Men and Women and Porn and Strip Clubs

[MissConduct]

On the otherhand, he doesn't go to strip clubs, since the atmosphere turns him off. I could see him going with the boys for a bach party though and there's no way I would emasculate him by putting my foot down on it.

 

You either trust your guy or not and if you don't, why are you with him?

 

 

Well then if he doesn't go then I don't understand why are you would use him as an example here? Could you trust him if he was going was going from time to time? No one said a guy can't go one or whenever there may be the odd bachelor party. We are talking about guys who go. Who feel the need to go as entertainment from time to time. And yeah even the types of guys who have bachelor parties every single month. I had a friend who's boyfriend had bachelor parties every darn month.

[You'reasian]

If a woman doesn't want her man going to strip clubs and looking at porn, all she has to do is keep him coming home and staying - ladies, this isn't a challenge

 

On another note, ladies, you can't have your cake and eat it too - we know you ladies do similar things you're just better at not getting caught - and if you do, you can't expect your guy to do something that you are not

[MissConduct]

A platonic friend and a stripper are different on a lot of levels. If you can't see that already then I'm not even going to bother explaining. You're grasping for air on this one.

 

No, you can't explain what the difference is. So I guess that means I prove my point. Ther IS no difference.

 

Explain how and why they are different.

 

Point is, your honest and faithful man wouldn't let it get so far as him being in a dark corner with some stripper all over him, to be honest, he probably wouldn't let her touch him. Give me a break. If that were the case then his lack of self control isn't due to where he's at, its due to him....and his lack of self control lol. He could end up with a broad all over him anywhere.

 

I'll take it a step further, my honest and straight up guy won't put himself in a position in front of my eyes to make even wonder if he does or not. Simple.

 

In a dark corner? With a stripper gyrating all over him? These scenarios sound like a common phobia among women the more and more its repeated on this board.

 

yeah because that NEVER happens at a strip club. Feminist women just make that up. :laugh:

 

Get a grip will you? Don't bother defending it we are all adults and we all know EXACTLY what goes on at strip clubs. If you were born yesterday, then my next question is "how did you learn to type so quickly?"

[MissConduct]

If a woman doesn't want her man going to strip clubs and looking at porn, all she has to do is keep him coming home and staying - ladies, this isn't a challenge

 

 

For the record I have no problem with porn, so long as he still comes to me and it doesn't interfere with our sexual and emotional life together.

[IrishCarBomb]

Which means that even if you're not the kind of guy who "goes" to strip clubs, even if you think they're funny and kind-of nasty, and you're only there cause it's a night out with the boys and no woman can control you... you will probably find a girl that you like. Even if you weren't looking.

 

I'm sure there are tons of different types of strippers, but they all have one constant: their attention is conditional on being paid. I guess I'm strange in this regard; I just can never ignore "the elephant in the room" about strip clubs.

[MissConduct]

I'm sure there are tons of different types of strippers, but they all have one constant: their attention is conditional on being paid. I guess I'm strange in this regard; I just can never ignore "the elephant in the room" about strip clubs.

 

 

Yet you yourself have even admitted earlier in this thread, elephant in the room and all, to getting so carried away in the atmosphere and many $$ later to crossing lines with them. It's inevitable, who wouldn't? It's sex afterall.

[You'reasian]

For the record I have no problem with porn, so long as he still comes to me and it doesn't interfere with our sexual and emotional life together.

 

The more you entertain his sexual life, the less he will look at porn. Simple.

 

and if he's creative and motivated, he'll return the favor

[mr.dream merchant]

A platonic friend and a stripper are different on a lot of levels. If you can't see that already then I'm not even going to bother explaining. You're grasping for air on this one.

 

No, you can't explain what the difference is. So I guess that means I prove my point. Ther IS no difference.

 

Explain how and why they are different.

 

 

 

I'll take it a step further, my honest and straight up guy won't put himself in a position in front of my eyes to make even wonder if he does or not. Simple.

 

 

 

yeah because that NEVER happens at a strip club. Feminist women just make that up. :laugh:

 

Get a grip will you? Don't bother defending it we are all adults and we all know EXACTLY what goes on at strip clubs. If you were born yesterday, then my next question is "how did you learn to type so quickly?"

 

Wow, you and JerseyShortie share the same mental handicap. Look we all know what the **** goes on in Strip Clubs. But where you're wrong is assuming that every guy is going to participate in that activity. And where you're also wrong is assuming that a guy can and WILL participate in infidelity when he steps foot in a Strip Club, regardless of his marital status and the occasion which he is in the Strip Club for. Accept it, move on, get over it.

 

You're done. Sit down.

[IrishCarBomb]

Yet you yourself have even admitted earlier in this thread, elephant in the room and all, to getting so carried away in the atmosphere and many $$ later to crossing lines with them. It's inevitable, who wouldn't? It's sex afterall.

 

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

 

Forgive my laughter... I just thought you would see the sarcasm in this post:

 

I can't count how many times I've gone into a strip club, lost complete control over myself due to the sexually-charged atmosphere, and wound up getting oral from a stripper! Whoops!

 

I thought my sarcasm/humor would've been even more clearly presented because the very next post was about how I think strippers are unpatriotic because they do not pay their taxes on their bj money.

 

Honestly, sometimes I wonder why I ever post serious things....

[MissConduct]

The more you entertain his sexual life, the less he will look at porn. Simple.

 

 

 

Gees thanks I really had no clue I had to actually have sex with my guy. Thanks so much for the invaluable information!

 

To be honest I have no clue if my guys looks at porn or not, I would assume he does, it doesn't really concern me in the least actually.

I assume everyone uses porn from time to time, who cares. It's not about about not being satisfied sexually with your partner it is about using a quick way to get off. Porn really doesn't threaten me a naked chick rubbing her cooze all over my man does. It's just gross, for me that is.

[mr.dream merchant]

Gees thanks I really had no clue I had to actually have sex with my guy. Thanks so much for the invaluable information!

 

To be honest I have no clue if my guys looks at porn or not, I would assume he does, it doesn't really concern me in the least actually.

I assume everyone uses porn from time to time, who cares. It's not about about not being satisfied sexually with your partner it is about using a quick way to get off. Porn really doesn't threaten me a naked chick rubbing her cooze all over my man does. It's just gross, for me that is.

 

I'm sure your man would be equally turned off if you thought so little of him that he'd actually let that happen. NEEEEEXT!

[You'reasian]

Gees thanks I really had no clue I had to actually have sex with my guy. Thanks so much for the invaluable information!.

 

Anytime. The "hunny, not tonite" or "why do we have to have sex every night" lines have gotta drop lol

 

To be honest I have no clue if my guys looks at porn or not, I would assume he does, it doesn't really concern me in the least actually.

I assume everyone uses porn from time to time, who cares. It's not about about not being satisfied sexually with your partner it is about using a quick way to get off. Porn really doesn't threaten me a naked chick rubbing her cooze all over my man does. It's just gross, for me that is.

 

That's reasonable.

[MissConduct]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

 

Forgive my laughter... I just thought you would see the sarcasm in this post:

I thought my sarcasm/humor would've been even more clearly presented because the very next post was about how I think strippers are unpatriotic because they do not pay their taxes on their bj money.

 

Honestly, sometimes I wonder why I ever post serious things....

 

 

I take you very seriously IrishCarBomb. I saw the next post about the tax money as you showcasing attributes for political platforming. I was actually going to ask you when your campaign was due to come out but I guess that was a lie too.

 

yeah ok I went back and reread it and now I realize you were being sarcastic. The first time I read it, I didn't see the irony and completely missed the following post. So let's just forget my last post to you then, oops and sorry.

[annieo]

If a woman doesn't want her man going to strip clubs and looking at porn' date=' all she has to do is keep him coming home and staying - ladies, this isn't a challenge :[/quote']

 

3 days before my h went to a strip clubs and had 3 "table" dances (according to him, and he's a liar) while with his boss on a "business" trip, I did a lingerie show for my h. Touching me was free, as was everything else, and we had what I recall to be a raunchy, fabulous time in the living room, kitchen (kids were out of the house). This kind of thing used to happen pretty regularly, UNTIL I found out that he lied to me on countless occasions about going to clubs, including this last business trip time.

 

Since then, don't really want to do this so much. Lingerie lays unused in my drawer. I can't trust him, and for a woman who isn't getting paid to do so, you only let yourself go with someone you trust. In fact, I imagine that even if you're getting paid, you don't really let yourself go. It's just an act. With me, before, it was real.

 

So I'm sorry, but you're wrong. My man acted like a greedy child who never though he's get caught. We had stupid fun in and out of bed, had loving vanilla sex as well as dirty red and purple sex, and he still turned around betrayed me, lied to me.

 

Explain that to me, oh wise men of LS, because I don't get it. BTW (not that it should matter) I'm pretty, slim and get come on vibes/looks/comments on a regular basis (which, ironically, make my h jealous) - so he didn't go to the peeler because I'm unattractive.

 

If someone can shed some light on this, I'd really appreciate it. All I've ever gotten out of my h is that it was a stupid mistake (which he made many times over) didn't mean anything, peer pressure, blah blah blah. What a load of crap.

[Trialbyfire]

My God!!! A common-sense approach to this?!?!? WHY DO YOU LET YOUR MAN WALK ALL OVER YOU?!?!?!?

 

Edit: RABBLE!!!

I got it without the RABBLE!

 

Well then if he doesn't go then I don't understand why are you would use him as an example here? Could you trust him if he was going was going from time to time? No one said a guy can't go one or whenever there may be the odd bachelor party. We are talking about guys who go. Who feel the need to go as entertainment from time to time. And yeah even the types of guys who have bachelor parties every single month. I had a friend who's boyfriend had bachelor parties every darn month.

I wouldn't be with a guy who NEEDED to go to a strip club or one who was hooked on porn. For that matter, I wouldn't stay with someone long-term I didn't trust, who didn't share core values.

 

The feeling of distrust is a horrible feeling. Life's too short to live that way. The easiest way to get rid of that feeling, is to walk away from someone who gives you no reason to trust him unless you're feeling this way with everyone you date. Then you have to fix your distrust in your own gut instincts.

[MissConduct]

I'm sure your man would be equally turned off if you thought so little of him that he'd actually let that happen. NEEEEEXT!

 

 

He doesn't go, therefore he gives me 0 reason to think low of him or be turned off. Capiche?

 

If he had a bachelor party to go to I can trust that he would behave because he doesn't go, he has no need to be there. It's not a "pass time" for him. I wouldn't be with a man who needs a strip club as a pass time or time killer, simple. I tend to go out with guys who play sports to get their adrenaline going and some bonding and beers in with the guys.

[annieo]

And also, I was not anti-strip club before all this. We had gone together, although I was part intrigued, part guilty. But he knew I would be ok if he told me about it. It's only mushroomed into this nightmare because he lied, which makes me wonder what really goes on there, when the wifey doesn't tag along.

[You'reasian]

3 days before my h went to a strip clubs and had 3 "table" dances (according to him, and he's a liar) while with his boss on a "business" trip, I did a lingerie show for my h. Touching me was free, as was everything else, and we had what I recall to be a raunchy, fabulous time in the living room, kitchen (kids were out of the house). This kind of thing used to happen pretty regularly, UNTIL I found out that he lied to me on countless occasions about going to clubs, including this last business trip time.

 

I can't speak for your husbands case, but if a gf of mine did something sexy & seductive, we'd probably be busy all weekend

[MissConduct]

I wouldn't be with a guy who NEEDED to go to a strip club or one who was hooked on porn. For that matter, I wouldn't stay with someone long-term I didn't trust, who didn't share core values.

 

 

Exactly, and that is my point too. Needing to go is the same as going from time to time as far as I am concerned "needing" is what some of these guys are saying here "so what if from time to time me and the boys want a night out at the peeler joint?" So if you say "you either trust a man or you don't" then why would you not be with a man who goes from time to time or into porn?

I mean you say "hooked on porn" what like Dave Doucovney who turns out he has a porn addiction? No woman in their right mind would willingly and knowingly intiate a relationship be with a man who has an addiction. But define "hooked on porn".

[mr.dream merchant]

And also, I was not anti-strip club before all this. We had gone together, although I was part intrigued, part guilty. But he knew I would be ok if he told me about it. It's only mushroomed into this nightmare because he lied, which makes me wonder what really goes on there, when the wifey doesn't tag along.

 

To be honest its your man's fault all of that **** happened. The strip club has zero to do with it. Don't blame strippers and whatever else you can to lessen the fact that your man is the problem.

[MissConduct]

And also, I was not anti-strip club before all this. We had gone together, although I was part intrigued, part guilty. But he knew I would be ok if he told me about it. It's only mushroomed into this nightmare because he lied, which makes me wonder what really goes on there, when the wifey doesn't tag along.

 

 

You know what Annie, just goes to show you it doesn't matter how "cool" you are about is a woman, wife, girlfriend, if he is going to go there to cross lines he is going to do it anyway even if you were the one who was all cool and great about it initially.

 

A man who lies about that is out the door for me as far as I am concerned. SO to avoid any miscommunication better get that out in the open early. What is your take on strip clubs? I have dated men who were quite open about the fact they like to go "from time to time" I knew this would not fly with me, so not for me. Then I ended up in relationships with men who claimed they thought it was foolish not into it, and when the opportunity came along they passed, with no expectactions from me they just didn't go. Even when all their friends were going simply because they practiced what they preached.

 

It's simple you are either into it or not.

[MissConduct]

To be honest its your man's fault all of that **** happened. The strip club has zero to do with it. Don't blame strippers and whatever else you can to lessen the fact that your man is the problem.

 

Can you not read? when did she blame strippers? She blames her man a man SHE TRUSTED a man she was totally cool with him going to strippers and open about it, yet he betrayed he trust anyway.

[carhill]

If someone can shed some light on this, I'd really appreciate it.

Pretty simple, for most men. If you could appear differently to him with regularity, whilst retaining all those great attributes he loves in his mate, he'd be forever yours and yours only at every level. I remember a Star Trek episode where a changeling appeared as any woman the man desired, even though its natural state was a hideous monster. Very instructive.

 

Men (I'd say most, not all) like visual variety. A familiar visual pattern gets to be that, familiar. It doesn't lessen his love and loyalty, rather his visuo-sexual stimulation. IMO, the only way to change that is to change the wiring of his brain.

[Trialbyfire]

Exactly, and that is my point too. Needing to go is the same as going from time to time as far as I am concerned "needing" is what some of these guys are saying here "so what if from time to time me and the boys want a night out at the peeler joint?" So if you say "you either trust a man or you don't" then why would you not be with a man who goes from time to time or into porn?

Refer to my comment about core values. If he enjoyed the atmosphere, enough to want to go to the peeler bar on a regular basis, then he wouldn't be sharing my core values, now would he? With this in mind, I wouldn't be with him.

 

You have to understand that most of his friends are family men. They don't hit peeler bars or get piss drunk with the boys, on a regular basis. A boys night out pretty much consists of a poker game at someone's house or going to a hockey or football game.

 

Beyond that, we ALL get together, men and their SOs. It's always a good time.

 

He goes out every Friday night with his partners, where they dine at the same restaurant. They have standing reservations there.

I mean you say "hooked on porn" what like Dave Doucovney who turns out he has a porn addiction? No woman in their right mind would willingly and knowingly intiate a relationship be with a man who has an addiction. But define "hooked on porn".

Watching a bit of porn is one thing. NEEDING it, is something else. If he needed it, at the expense of the relationship where our sex life was suffering from it, he can go NEED it by himself.

 

For that matter, why would you stay with someone who's into porn, when it bothers you?

[annieo]

You know what Annie, just goes to show you it doesn't matter how "cool" you are about is a woman, wife, girlfriend, if he is going to go there to cross lines he is going to do it anyway even if you were the one who was all cool and great about it initially.

 

A man who lies about that is out the door for me as far as I am concerned. SO to avoid any miscommunication better get that out in the open early. What is your take on strip clubs? I have dated men who were quite open about the fact they like to go "from time to time" I knew this would not fly with me, so not for me. Then I ended up in relationships with men who claimed they thought it was foolish not into it, and when the opportunity came along they passed, with no expectactions from me they just didn't go. Even when all their friends were going simply because they practiced what they preached.

 

It's simple you are either into it or not.

 

I was open - I said my only issue was with dishonesty and lap dances. He said that was fine, he didn't go often and never had dances. Then, he lied and had dances. WTF?

 

Personally, I think that he liked to have this secret thing going on, that I didn't know about, as it made it more forbidden, which I am beginning to think is the whole point.

 

Anyway, it fu#ked up our relationship, from my point of view. We're still together, he seems to love me just as much as he ever did, but I don't feel the same way about him. Part of me is held back now, like I'm waiting for the next major blow.