Shygirl15 Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 You haven't met someone who looked younger than they were and you were surprised when you found out their age? This happens to me all the time. People (both men and women) guess me in my early 30's. A couple coworkers last year thought I was in my late 20's....It has happened quite a bit. Also, I do look in the mirror and at other women my age. I have always taken care of myself, used sunblock like crazy since I was very young, I don't smoke...I just look younger than a typical 40-year old. Sorry you have trouble accepting that. When people (both men and women) are constantly shocked when you tell them your age and tell you they thought you were several years younger, and you compare yourself to other women your age, you KNOW you look younger. When my students and fellow teachers thought I was the same age as that teacher who is 28....hmm...you get to thinking (knowing) you must look younger. WHen a 26 year old female teacher is SHOCKED when you mention that you just turned 40 and she says "You're what? Oh my gosh, I thought you were my age!!! YOu look so young! You DON'T look anywhere NEAR 40!" You starta thinking that you look younger than you are. And this has been happening a lot in my adult years. Call me blessed, I don't know.... I met a 55 year old woman recently and I was shocked....she really looked a lot younger. It is possible. I don't get your problem with that. If a guy meets me and is attracted to me, both personalitywise and physically, my numerical age is not going to dissuade them, it never has. I've never had to date men over 5 years older than myself, as I'm just not attracted over that age, and I've never been low of suitors. I think you are living more on the internet/porn world rather than the real world. The real world is....women at any age can date and you are not washed up after a certain age. I am living this. You are simply quoting "stats" from the internet and your own personal preferences. Duh. Seriously, you must be the annoying type I have met that constantly asks people to guess their age, or just bring up the age topic so that once again they can be reassured that they look young. I do that to people all the time; I reassure them they look young, just the way they like it. Most intelligent people do that.
Jersey Shortie Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 Jersey, I agree and good post... I am not putting down all older women. Nowhere did I say men who are 45 should marry, (or even want to marry) 20 year olds. You made that part up. I just sense a hypocrisy.. Many older women do not want older men. They rip on them. However, they feel younger men should overlook age when it comes to them. (because they feel they look younger). Perhaps older women feel ripped on by older men as well? I am not making excuses but I think both sides feel disrespected. To be honest, I was on a dating site a few years ago and alot of older men contacted me out of my dating range, and my dating range was already pretty wide. I turned them down and told them flat out that they were too old for me. It happens both ways. Older men also seem to expect you to overlook their age when they don't want to date older women. I also had men that lied about their age and weight. Duh. Seriously, you must be the annoying type I have met that constantly asks people to guess their age, or just bring up the age topic so that once again they can be reassured that they look young. I do that to people all the time; I reassure them they look young, just the way they like it. Most intelligent people do that. I don't. I don't like to lie to people. There is a way to be truthful and tactful. I think the reason so many people think they look younger then their years is because what 40 use to look like is different from what 40 can look like today. And some people can very easily be mistakening for being years younger then their real age.
Shygirl15 Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 Well, I really do not think anybody insulted anybody on this thread; some facts were mentioned however since some of us would prefer to live in denial than face facts, we found those comments insulting.
Jersey Shortie Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 There are alot of different ways and solutions to see one problem. Just because they are not your way, doesn't mean those people are in denial. I never said a 25 year old girl wasn't attractive and pretty. I just think that our obession and fear with our own morality makes us shoot ourselves in the foot. I also think that each sex can be worried about being disrespected or screwed over by the other, and just wants the other gender to see their side. I wonder how much is cultivated towards youth being the best position in life is nature, nurture, society, or born of our own fears of getting older and the over hyper-sexualilation of everyone in America..even children.
Shygirl15 Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 I don't. I don't like to lie to people. There is a way to be truthful and tactful. I think the reason so many people think they look younger then their years is because what 40 use to look like is different from what 40 can look like today. And some people can very easily be mistakening for being years younger then their real age. I said MOST, not all. Agree, some people look younger for their age, however some of us went to the extreme on this thread and tried to convince we look 20 years younger! Sorry. That's not practical. Can only happen in dreams. I'm not against old. I'm just trying to advocate people to be happy at whatever age they are and not try too hard.
Jersey Shortie Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 I understand ShyGirl, but I wonder why you argue so hard on the fact tha tsome people could infact look 20 years younger. Who are you to say that isn't possible? I can understand you saying that has never been your experience, but I can't understand how you declare it is impossible. Have you ever watched Oprah? They did a show where you had to guess the woman' ages and alot of them turned out to be a good 20 years older then the audience guessed. And I agree that people should be happy at whatever age.But that is hard to do with everyone is afraid of aging, and people think others are less based on aging.
Shygirl15 Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 Have you ever watched Oprah? They did a show where you had to guess the woman' ages and alot of them turned out to be a good 20 years older then the audience guessed. That must have been a very 'intelligent' audience which knew how to play the game. I would have done the same thing.
vonerik012 Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 I understand ShyGirl, but I wonder why you argue so hard on the fact tha tsome people could infact look 20 years younger. Who are you to say that isn't possible? I can understand you saying that has never been your experience, but I can't understand how you declare it is impossible. Have you ever watched Oprah? They did a show where you had to guess the woman' ages and alot of them turned out to be a good 20 years older then the audience guessed. And I agree that people should be happy at whatever age.But that is hard to do with everyone is afraid of aging, and people think others are less based on aging. I am a man that has checked out thousands and thousands of women. Trust me. I will NEVER confuse a 45 yr old for a 25 yr old.
pandagirl Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 Wow. I just read this entire thread! People seem to be getting their panties in a bunch over age. Honestly, who really cares! Whether people look older or younger for their age, it's just a personal preference. Plus, it's 2008! People are living longer, healthier lives well into their 70s. And, I'm 30, but people often think I'm 12! How 'bout dem apples!
almost famous Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 Well, I really do not think anybody insulted anybody on this thread; some facts were mentioned however since some of us would prefer to live in denial than face facts, we found those comments insulting. I don't get insulted by this type of thing, they are not living my life and they do not know what I look like. Vonerik does not know if I was new at his workplace like I was last year, and everyone assumed I was late 20's, early 30's in age, if he would have been right there with those people thinking I looked that age. I also know of friends and coworkers who have had babies at age 38 and beyond and I have been told by my doctor it is absolutely a possibility for me, I don't need some person like Vonerik trying to convince me otherwise.
vonerik012 Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 I am not a doctor. Write all the medical associations and tell them they are wrong. I am not trying to convince you of anything. I was stating the obvious fact that men who want a family will pick a younger woman that has a better than 7.8% chance of conceiving. Hence, why older men fit well with younger women. They can offer security and have the maturity to take care of a family, and the younger woman is much more fertile. If you look 18 it really doesn't matter.
almost famous Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 I know this will be hard to believe but you fall in love with who you fall in love with. A man who falls in love with a woman is falling in love with her, not her percentage capability of conceiving, or her numerical age. If a man who is 42 is falling in love with me, my age number of 40 has nothing to do with it, he is falling in love with me, the person. Fact is, there are tons of women who are giving birth at late 30's and 40's, hell, Marcia Cross from Desperate Housewives was 42, Dara Torres a mom at 40, I could go on and on and on, including women I know myself. Sorry but yes it is fun to be attractive and to have people think that I am younger than I am and be shocked when they find out my age, as many people were at my workplace during my birthday last spring. Nothing wrong with being hot and feeling good about it. Nothing you say can take any of that away from me, and that is what your problem is, Vonerik, you're not succeeding in your quest.
Yamaha Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 I don't understand the big emphasis on looking younger ( maybe much younger ) than your age. If your 40 then be proud of your 40 years and the experience and wisdom that the age as bestowed on you. Same if your 50. So what if we think we look younger than our years. What does that really mean? Your still the age your are so why is it so important that people believe your younger?
almost famous Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 Uh...I am proud of being 40, it just so happens that I look like I'm in my early 30's (according to what people tell me.) My point is that I was saying that a man who says "I only date women early 30's or younger" could meet me, be attracted to me, and fall for me, not knowing this number, because people don't fall in love with numbers, they fall in love with people.
Ocean-Blue Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 Okay.. probably the same way I told this guy last nite that he looks 34 while infact he looks 45. And I have met many, many people who look younger for their age.. but really, not 21 years younger. Even by cosmetic surgery, you can't look 21 years younger, my friend. They may be wrinkle free, gray-hair free, act childish.. but still, there's just something to them that screams OLD! Why do you insist on being so critical of OP? Maybe she does look very young? What's it to you? Your point about beauty not necessarily being correlated with age is taken (and I agree). However, I don't understand why you are trying to shove YOUR frame of reference down everyone else's throats. Some people just look incredibly young. You will gain nothing by bleating on about how it's impossible for a 52 year old to be mistaken for a 33 year old. Let it go.
Yamaha Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 Uh...I am proud of being 40, it just so happens that I look like I'm in my early 30's (according to what people tell me.) My point is that I was saying that a man who says "I only date women early 30's or younger" could meet me, be attracted to me, and fall for me, not knowing this number, because people don't fall in love with numbers, they fall in love with people. So could a guy who was 40. If you are attractive then you would be attractive to a 40 Y/O. I agree you fall in-love with the person but you seem preoccupied on letting us know you look early 30's and because if this fact you can get a guy in his early 30's. His age shouldn't matter if you fall for the person but it does seem to matter because you want the younger guy to make you feel hot and desirable. I guess the 40 Y/O guy would not make you feel as good about yourself?
almost famous Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 Jealous anyone? lol No, I'm not a really annoying type. I had worked at this place since September, they post the employee's birthdays up. So, I got asked how old I was, and when I said it was my 40th it got a lot of attention and people saying "Wow, we thought you were about 30" etc. I had told a few people who had asked before that my age, including a 26 year old teacher, well, actually it came up as (since we are both single) I stated "Well Mr. Thomas is single and he is about your age." Then she said "Well, what are you talking about? We're the same age, right?" So then I had to tell her my age. I NEVER ask people to guess my age, it's just when they find out, they are shocked. I am a very modest person,particularly at work. It just happens all the time. Duh. Seriously, you must be the annoying type I have met that constantly asks people to guess their age, or just bring up the age topic so that once again they can be reassured that they look young. I do that to people all the time; I reassure them they look young, just the way they like it. Most intelligent people do that.
almost famous Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 No, my point is to vonerik who insists that men in my age range definitely want significantly younger women to date, and I stated that one of those men could start dating me, assuming that I'm younger. I don't want a significantly younger guy, I prefer no more than 5 years younger to 5 years older, both of which I consider the same age range as myself. It was my point exactly, you fall in love with the person, not the number on their drivers license. Vonerik is insisting that I'm going to have a tough time finding men my age who want to date me, simply because of the year on my driver's license. I am finding that men in my age range are happy to date me, it is not a factor of these guys wanting women 10 years younger than me, age is a number. So could a guy who was 40. If you are attractive then you would be attractive to a 40 Y/O. I agree you fall in-love with the person but you seem preoccupied on letting us know you look early 30's and because if this fact you can get a guy in his early 30's. His age shouldn't matter if you fall for the person but it does seem to matter because you want the younger guy to make you feel hot and desirable. I guess the 40 Y/O guy would not make you feel as good about yourself?
elaina Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 I don't. I don't like to lie to people. There is a way to be truthful and tactful. I think the reason so many people think they look younger then their years is because what 40 use to look like is different from what 40 can look like today. And some people can very easily be mistakening for being years younger then their real age. I think you're right about how what an age used to look like is different today than years before... that's a cool thought, thanks One of my pet peeves is men old enough to be my father hitting on me. That really bothers me. I think the reason why it bothers me mainly is cause I have friends who were sexually molested by older men (I haven't, but I have experiend a man old enough to be my grandpa asking me questions that were sexual and totally not appropriate... and I told him so and asked him if he would ask those things to his grandkids, to which he said no. and I told him that I considered him to be like a grandpa to me so that really disturbed me him talking to me like that.) You know what I mean?
Jersey Shortie Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 I am not trying to convince you of anything. I was stating the obvious fact that men who want a family will pick a younger woman that has a better than 7.8% chance of conceiving. Hence, why older men fit well with younger women. They can offer security and have the maturity to take care of a family, and the younger woman is much more fertile. Okay Vonerik, maybe you need to read some medical journals. Older men with older sperm are less likly to have fertile sperm themselves and sperm that is healthy, just as older women. So while older men can have babies, just as older women can, should they really? It isn't only the age of the woman that makes it more difficult to have children. You will find that in any medical journal. How responsible is it for an older male to father children if his possiblities for being around to raise them are less? I'm sorry but you are quite depressing in your attitude towards women. Us women just don't stand a chance do we. WHy don't you just take us out back and shoot us and then date our daughters..and then shoot those women when they get old enough and date their daughters. Then men can be happy and women can be reminded their lowly position in life when aging. And, I'm 30, but people often think I'm 12! How 'bout dem apples! Yay! Me too actually because I am quite petite. If I don't have make up on and am wearing certain clothes I look pretty young. Shhhh..don't tell Shygirl. I think you're right about how what an age used to look like is different today than years before... that's a cool thought, thanks One of my pet peeves is men old enough to be my father hitting on me. That really bothers me. I hate that as well. As well as men out with their families looking at me and checking me out. Intrigrity is so much sexier in a man.
Lyssa Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 Why do you insist on being so critical of OP? Maybe she does look very young? What's it to you? Your point about beauty not necessarily being correlated with age is taken (and I agree). However, I don't understand why you are trying to shove YOUR frame of reference down everyone else's throats. Some people just look incredibly young. You will gain nothing by bleating on about how it's impossible for a 52 year old to be mistaken for a 33 year old. Let it go. I was going to say the same thing. I don't get some of the responses here. So what if the OP and some other older women look younger than their actual age? More power to them for taking good care of themselves. When I was a consultant at a gym, I worked out with some of the women - I was shocked to find out that they were much older than what I had guessed and no, they didn't ask me to guess - I found out from their consultants or whenever I had to go through their data to set an appointment. Even some of the older posters here look much younger than they actually are (from the pictures I've seen). As for the OP, if a date is set up - go for it. He's only a few years younger and for all you know, it could turn out to be a great date.
almost famous Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 Yes, honestly, I think the men in their late 30's and 40's and beyond thinking that all these 22 year olds want them are them deceiving themselves. Yes, there are men who date and marry women 20 years younger, just like there are women who date and marry men 20 years younger. Also, men who are after younger women are actually admitting that they want women who just want them for their income, not for them. Why would you want a woman who just wants you for your wallet? I think you're right about how what an age used to look like is different today than years before... that's a cool thought, thanks One of my pet peeves is men old enough to be my father hitting on me. That really bothers me. I think the reason why it bothers me mainly is cause I have friends who were sexually molested by older men (I haven't, but I have experiend a man old enough to be my grandpa asking me questions that were sexual and totally not appropriate... and I told him so and asked him if he would ask those things to his grandkids, to which he said no. and I told him that I considered him to be like a grandpa to me so that really disturbed me him talking to me like that.) You know what I mean?
vonerik012 Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 LOL Why is everyone mentioning women 20-25? All I ever said is men 40 -45 will NOT want an older woman, in most cases. That is called common sense. This does not mean they want a 20 yr old. For them 35-40 is perfect. 50-55 is a joke..
J2FT1 Posted August 17, 2008 Posted August 17, 2008 LOL Why is everyone mentioning women 20-25? All I ever said is men 40 -45 will NOT want an older woman, in most cases. That is called common sense. This does not mean they want a 20 yr old. For them 35-40 is perfect. 50-55 is a joke.. Your posts are right on man. For most guys (basically all), their first choice will always be younger (doesn't mean a 45 year old going for a 18 year old) and then they will settle for older. Think about it, with the way dating works someone's gotta give; and these people are young men and older women. Since women date up and men date down, the odd ones out are young men and old women. And since young men can't get a good lay, some settle for the old woman down the street. And oh, just for fun if you google "50 year old hot/beautiful/sexy/etc. woman/girl/female" nothing but random pictures come up.
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