I'm YOUR MM's Wife!!

[april38]

OMG, I just heard from the BS. Yesterday my email got hacked and strange emails were sent, and apparently she was still in my contacts list and received one of the messages. So I sent out a mass email appologizing to everyone, and she replied with a short note of "please remove me from your email list" So I decided to reply, which I have never done before and said:

 

I have, and will again. I didn't even know who was in my list of contacts (it seems to add people automatically as I reply). Believe me, I'm mortified! I'm so sorry for the inconvenience and any bad feelings this may have brought back up. I'm also so sorry for EVERYTHING. Through speaking with many women who have gone through what you have, I understand how much pain this has caused you, and I'm sorry I didn't acknowledge it sooner, I was just too wrapped up in my own pain. But I want you to know that all ties and friendship I had with your husband are long gone, and I hope that you have only peace, love, and happiness in your life. I truly am sorry!

 

I hope that was ok.... :-/

[ComingInHot]

april38;

Oh Wow! I cannot imagine that panic attack you must have had when she responded.

I'm also so incredibly impressed how you handled the communications! I am literally moved to tears! The pain for both you and this woman is heart-wrenching and I feel for you*

 

I truly hope that through this little mix-up that this woman can see that you are a kind soul. I hope, even though I am sure she was more than shocked to get any correspondence from you, that she was able to get a little more peace knowing where You are in Your healing and moving forward from the A.

 

I know that for me, my biggest fear and/or worry was where the exOW was and when she would "pop" back up again to hurt me. (she liked doing stuff like that )

 

I always Prayed she would have the strength to move on and heal. For both our sakes.

 

You are SO much stronger than you even realize. I admire that in you*

 

CIH

[april38]

Thank you CIH for your words of encouragement. Talking with you has really made the difference in how I am focusing on moving forward. No longer am I wondering what he is thinking and feeling, or even concerned for his well being (for the most part), my focus has been on my healing and making peace in my heart with her. When she messaged me, she copied him in, when I replied I didn't. If she wants to share it with him, thats her choice, but I wanted to speak solely to her because my concern was for her feelings, not his. Anyway, I hope that she reads it, and it helps her come to peace. I am sure things in their house probably took a small step backwards today due to my communication, but I'm sure it's just temporary. I assume they will both be relieved to know that they wont be hearing from me again. I think that you're right, she has probably continued to be concerned with the idea of my attempts at rekindling a flame with her husband, and I hope I've put that to rest.

 

You have truly helped me to see the other side, and have aided me BIG TIME in my healing. Thank you sooo much!

[stevie_23]

Wow, this is an interesting thread.

 

I never really thought of "talking" to my recent-ex's wife, but if I did, I might say something like this...

 

I'm sorry your husband has been in love with another woman (me) for more than half the time he's been in a relationship with you. I feel bad that when you asked him to marry you mid-last year, he turned you down and said the reason was he didn't want to get married again (he'd been married 4 times before you, which you don't know because he's never told you because you never asked him about his relationship history), but truthfully, he only wanted to be married to me.

 

You are aware, because he has told you in very subtle ways (so as not to hurt you with the truth) that he has never been happy living in your situation at home. Your adult children do not contribute financially or domestically. He does all the cooking and cleaning. Your son lies on the couch all day covered in a blanket, watching sports, and never leaves the house. Your daughter speaks on the phone and brings friends over at all hours and is very loud. Your husband needs space and some peace and quiet at this later stage of his life, and he is not getting it.

 

He also needs a deep, intimate connection with whoever he is with in a relationship. He has never achieved this with you, but that is no fault of your's. You are a fine, stable couple in terms of the domestic partnership you have. He feels your only priority is your children and he is a distant second, but prefers that as he has no interest in creating or maintaining a truly intimate relationship or interactions with you. That is not what he is there for.

 

You found out about him and me some time ago, last September. You sent me an email telling me I would never hear from either of you again, and that no "fantasy wife" will get in the way of all that you had sacrificed so much for to be with him. He did not consider me just a fantasy, though I can see why you would assume that. He considered me his one true wife, and you are his wife on paper only. 2 hours after you told me I would never hear from him again, he contacted me and we continued on together, very carefully. He hid, and continues to hide, all his feelings from you. He only showed and told me.

 

I truly believe if you want to be really happy, you should find someone who is family oriented like you. Your current husband is not and never has been, never will be. He spends all his free time (whether you are home or not) in his music studio. He doesn't eat meals with the family because he does not want to. Are you aware that every morning he used to be showered and dressed before 6am just so when you got up he was ready to leave the house so he could drive somewhere in his truck and sit in a parking lot and continue talking / texting with me? Are you aware he is only happy and relaxed when he is home alone?

 

You deserve someone who fits with your ideals and also your high morals. He deserves someone he can give himself fully to on a deeply intimate level. Neither of you will ever obtain this in your current relationship, but at the same time, he does care for you and does not want to hurt you. And you are comfortable in the domestic stability he provides for you, so that is both your choices to remain, and instead for him to finally let me go.

 

I wonder if you are aware that he HAS let me go and walked away from me and that relationship he always told me meant everything to him. You don't seem to ever discuss anything. Each time you have discovered our interactions over the past year, you have had no discussion with him about his reasons or his feelings. You seemed to think if you took away the tools with which he used to communicate with me, that it would fix the problem. Obviously this has not been the case.

 

This time though, he has the tools available still, but he is not with me anymore. He has chosen to settle for a life that does not make him happy, and I have no control over his choice. I wish you and him all the best. Take care of him as best you can when he needs you.

Edited January 8, 2013 by stevie_23

[ComingInHot]

Stevie;

I just woke up thinking about your words to the MM's Wife. I think I've got a would be reply. Wish me luck*

 

As MM's Wife:

I wish I could say thank you for your letter but truthfully, it was gut wrenching to read. These things that you are so sure are true. Well, some of the information you have is accurate but some are just the twisted manipulations of a man trying to live out his fantasies. One of the things that saddens me is that You seem to be the woman of his darkest desires. After Four marriages, I hoped he had finally found his fantasy woman in me. Crushing blow...

It is strange how hind sight offers so much clarity. I think in time you will have that kind of clarity as well.

Two years ago my husband started distancing himself from me & our family. It wasn't a huge thing that I immediately noticed but little things that I paid no mind to. After close to a year, I didn't even recognize this man I married. He no longer opened up to me, "chatted" w/me, nothing. He just quietly retreated into his own space. It was as if he'd had all the conversation he could have for the day only WE hadn't said more than a few things to each other.

 

I felt like there must be something wrong with me. Like he just all of a sudden stopped caring. It's an awful feeling!

 

Then I found out about you. No wonder, right?! Of course he was tired when he got home. Of course he had no energy to be a part of his family. No kidding he just wanted his quiet time. He had given it to you and let's face it, he's no spring chicken anymore...

 

I wish he had told you the WHOLE truth about his life w/me. It burns me up that the image he gave you of me and the children are only the ones that don't shine us in a positive light. I felt cheated about that because there are many Great things about me and my son & daughter that you will never know & frankly, after all this time wouldn't believe.

 

After this last time I "caught" him, it was different. Almost as if he set himself up to get caught. I would have to agree w/you that the only reason for the "easy catch" would be so I make the decision to leave so his cowardly butt didn't have to.

 

This is where things get hard & confusing for me. See, I have made the decision w/in my own life to live according to standards that ensure I leave this world and the people in it better off for having known me. I believe strongly in my commîtments and I never break a promise. With that said, it is also VERY hard for me to accept I failed t something. Like let's say my marriage...

 

I finally told my husband that if you were what he wanted then he needed to go. I told him He would HAVE to man up and file for divorce as I would still not break my wedding vows of death do us part...

 

I don't exactly know what happened in his soul at that moment but he broke down like I have never seen. He kept on saying he was tired. Tired of living two lives. Tired of lying everyday to me about you and to you about the truth in his love for me. He said his new job kind of completed his circle of how he should be as a man and it was the last piece of the puzle in his tumultuous life.

 

Does he care fore you? Begrudgingly I must admit that he does, and very deeply. That may never truly go away. But he Loves me too and has chosen to stay. I told him the only way to prove his loyalty to our marriage was sincere was to end ALL contact w/you. I was prepared for a battle on this but he said he'd be "happy" to end things. I see though, it isn't because he's over you but because he physically, mentally & emotionally cannot carry on the affair.

 

I can't give you the closure you so much want & desire, and from the looks of my husband these past few days, neither could he. He's grieving the loss of your A relationship too.

 

You'd think I'd be jumping for joy huh!?!? But I am devastated. At moments, I have to grab my chest & remind myself to breathe. So understand, just a little that I know the pain from this A just as you do.

 

I know and respect that you are not sorry for hurting me and not sorry for your A w/my husband. But I AM sorry you didn't get the whole truth about my husband Or me, not that it would have made a difference... and I am sorry we are all hurting

The Wife

 

Stevie, please ignore the below stuff, my tablet has a mind of its own... I can't imagine the insulting behavior of anyone we care about not saying goodbye, and for that I am sorry for your pain and I understand your anger. You must remember one thing & one thing only right now and that is to smile everyday and know you are not alone**

 

Kindly,

CIH

 

. vows . . vows off "til death do us part"

[stevie_23]

Wow. Thank you for that letter back.

 

I think most of it may actually be true, and although at times it was hard to read, it was ok. I am ok.

 

Thank you again, so very much.

[pandorabox]

All what I feel for you is hate.

He is my MM just for last 2 months but Ihate you for years for treating my then just friend like trash. He is smart and funny and everyone loves him but you treat him in front of us like an imbecile .

I won't you to know that's why you guys never get invited to the parties as everyone can't stand you.

And I wish you will never find out about us.

[stevie_23]

Woah. Strong words there.

 

However, one thing I have to say here - at the end of the day, HE is the one who is still with her, isn't he? If she treats him so badly, why doesn't he leave? If he's got you there loving him within the affair, why doesn't he leave her and be totally commited to you?

 

I obviously don't know the whole story at all, but does some of your hatred for her come out of fear / a feeling of being threatened by her and their relationship? The fact he remains with her for...some reason?

[ComingInHot]

pandorabox;

I can feel your heart on fire. I wish I could offer you more of what the reality is in my marriage but I fear nothing would be heard. I think it may be best for you as well that I don't find out.

 

Okay. Pandorabox. I think for you that the reply (by MM's w) is maybe all that you can handle plus there's a-lot of rage w/out detail, ya know. It makes it kind of hard for me to BUT the good news is, it's not about my reply as much as it's about you being able to let it out...

Best answer I think is from Stevie. She is honest, sincere and Not afraid to tell it like it is.**

Thanks Stevie

[stevie_23]

Best answer I think is from Stevie. She is honest, sincere and Not afraid to tell it like it is.**

Thanks Stevie

 

Thank you!!! I was worried I'd been too blunt. I don't want to hurt anyone. It is a delicate tightrope of emotions when affairs and love in general are concerned.

[Capris]

To BW:

 

Im so sorry you married such a prick. I wish i had the clarity,guts and more time to confront you with it to help you, as im helping me, to live a happier life without him.

 

In solitidarity and with deepest compassion,

Capris.

[ComingInHot]

As MM's W:

 

Capris, I'm not sure how to respond... Thank you? I feel like I should immediately fly to the defensive though w/such a short and curt answer.

 

Then I think....... you probably have "met" my husband in a different capacity other than husband. If that's the case, then I agree that he has been a pr$ck.

 

I wish there was a way to exchange information and views w/understanding I bet we'd learn SO much about Everything!

 

Sadly, I don't think , emotionally, either of us are there yet. May not ever be if husband has any manipulative powers left...

 

But at least you Know you are happy where you are and are happy where you are going*

Happy journey to both of us,

The Wife

[stevie_23]

I'm a BH, cheated on and left.

 

This thread has been very interesting to read. Granted, it's mostly OW's writing to BW's, but I'm guessing some of what is said is universal (plus, my STBXW's OM was a MM).

 

I guess all I can say is that much of what's been said here is very disturbing. Some of the posts here are very mature, others simply delusional. It leaves me wondering where my wife falls along this spectrum.

 

I would be very sad to know that my wife was more intimate with OM than she was with me, and entertained these thoughts of uniqueness and us-against-the-world. I guess based on this evidence I suppose she was more intimate with him, which upsets me because I never wished her to be inhibited about anything with me.

 

I don’t know your situation, but was your wife intimate and very open with you early on in your relationship? As the “in love” feelings fade, people can tend to pull away and then if they do happen to develop those same “in love” feelings for someone else outside the relationship at some stage, they’d be more inclined to shift that intimacy and closeness and the “us against the world” mentality (that they once had with you) to that other person, and unfortunately shut you out.

 

I’m so sorry to hear that this happened to you. I know it’s only a tiny consolation, but you do know it’s not about you, right? The reason this happened, I mean. It’s about your wife.

[stevie_23]

This is very interesting and a useful post.

 

Anyone can cheat. Anyone at all. I thought I would NEVER do such a thing to my long term partner of 11.5 years. I always felt I was “safe” when I first began noticing feelings developing for my recent ex-online / long distance affair. I was supposedly gay, taken, 27 years younger, and lived billions of miles away. So if THAT isn’t safe, then what the hell IS!? Nobody is safe from the potential to fall out of love with their existing partner, and to unknowingly (until it’s too late maybe) fall IN love with someone else.

 

It doesn’t matter how good or stable the marriage is. It doesn’t matter how happy or unhappy the person is who develops extra-marital feelings and falls in love with someone else. It can happen to anyone. A marriage does not have to be “bad” to be open to this.

 

And as with everything relationship related, it is always both people involved that play a part in both developing, building and maintaining the relationship. If one of them does not want to anymore, even if they don’t know it yet, there’s nothing the one left behind can do to change that. You cannot control or change someone else’s feelings. So…the BH or BW…there is nothing they can do. Nothing they did wrong. Nothing they did right. Just…nothing. Nothing is relevant.

[stevie_23]

I really think it depends why the person had the affair and what they wanted from it.

 

If the MM or MW had an affair because they had fallen out of love with their spouse a while ago but for whatever reason don’t want to leave them, or DO plan to leave them but are waiting for…whatever…then the marriage may end, whether the affair continues or not.

 

If the MM or MW had an affair due to holes in the marriage or a void, and they feel this could be filled and haven’t given up hope of the marriage working still, but just fell into the affair and it felt so good so they maintained both “separate lives”, the marriage may be able to continue on fairly happily if the BS is able to move forward. If they can trust their partner won’t do something like that again and instead will discuss openly any future issues, feelings or problems before the person in question turns to his own devices to sort it out.

 

Or in some cases, the marriage becomes an “open” one. This is rare although fairly progressive. If the BS would prefer to stay with her partner rather than be alone and is willing to not be the ONLY person they are with, well…it can work. At least for a while and to an extent.

 

Some people believe monogamy is unrealistic and shouldn’t be such a societal norm. They believe the hurt BS’s feel when cheated on stems not from the act itself (the fact their spouse was with someone else) but from the fact secrets were kept / lies were told and the fact everyone considers is so horrible to be cheated on.

[ow9]

I actually sent this in the mail a few days ago.* So, please, pray for me…

*

BS,

 

Your husband and I had an affair which lasted for over a year.* It was both emotional and physical.** If this is the first time you are learning of exMM’s affair (well, affairs, as I was not his first), I cannot express how sorry I am if you did not want to know.* Although, I believe you do want to know, and have a right to know.

 

I have no excuse.* I have no explanation.* My intention was never, at any point, to hurt you or your family.* I cannot take back our affair.* Oh, believe me, if I could, I most certainly would. He and I have zero contact anymore, and will not ever again. The only thing that I feel I can do, to fix whatever I can, if that’s even possible, is to apologize to you.*

 

If exMM was not lying to me, and he did actually tell you about us, then I hope that this letter can somehow help.* However you’re feeling right now, I’d like to give you an option.* I am going to give you my e-mail address.* If you have questions, and need to know what is real and what is a lie, I will do my best to help you.* The option is yours.

 

I am sick over my actions.* I cannot even grasp the pain you are going through. I want you to know that, from the bottom of my heart, I regret what I have done. BS, I am so sorry.*

 

-inserted e-mail address created only for this purpose-

[ComingInHot]

OwNine;

Oh. My. Gosh.

That was absolutely the most amazing letter I have read so far!!! I can't imagine how painful it must have been to write yet (hopefully) how freeing for you as well.

 

Response as BW;

 

Thank you. Thank You. You have no idea, just, thank you.

I may take you up on your offer for a talk via email. I need to catch my breath first and sort through some things but I probably will be getting in touch with you soon.

I know there is much I'd like to know and some of my questions and responses may be full of anger and hurt but know that at the heart of this, I thank you for revealing to me the lie I was a part of living.

 

Kindly,

Wife

[jnd2009]

I wish she knew what he was doing. I remember 4 years ago before we messed around, I had asked why he got married. He shook his head and stumbled and said I really, really do not know why. Fast forward to a few months ago, he told me he does love her (as he's told me before). He seems like he's married because it was at the point in his life/his age to do so. We started about a year into his M, but we worked together and innocently flirted before they were M and only dating, then engaged. When telling him how I felt a month ago, he said he doesn't want to leave her. My opinion is because he has this 'perfect' picture to everyone- family, friends, etc, and doesn't want to hurt her, someone he loves. I do sometimes wonder if I'm the only one. I heard he slept with another person at work years ago, she says once while they were engaged and right after they got married. That girl had told me she thought about telling his W too, but never did. He also told me once he finished school they will have kids (this was said 4 years ago when asked when we should stop). He's been out of school for about 2 years and I don't know their plans for kids, I would like to know why they're holding out. Sorry if this is off topic, but I'd be curious to see how it would play out if she did know what he does.

[ComingInHot]

jnd;

I would like to respond as the Wife but I need more of a letter w/question/s.

Unless you are just looking for My personal opinion.

Please clarify & I'd be happy to oblige.

[spice4life]

ComingInHot herself: Without me having to go into you old posts & read, I saw that you mentioned you acted in crazy ways after DDay towards the OW. What vengeful things did you do? And how far after DDay happened did you start doing them?

 

CominInHot aka My MM's wife: When I emailed you back in July divulging the affair. I answered your questions, I apologized & I respected your wishes to not contact your husband. I was coming so far along in healing months later only to see you or him tweeting me from your Twitter account in November (4 months after DDay). Random cryptic messages.

 

"The late nights don't miss you"

"I can't wait for the day your payback comes, it's going to be mindblowing"

"Don't you have to have a heart in order for your heart to be broken"

 

I deactived my twitter acct to give you time to heal as I saw that this was not healthy. And a week after my account being gone, you tweeted again, "I'm done its all yours if you still want it." Then a day later you said, "Better watch over your shoulder a little while longer." At this point I then was convinced it was him under your acct saying these things. I reactivated my account. And while he was at work on a Sat (he is in radio) I thought I'd strike up a convo with this mysterious Twitter to see if you'd answer. You/he did, you proceded to tell me there is no words to describe the pain of the affair, you just had surgery & when you get the emotional/physcial strength you're going to do what you should've done 13 years ago (divorce). You asked me if it mattered to me? I said, I don't know what matters anymore. I wished you luck & convo ended.

 

The next morning I noticed you tweeted me, "I went to the concert with him last night & we had a blast." I knew I was being played with @ this point. Unsure if by you, him, or the both of you. I emailed you both. You both denied tweeting at all. Is this my mind blowing payback? To reel me in with bullcrap, to only just let me down? Lame. The point to that was?

 

As far as I'm concerned you guys WON a long time ago. You won each other. So go enjoy yourselves, focus on your marriage, be happy. You all finally deleted your tweets & blocked your twitter. Still no idea 100% who it was although I believe you both knew about it. I'm glad you are able to move on now.

 

PS. I also use tracking IP links on MY twitter to check the demographics of my clicking customers. The IP of your home & your job popped up so I know 100% you have been clicking on these links in December & January. Is there something you NEED to know, just ask? I am an open book

 

You are dealing with some sick people sonia. And if both him and his wife are in on it?...even sicker. Why are you reading their tweets? Can't you block them or report them to twitter for harrassment? Cyber stalking and making threats is ILLEGAL!

Edited February 27, 2013 by spice4life

[loredo21]

it's been 7 months (wow 7 months) since your world was turned upside down when you discovered my affair with your H. what are things like now? What is your new normal? What is your life together like now?

[ComingInHot]

Soni Sagra: "ComingInHot herself: Without me having to go into you old posts & read, I saw that you mentioned you acted in crazy ways after DDay towards the OW. What vengeful things did you do? And how far after DDay happened did you start doing them?"

 

Mostly my "craziness" was in my thoughts and actions towards my husband. Which he SOOooooo deserved.

 

As for exOW, I had wonderfully imaginative daydreams and thoughts on how I could "make her pay". Awful I know but I think somewhat therapeutic at the same time.

 

What I DID do was more for my Company as I had emails communicating that the time she stated that she was "working" for my company she was Not working for my company but she was paid by me for it. (geez that STILL pi**es me off!! ). She (w/my H's approval) stole from my company and me. SOOoooo I put together the timesheets she submitted along with the email communications stating something along the lines of, "I don't mind mixing work w/pleasure" and "don't worry, I get paid by the hour, they won't be able to tell we're Not working on the system" and forwarded that to the tech company requesting reimbursement for false reporting of time.

I got reimbursed. She was "let go".

Yes. This Was my fault. I didn't have to submit anything to her employers. I did that. It was found later that she "skewed" her timesheet on more occasions and not just with my company. So ultimately, I think it was important that I let this out as her actions were causing harm to her employer as well.

 

The other crazy moment I had was with my H. I chucked HIS laptop, I was so angry and hurt.

 

For the most part, I have acted with Grace, dignity and humility in dealing with this young broken woman who is seeking to fill a void in her heart in all the wrong places.

I would love to say she is not my problem. I DO say that. Yet, I feel so badly that no amount of my forgiveness and understanding could help her focus on setting her life onto a different, better, Healthier path. She truly hated me or at least put her self-loathing Onto me, I don't know which it was.

I remember the last email she sent me after the numerous times I told her to please stop. She wrote, "I wish you peace. I have it in being a Christian and knowing I will always be better than you".

I cried so hard for her (and myself because that did sting a bit cause words hurt me) because of her struggle with who she wants to be and who she is and not knowing really how to get to a better place*

I hope that answers your question :)

[spice4life]

Forgive me if I'm mistaken, but isn't Sonia the one stalking Wife's Twitter?

 

God, just stop looking!

 

Also, since when can you get people's home addresses from IP searches?

 

I totally agree, she should stop looking. I don't really know her story so I may have been mistaken.

[ComingInHot]

Soni; "Is there something you NEED to know, just ask? I am an open book "

 

As MM's W:

I don't have anything to ask. I wish I did so I could at least have an excuse when I look in on your life. I think I want SO badly for you to hurt as much as I do because of what you and my H did to me and our family. I want you to continue to hurt as I do.

When I am either done hurting or just to Damn tired to continue with my malicious behavior, I will stop. Promise.

It honestly kills me to think that for you, this whole thing is over while I am here stuck with the daily, no hourly, no no, minute by minute thoughts and pain and images and reminders that aren't stopping for me. So I lash out at you. The only person I can give my hate and anger too because I love my H too much even though HE is the one who deserves all of it.

I NEED help. I know I do. I can't have anyone seeing this though, so I just keep it in and when I get moment make the Twitter posts to give it all to you.

I am afraid. I am angry. I am hurt. I don't know how to move forward so I am Stuck.

One day. Hopefully soon. I will be able to get Un-Stuck and move forward and let this all go. Let you go. I hope for both of us that day will be soon.

The W

 

Soni, this SUCKED to write !!

It is one this to Think things, daydream & plan BUT to actually harass and stalk and throw in the face of someone is wrong and does Nothing to move forward in a productive, healthy manner.

I am sorry that you are dealing with this, still...

CIH

[ComingInHot]

Loredo: "it's been 7 months (wow 7 months) since your world was turned upside down when you discovered my affair with your H. what are things like now? What is your new normal? What is your life together like now? "

 

As MM's W;

Everything is Absolutely WONDERFUL! Things are even better than when we first met! We spend Every Waking Minute together or in communication or in Deep Loving Thoughts of eachother!

Everyday we say I love you and how lucky we are to be together!

And the Sex! Wow!! IS the Sex :sick: ever Amazing!

I should Really be thanking you at this point because we are SO much closer together than EVER..........................................................................

 

As the MM's "honest" W,

Normal? I don't know what normal is supposed to be anymore. I cry a-lot still. Mostly when I am alone though because H is trying hard to make things right and even though I want that I can't help thinking why he couldn't do it before but sure as heck didn't have a problem doing for you. Is therapy supposed to be part of "normal"? At first, I was all gung ho for the sessions and working things out with the counselor. It really did help. But now I dread going. I feel like each session at this point is re-opening a wound I so very much want to stay closed from hear on out.

H asks me out on dates and brings me flowers which he rarely EVER did "before". It's great to be treated that way. It gives me hope for us that I desperately want and need right now.

He is doing all the right things by way of open book, constant communication, and the sex is probably more frequent and (when I can get into it) better than "before".

I HATE being in CONSTANT CONTACT with him ALWAYS checking in!!! Then if he doesn't or I don't feel like he did, I HATE that feeling too!

Sometimes when we are just cuddling or sitting across from eachother at the table, I picture myself making a fist and popping him right in his smirking little jaw. Then, I start to smile myself and he responds to the smile like he is being rewarded for being so charismatically handsome and whitty. (if he only knew).

When I look at where things are as whole though, I am getting better. We are getting "there". I love him and I am beginning to believe he loves me too. There is something to be said for that I think.

But normal? I don't think I could say we are everyday normal yet AND I'LL NEVER LET YOU KNOW IT.

The W

 

Loredo, Such a long response to your simple post. Sorry but I wanted to give a just one scenario of what might be. I didn't even know my H cheated til almost a year later then everything was quite lovely as I didn't deal with ANY of it til another year passed. (had a-lot going on at the time). But you know even when things are "good" there is still the fact that he cheated. Even though we are closer than we have ever been, there are those times when I want to pop him one right in his jaw. The moments are short lived but still happen even years later.

As "interesting" as it would be to have a peak into how their lives are "now", post A. It will do nothing except make you dwell on something that would be wasting your precious time that would be better spent on all the loves in your own life ie; pets, hobbies, family, new BF or H or all the other gifts that have been given you during this journey*

CIH