Men and Women and Porn and Strip Clubs

[mr.dream merchant]

This one doesn't apply to me, as I do not find strip clubs erotic at all. To me it is fake, hollow, dirty, and anything buy sexy.

 

 

 

The way it matches up to the action is that I don't go for sexual gratification. I've never found it sexy. I don't have to exercise self-control because there is no temptation.

 

This is where we just are not going to see eye to eye. We've had this discussion before, and we fundamentally disagreed. To me, I feel that a guy should absolutely not seek a strip club as a sexual outlet when he has a relationship. If he went to it regularly, I certainly agree that it is disrespectful if his girlfriend doesn't like it (or doesn't know). But there is a world of difference between going regularly to the strip club, and going once with good friends to celebrate a rite of passage.

 

 

 

My point exactly. You judge a man as completely disrespectful just because he goes to a strip club, regardless of his character. If you know the man is a decent guy, he will be a decent guy in any context--his character isn't going to change. I know you think that any decent guy would never go to a strip club ever (once again... another place we aren't going to see eye to eye).

 

 

 

I'm not saying I wouldn't be there by choice if I went because it was a friend's rite of passage. I'm saying the circumstances would be dramatically different.

 

 

 

It absolutely boils down to trust, but a guy's respect gets factored in. Once again, we don't see eye to eye on this. To me, there are limited circumstances where a decent guy can go to a strip club. In these circumstances, a girl should not feel threatened unless she has trust issues. To you, it seems that even if the thought of going to a strip club crosses his mind, then by default he is a cheater and a dirtbag.

 

 

 

My relationships have always been more important than these things. However, a girl that will never compromise to a reasonable request is not a girl I see as having long-term potential.

 

I agree with this post 100%. And to be honest, it shouldn't even have to come down to that. "Friends or her? Who ya gonna pick?" That's load if I ever saw one. And it sounds kind of controlling. I don't get my jollies off at a strip club, I'm not getting dumb hard off some random ass and titties on a pole in my field of view. Its just for fun, and under certain circumstances ie. someone's birthday, someone's rite of passage. Just thinking about a stripper's line of work turns me off, so I wouldn't be there to find any of them super hot or to get my rocks off with one. To be honest, those are the only two situations I could think of that I'd find myself in a strip club. There isn't anything douchebaggish, disrespectful, or unfaithful about a strip club. All of those labels stem from the GF's own insecurities. People are acting like a guy has no control over his actions in a strip club. If some big booty stripper comes over to me and starts trying to persuade me to get a lapdance, I'm not gonna be all for it all googly eyed and **** slobbering at the mouth. I'm a decent guy, and even in the midst of all this ass and titties running around, I'm going to remain faithful to my GF, **** if anything she'll be right there with me. But to tell me what I can and can't do because you feel I don't have any self control, and your lack of trust, which by the way is very very very VERY evident, is pretty controlling. Its really offensive to even think about it because those of you, female posters, who protest strip clubs so much act like men are dogs who just can't control themselves in a setting like that. Maybe you should start thinking more of your male counterpart as an equal and not some horny ass pair of dick and balls that you want to put a leash on before you even try to tackle the idea of him being at a strip club.

[MeaganRaye]

This is very true. At the same time, if women who hated strip clubs only dated men who felt that strip clubs were wrong, I have the feeling there would be a lot less dating in this world. I hope I'm wrong about this.

 

What if the man's desire to want to go to strip clubs develops after you have been invested into the relationship after awhile? A lot of times women don't always enter a relationship knowing their man likes strip clubs, they man may begin this habit after he's been with his woman for awhile.

[Lizzie60]

I never had any issues with my exes about strip clubs.. my first one rarely went (if never, I can't remember).. my second was going once in a while with the boys but I never had any problem with that.

 

Our sex life didn't suffer from it.. in fact.. with my last ex.. we were like rabbits.. 7-10 times a week... for the 5 years I was with him..

 

So, IMO.. if the sex life is not suffering from this.. and if the guy is not spending all his free time there.. I don't really see a problem.

[samspade]

But to tell me what I can and can't do because you feel I don't have any self control, and your lack of trust, which by the way is very very very VERY evident, is pretty controlling.

 

For the outspoken critics around here of men and women who enjoy porn and/or strippers, that's what this is all about: control.

 

It's not enough for them to live by their own preferences and seek out a mate with similar preferences. They would rather demonstrate control over a mate's sexual desires, by making their choices seem immoral. Add to that the fact that they're so eager to shame the entire porn-consuming populace for exercising its sexual freedom, and you have a set of values so backwards that it sounds like it came right out of Taliban law. Putting people down for enjoying pornography or burlesque is no better than marginalizing homosexuals for THEIR sexual lifestyles. Evidently it's now the feminists who are stuck in the sexual stone age.

 

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the 21st century, not the dark ages. You have a right to enjoy these vices whether a segment of morally superior puritans thinks it's okay or not. If you are dating someone who doesn't like it, YOU will have a decision to make over what's more important: Your sexual needs or your SO. Perhaps he or she is worth keeping and means more to you than porn. If your mate is trying to control you, remember that you are in control of your life, no one else, and you can walk away if you want.

 

Either way, life is short, and you should be enjoying it, so I hope you find someone (or many people) you can enjoy it with, and let the shamers wallow in their own sanctimony.

[annieo]

I'm going to be a buzz kill, but please read on. I wonder how many men ever wonder how the women who work in these industries (strip clubs) feel about their jobs, feel about them.

 

I agree, the money can be pretty decent, but still, it seems like many of them are there due to:

 

a) "make money to pay for college" might be true, or might make them seem more upscale for upscale clientele

b) lack of alternative opportunities, due to lack of family support/education

c) lack of opportunities, due to addiction/abuse issues

d) illegal citizenship status, so unable to find work in more socially acceptable/governed industries

 

So while I am writing this, my h said that we should feel equally guilty about having other people (garbage collectors) pick up our trash.

I argued that having garbage taken to the dump is a public health neccessity, getting your jollies with a stripper is not.

 

Amazing the arguments we will create to defend our wants, not our needs.

I'm not a puritan, and I have fertile, wandering imagination, which serves me well, sexually and otherwise. But I also have a conscience. And it's starting to nag at me.

 

Treating other people like meat puppets, whether they agree to it or not, whether they are paid for it well or not, is counter to nature. To the people involved as well as all of us. It deadens us to the beauty and natural pleasure that is our birthright, as sexual beings. We've turned into a race of consumers, and eventually, we're going to consume all the beauty up, and leave behind a desert.

[gopher]

Great Post!

[CommitmentPhobe]

 

I argued that having garbage taken to the dump is a public health neccessity, getting your jollies with a stripper is not.

 

 

That's debatable. For a lot of people porn/strippers fills a sexual need.

 

Personally it bores me, but I can't find the lack of morality in it in comparison to a lot of things that people do.

[MN randomguy]

I'm going to be a buzz kill, but please read on. I wonder how many men ever wonder how the women who work in these industries (strip clubs) feel about their jobs, feel about them.

 

I agree, the money can be pretty decent, but still, it seems like many of them are there due to:

 

a) "make money to pay for college" might be true, or might make them seem more upscale for upscale clientele

b) lack of alternative opportunities, due to lack of family support/education

c) lack of opportunities, due to addiction/abuse issues

d) illegal citizenship status, so unable to find work in more socially acceptable/governed industries

 

So while I am writing this, my h said that we should feel equally guilty about having other people (garbage collectors) pick up our trash.

I argued that having garbage taken to the dump is a public health neccessity, getting your jollies with a stripper is not.

 

Amazing the arguments we will create to defend our wants, not our needs.

I'm not a puritan, and I have fertile, wandering imagination, which serves me well, sexually and otherwise. But I also have a conscience. And it's starting to nag at me.

 

Treating other people like meat puppets, whether they agree to it or not, whether they are paid for it well or not, is counter to nature. To the people involved as well as all of us. It deadens us to the beauty and natural pleasure that is our birthright, as sexual beings. We've turned into a race of consumers, and eventually, we're going to consume all the beauty up, and leave behind a desert.

 

 

I also agree for the most part,

 

I've been to strippers, not proud of it. If I had a wife or GF that was against it I would respect that.

 

As far as them paying for college, B.S. strippers strip for their kids, lazy BF, husband or drugs. Mostly, drugs. If you've ever known a stripper outside of the club (I've had two friends during my life that were strippers) they've got pretty messed up lives. One ran away from home at 16, she wished that she could do something else. The other was ashamed of it and tried to hide it from me. I knew because I knew her BF and his friends.

 

On another note, I want to say, what about women and romance novels, Is it accurate to say that they create the same kind of unrealistic expectations that porn does in men?

[Jersey Shortie]

This one doesn't apply to me, as I do not find strip clubs erotic at all. To me it is fake, hollow, dirty, and anything buy sexy.

 

IrishCarBomb, it doesn't apply to you yet you're the only man here that directly answered my question. I find that alone pretty telling alone. I guess self control only goes so far and a woman is suppose to give her undivided trust even if your man isn't really taking actions that build that trust up or is respecting his partner.

 

It absolutely boils down to trust, but a guy's respect gets factored in. Once again, we don't see eye to eye on this. To me, there are limited circumstances where a decent guy can go to a strip club. In these circumstances, a girl should not feel threatened unless she has trust issues. To you, it seems that even if the thought of going to a strip club crosses his mind, then by default he is a cheater and a dirtbag.

 

No, it doesn't absolutely boil down to only trust. Trust is part of it. As is respect. You put faith in your partners but they also do things that either help build the trust within the relationship, or help to take the trust away. That's a reality. No relationship gets blind trust and faith built only on red hearts and chocoloate and on nothing else what so ever. We trust our partners because they continue to show us they are trust worthy. Until they show us they aren't.

 

I dislike how when this subject comes up, alot of men expect to be blindly trusted despite their actions being questionable. Can you really blame women for questioning you when you are KNOWINGLY putting yourself in a situation that has other naked, sexually aggressive women? Of course, all the men of loveshack are trust worthy so any woman is silly to feel naturally threated by a man putting himself in the line of fire of other attractive women in a sexual environment meant to encourage sexual activities. I guess the woman is suppose to be doing all the work to maintain the trust and relationship even when he is choosing a night not to put himself in an engaging sexual situation with other women.

 

I asked this question a thousand times and every man but you has ignored it. Why would you put yourself in a sexual environment with other women and only after doing so, say that you have self control and that your woman is "silly" or "insecure" for questioning you? Do you know how demeaning it is to your woman and women in general to call women out for beign "silly" for being upset about such a thing and yet still defending strip clubs? At least be honest and realistic about the nature of what a strip club is there to provide and stop shaming women into being all smiles when it is upsetting that the man you love is purposely making the choice to put himself in a sexual spot with other women.

 

Why would a man put himself knowingly in a spot with other women to have to use his self control to "deny" himself pleasure? Wouldn't a man that was truly using self control not put himself in that spot to begin with. It makes not sense. Actually, the only sense it does make is that it's not about self control or trust or respect at all. But about him getting a cheap and easy thrill with other women in a sexual environment and hiding under the guise that he is using self control even at the same time not denying himself really anything.

 

My relationships have always been more important than these things. However, a girl that will never compromise to a reasonable request is not a girl I see as having long-term potential.

 

Compromise are necessisary in any relationship. Which is more unreasonable though. A man shaming his woman for naturally being bothered, uncomfortable and a little hurt that her man is going off to enjoy himself with other women in a sexual manner? Or a woman just not asking that her man to respect their relationship and respect her.

 

 

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"Friends or her? Who ya gonna pick?" That's load if I ever saw one. And it sounds kind of controlling.

 

It sounds kind of controlling the way alot of men want to shame women and belittle their feelings and thoughts on something like strip clubs and porn when those things are all about a man "getting his jollies" off of other women.

 

 

 

I don't get my jollies off at a strip club, I'm not getting dumb hard off some random ass and titties on a pole in my field of view.

 

Oh? So you don't like seeing all the pretty girls with their t&A sticking out? When you go you don't oggle, You don't smile, yuo don't enjoy the view and talk about it with your friends? It's not sexually exciting on some manner for you even if you aren't getting a hard on?

 

To be honest, those are the only two situations I could think of that I'd find myself in a strip club. There isn't anything douchebaggish, disrespectful, or unfaithful about a strip club. All of those labels stem from the GF's own insecurities.

 

Actually, there is alot that is douchebaggery, disrespectful and unfaithful about men going to strip clubs. But you're a man so it's okay right? You are more important and your needs are more important as a man then what a woman might need or think is fair? All in all, I don't think it's unresonable to expect that your boyfriend not go to strip clubs. Is he really missing out on something?

 

As for calling your girlfriend out on being insecure, your hypcrosicy amazes me. You talk about her insecurities and mock her for it yet you preened like a peacock in a previous post about her wanting to take herself out of a work situation where alot of other men were around.. a freaking non-sexual work environment. You're insecurities are more and more obvious themselves.

 

 

People are acting like a guy has no control over his actions in a strip club.

 

Well honestly, the amount of time men themselves spend telling women how sexual they are, how much they think about sex, how they are going to like other women and fantasy about them, why do men then blame women for feeling insecure and upset when their man openning puts himself in sexual situatiosn with other women? Secondly, if a man really had self control, he wouldn't go to begin with. A man that goes and then turns around preaching about self control is a hypocrit.

 

 

I'm going to remain faithful to my GF, **** if anything she'll be right there with me. But to tell me what I can and can't do because you feel I don't have any self control, and your lack of trust, which by the way is very very very VERY evident, is pretty controlling.

 

Actually, your view point is controlling in itself. Shaming view points for women that naturally are concerned or uncomfortable with their men knowingly putting himself in a sexual environment with other women is about control. It's not about trust or respect, it's about making women feel bad for their own natural desires while trying to self feed your own. It's obvious how controlling it is on a man's end that wants to shame a woman for naturally being upset when is man takes such action.

 

Its really offensive to even think about it because those of you, female posters, who protest strip clubs so much act like men are dogs who just can't control themselves in a setting like that. Maybe you should start thinking more of your male counterpart as an equal and not some horny ass pair of dick and balls that you want to put a leash on before you even try to tackle the idea of him being at a strip club.

 

It's really offensive that so many men that have loving wives and gfs still defend strippers and porn and male desires over that of their relationship. Then try to push it off as the woman onl ybeing controlling and failing to see their own attempt to control the situation. Maybe men should start thinking more of their female counterparts as equals and not just there to feed your fantasies and comply with your whims by putting them on a leash and wanting them to come to heel.

 

I ask again, why would a man that knows it's a sexual environment with other women put himself in that spot to have to use his self control to begin with? Do you have any idea what it's like hearing a man talk about how much he wants to go to a strip club or defend it and then say he will "use his self control"...knowing he is purposely tempting himself. Why do men expect that purposely tempting themselves and then turning around and telling women they are just insecure and their feelings don't really matter is right or not controlling in it's own right? Again, it's hypocritcal.

 

But don't worry, I am no longer any navie ideas that a real woman is more important to her man over his fleeting desires. Men claim porn and strip clubs aren't important but here we are again, listening to man after man defend both to the 10th degree and putting down the women in their lives that could have issues and struggle with it. Why should that woman matter right? It's only you as the man and your needs and desirse that matter. I've come to learn that that's how men see it. Men matter more then women. And porn and strip clubs are worthy of loyatly and protection over anything a real woman could provide.

[Sam Spade]

Sam, none of us are above being judgemental. Even yourself. And I repeat, the only way you know who a man is, is by seeing where his actions lead him.

 

There are alot more men in this world that are into porn then not now-a-days and I know alot of people will brush it off as all good and happy but the fact is that unfortunetly, with the boon of the internet, there aren't as many men any more that can be happy and confident in their sexuality without pornography.

 

 

There are plenty of women that do enjoy porn, so eat it .

Oh, right, they don't really enjoy it, they just pretend to pander to predatorial male tastes .

[samspade]

There are plenty of women that do enjoy porn, so eat it .

Oh, right, they don't really enjoy it, they just pretend to pander to predatorial male tastes

 

Exactly. It's evil, misogynist men who are forcing sweet, innocent women to enjoy porn against their will, and stay stuck in a relationship with them as well. Give me a break.

 

There sure are a lot of people around here who look down on other people's private lives and lifestyles. It must be nice to be so much better than everyone else. I hope they enjoy trying to rescue people from their own thoughts and choices!

[Jersey Shortie]

Exactly. It's evil, misogynist men who are forcing sweet, innocent women to enjoy porn against their will, and stay stuck in a relationship with them as well.

 

So we agree then.

[MusicChick24]

I am very lucky. I know that I am the type of girl who could never be with a guy who goes to strip clubs. Porn I can deal with because I watch porn myself.

 

Anyways, my bf is not into porn because he finds the women slutty and unattractive. He also doesn't go to strip clubs for the same reason. His theory is that the women featured in porn and strip clubs are nice to look out however when you factor in what they are doing it ruins it for him.

 

So that said.

 

In my opinion, I don't think monogamous men should partake strip clubs particularly because it often causes problems if the female involved is uncomfortable with it. Porn is a natural thing. I guess it tends to not threaten the other person involved because you are an on looker and only and on looker where at a strip club you can factor in the VIP room etc etc.

 

But all men and all women are different in their views.

[IrishCarBomb]

IrishCarBomb, it doesn't apply to you yet you're the only man here that directly answered my question.

 

Maybe so, I can't speak for the other men.

 

That's a reality. No relationship gets blind trust and faith built only on red hearts and chocoloate and on nothing else what so ever. We trust our partners because they continue to show us they are trust worthy. Until they show us they aren't.

 

I agree with this. If I hadn't established any trust with my girlfriend, I wouldn't think her anxieties were unreasonable. My point is that with established trust, a visit to the strip club for reasons other than a sexual outlet does not mean a guy is disrespecting his relationship.

 

I dislike how when this subject comes up, alot of men expect to be blindly trusted despite their actions being questionable.

 

These men are playing games then. There is a big difference between a guy demanding instant blind trust, and reasonable requests. The former is a guy making a power move, the latter is a guy just asking for some perspective.

 

Can you really blame women for questioning you when you are KNOWINGLY putting yourself in a situation that has other naked, sexually aggressive women? . . . I guess the woman is suppose to be doing all the work to maintain the trust and relationship even when he is choosing a night not to put himself in an engaging sexual situation with other women.

 

I don't blame women for having concerns about it. I just think the concerns should be mitigated when a guy has established himself as trustworthy. As I see it, you are saying that a guy automatically is not trustworthy if he goes to a strip club. I disagree because I think that would ignore a mountain of evidence to the contrary.

 

I asked this question a thousand times and every man but you has ignored it. Why would you put yourself in a sexual environment with other women and only after doing so, say that you have self control and that your woman is "silly" or "insecure" for questioning you?

 

If she didn't know me very well, I wouldn't say she's silly or insecure. I'd say she's silly or insecure if we'd been dating for 6 months and she knew my character, but still freaked out even knowing my reasons for going were not sexual in nature.

 

Why would I put myself in the environment? Because it isn't a threat. For the same reason I would let a girl I've been dating hang out with an ex-boyfriend if we had established trust. Sure, I'd be concerned in the back of my mind, but my insecurities would be baseless because of our established trust. I'd be a jerk not to let her hang out with the guy, because I'd be letting my insecurities dictate her behavior, even in the face of overwhelming evidence that it isn't a threat whatsoever.

 

At least be honest and realistic about the nature of what a strip club is there to provide and stop shaming women into being all smiles when it is upsetting that the man you love is purposely making the choice to put himself in a sexual spot with other women.

 

Not to sound like a broken record from my previous post, but the strip club is NOT a sexual spot for me. It's f***ing gross. Strippers are the most bitter people I've ever met, and I've never found them sexy. I'm sure you wonder then: "Well, why do you go?!?" The only times I ever go are for a close guy-friend's special occasion, usually a rite of passage (i.e. his decision to go there for a bachelor party, friend's decision for his going-away party, etc). This is a lot different than going just because it is a Saturday night, or any other another routine reason.

 

But about him getting a cheap and easy thrill with other women in a sexual environment and hiding under the guise that he is using self control even at the same time not denying himself really anything.

 

My previous post addressed this. There is zero cheap thrill to it. If anything, for me it's expensive and awkward. The strippers are not sexy. The other patrons are creepy as hell. The machismo is retarded. But if one of my close friends wants to do it for a once-in-a-lifetime event, I'll go because these friends have stuck their necks out for me countless times. It's not sexy, but the celebration and fraternal aspects of it can become fun.

 

Compromise are necessisary in any relationship. Which is more unreasonable though. A man shaming his woman for naturally being bothered, uncomfortable and a little hurt that her man is going off to enjoy himself with other women in a sexual manner? Or a woman just not asking that her man to respect their relationship and respect her.

 

There is zero shaming in the behavior I describe. In fact, shaming is pathetic and cruel. I'd recommend any girl break up with a guy that makes it a point to shame her. However, going to a strip club is not per se shaming.

 

Reasonableness is always different when you sum up the circumstances. There are times where the night out at the strip club is perfectly reasonable, as I have described above. There are also times where a guy is a gigantic douche about it, and his behavior shouldn't be tolerated. However, it is not per se unreasonable.

[mr.dream merchant]

The strippers aren't really attractive at all because of their line of work, and just the overall "its all about the benjamins baby" atmosphere. But that won't stop me from going there to celebrate a friend's special occasion and to overall enjoy myself in the company of my friends. The strippers aren't the source of that joy for me, its being around my friends. I'm not hiding behind my friends at all here, but you wouldn't catch me in a strip club unless it were for the said occasions. And there's nothing disrespectful, douchbaggish, or whatever other negative label one would like to tie to that scenario. My GF has been with me for 1 year, if she expressed that I'm a cheater and that she's worried I cheat on her with a stripper, I'd laugh. Not because her insecurities are funny, but because she should know me by now, and have that trust built up. A good guy isn't going to score some gross pussy at a strip club if he was a good guy before that night. Get real. Strip clubs aren't the reason guys cheat on their women, guys cheat on their women because those said guys are just cheaters. Lol, strip clubs don't magically turn every good man into a cheater. Its a lame generalization backed by mountains of insecurity, jealousy, and possessiveness not to mention hills of power trip followed behind it.

 

And yes, I would have no problem with my GF going to a male strip club. Because I trust that she wouldn't take it further than looking at some hot guys huge cock. That **** doesn't bother me at all.

[annieo]

On another note, I want to say, what about women and romance novels, Is it accurate to say that they create the same kind of unrealistic expectations that porn does in men?

 

Not romance novels (or does anybody actually read those things anymore?) but Jane Austen novels/movie adaptations might for me. No nudity, no sex, but my god, the smoldering looks, the barely concealed passion ... ohhhh, ahhhh, Mr. Darcy !!!!!!!!

No real, living, breathing, burping, farting, sometimes inattentive, mostly lovable and totally human man can compete with him. And how sad is that?

[Jersey Shortie]

Mr. Dream Merchant, why do you keep ignoring my comments to you? You know the one. Where in another thread you gave props to your girlfriend for expressing that she wanted to take herself out of her male domianted office and work in a a female one. Funny how happy that made you. Funny how you bragged about it and felt proud of her for it. Yet you obviously don't want to do the same for your own girlfriend. You say how it's okay if you do the opposite of what she wants to do for you. She wants to take herself out of a situation out of rsepect for you and you want to put yourself right in one. Hiding behind your friends is weak. You want to put yourself in one that is way more sexual then the one she is in. You proudly brag about how she said she wanted to do that yet you sit here defending yourself and why you souldn't do the same. Anyone can see how hypocritical that is.

 

 

I agree with this. If I hadn't established any trust with my girlfriend, I wouldn't think her anxieties were unreasonable. My point is that with established trust, a visit to the strip club for reasons other than a sexual outlet does not mean a guy is disrespecting his relationship.

 

Even with trust established, throught a relationship you either do things that help keep that trust alive or help hurt that trust. Relationships aren't a matter of doing something good for 6 months and then saying you can behave in questionable behavior and your SO should be smiles and kittens about it. That's not how it works. We all do things that either help or hurt our relationships. Why are so many men willing to hurt theirs for a night to a strip club? One can only conclude that strip clubs are vastly important to men. more so the their woman.

 

I don't blame women for having concerns about it. I just think the concerns should be mitigated when a guy has established himself as trustworthy. As I see it, you are saying that a guy automatically is not trustworthy if he goes to a strip club. I disagree because I think that would ignore a mountain of evidence to the contrary.

 

I never said a guy was automatically untrust worthy. What I did say was you either do things that help keep the trust strong or help break the trust down. A man knowingly putting himself in a situation with other women that is sexual in nature is doing alot to help break the trust down. Why would a man put himself in that spot to begin with? Are men unable to enjoy themselves with other men without naked women around?

 

If she didn't know me very well, I wouldn't say she's silly or insecure. I'd say she's silly or insecure if we'd been dating for 6 months and she knew my character, but still freaked out even knowing my reasons for going were not sexual in nature.

 

Well, it's funny because between you and Mr. Dream keep saying how you don't go because it's a sexual place, you don't go to look at the women. You just go out of loyatly to your friends. I guess all the men in the world are all just forcing each other to attend strip clubs not because, the naked women or anything, but because their *friends* want to go, are all secretly disppointed that they had to go to a strip club to do it. Poor men. I guess women know where they stand in their man's life. Apparently a loyatly to a friend outweighs that of a woman. All of you being forced to go to strip clubs because your friends. None of you knowing that none of you really want to go. But please ,continue to degrade women and say they are "insecure" when their man is putting himself in sexual situatiosn with other women. Yeah, that's real fair and nice to try and make women feel bad for something that natrually is very threatening as a woman. Who cares what women want and need right?

 

Why would I put myself in the environment? Because it isn't a threat.

 

Yeah, naked women gyrating around with nice bodies aren't a threat at all while your girlfriend sits at home. Please, you have to be asexual if you don't consider a strip club a sexual place on some level. And it's funny how men carry on about how sexual they are, how if they see a woman out in public in a low cut top or this or that that they are going to look and like it but all the sudden when a man sets foot in a strip club they no longer have those same feelings towards attractive women? Wow, men must thing women are really stupid and worthless.

 

 

"Well, why do you go?!?" The only times I ever go are for a close guy-friend's special occasion, usually a rite of passage (i.e. his decision to go there for a bachelor party, friend's decision for his going-away party, etc). This is a lot different than going just because it is a Saturday night, or any other another routine reason.

 

Well no offensive but alot of men hide behind their friends when going to strip clubs. Again no offense but apparently men loose their balls when it comes to other male friends. I guess with all these men forcing other men to go to strip clubs, how can a man himself actually be responsible for any of his choices or actiosn right?

 

But if one of my close friends wants to do it for a once-in-a-lifetime event, I'll go because these friends have stuck their necks out for me countless times.

 

 

I get it, the respect and wishes of your friends counts for more then the respect and wishes of a girlfriend. And she is just insecure if she doesn't want you to go, and your friends are justified if they do. They matter more. Their feelings are more logical and better.

 

Mr. Dream:

I'm not hiding behind my friends at all here...

 

Actually it's tne standard arguement alot of men use to hide behind their friends.

 

 

Its a lame generalization backed by mountains of insecurity, jealousy, and possessiveness not to mention hills of power trip followed behind it.

 

I actually think it's male insecurity, possessiviness and need for a power trip that makes men be cold to women on this point. I mean, I seriously don't get how a man can't understand how hurtful something like that can be. Funny how men get to justify anything under the sun for themselves and if their gfs dont liek it he sames her into feeling badly by saying she is "insecure".

 

And yes, I would have no problem with my GF going to a male strip club. Because I trust that she wouldn't take it further than looking at some hot guys huge cock. That **** doesn't bother me at all.

 

And yet, you were so proud of her for wanting to take herself out of a work situation with other men..funny that.

[kdark]

Jersey, you make the assumption that all women are as passionately against strip club as you are. Your agruments hold water in your particular situation since for you it is obviously a deal breaker when your man goes to a strip club, but that isn't the norm.

 

The fact that you can't even see the other side of this argument shows me a lot about your character.

[Jersey Shortie]

Seems like more people are not okay with strip clubs then are kdark.

 

I have a wonderful character by the way, and trying to take shots at it for my opinion on this isn't cool.

[kdark]

Seems like more people are not okay with strip clubs then are kdark.

 

I have a wonderful character by the way, and trying to take shots at it for my opinion on this isn't cool.

 

It's not just as black and white as ok and not ok like you see it though. There are varying degrees of dislike and like towards strip clubs for both genders, and the questions and situations you pose always assume that the woman in question has as deep a hatred towards strip clubs as you do, which just isn't true.

 

And maybe I jumped the gun in judging you, but to me it says a lot to me when someone won't at least acknowledge the opposing sides viewpoint. The only issue I do that with is gay marriage, and that's because my brother is gay.

[IrishCarBomb]

Yeah, naked women gyrating around with nice bodies aren't a threat at all while your girlfriend sits at home. Please, you have to be asexual if you don't consider a strip club a sexual place on some level. And it's funny how men carry on about how sexual they are, how if they see a woman out in public in a low cut top or this or that that they are going to look and like it but all the sudden when a man sets foot in a strip club they no longer have those same feelings towards attractive women? Wow, men must thing women are really stupid and worthless.

 

Well, I've told you over and over again that I don't find it sexual at all. You must think me a habitual liar. If you want to insult me by calling me asexual, fine. Your insults to not address the point at all. The truth is exactly the opposite.

 

Further, you must think all men are pretty stupid and one-dimensional if you think they all surrender all logic and control just by setting foot in a strip club.

[Dexter Morgan]

Here is the question. WHY do people go to strip clubs? Saying, "to have fun" is not an answer. You can have fun anywhere.

 

WHY do people go to strip clubs?

 

After that question is answered, WHY should a committed partner be ok with it?

[samspade]

WHY do people go to strip clubs?

 

My money is on enjoying a sexually charged atmosphere with females other than your SO without a sense of betrayal. Since men are hard-wired for promiscuity, this is a socially "safe" way to enjoy variety, from a male perspective, anyway.

 

After that question is answered, WHY should a committed partner be ok with it?

 

Because it is his or her prerogative to be okay with it, or not. If they are only pretending to be okay with it, they're not being true to themselves. But whether you think or I think they "should" not be okay with it, it is up to them and their personal set of values and standards.

[chrissylee]

Why does it matter that it is a sexual place? Why does him going to a strip club constitute a lack of respect? Of course I can enjoy a night out at a place other than a strip club, but why do some women have such a deep level of hatred for them?

 

 

I find it to be disrespectful because it is a sexual place. If I am in a committed relationship with someone there are certain things I want him not to take part in. Watching another women dance naked and try to turn him on is one of those things.

 

The only thing a strip club has that places don't have is naked women walking around. I don't find that type of environment to be one that I want my SO to be in.

 

If he ever decides that he is missing out on something great by not being able to go to strip clubs then we probably aren't right for each other anyways.

 

It also has nothing to do with trust. I trust my man 100% but I just feel if someone is going to dance naked for him it should be me not someone else.

[MissConduct]

I found this post made on a forum where an ex stripper turned porn star was posting to let her fans know she was retiring from her porn career. This is and interesting comment from one of her fans:

 

I’m a big fan since the beggining of your career. Thanks for the material you’ve given us and I hope you’ll return soon to fulfill your fans’ fantasies and give us more mental images to think about while we **** our gf’s/wives. And if you decide not to make anymore porn, you should at least continue modeling or doing presentations at stripclubs. Since I’m an in xxxxxx, I’ve had the chance to get lapdances from various pornstars, but one of my life dreams would come true if I get a lapdance from you. With the right advertisement, any event in a stripclub featuring you would be packed, assuring money for you and the club. I know at least 20 of my homies would pay anything for a lapdance from you and a good show on stage. You have the best ass in the history of porn and everyone knows it, so that’s easy to advertise. Please schedule some presentations in xxxxxxx… I’ll pass around the flyers!

 

 

Lovely!

 

Then he goes on to ask:

 

I wanted to ask you where did you learn to move it like that? Did you pick up the technique when you started to dance or was it a move you already had mastered in your private life? My gf and other girl I’m ****ing are just incapable of shaking it like you, any pointers?

 

Classy dude!

 

 

I wonder how many men would love the idea that women are on a porn forum posting to their favourite porn star telling him how much they love his "cok" and telling him to keep up the work since they need the mental imagery to get through a fuuuck session with their boyfriends, husbands and lovers on the side?

 

 

:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: