Why do men 37 yrs and up start to look like my grandpa?

[Woggle]

I would rather look old than look fake which is all that botox and plastic surgery do.

[Twenty-ten]

Sometimes 20 years older- and I am not kidding.

 

 

You don't even have to tell me twice. I completely believe you!

[D-Lish]

You don't even have to tell me twice. I completely believe you!

 

Well herein lies our dilemma- the guys our age that do take care of themselves and look great- well, they date younger chicks, lol.

[Twenty-ten]

Now that I am thinking about this more profoundly after discussing it here, I think what men have against them is that they don't get to use all the products that we women do to make themselves look better. We get to use make-up and we dye our hair and we don't lose our hair, and if we still have nice figures we can still pull off wearing a lot of the same outfits that some of the younger women wear, with the exception of the slutty club gear which always looks ridiculous on older women no matter how great she looks body-wise.

 

I sort of feel bad for guys now... But still there are some guys who lose their hair or go gray and could potentially look older and yet they don't because they keep a more youthful appearance overall. I guess it can be achieved if they put some effort into it, and attitude does make a huge difference. I find the attitude of a lot of the older guys is like they have really thrown in the towel it makes me sad for them. A woman tends to keep a more youthful outlook overall that is what I have been trying to say all along really. Not all women of course but in comparison I see it more this way than the other way around.

[Woggle]

Many of those obsessed with appearance older women are miserable.

[Twenty-ten]

Well herein lies our dilemma- the guys our age that do take care of themselves and look great- well, they date younger chicks, lol.

 

As I mentioned earlier to all the guys on here who said they still look good for their age, they don't know how desirable they really are. Ultimately these guys that actually look like they are in their early 40s are in very high demand.

 

I think you also just answered the question that someone asked earlier about women dating younger men and why being a cougar is so popular these days. That is the answer right there. I am with someone a few years younger and it totally works for me, the last time I went out with someone who was considerably older was when I was 16 and it happened to be one of the x's who contacted me on FB, the one that this is about.

 

My girlfriend is 41 she met her soulmate in Hawaii last year, they met while she was there on work and he is 28 they are getting married this summer. She looks very young for her age she gets told 20's all the time and she really does look that young, and you see her with her guy and you'd never guess the big age difference. I don't know too many guys at 41 that could date a 28 yr old woman and look the same age. That's what I mean.

[peanut butter]

I see women all the time in their 30's and 40's who do and wear whatever they can to look young. Walking around the mall with their 13 year old daughter dressed in the same clothes. And you know what? They look pathetic.

 

I'm not saying that they shouldn't try to look good, but if you're 35, don't try to look like you're 20. You look stupid and insecure.

 

BTW I feel the same way about guys over 40 who walk around in Affliction t-shirts and designer jeans and fake tans. You don't look cool. You look like an idiot.

[meerkat stew]

Well herein lies our dilemma- the guys our age that do take care of themselves and look great- well, they date younger chicks, lol.

 

At 42-45, My last five GFs over the last four years were 45, 39, 23, 33, and 45, from earliest to most recent, and 7,10,8,8,7 in looks rating. Maybe I'm the exception, but all my single friends my age are dating women in their 40s also.

 

Some of us appreciate women in our age range and don't always go strictly for looks, though if a hot 20 something comes after -us-, what are we suppostado?

[carhill]

I just don't know what to say...without coming across cold. I wish I could return the compliments and can't.

 

The bolded part is good IMO....say that. Sometimes, straightforward honesty (regarding your inner struggle between perception and decorum) is the best policy.

[Twenty-ten]

The bolded part is good IMO....say that. Sometimes, straightforward honesty (regarding your inner struggle between perception and decorum) is the best policy.

 

That's hurtful though? That's the thing he is such a great guy and I do have some very fond memories of our teen-age relationship so I couldn't say something hurtful to him. I want so badly to return the nice compliments he pays me and I do in round about ways talking more about our past but can't lie to him about how he hasn't change at all when he clearly has.

 

Facebook is a funny place...

[Twenty-ten]

I see women all the time in their 30's and 40's who do and wear whatever they can to look young. Walking around the mall with their 13 year old daughter dressed in the same clothes. And you know what? They look pathetic.

 

I'm not saying that they shouldn't try to look good, but if you're 35, don't try to look like you're 20. You look stupid and insecure.

 

Totally agree, "age appropriate" are the key words.

[mem11363]

I work in software technology where most of the folks have at least an undergrad degree. The guys I know in their 40s/50s are non smokers, light drinkers, and most of them work out. They look healthy and fit - and they are healthy and fit.

 

 

Why is it that men over 35 start to look really old. Men over 40, forget it. I have been contacted by ex-boyfriends on facebook and I cannot believe how old they look and they are barely over 40. They are shocked at how I haven't changed much since we were in our 20's (their words not mine) and yet I don't even know what to say back. I've put on 10 lbs in 15 yrs yet some of them have put on like 60lbs they don't even look like the same men. Another one is bald and has a grey beard and he is only 40. I could barely make the connection when he contacted me.

 

Do I lie and tell them they look good when they clearly don't? What do you say to someone who looks old and unattractive?

 

What is up with men over 40 looking like a much older, sometimes very overweight, man? 40 is not old, so why do women still look considerably better than men at 40 for the most part?

[SadandConfusedWA]

Yep, I fully agree. The guy that I dated 5 years ago is now 34, and when I saw him again, I could not beleive how much he aged. He has deep frown lines/wrinkles, deep network of lines around his eyes, gained weight and is losing his hair. I just do not get people that say that men age "better". I still don't have a single wrinkle on my face, have thick long hair (not a single gray) and am the same weight as 5 years ago. WTF? It wasn't even his looks, it was his whole attitude. He was so serious and boring. He was TOO mature.

 

Also, many men around my office that are 35+ dress horribly and look very old and are just dull. I really don't buy the whole men age better, men just THINK that they age better. It's more socially acceptable for them to date younger women than vice versa.

[sumdude]

I'll be 42 in a couple of weeks and look better today than when I was 38. Hell better than when I was 35. Probably the best I've looked since 30. Then again at 38 I was 60 lbs overweight, drinking too much. My mom had just passed away and I was married to a woman with more issues than a magazine.

 

Yeah, I let myself go. I was under so much stress. Watching my mother slowly go to cancer, trying to manage debt, had the worst boss in the world..married to a pathological liar. Basically I was hating life and just getting through it. When my wife left me I went into total rebuild mode. Lost 50 lbs in six months etc etc

 

But I had the time to do it. I was divorced with no kids.

 

Right around 35-40 s*** starts happening in life. Parents get sick, need care, pass away. Children need rearing, bills need paying, cars need fixing et al. My married friends with kids? Yeah they're mostly looking paunchy and pale. More and more jobs require no physical exertion. We sit in front of computers all day. We sit in our cars or the bus or subway. Our modern western (particularly the USA) lifestyle completely contributes to poor health and weight issues. Most couples I know both work. The second they're off work it's full time family mode. By the time dinner is made, homework is done, soccer practice is over and just a few minutes to chill then sleep. Who the heck has time to even make it to the gym?

 

I see a pretty even distribution amongst men and women in my age group though I think it may affect the male physique a bit more than the female. We didn't evolve to sit on our a$$e# all day.

[Woggle]

I thought men were just overgrown babies but now we are too mature?

 

I think is an example of why many men take the accept me for who I am approach as they get older. They realize that they can't win with women and are damned if they do and damned if they don't. At a certain age they realize that pleasing women is a futile effort so why even try?

[yeex]

From what I noticed, it is more of the married couples (men and women) that tend to let themselves go. Getting too comfortable in the relationship. Also busy raising a family and such can leave little room for exercise. So yeah, i have seen it in both sexes.

 

I went to my 20 year high school reunion this year and no, I was not really impressed with how most of the women kept themselves. Except for a few which were an exception. They were probably the singles ones..lol.

 

Anyways, I am approaching forty and I eat right and exercise regularly and have all my hair, play music, and have an active lifestyle, so I am glad I don't fit your description of males my age, because yeah, that would suck. I'll make sure to stay on top of it if I get married.

[tincanman99]

It depends on the guy as it depends on the woman. There are men that look old at 40 and there are women that do as well.

 

Though in my opinion men at 40 seem to stop taking care of themselves. I see this with my coworkers. There are all in their 40s and frankly look like old men. They are all over weight, have big bellys and wear clothes that are old. And they are uptight, very uptight and conservative. All talk about golf non-stop.

 

For example?

 

iPhone, iPod, whats that, LinkedIn? Whats that? Britney who? Justin who ?

 

They are totally out of touch with whats contemporary. I attribute to this being they are totally wrapped up with their kids, wives and houses (which most of the time is a boat anchor around their necks).

 

Several things contribute to it though:

 

1. Diet (to much processed food, carbs and sugar)

2. Exercise (lack there of)

3. Stress (climbing the corporate ladder + family)

4. Genetics - I have seen that people that are of Mediterranean stock or Latin America age better than people from northern Europe.

5. Lifestyle

[prettybaby]

lol this thread is so stupid.

[yeex]

lol this thread is so stupid.

Haha..right?? I feel like i am back in junior high..lol

[Twenty-ten]

lol this thread is so stupid.

 

So is your user name, you don't hear anyone complaining about that.

[Twenty-ten]

It depends on the guy as it depends on the woman. There are men that look old at 40 and there are women that do as well.

 

Though in my opinion men at 40 seem to stop taking care of themselves. I see this with my coworkers. There are all in their 40s and frankly look like old men. They are all over weight, have big bellys and wear clothes that are old. And they are uptight, very uptight and conservative. All talk about golf non-stop.

 

For example?

 

iPhone, iPod, whats that, LinkedIn? Whats that? Britney who? Justin who ?

 

They are totally out of touch with whats contemporary. I attribute to this being they are totally wrapped up with their kids, wives and houses (which most of the time is a boat anchor around their necks).

 

 

This is exactly what I am talking about, men after a certain age just lose touch with anything remotely current, this makes them appear a lot older than they actually are.

 

I like all the excuses that people are saying here for being married and not working out and staying fit. I have many married couple friends in my group of friends and family they range everywhere in age from early 30's to early 40's all the men and women in my group are fit, they find time to go to the gym and have been doing so since their kids were babies.

 

There is no excuse for letting yourself go, no excuse whatsoever, I see living proof of young parents who make time for themselves to look after their appearance and if they can do it a single man in his late 30's and early 40's can too. This applies to women as well.

 

No excuse, sorry.

[Jersey Shortie]

So is your user name, you don't hear anyone complaining about that.

 

So droll and unoriginal. *sigh* I was hoping for something more engaging.

Such as when you lectured about rudeness and then slammed the poster afterwards. Now that was entertainment.

 

Is it possible part of this is an Eastcoast v. Westcoast thing? Many of the late thirties and over men here, on the Westcoast, don't look like grandfathers. There's perhaps more stress put on a relatively active and healthy lifestyle.

 

No. It's an individual poster thing. I do not encounter the same issue as the OP and I am younger then she is. I think both men and women, as they age, have the ability to do so with grace or not. It's not particular to a gender group. I will say though that I do think women make slightly more an effort to take care of themselves. We are usually the group more likely to admit to a problem health wise, visit the doctor to get help, or read magazines and articles on how to improve ourselves with self help. Men are less inclined to ask for help and think they can handle the problem themselves. So maybe instead of crtizing men, we should promote a climate that makes them feel like they CAN take care of themselves and ask for help and not be less of a man for it.

[Twenty-ten]

So droll and unoriginal. *sigh* I was hoping for something more engaging.

 

Read a book or rent a movie, I'm not here to entertain you. I'm here to discuss my observation and to tackle an answer to my original question.

 

 

I do not encounter the same issue as the OP and I am younger then she is. I think both men and women, as they age, have the ability to do so with grace or not. It's not particular to a gender group.

It is particular to gender. Most women in my age group would agree, as you have already seen here by the responses, even men in the same age group agree because they feel they themselves stand out in a sea of 40 yr old grandpappies.

 

When I was younger I didn't notice either, much like yourself. It was either the guys in and around my age group I noticed or everyone else who was just "older". When you get older you realize how you change over the years vs others and it is a huge eye opener to what happens to men after a certain age.

[burning 4 revenge]

Not keeping up with contemporary pop music/culture does not mean they don't keep up with "whats contemporary"

 

Some of those guys know a lot more about whats going on in their marketplaces (on a worldwide scale) on a second by second basis than most of us and they would find keeping up with pop culture ridiculous and childish

 

That being said I agree more middle aged men are out of shape than middle aged women

[meerkat stew]

This is exactly what I am talking about, men after a certain age just lose touch with anything remotely current, this makes them appear a lot older than they actually are.

 

Define "anything remotely current." Would that include computers, gadgets or anything involving technology? quality music? automobiles, or the internet by chance? Will give you the opportunity to bow out of the above statement gracefully, and won't even get into who actually creates or invents most of what is "current." I'm nice like that

 

I have many married couple friends in my group of friends and family they range everywhere in age from early 30's to early 40's all the men and women in my group are fit, they find time to go to the gym and have been doing so since their kids were babies.

 

And I have many married couple friends in my group of friends and family in the same age range, and whereas the wife has put on 50 pounds since marriage, by and large, the guy looks like he always did. There are some exceptions, but they are relatively few. I don't see near the same number of guys that "blow up" after marriage as women.

 

Now admittedly, this has lots to do with the stresses of pregnancy, but in most cases I see, the woman makes little effort to get back her body after children. And while we are at it, men accept this fairly gracefully as part of becoming a family. Wonder what the result would be if I started a thread "Why do women who have had children start to look like my grandma?" The replies to that thread wouldn't be pretty, would they?