Sex Without Emotion for Women - Is it possible?

[SilkRose]

Good try but what a crock of nonsense!! You can be lonely and still enjoy the sex..."bona fide" couples do it all the time!!

 

You need to stop buying into cheap, romantic scenarios...

 

How old are you?

 

 

Who says you can't be lonely and enjoy casual sex?

 

Exactly, and if its with a friend I can tell them what I want vice versa and we can satisfy eachother. Friends listen after all. And it's true Marlena, couples can be lonely in a relationship and have enjoyable sex...lol.

 

If men were similar to women, would this even be a question?

 

As this thread has shown, different people are different. Some women/men get emotionally attatched through sex, some don't for whatever reason(s). It's just that men are encouraged to have sex and to collect sexual experiences to use as 'conquests' to boost their egos or brag to friends about. Whereas women are encouraged to hide their thoughts and experiences. Thankfully not on this thread!

 

This whole 'conquest' thing is sad. Have read men refer to pursuing women through 'the thrill of the chase' and then only being satisfied when they have 'conquered' i.e had sex with them.

 

How pathetic, those same guys don't know what women say to their friends about them after the sex. Arrogance isn't good in the bedroom...

[marlena]

Good try but what a crock of nonsense!! You can be lonely and still enjoy the sex..."bona fide" couples do it all the time!!

 

 

And to quote myself, there isn't a single person on this spinning globe that doesn't feel alone .... Ultimately, we are born alone, live alone and die alone... everything in the interim, is but a a fleeting wisp of time, an illusion.

 

The sooner we come to terms with this truth, the closer we will get to appreciating the transience of life....

 

Yes, carpe diem is what it is all about .... grasp whatever pleasure you can while you still breathe..

[calizaggy]

It's just that men are encouraged to have sex and to collect sexual experiences to use as 'conquests' to boost their egos or brag to friends about. Whereas women are encouraged to hide their thoughts and experiences. Thankfully not on this thread!

 

 

Men need no encouragement to have casual sex, lol..That is how we are wired.

 

As you can see, women must "adapt" their thoughts to even attempt anything close to casual, emotionless sex.

 

It's ok ladies.. I like that women actully care about who enters their bodies.. Anything less would be sad..

[SilkRose]

Once again, what is casual sex? Sex with a friend? FWB you are leading on?

 

You won't find women with tons of options (young, beautiful, mentally stable) seeking casual sex.

 

No one has to lead anyone on. Women desire sex. I desire sex and am figuring out what to do when I feel ready to have sex again.

 

Perhaps you won't, but you're in a relationship so you don't need to 'find' such women. I am attractive to men and I know friends who are attractice,educated, employed and just lovely who cannot find quality nice mature genuine young men...we are all considering leaving the area we live in because we've found better options in other locations we've travelled too...me included. lol.

 

Like I said 'release' and 'pleasure' are two different things. And casual sex doesn't have to be everyday with some new stranger. Occasional sex with a friend or somewone from work may be an option - obviously not the boss.

[CarrieT]

Sex without emotions means NO EMOTIONS, before, during, or after.. Just screwing for a release.. I think women can do this, but they are called hookers.

 

Why are you so adamant in this belief? There are a lot of us women who can have detached, emotionless sex and it does not make us hookers, tramps, or skanks.

 

Yes, I would like nothing more than to have a relationship and be a one-woman guy to whom I can give my body and soul and heart. But since I am not even getting dates, I am hardly going to wait and in the meantime, will suffice with meaningless sex for the release and shear physical pleasure. Once every four to six weeks right now, works for me.

[kiss_andmakeup]

Once again, what is casual sex? Sex with a friend? FWB you are leading on?

 

It seems as a last resort, very lonely women will have casual sex more or less to cure their loneliness OR RECENT PAIN, rather than because they really love casual sex and feel wonderful and proud afterwards.

 

Check out dating sites, and see what the women look like who are seeking casual sex..Usually fat, old, ugly.. You won't find women with tons of options (young, beautiful, mentally stable) seeking casual sex.

 

I already explained, in detail, what my experience with casual sex is. They were not "friends" or people I knew beforehand. I really don't need to rehash this.

 

As for feeling "proud" afterwards...uhh, not necessarily, but I didn't feel ashamed, if that's what you're asking.

 

Also, you seem to be misunderstanding something. The point of this thread wasn't "can women have sex like men do." The question was, are women capable of emotionless sex. I'd imagine that for every woman, the answer is different. The women in this thread were sharing their personal experiences for the benefit of the OP.

 

For me, I enjoy it once in a blue moon and no longer have a desire to since I'm in a very committed relationship. Some women enjoy it more frequently or as a way of life. AND, by the way, I know a few women like this, and while I won't comment on their emotional qualities because who am I to judge, the last thing they are is fat/ugly/physically undesirable.

[EricaH329]

Just trying to figure this out..

 

Apparently casual sex for women with no emotions is satisfying, yet the women who claim to do this admit they have done it very very sparingly, or with friends..Or once in their entire lives after a break up.

 

Sounds more like being lonely than really enjoying emotionless casual sex.

 

What you aren't understanding is that it doesn't matter why females enjoy casual sex... the point is that they either enjoy it or they don't! They either want it all the time, or they don't! We could go on and on with the reasons as to why women want casual sex.

 

The point is, that it is possible.

 

I'd also like to point out, since you are comparing males and females on this topic... I know a lot of guys who have tons more casual sex than females.

 

If these guys are always sucked into casual sex that leads to emotions on the females part, why do they continue to do it? Do they really love sex that much that they are willing to endure the crap they have to go through afterwards with females that have become emotionally attached?

 

Another thing i'd like to point out (as you did in your arguement) that it is very possible that since a man can distinguish between love and lust, that he is also not able to determine what love is and cannot have meaningful sexual relationships with women since they can so easily turn this 'switch' in their minds.

 

Make much sense? Because this is the same arguement you were having against females.

 

Just thought i'd put things into perspective for you... since you seem to be having a difficult time doing it.

[calizaggy]

Kiss,

 

You said you had casual sex once in your entire life, after a break up..

 

If you really enjoyed casual sex, i would think it would be more than a once in a lifetime experience.

 

Yes, women can sustain life after being banged by a stranger, but the question is if it is something that really satisfies them. My answer is no.

 

But I understand women are trying to act like men, blah, blah ,blah.. unfortunately in this case it is just a major turn off. Men are men, women are women.

 

Erica, yes, men like variety.

[SilkRose]

It's ok ladies.. I like that women actully care about who enters their bodies.. Anything less would be sad..

 

Obviously I care, so does every woman on this thread, as we are having a discussion. If I didn't, I wouldn't be celibate or have created this thread or sought advice at all.

 

Also you found a woman who has the same values as you do, that's fine.

 

And its not simply about penetration, it's about enjoyable sex. A man 'entering' a woman...That sounds so formal and dull. We aren't objects to control with buttons to push. Thankfully otherwise I wouldn't wait for so long. Sexual experience is much more interesting than that, with the right sexual partner obviously. Might start a thread about that topic.

[kiss_andmakeup]

Kiss,

 

You said you had casual sex once in your entire life, after a break up..

 

If you really enjoyed casual sex, i would think it would be more than a once in a lifetime experience.

 

Yes, women can sustain life after being banged by a stranger, but the question is if it is something that really satisfies them. My answer is no.

 

But I understand women are trying to act like men, blah, blah ,blah.. unfortunately in this case it is just a major turn off. Men are men, women are women.

 

I considered my flings casual sex, maybe not to the same extreme that a ONS is, but it was still sex without emotional investment on my part, and yes, I enjoyed them.

 

However, sex with an emotional connection is better. I just don't force myself to feel that connection with every man I sleep with. The difference between my flings and my relationship with my boyfriend is that we do have that connection.

 

And quit with the "women are trying to act like men" bit. Having some casual experiences here and there is a far cry from "acting like a man." And if doing so is such a turn off to the majority of men then I must have consistently encountered the minority of men.

[EricaH329]

But I understand women are trying to act like men, blah, blah ,blah.. unfortunately in this case it is just a major turn off. Men are men, women are women.

 

:lmao: Yes, that's it!! You nailed it!! I want to be like a man!

[calizaggy]

Obviously I care, so does every woman on this thread, as we are having a discussion. If I didn't, I wouldn't be celibate or have created this thread or sought advice at all.

 

Also you found a woman who has the same values as you do, that's fine.

 

And its not simply about penetration, it's about enjoyable sex. A man 'entering' a woman...That sounds so formal and dull. We aren't objects to control with buttons to push. Thankfully otherwise I wouldn't wait for so long. Sexual experience is much more interesting than that, with the right sexual partner obviously. Might start a thread about that topic.

 

 

Exactly.. And for most women to climax, and for it to be good sex, women need more of an emotional connection.. Even the easy girls who can't have a relationship try to form one during the night. Which is why the guys might be confused the following day..

 

As you know men will cum and orgasm quite easily. You wouldn't even have to say a word or be attractive at all.

[Meaplus3]

I think it all depends of the women. For me NO. I need emotions to have sex.. so I won't even have sex unless I have an emotional investment to begin with.

 

Mea:)

[SilkRose]

Kiss,

 

You said you had casual sex once in your entire life, after a break up..

 

If you really enjoyed casual sex, i would think it would be more than a once in a lifetime experience.

 

Yes, women can sustain life after being banged by a stranger, but the question is if it is something that really satisfies them. My answer is no.

But I understand women are trying to act like men, blah, blah ,blah.. unfortunately in this case it is just a major turn off. Men are men, women are women.

 

Erica, yes, men like variety.

 

It's not just about casual sex, its about the man in question. She enjoyed casual sex with him, doesn't mean she wants more casual sex with him or with someone else, sometimes people just enjoy that time, those moments and move on. Each person is different.

 

And she may or may not do it in the future either no woman has to 'prove' anything.

 

As for satisfaction, each woman knows if she has been satisfied sexually. Who are you to dictate that? lol.

 

This thread isn't about 'trying to act like men', there are 'drag kings' who achieve that. This is about sex without the romantic feelings afterwards.

 

Men and Women are part male/female...hence reproduction. lol!

 

Also some women like variety. Especially if they are unsatified or curious...Some men are very sexy and seem like they know what to do sexually, who wouldn't be at least curious about that...?

 

Why are you so adamant in this belief? There are a lot of us women who can have detached, emotionless sex and it does not make us hookers, tramps, or skanks.

 

Yes, I would like nothing more than to have a relationship and be a one-woman guy to whom I can give my body and soul and heart. But since I am not even getting dates, I am hardly going to wait and in the meantime, will suffice with meaningless sex for the release and shear physical pleasure. Once every four to six weeks right now, works for me.

 

Thanks, that's so specific, do you have romantic feelings afterwards? How do you manage them? Who do you sleep with, friends or other people?

 

I already explained, in detail, what my experience with casual sex is. They were not "friends" or people I knew beforehand. I really don't need to rehash this.

 

As for feeling "proud" afterwards...uhh, not necessarily, but I didn't feel ashamed, if that's what you're asking.

 

Also, you seem to be misunderstanding something. The point of this thread wasn't "can women have sex like men do." The question was, are women capable of emotionless sex. I'd imagine that for every woman, the answer is different. The women in this thread were sharing their personal experiences for the benefit of the OP.

 

For me, I enjoy it once in a blue moon and no longer have a desire to since I'm in a very committed relationship. Some women enjoy it more frequently or as a way of life. AND, by the way, I know a few women like this, and while I won't comment on their emotional qualities because who am I to judge, the last thing they are is fat/ugly/physically undesirable.

 

Well said.

[SilkRose]

Exactly.. And for most women to climax, and for it to be good sex, women need more of an emotional connection.. Even the easy girls who can't have a relationship try to form one during the night. Which is why the guys might be confused the following day..

 

As you know men will cum and orgasm quite easily. You wouldn't even have to say a word or be attractive at all.

 

Depends on the woman, being in love doesn't mean that a woman is sexually satisfied or experiences orgasms. Sexual performance/compatibility is its own issue.Some men, however loveable don't have those skills, unless they are taught by the woman...

 

Am not inetrested in lables like 'easy girls', who cares about such labels? Especially when you encourage male promiscuity, why not call them 'easy men' or better yet, why not stop labeling.

 

Women and men can orgasm quickly from masturbation and toys too...so...

[calizaggy]

To be honest, I recently changed my thinking on this topic..

 

I dated many women in which sex happened instantly.. We dated, sometimes it felt like love, but it was just never "right" in all ways..

 

Recently I met a woman who cares about her body completely, and we formed a deep relationship BEFORE sex.. So after sex there were no games, apologies, confusion, etc..

 

To me the above is only possible if the woman truly cares for herself, and does not have sexual "switches"..Sure, some women can bang tons of guys then finally fall in love, but more often than not something is missing.. The reason she can bang so many guys in the past is because she was emotionally "not all there", and more or less already scorned, bitter, etc.. A mere shadow of her true self.

[kiss_andmakeup]

To be honest, I recently changed my thinking on this topic..

 

I dated many women in which sex happened instantly.. We dated, sometimes it felt like love, but it was just never "right" in all ways..

 

Recently I met a woman who cares about her body completely, and we formed a deep relationship BEFORE sex.. So after sex there were no games, apologies, confusion, etc..

 

To me the above is only possible if the woman truly cares for herself, and does not have sexual "switches"..Sure, some women can bang tons of guys then finally fall in love, but more often than not something is missing.. The reason she can bang so many guys in the past is because she was emotionally "not all there", and more or less already scorned, bitter, etc.. A mere shadow of her true self.

 

You are looking at two extremes and completely missing the in-between. Your only examples are a) women who wait until an emotional bond is formed to have sex, and b) women who bang tons of guys and is a "mere shadow of her true self" (LOL by the way).

 

My current boyfriend and I had sex on our first date. It's been almost 2 years now, and I assure you, nothing's missing. :love:

[SilkRose]

To be honest, I recently changed my thinking on this topic..

 

I dated many women in which sex happened instantly.. We dated, sometimes it felt like love, but it was just never "right" in all ways..

 

Recently I met a woman who cares about her body completely, and we formed a deep relationship BEFORE sex.. So after sex there were no games, apologies, confusion, etc..

 

To me the above is only possible if the woman truly cares for herself, and does not have sexual "switches"..Sure, some women can bang tons of guys then finally fall in love, but more often than not something is missing.. The reason she can bang so many guys in the past is because she was emotionally "not all there", and more or less already scorned, bitter, etc.. A mere shadow of her true self.

 

Havw you noticed that no one is judging you for your choices, either in the past or now? Except you are desperate to judge rather than listen. There are so many different views on this thread, views that don't agree with your whole idea of 'switches', people are different. Isn't it good that we can even discuss this?

[carhill]

You meet someone and the chemistry is overpowering ... you go for it... life's meaning is captured in nanosecond... which is more than a lot of people can attest to.

 

Unfortunately, historically, I would have had to abdicate my moral code, as such potential experiences involved people who turned out to be married. I can think of four specifically. Perhaps midlife will bring different experiences and a different perspective. I doubt my morals will change.

 

A whole different thread could result from Erica's response regarding having unemotional sex with an ex. Maybe I'll re-visit that after my divorce is done

[SilkRose]

You are looking at two extremes and completely missing the in-between. Your only examples are a) women who wait until an emotional bond is formed to have sex, and b) women who bang tons of guys and is a "mere shadow of her true self" (LOL by the way).

 

My current boyfriend and I had sex on our first date. It's been almost 2 years now, and I assure you, nothing's missing. :love:

 

Exactly! And I'm talking about something inbetween. I guess I'll just have to see from my own experiences.

[calizaggy]

Let me put it this way..

 

Think of our most basic and true nature..Perhaps the first time we had sex..

 

Men will basically try to bang any girl or woman that will let them.. they cannot wait.. They are fantasizing about sex daily, and it is not involving "love" at all.

 

Now women are quite different.. Usually women have sex for the first time with a guy they atleast think they love.. Not many girls are in a hurry to get banged by anybody.

 

Now over time, many girls can become abused, scorned, hurt, influenced by media etc, and they will drift away from their true nature, which is attaching sex to love.

 

While women CAN physically have casual sex over the years and it does not destroy them, inside they are never truly content with this..A very small % that might have underwent abuse/are bipolar/repeatedly hurt can block out their natural female emotions as a way to protect themselves.

[kiss_andmakeup]

Havw you noticed that no one is judging you for your choices, either in the past or now? Except you are desperate to judge rather than listen. There are so many different views on this thread, views that don't agree with your whole idea of 'switches', people are different. Isn't it good that we can even discuss this?

 

This is an excellent point. Just because something did or didn't work for you, doesn't mean it will/won't work for someone else. You (calizaggy) seem to think that you have the "golden ticket" for women to a perfect life and a perfect relationship. Well, let me explain something. Though I had sex with my boyfriend on the first date, and it ended up working out, I would never insist (let alone, to someone I don't even know) that it's the only right way to go about dating.

 

Just because your girlfriend wanted to wait to have sex, and it ended up working out, does not mean it's the only "right" way to do things. It's great that you hold your relationship in such high regard and I'm glad it worked out for you, but I would think at this point you would have figured out that everyone is different.

[kiss_andmakeup]

Now women are quite different.. Usually women have sex for the first time with a guy they atleast think they love.. Not many girls are in a hurry to get banged by anybody.

 

I disagree...

 

My ONS...was GORGEOUS...probably the hottest man I've ever been with, but dumb as a sack of rocks; love was definitely not on the brain, I was just "in a hurry to get banged by him." :D:cool:

[SilkRose]

Let me put it this way..

 

Think of our most basic and true nature..Perhaps the first time we had sex..

 

Men will basically try to bang any girl or woman that will let them.. they cannot wait.. They are fantasizing about sex daily, and it is not involving "love" at all.

 

Now women are quite different.. Usually women have sex for the first time with a guy they atleast think they love.. Not many girls are in a hurry to get banged by anybody.

 

 

That's not strictly true, girls think about sex a lot too, have fantasties and sexual feelings...why do you think it happens in the first place? You judge so much, how many women would sit down and tell you such personal things? Girls and pressured to have sex by other girls, some feel as if they 'have to get it over with' so they can be left alone - this is alongside the feelings and curiosity that's already there.

[SilkRose]

I disagree...

 

My ONS...was GORGEOUS...probably the hottest man I've ever been with, but dumb as a sack of rocks; love was definitely not on the brain, I was just "in a hurry to get banged by him." :D:cool:

 

Lol! Such honesty!