denise_xo Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Maybe I should just see which one I like best and stick with that one. That sounds like a good strategy. Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Just filled out a questionaire on a careers advice website, to find out what strengths and weaknesses I have and which careers I'd be good at. After looking at the results it says that my strengths are: Learning and Technology Learning and Technology is a skill area that you feel you are most able to do. This is about being able to learn new information easily and learn how to use new technologies quickly. And my weaknesses or areas for development are: Taking Responsibility Taking Responsibility is a skill area that you feel you can do less well. This is about being able to take responsibility for your own actions, take control of situations and lead others. If you would like to improve this skill, the following development suggestion might be useful. So I've got no idea why it then gave me job suggestions which involve, adapting to challenges, working well with others, and convincing others, taking responsibility and leading others. All of those things are my weaknesses, not my strengths. Wtf? What an odd outcome. Have you tried mynextmove dot org? They have an interest profiler and it's free. Give it a whirl. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted November 10, 2011 Author Share Posted November 10, 2011 ^ I'll try that out, thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
ScreamingTrees Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Hey Ross, do you know how self conscious you are and how you feel? Well, other people feel the same stuff you do. They don't think about YOU. They worry about THEMSELVES. You have to try to keep telling yourself that you are not under any one's microscope. Everyone is under their own microscope. When you understand this entirely, you will achieve freedom that will empower you more than most folks. Repeat after me: everyone worries about themselves--I am not the subject of scrutiny. Now you try: everyone worries about themselves--I am not the subject of scrutiny... repeat and repeat. I swear, this man is a sage. I try so hard to follow with this mindset, but my body reacts differently to stress than my mind does.. My body USED to shut down, twitch and shake a bit, and I had to close my eyes or look at the ground. Well, I still have problems with my eyes, but I can't see well with 'em anyway, so I'll always have trouble. lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted November 10, 2011 Author Share Posted November 10, 2011 A great girl who's close to me suggested that whenever I push myself to do something I'm not comfortable with, that I should buy myself a treat afterwards. So that's what I'm going to do from now on. Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredReality Posted November 11, 2011 Share Posted November 11, 2011 A great girl who's close to me suggested that whenever I push myself to do something I'm not comfortable with, that I should buy myself a treat afterwards. So that's what I'm going to do from now on. Yes, self rewarding is a great technique. Let us know how it works out for you! As for the two counselors, yes, meet w them both and then find your happy medium. In the beginning it might be neat, though, to see the differing views. Each counselor is different so they'll have different perspectives to draw from - even if much of what they say follows the same lines of thinking or similar. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted November 13, 2011 Author Share Posted November 13, 2011 I'm wondering, maybe I should only self reward when I go through a bad experience? Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredReality Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 I'm wondering, maybe I should only self reward when I go through a bad experience? The problem with that is the message you receive. You can come up with different systems to lift yourself up - but more than rewarding yourself for the bad experience, you should reward yourself when you come out ahead from the bad experience....does that make sense? Positive reinforcement is huge...but if you reward the negative positively then you're encouraging the negative as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted November 18, 2011 Author Share Posted November 18, 2011 The problem with that is the message you receive. You can come up with different systems to lift yourself up - but more than rewarding yourself for the bad experience, you should reward yourself when you come out ahead from the bad experience....does that make sense? Positive reinforcement is huge...but if you reward the negative positively then you're encouraging the negative as well. That makes sense, thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted November 18, 2011 Author Share Posted November 18, 2011 Went and saw both therapists. First one was an asessment at some religous place, crosses everywhere, kinda felt like I was in a cult. The woman told me that when a councellor will be able to see me they'll let me know, and that he would be able to help me with housing/getting me onto a waiting list. Which I'm not sure about because anything that you'd get from being on a waiting list would probably be in a horrible area. Saw the second therapist too on the same day, he hardly gave me any feedback at all, whenever I told him something he would not say anything at all. And when he did say something, most of the time it just seemed to be fluff. It just didn't do anything for me, but then again maybe I'm expecting too much. I don't really have much desire to see the second one again, but I guess I could give it a few more sessions. Realised that I would love to live in Rhyl or Prestatyn in Wales, near to the beach. I used to go on hoiday there when I was a kid in the 80's. Those places really really feel like somewhere where I'd feel happy. Just need to try and take the steps to get there, whatever those steps may be. Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 Good update. Consider taking a bus out to those towns in Wales. Walk around and get a feel for the places. Have a coffee. People watch. If one town feels particularly good, look into what industries are there for job prospects. Reading how you're constructing a new life, little by little has been fascinating. You're making moves, Rossie, lots of small steps which means you'll eventually find yourself on new and better ground. Keep going. Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 (edited) "Your life reflects the way you think." Do you find this true from your experience? Edited November 19, 2011 by cerridwen Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted November 19, 2011 Author Share Posted November 19, 2011 Good update. Consider taking a bus out to those towns in Wales. Walk around and get a feel for the places. Have a coffee. People watch. If one town feels particularly good, look into what industries are there for job prospects. Reading how you're constructing a new life, little by little has been fascinating. You're making moves, Rossie, lots of small steps which means you'll eventually find yourself on new and better ground. Keep going. Aw, thanks. I don't really feel much need to visit those places first, before moving to any of them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted November 19, 2011 Author Share Posted November 19, 2011 (edited) "Your life reflects the way you think." Do you find this true from your experience? I think so yes, not just in how your thinking affects your life, but the law of attraction thing as well. And I do want to look more into the law of attraction thing. Edited November 19, 2011 by Ross MwcFan Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 I don't really feel much need to visit those places first, before moving to any of them. What if they've changed? Your needs are different now as an adult versus your needs as a vacationing child. For instance, it helps to see how far services are, what the people are like, if massage parlors have moved in while city parks have been closed. Moving that great a distance without first checking it out may not be wise. Take a coach there! Make a weekend of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted November 21, 2011 Author Share Posted November 21, 2011 What if they've changed? Your needs are different now as an adult versus your needs as a vacationing child. For instance, it helps to see how far services are, what the people are like, if massage parlors have moved in while city parks have been closed. Moving that great a distance without first checking it out may not be wise. Take a coach there! Make a weekend of it. I was thinking I could just check things out online instead, I wouldn't really feel comfortable going there on my own and staying in a hotel on my own for the weekend. I do want to check what the crime rate is there, and take more of a look around on Google Earth, I'll see what services there are too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted November 21, 2011 Author Share Posted November 21, 2011 Went and saw the other councellor today, and it went quite well, he gave me lots of feedback, and asked questions too. Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 Oh, that's great! I've found counseling really useful, but you need the right person for you. Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredReality Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 Good to hear! Any "homework"? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted November 22, 2011 Author Share Posted November 22, 2011 On the 2nd of Dec I've got a medical examination to decide whether I'm fit for work or not. Apparently many people who aren't fit for work are being declared fit for work, especially people with anxiety and/or depression, supposedly they're being taken off sickness benefit in their thousands. Good to hear! Any "homework"? Nope not yet. Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredReality Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 On the 2nd of Dec I've got a medical examination to decide whether I'm fit for work or not. Apparently many people who aren't fit for work are being declared fit for work, especially people with anxiety and/or depression, supposedly they're being taken off sickness benefit in their thousands. Do you think you're fit for work? If not you could always go the extreme dramatic an just sob throughout the entire process and talk about how stressful it was just to get there...every time they touch you flinch and gasp.... Sorry - it's a joke - but honestly - if you don't feel fit for work you should probably tell them that during the exam. Tell them your feelings of anxiety - that you're in therapy and hope to be fit for work by next year or something... But more importantly - it's not until 12/2 so don't stress about it until 12/1 ok? Do not ruin a week and a half worrying! Concentrate on the progress! Link to post Share on other sites
Eclypse Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 Ross have you thought about going back to school? It would give you great skills for the workplace, and you'd get practice talking to people and making friends. I just graduated my degree and I'm already missing school. The medical science workplace is very cold. Link to post Share on other sites
Ginger Beer Posted November 25, 2011 Share Posted November 25, 2011 (edited) On the 2nd of Dec I've got a medical examination to decide whether I'm fit for work or not. Apparently many people who aren't fit for work are being declared fit for work, especially people with anxiety and/or depression, supposedly they're being taken off sickness benefit in their thousands. I can confirm this is true, they declared me fit for work in April and stopped my benefit. That was horrible but I appealed and won (I got the letter saying I won a couple weeks back now). If you fail you can appeal. Is your medical assessment for ESA? Sorry if nosy it's just that this is very similar to my situation. I don't know where you are but I'm guessing in the UK. Edited November 25, 2011 by Ginger Beer Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted November 25, 2011 Author Share Posted November 25, 2011 I can confirm this is true, they declared me fit for work in April and stopped my benefit. That was horrible but I appealed and won (I got the letter saying I won a couple weeks back now). If you fail you can appeal. Is your medical assessment for ESA? Sorry if nosy it's just that this is very similar to my situation. I don't know where you are but I'm guessing in the UK. Nah it's fine. I'm not sure if it's ESA, but it is basically sickness benefit. I'm in the North West of the UK. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted November 25, 2011 Author Share Posted November 25, 2011 I can confirm this is true, they declared me fit for work in April and stopped my benefit. That was horrible but I appealed and won (I got the letter saying I won a couple weeks back now). If you fail you can appeal. Is your medical assessment for ESA? Sorry if nosy it's just that this is very similar to my situation. I don't know where you are but I'm guessing in the UK. Is it okay if I ask what your disability is? Link to post Share on other sites
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