Sex Without Emotion for Women - Is it possible?

[sally4sara]

I've had casual sex. I was always upfront about my intentions about it prior to any physical interactions. What I noticed often is that even if the situation wasn't what the guy would have preferred, he would still go along with having sex. I get the sense sometimes that societal constructs leave men acting like alley cats who don't know where their next "meal" is coming from so they better gobble this down now! Not to say they are, but men are up against scrutiny if they DO turn down sex. Where women get less acceptance of engaging in casual sex, men get less acceptance for not engaging in casual sex despite the fact that men cause a a higher rate of STD infection. Simple saturation per square inch would, IMO, cause one to need to be more careful, yet they get the stink eye from a willing girl if they turn her down.

For myself however, while I've engaged in casual sex, I have not lied about it (past high school ). I have also never cheated in a monogamous relationship nor struggled to stay monogamous.

 

I do however, support the views of anyone who don't engage in casual sex to desire and expect a similar style out of the partner they choose. In other words, those who do engage in casual sex have no right to look down on someone (of any gender) for being the same. And those who don't engage in casual sex shouldn't have to accept a partner with a casual past.

[USMCHokie]

Ahhh, you do not hate your life. It is unbecoming of a gentleman, remember?!

 

 

 

 

 

Hahah, touche...

[stillafool]

When have any of us said that we enjoy casual sex because of our past?? If you can give me an example, i'm sure that I am more than able to explain.

 

Since none of us have ever said that our sole purpose of having casual sex was because of our past, your arguement is irrelevant.

 

I acknowledge your hatred towards women in general, but for you to assume that females only sleep with males because of our past is not only ignorant, but it's also naive.

 

I think it is easier for men to think that women may want a casual sexual relationship because they've been hurt than to accept the real reason women do it - just purely for the sex alone. That is scary to some men and I don't know why. There was a time when men wanted women to be open to this kind of thing and they weren't. Now that this time has come they don't want it. It's very confusing to me.

[carhill]

This is a valid and useful point, it is only a valid and healthy fear if the man doesn't trust his partner (if so, why cointinue the relationship?) but more positively why not use that fear/insecurity to show the woman in the relationship that she is desired and appreciated? Yes some women can get attractive men easily, so if she's chosen to be in a monogamous relationship with one man, why doesn't he show that he cares and appreciates her attractiveness and all the other qualities that attracted his attention, her intellect, generosity, whatever it is that she has as a person...?

This is, in essence, how our MC sessions went. I'd share a fear. STBX would work dilligently to invalidate it or put it back on me as the responsible party. I hope you nor the man you choose to marry never have to deal with that. BTW, this 'fear' was aligned with my impressions of the thread and was not one I shared in MC. This process, what I'm observing here, is why I seriously doubt I'll share a significant portion of myself with a woman again. Simply, I don't see women taking responsibility and accepting that their actions and perspectives have effects on others.

 

Like I said in a prior post, new information has come to light, none of which I'll share here, which brought me to this thread to understand the dynamic better. Thank you for additionally validating that information. It is genuinely appreciated.

[stillafool]

Women understand men even less. They really do not get us.

 

I would definitely agree with you on this. I don't understand what the hell men want!

[stillafool]

I am not saying every women in the same but from the words written in this thread I get the sense that many are about beating men at their own game. It has this feminist undercurrent to it.[/QUOTE]

 

Why? Just because women want what they want? No woman on here (that I have read) has implied that they want to try casual sex because that's what men do so I'll do it too.)

 

Why is it so hard for you to understand that women have a mind of their own, needs and curiosities. No one is trying to compete with a man. I think women want to be women they just want to do what they want to do.

[stillafool]

Some women can be completely hypocritical.

 

1. Who would you want your son to marry? A girl that views sex as important, or a woman who views sex as a recreational activity with hot guys? Maybe she slept with half the football team, frat, or his coworkers.. How proud would you be?

 

2. What would you call a girl that is banging hot guys at your place of employment just for sex? A SLUT.

 

3. Keep in mind these "sluts" are also the ones banging your husband/boyfriend because they do not need any emotional attachment/relationship for sex. It is just "fun".

 

4. Would you feel more secure with your boyfriend from a disease standpoint if his ex had 2 past partners? Or 50?

 

 

Since sex is sooo easy for any female to get, whether they are 15, obese, ugly, or even mentally handicapped what guy wants a woman that gives it away freely? And the ones that do give it away freely typically are no prize.

 

I would feel MUCH better marrying a woman who holds sex in high regard, than a woman who has no problem banging guys with no emotion attached. Obviously I view the latter woman as someone more likely to cheat.

 

 

You are talking about "relationships" and "marriage". We are talking about "casual sex". Sex to meet your needs. In this type of relationship neither partner wants a relationship or marriage, just sex.

[stillafool]

I don't think women who engage in casual sex should be labelled such. A man isn't labeled like women are, for doing the exact same thing. Why, if a woman does not want a romantic relationship, should she be denied sex? Oh, because people will think less of her for doing so? I have had casual sex, ONS, the lot, I'm not ashamed of that fact. A potential partner can ask me about it, and I'll tell him. To me, women have sexual desires and needs, and when they are single, those needs and desires are still present. Just because a woman has casual sex, does not mean she gives it around freely, or that they aren't a 'prize.' What does that make the men that give it around freely? Are they prizes?

 

I can have sex without emotion. It's all about how you look at it really. If you both go in with the same goal, you can make it work. If it puts you on a downer, it may not be for you. Many women do bond more than men during sex, and therefore struggle with it. That's not to say they aren't capable of casual sex, but it's all about outlook. If you know all it is is sex, but you do it wanting more, don't be shocked if you get hurt. However, if you only want the sex, then it should work. Choose someone who you won't get attached to, that you are attracted to only on a physical level, otherwise there can be complications.

 

 

Excellent Post!

[Jersey Shortie]

Why is it that some guys expect women to be held to a higher moral code then they don't themselves are to be held to? And then to take it a step further, they actually have the ignorance to be outragaged when women don't conform to the ideals they wish women to while they justify their own base actions. Lets look at some comments by Calizaguy.

 

 

Calizaguy:

Men will basically try to bang any girl or woman that will let them.. they cannot wait.. They are fantasizing about sex daily, and it is not involving "love" at all.

 

 

Firstly, let me say that I hope *men* aren't out banging *girls*. And if they are, that's a serious issue.

 

Secondly, men can wait. The fact is they choose not to relay on self control. I do not care if men have strong hormones when it comes to sex. It does not mean that men can behave anyway they please when it comes to their sexuality. And too many men use that as a cop out and excuse to run around and have their fun instead of stepping up and having brevity,respect and self control.

 

Your post seems to give way to the fact that you don't think men should use any self control. Why is that? While men might have a strong sex drive, is that reason enough alone to do as you please? How would that justifcation fly with you coming from a woman about her own hormones? Not well I suspect. To expect something from someone else that you yourself can not provide, is base.

 

 

Now over time, many girls can become abused, scorned, hurt, influenced by media etc, and they will drift away from their true nature, which is attaching sex to love.

 

I think today's women and girls have become abused, hurt and influenced over time with how men treat them. If you as a man, want more from women today, then you and men need to treat women better then current climate has give way do. If so many women are becoming abused, scorned, hurt and influenced, where are the men to stand up for them? Protect them? Show them the *right* path to follow. Lead by example?

 

You do not get what you want by dictating to women to use self control and have high morals if you yourself can not produce these attributes yourself.

 

You can not live with your head in the sand and admit that women today are often mistreated and NOT admit that that's completely male choice and men are shooting themselves in the foot for it. You can not demand respect for your sister or girlfriend from other men if yuo do not give respect to women that are outside of your social circle. It matters less how a man treats the women that are in his family then it matters how a man treats a woman who is no social ties to him and when no one is watching. That is the real measure of a man.

 

You attach all the weight and issues on the world on women's shoulders and completely negate your own responsiblities in how women are treated. Women are incharge of their own choices, just as you are. But do not be so ignorant to expect women to remain sweet little flowers while you get to abuse, use and toss aside other women as you please *until* you decide that you should treat women with some amount of respect when you are ready and be jaded about the state of women these days. The world dosen't work that way.

 

The truth is men have spited themselves. The qualities men claim they want most in women are the ones they slowly have destroyed by their callous selfish attitudes.

 

If you find women jaded today, it's NOT just because of women's choices. It's because we have less and less of good male role models. Less and less strong male leadership to show other guys how to treat women and to show what women deserve. We have less men that are infact men and more boys in men's bodies running around justfiying their behavior on their hormones! Something men HATE when women do themselves. It's so laughable.

 

While women CAN physically have casual sex over the years and it does not destroy them, inside they are never truly content with this..

 

Men that have casual sex are nto truely content either. Because men that seek out repeat causual sex are looking for their own form of validation from members of the opposites ex.

 

Did you know that one of the big reasons men seek out so much sex today, everywhere is their need to feel validated as men? or why basic porn equations are submissive females that are protrayed as wanting so much sex with this man that she can't control herself? You won't deny that you feel somewhat validated as a man when you sleep with a woman.

Men feel a high for a woman having let him have sex with her. So even if a man is having sex with women he considers benenth him, it's all big talk because he is seeking the validation that this woman will *let* him sleep with her. He still feels uncertain of his masculinity and needs to consistanly redefine it with sex with a woman to feel good about himself. His masculinity alone does not make him feel secure.

 

 

Very true! I'm honest but I understand why women would lie, probs out of fear of being dumped and insulted. Women are women, not objects, these terms are part of a double standard that is stupid and doesn't actually help us to talk about casual sex etc. Also if a man refered to any woman, even an ex as a 'slut' or a 'bitch' I would head for the exit. It reveals that he has issues that I can't deal with. It means that he typecasts women, rather than seeing the person. No thanks.

 

So true. Men call women names to keep them down and belittle them. It's just that simple. Any man that calls a woman a four letter word is deeply insecure and attempting to belittle and hold a woman down by his scorn. No one says such words because they truly are stupid enough to believe it will "help" the situation. It's said out of their own fear and hate. That goes for any kind of name calling. Callign a woman a four letter word is no different then making a racial slant agaisnt ethinic groups.

[SilkRose]

I don't think women who engage in casual sex should be labelled such. A man isn't labeled like women are, for doing the exact same thing. Why, if a woman does not want a romantic relationship, should she be denied sex? Oh, because people will think less of her for doing so? I have had casual sex, ONS, the lot, I'm not ashamed of that fact. A potential partner can ask me about it, and I'll tell him. To me, women have sexual desires and needs, and when they are single, those needs and desires are still present. Just because a woman has casual sex, does not mean she gives it around freely, or that they aren't a 'prize.' What does that make the men that give it around freely? Are they prizes?

 

I can have sex without emotion. It's all about how you look at it really. If you both go in with the same goal, you can make it work. If it puts you on a downer, it may not be for you. Many women do bond more than men during sex, and therefore struggle with it. That's not to say they aren't capable of casual sex, but it's all about outlook. If you know all it is is sex, but you do it wanting more, don't be shocked if you get hurt. However, if you only want the sex, then it should work. Choose someone who you won't get attached to, that you are attracted to only on a physical level, otherwise there can be complications.

 

Very true! And you're right about the attachment, some women can, as you have explained...I'm considering your point, if it was just physical maybe it might work for me. There are people who are attractive but I don't have much in common with them, in terms of interests/hobbies. Doesn't mean that I don't respect that person but sometimes that how it is. Perhaps this is the kind of person I could have occasional casual sex with - as I know we just aren't compatible. Good point.

 

I've had casual sex. I was always upfront about my intentions about it prior to any physical interactions. What I noticed often is that even if the situation wasn't what the guy would have preferred, he would still go along with having sex. I get the sense sometimes that societal constructs leave men acting like alley cats who don't know where their next "meal" is coming from so they better gobble this down now! Not to say they are, but men are up against scrutiny if they DO turn down sex. Where women get less acceptance of engaging in casual sex, men get less acceptance for not engaging in casual sex despite the fact that men cause a a higher rate of STD infection. Simple saturation per square inch would, IMO, cause one to need to be more careful, yet they get the stink eye from a willing girl if they turn her down.

For myself however, while I've engaged in casual sex, I have not lied about it (past high school ). I have also never cheated in a monogamous relationship nor struggled to stay monogamous.

 

I do however, support the views of anyone who don't engage in casual sex to desire and expect a similar style out of the partner they choose. In other words, those who do engage in casual sex have no right to look down on someone (of any gender) for being the same. And those who don't engage in casual sex shouldn't have to accept a partner with a casual past.

 

That's a good point too, there are pressures on men in this respect, which is also sad. Whatever your gender, seems like you haven to really make your own decisions and be strong, rather than letting peer pressure/social pressure control you.

 

As for your last point, you are right, hypocrisy is...hypocritical and laughable.

 

And whatever you choose to do, why judge someone else just because they don't want to live as you do? No need for that.

 

I think it is easier for men to think that women may want a casual sexual relationship because they've been hurt than to accept the real reason women do it - just purely for the sex alone. That is scary to some men and I don't know why. There was a time when men wanted women to be open to this kind of thing and they weren't. Now that this time has come they don't want it. It's very confusing to me.

 

Think you're so right! Having to face up to the fact that women want/like/enjoy sex, sometimes casual or occasional casual sex really threatens some men. Doubt these men have any close female friends who they have really discussed these issues with. We are all people after all.

 

Why is it that some guys expect women to be held to a higher moral code then they don't themselves are to be held to? And then to take it a step further, they actually have the ignorance to be outragaged when women don't conform to the ideals they wish women to while they justify their own base actions. Lets look at some comments by Calizaguy.

 

 

 

Firstly, let me say that I hope *men* aren't out banging *girls*. And if they are, that's a serious issue.

 

Secondly, men can wait. The fact is they choose not to relay on self control. I do not care if men have strong hormones when it comes to sex. It does not mean that men can behave anyway they please when it comes to their sexuality. And too many men use that as a cop out and excuse to run around and have their fun instead of stepping up and having brevity,respect and self control.

 

Your post seems to give way to the fact that you don't think men should use any self control. Why is that? While men might have a strong sex drive, is that reason enough alone to do as you please? How would that justifcation fly with you coming from a woman about her own hormones? Not well I suspect. To expect something from someone else that you yourself can not provide, is base.

 

 

 

 

I think today's women and girls have become abused, hurt and influenced over time with how men treat them. If you as a man, want more from women today, then you and men need to treat women better then current climate has give way do. If so many women are becoming abused, scorned, hurt and influenced, where are the men to stand up for them? Protect them? Show them the *right* path to follow. Lead by example?

 

You do not get what you want by dictating to women to use self control and have high morals if you yourself can not produce these attributes yourself.

You can not live with your head in the sand and admit that women today are often mistreated and NOT admit that that's completely male choice and men are shooting themselves in the foot for it. You can not demand respect for your sister or girlfriend from other men if yuo do not give respect to women that are outside of your social circle. It matters less how a man treats the women that are in his family then it matters how a man treats a woman who is no social ties to him and when no one is watching. That is the real measure of a man.

 

You attach all the weight and issues on the world on women's shoulders and completely negate your own responsiblities in how women are treated. Women are incharge of their own choices, just as you are. But do not be so ignorant to expect women to remain sweet little flowers while you get to abuse, use and toss aside other women as you please *until* you decide that you should treat women with some amount of respect when you are ready and be jaded about the state of women these days. The world dosen't work that way.

 

The truth is men have spited themselves. The qualities men claim they want most in women are the ones they slowly have destroyed by their callous selfish attitudes.

 

If you find women jaded today, it's NOT just because of women's choices. It's because we have less and less of good male role models. Less and less strong male leadership to show other guys how to treat women and to show what women deserve. We have less men that are infact men and more boys in men's bodies running around justfiying their behavior on their hormones! Something men HATE when women do themselves. It's so laughable.

 

 

 

Men that have casual sex are nto truely content either. Because men that seek out repeat causual sex are looking for their own form of validation from members of the opposites ex.

 

Did you know that one of the big reasons men seek out so much sex today, everywhere is their need to feel validated as men? or why basic porn equations are submissive females that are protrayed as wanting so much sex with this man that she can't control herself? You won't deny that you feel somewhat validated as a man when you sleep with a woman.

Men feel a high for a woman having let him have sex with her. So even if a man is having sex with women he considers benenth him, it's all big talk because he is seeking the validation that this woman will *let* him sleep with her. He still feels uncertain of his masculinity and needs to consistanly redefine it with sex with a woman to feel good about himself. His masculinity alone does not make him feel secure.

So true. Men call women names to keep them down and belittle them. It's just that simple. Any man that calls a woman a four letter word is deeply insecure and attempting to belittle and hold a woman down by his scorn. No one says such words because they truly are stupid enough to believe it will "help" the situation. It's said out of their own fear and hate. That goes for any kind of name calling. Callign a woman a four letter word is no different then making a racial slant agaisnt ethinic groups.

 

So true! Thanks for your comments!

[SilkRose]

Thanks Jersey Shortie I can't compliment you enough for your statements! So well put!

[meerkat stew]

Little do you know, females do not base their decisions on males.

 

Glad to hear it, as this ends all the debates about whether women have an unhealthy relationship with beauty and their bodies strictly because of male expectations as opposed to their own vanity, and also a whole other raft of female complaints where men are supposedly exercising some hypnotizing "smoky back room" influence over women.

[Jersey Shortie]

Thanks Jersey Shortie I can't compliment you enough for your statements! So well put!

 

Thank SilkRose!

[SilkRose]

Wow, wasn't sure if anyone would answer. Its really interesting to read different views and the stories of so many different women who have tried casual sex and women who know that they can't/won't so it.

 

As it stands I'm thinking, pre-arranged protected sex (condoms are mandatory for me) every 6months/12months with a friend or workmate where the goal is to have enjoyable pleasurable sex without developing bonding/romantic feelings afterwards. The man is question would be someone who I am physically attracted to but don't have a lot in common with. It would be an honest upfront arrangement between two consenting adults so that I can enjoy sex without having to date or be in a relationship. Marriage isn't even a consideration, just enjoyment.

 

I would not do this with someone in a relationship or marriage and if its someone I know, I can check this with other people in advance...men and women at work enjoy gossiping!

 

I think I might try it after my celibacy, which I'll keep to for about 10months or so as I have done so in the past.

[meerkat stew]

This is, in essence, how our MC sessions went. I'd share a fear. STBX would work dilligently to invalidate it or put it back on me as the responsible party...

 

This process, what I'm observing here, is why I seriously doubt I'll share a significant portion of myself with a woman again. Simply, I don't see women taking responsibility and accepting that their actions and perspectives have effects on others.

 

This is a succinct explanation of the attitude growing in many men, MC or no, self included.

[Jersey Shortie]

This process, what I'm observing here, is why I seriously doubt I'll share a significant portion of myself with a woman again. Simply, I don't see women taking responsibility and accepting that their actions and perspectives have effects on others.

 

Welcome to the massive island that many women have inhibited since the dawn of time. Men are no more likely to take resposibility for their actions either and I suspect that is also why women are less giving to men now-a-days.

[SilkRose]

This is, in essence, how our MC sessions went. I'd share a fear. STBX would work dilligently to invalidate it or put it back on me as the responsible party. I hope you nor the man you choose to marry never have to deal with that. BTW, this 'fear' was aligned with my impressions of the thread and was not one I shared in MC. This process, what I'm observing here, is why I seriously doubt I'll share a significant portion of myself with a woman again. Simply, I don't see women taking responsibility and accepting that their actions and perspectives have effects on others.

 

Like I said in a prior post, new information has come to light, none of which I'll share here, which brought me to this thread to understand the dynamic better. Thank you for additionally validating that information. It is genuinely appreciated.

 

Can you provide some examples?

[meerkat stew]

Firstly, let me say that I hope *men* aren't out banging *girls*. And if they are, that's a serious issue.

 

And welcome to another day of women's studies at the junior college.

 

Always begin, class, by associating the male view with some criminal activity engaged in by the lowest common denominator of men. No matter how ridiculous a stretch is required to make such a claim, do so anyway, as the rules of integrity and logical consistency do not apply to us as they do to men and those unfortunate women who do not ascribe to the tenets of the women's studies program. The goal is to simultaneously compartmentalize all men, while reinforcing a victim mentality in women.

 

Then you are free to proceed into a rant about the many abuses that bad men perpetrate on women, regardless of whether such a rant is at all relevant to the topic at hand. The only legitimate topic for discussion is the many ways that men abuse women, do not deviate from this core principle. Ever. It never gets old, at least to -our- ears.

 

If a man brings up a legitimate issue that might detract in some way from the perpetually ongoing discussion of the many ways in which men abuse women, take something he says out of context, make a glib transitory observation that generalizes male behavior, reduce that generalization to equivalence with some criminal activity, and continue the discussion of abusive men as planned. Rinse. Repeat.

 

Class dismissed.

[Jersey Shortie]

Meerkat, the poster in question said that men want to bang girls AND women. If he had just said women, it would have convered it fine. But by throwing girls in there too, it's a little scatchy. Please go back and read his qoute and tell me what exactly did I take out of context.

[Stockalone]

You called women like her untrustworthy sluts.. are there trustworthy sluts?

 

The lying makes my ex untrustworthy and her sexual history makes her a slut in my eyes.

 

 

i got the impression from your post that you were calling women who have casual sex sluts in general.

 

Not in general, no. But on a case-by-case basis, I might think of other women in the same terms as well. I also don't have a problem calling men male sluts or man-whores if they show the same behaviour.

 

 

Very true! I'm honest but I understand why women would lie, probs out of fear of being dumped and insulted. Women are women, not objects, these terms are part of a double standard that is stupid and doesn't actually help us to talk about casual sex etc. Also if a man refered to any woman, even an ex as a 'slut' or a 'bitch' I would head for the exit. It reveals that he has issues that I can't deal with. It means that he typecasts women, rather than seeing the person. No thanks.

 

Fair enough. But that is the same thing I do. If women are "afraid" to get dumped because of their sexual history, hence lie about it, they have issues I don't want to deal with. The reason why they lie is the real problem here.

 

I have never called a woman a slut to her face, not even my ex. But I won't hide the fact that I certainly thought it. There is no reason to be politically correct here either. If you are bothered by this, I can understand it.

 

Again, IMO this enabling is very dangerous. Why shouldn't I have the right to not want a relationship with a woman who used to have casual sex?

 

What gives a woman (or a man) the right to make decisions about what their partner should be okay with?

 

 

Its great that you actually practise what you preach but the word 'slut' is unecessary and offensive, what you're refering to is a 'liar' who lies about having casual sex.

 

I think of her as a slut, so using a different word wouldn't make a difference. I am aware that casual sex is socially accepted, that doesn't mean I have to be okay with it.

 

 

So true. Men call women names to keep them down and belittle them. It's just that simple. Any man that calls a woman a four letter word is deeply insecure and attempting to belittle and hold a woman down by his scorn.

 

That would imply that the man still intends to have some sort of relationship with the woman. If that is the case, you do have a point.

 

In my case, I use it to express my disgust. If my ex had pushed me, I probably would have said it to her face too, but I certainly had no intention of staying with her. I wanted out as soon as possible.

 

 

Callign a woman a four letter word is no different then making a racial slant agaisnt ethinic groups.

 

I don't think they are the same. Calling a woman a slut is done because of something she has done. Racial slants usually have nothing to do with what a person has done, but with something that is outside that person's control (like the colour of their skin, etc.).

[stillafool]

Wow, wasn't sure if anyone would answer. Its really interesting to read different views and the stories of so many different women who have tried casual sex and women who know that they can't/won't so it.

 

As it stands I'm thinking, pre-arranged protected sex (condoms are mandatory for me) every 6months/12months with a friend or workmate where the goal is to have enjoyable pleasurable sex without developing bonding/romantic feelings afterwards. The man is question would be someone who I am physically attracted to but don't have a lot in common with. It would be an honest upfront arrangement between two consenting adults so that I can enjoy sex without having to date or be in a relationship. Marriage isn't even a consideration, just enjoyment.

 

I would not do this with someone in a relationship or marriage and if its someone I know, I can check this with other people in advance...men and women at work enjoy gossiping!

 

I think I might try it after my celibacy, which I'll keep to for about 10months or so as I have done so in the past.

 

My advice, if you do decide on casual sex, is to not have it with anyone you work with. You will see that person everyday and may end up developing feelings for him. I would look outside of my workplace.

[meerkat stew]

Meerkat, the poster in question said that men want to bang girls AND women.

 

Have read the whole ridiculous thread, not going to reread it. You know good and well what you did there, and you also know good and well the poster was not suggesting or implying sex with children.

 

Instead of just admitting that or letting it drop, you crank up the rationalization machine and in so doing, provide evidence of the attitude carhill diplomatically tiptoes around calling out in his more pointed posts to this thread. I'm not so diplomatic. It's a fault of mine. I have faults, lots of them, and make mistakes every day. Most women on these forums could easily type those words I just typed, yet not mean a blessed one of them, and that's the issue.

 

How this bears on the thread topic is that there are many men out there, self included, who would be very welcoming of women who were capable of having sex without emotions, of having tons of FWB and ONS, provided that women didn't perpetually lie about which they were, conservative or promiscuous. The condition of our acceptance is that if we are expected to treat you as chivalrous gentlemen, to limit ourselves, you at least have to be upfront and consistent in your attitudes and behaviors.

 

No one wants to end up with someone who can be Connie Chaste one day and Randy Rhonda the next depending on whatever impulse strikes her in the moment. Or more pointedly, we could tolerate even this if she would only admit that she has a thoroughly inconsistent disposition. Then we would know up front not to give her any special treatment as a lady, to be taken care of, as she is no different from us. Yet women think this dual nature is just fine and dandy, their privilege even. "A woman has a right to change her mind" translates into "A woman has the absolute privilege to remain completely inconsistent in all aspects of her life."

 

The problem lies, as it so often does these days, with women who want it all, free casual sex at the same time they are accepting special treatment from men due to an illusion of at least some chastity, a lie, created specifically to derive maximum use from men, "I wanted to get laid on Tuesday, so visited my FWB. On Wednesday, I wanted to feel like a lady, so I let my date take me out for an expensive night on the town. I know he wouldn't even ask me out, let alone pay, if he knew my true sexual behavior, because he is looking for a "nice girl." I'm great at playing the nice girl, so let's just keept that a little secret."

 

We figure these things out in time, regardless of how stupid you think we are. No one wants to date, let alone form a relationship with or marry the "Three Faces of Eve."

[SilkRose]

My advice, if you do decide on casual sex, is to not have it with anyone you work with. You will see that person everyday and may end up developing feelings for him. I would look outside of my workplace.

 

I see your point, I def wouldn't do anything with my boss, other people are friends and workmates so cutting them out would make my options even smaller. However you do make a good point.

 

Merkat, please stop picking on Jersey, he stated his views very well.

[SilkRose]

Connie Chaste one day and Randy Rhonda

 

The problem lies, as it so often does these days, with women who want it all, free casual sex at the same time they are accepting special treatment from men due to an illusion of at least some chastity, a lie, created specifically to derive maximum use from men.

 

No one wants to date, let alone form a relationship with or marry the "Three Faces of Eve."

 

Connie Chaste and Randy Rhonda. LMAO!

Where are these women from...the 70s?

 

Women who share your values are out there, so you are catered for. Men who want casual sex are clearly out there, and in my case perhaps close by so after my long period of celibacy, I may have sex with one of these men. Condoms aren't easily purchased.

 

Securing a relationship or marriage are not the subject of this thread.

 

We are both catered for in this way. You can get what you want, so can I. What's the problem?

[stillafool]

The problem lies, as it so often does these days, with women who want it all, free casual sex at the same time they are accepting special treatment from men due to an illusion of at least some chastity, a lie, created specifically to derive maximum use from men, "I wanted to get laid on Tuesday, so visited my FWB. On Wednesday, I wanted to feel like a lady, so I let my date take me out for an expensive night on the town. I know he wouldn't even ask me out, let alone pay, if he knew my true sexual behavior, because he is looking for a "nice girl." I'm great at playing the nice girl, so let's just keept that a little secret."

 

We figure these things out in time, regardless of how stupid you think we are. No one wants to date, let alone form a relationship with or marry the "Three Faces of Eve."

 

Yes please stop picking on Jersey. Women can say the same thing about men Meer. We can say well since this guy has slept around with women he wasn't in love with and tested the waters before he met me; he is not good enough to cook for, clean for, have sex with only him, have his children and be his wife. You see it works both ways.