this. That she's "so much better off without me". It's a real shot to my ego. It can't get me down. If she's better off without me. Great! I'll be better off without her too. (...hopefully?) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Well, now you know that her life is going on without you. That she's having the time of her life and not wallowing and curled up in the fetal position on her bed crying her eyes out because you're not in her life. Okay, you got confirmation. Now, it's time for you to have a fun and full life. Time for you to move on and have some fun. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Share Posted January 7, 2013 Well, now you know that her life is going on without you. That she's having the time of her life and not wallowing and curled up in the fetal position on her bed crying her eyes out because you're not in her life. Okay, you got confirmation. Now, it's time for you to have a fun and full life. Time for you to move on and have some fun. Amen to that. It hurts to think that it doesn't matter to her, but it is what it is. Nothing I can do about it now. I just have to do me and become more satisfied with my single life. I feel like I should be able to move on now. I won't be able to hear from her anymore because her number's blocked which means no setbacks. I don't have any questions on her motives for anything because I got all of the confirmation that I needed last night. As long as I stay strong and don't look at her facebook, I won't set myself back there. I shouldn't see her once school starts. (not sure what to do if I actually do see her though. thoughts?) So we should pretty much disappear from each other's lives for good now. Kind of sad to think about it considering how close we were before and how now we want nothing to do with each other. It's hard to think that she's going to live the college life. Get with other dudes and not care about me at all. That's how it goes, she made a choice. It wasn't me. Have to keep going. (and keep posting here ) Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 . It's hard to think that she's going to live the college life. Get with other dudes and not care about me at all. That's how it goes, she made a choice. It wasn't me. Have to keep going. (and keep posting here ) That's what YOU should be saying about YOUR life. You're in College, right? You need to make the most of your college experience. You need to go out and meet other girls. You need to get involved in other projects, clubs and events (and it also a great way to meet other girls). You should look forward to flirting with other girls (never got to do that while you were in a relationship!). You got a lot to look forward to. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Share Posted January 7, 2013 That's what YOU should be saying about YOUR life. You're in College, right? You need to make the most of your college experience. You need to go out and meet other girls. You need to get involved in other projects, clubs and events (and it also a great way to meet other girls). You should look forward to flirting with other girls (never got to do that while you were in a relationship!). You got a lot to look forward to. That's true. I do have a lot to look forward to. Putting myself out there is a must for me right now. I can't stay in my shell and be afraid of what people might think. This is a problem that I have that I need to fix. Link to post Share on other sites
Coping Vortex Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Na49 you are still very young and have a lot of living to do. When you get older you will find the situation gets sticky as you may get married possibly divorced and then have to try date people with baggage your own and others. Feel good that you can move on from this without the baggage some of us older folks have to deal with. You could have many more relationships before you settle down. Look at as an exciting time in your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Share Posted January 7, 2013 Na49 you are still very young and have a lot of living to do. When you get older you will find the situation gets sticky as you may get married possibly divorced and then have to try date people with baggage your own and others. Feel good that you can move on from this without the baggage some of us older folks have to deal with. You could have many more relationships before you settle down. Look at as an exciting time in your life. I'll try to look at it like this. It's just that since I know how great it felt to be in a relationship. I feel like I'm missing something because I'm not. I'm coming to terms with the fact that it's really over now. It hurts like hell to know that her life keeps going but it has. I'm coming to terms with the fact that there is actually nothing I can do to bring the old her back. She'll go out and have fun just as she did when we were together, but I won't be on her mind at all. I'm just a part of her life that isn't a part anymore. She needs to become the same to me. Just a part of my life that I learned from and became better from. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted January 8, 2013 Author Share Posted January 8, 2013 Started to think. Does she think that I'M the one who doesn't care? How could she honestly have that opinion of me. I gave up because she gave me no reasons to fight. She was always the one who said actions speak louder than words. Her ability to shut me out as she did, SHOWS me what she thinks of me. It's frustrating to think that I'd be seen as the jerk who doesn't care about her because I've given up fighting for her so soon after the BU. Just had to vent. She's probably not thinking of me at all. So she's not thinking negatively or positively. Just not in her thoughts at all. That sucks... Link to post Share on other sites
Coping Vortex Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 Started to think. Does she think that I'M the one who doesn't care? How could she honestly have that opinion of me. I gave up because she gave me no reasons to fight. She was always the one who said actions speak louder than words. Her ability to shut me out as she did, SHOWS me what she thinks of me. It's frustrating to think that I'd be seen as the jerk who doesn't care about her because I've given up fighting for her so soon after the BU. Just had to vent. She's probably not thinking of me at all. So she's not thinking negatively or positively. Just not in her thoughts at all. That sucks... I think that is what we are all wondering on this site. Is our ex thinking of us? Well I got to get some insite when we broke NC last week. After she unfriended me on FB she said she went to look at my FB last week but couldn't get into it. She thought I blocked her. I didn't She also admitted that I was the best lover she ever had. Score one for me. At least i know the new BF is putting her feet to sleep in that department. She admitted she even had masteurbated to us having sex. But......she is still with him. And now she hasn't kept the LC she went NC again. Fine with me I actually have no plans to contact her anymore I'm done chasing her. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 Started to think. Does she think that I'M the one who doesn't care? How could she honestly have that opinion of me. I gave up because she gave me no reasons to fight. She was always the one who said actions speak louder than words. Her ability to shut me out as she did, SHOWS me what she thinks of me. It's frustrating to think that I'd be seen as the jerk who doesn't care about her because I've given up fighting for her so soon after the BU. Just had to vent. She's probably not thinking of me at all. So she's not thinking negatively or positively. Just not in her thoughts at all. That sucks... Your brain is a pretzel right now, all twisted up. You need to stop caring what she could possibly think of you. I mean, you are all twisted enough trying to stabilize your thoughts about her. Trying to guess what another person is thinking, especially one who you aren't in contact with, is a useless enterprise. A complete waste of your time and completely and utterly irrelevant to your life. You have enough to deal with getting your own thoughts settled. Stop trying to guess hers. Link to post Share on other sites
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