Question for Guys 40 - 50

[Jilly Bean]

Actually, I did.

 

Now, tell me.

Do you really think I'd chose an older woman over JillyB here?

What are you smoking?

 

Well, according to some of our more misogynistic posters on LS, women are already over the hill at the ripe age of 33, and no longer a catch for anyone, except a guy who is willing to settle. lol

 

Soooo.... thanks, B. Nice to know I still rate.

[sumdude]

OK, I'm 40, divorced with no kids. I'm usually pegged around 32 - 35. Yes I'm more attracted to younger women by far. Physically and also because I could use some youthful exuberance in my life. On occasion an older woman can really make me interested. But one day I do still want a family... so in my case.. for a possible long term mate I want someone who can bear and take care of children. So if I did go with an older woman or even a woman my age it would be short term and I'd make that clear.

 

I have a freind who is 47... she looks great and I am attracted to her, there is chemistry. But I won't go there because i know one day it will end and i would rather keep a friend and musical partner.

[Lizzie60]

Yes, when you are in a sexually repressed society, older women are the better option. travel abroad to more sexually free nations, and you will notice older women have a hard time getting laid.

 

 

Hahaha.. I don't think so..

[vonerik012]

Men LOVE sex.

 

Men PREFER younger women.

 

Younger women are harder to obtain sexually.

 

Many older women don't really care, and are EASY. So it is better than nothing.

 

So if you ran a brothel, you think you would do better business with women 45 and over? As opposed to women 18-25?

[carhill]

Nice to know I still rate.

 

Way too young for me, J_B; I need some time at light speed for you to catch up

 

I personally enjoy older women; those Lizzie's age would be minimum, on up to early 60's (I'm 49). Post-menopausal, experienced, well-traveled and up for adventures of all sorts....yum

[beautifullove]

In terms of the older woman/younger man scenario;

 

If a man is say 24 and a woman is 34, to some it may not seem bad (a 10 yr diff.)

 

But, later on down the line when he is 34 and she is 44, the age may start to be problematic. Then, 44 and 54 (she's now on her way to 60). I'm not one to judge, but I would not date a younger guy, nor would I date a guy who is significantly older.

[Jake Barnes]

I find it hilarious that some of the women on here get totally offended at by the guys who say they prefer only younger women, but totally support and validate the older women who say they only date younger men

 

Capircosa didn't you say you were more interested in younger guys before? I could be getting you mixed up with someone else though, but I do remember you saying that you only like large pricks or something to that effect

 

All that being said I myself am a lot more comfortable with women my age range (32-mid forties). I'm not in a good position to date them financially, but that would be my preference. I have been attracted to younger women and kissed one a few months ago, but Im not comfortable with it as a rule

[Eyeofthoth]

Wow -

 

Fascinating responses.

 

I wonder if it is true that most women think they look younger than they do . . . I am not the one deciding how old I look though. It was my friend's friend who assumed that I was between 35 and 43 based upon meeting me. She was not telling this to me so she had no reason to be buttering me up or sparing my feelings. It is the guy who is her friend, so she would want to be completely honest with him.

 

Anyway I think I have decided that this is mainly a maturity issue. Seven years is not that big an age difference. I think an evolved man would not consider it particularly important. I'm just going to go with it and see what happens. If it's a big deal to him then he isn't for me anyway.

[Lizzie60]

Wow -

 

Fascinating responses.

 

I wonder if it is true that most women think they look younger than they do . . . I am not the one deciding how old I look though. It was my friend's friend who assumed that I was between 35 and 43 based upon meeting me. She was not telling this to me so she had no reason to be buttering me up or sparing my feelings. It is the guy who is her friend, so she would want to be completely honest with him.

 

Anyway I think I have decided that this is mainly a maturity issue. Seven years is not that big an age difference. I think an evolved man would not consider it particularly important. I'm just going to go with it and see what happens. If it's a big deal to him then he isn't for me anyway.

 

This is absolutely true.. but not just for women.. men too.

 

People, in general, (I would even say ALL) see themselves looking younger than they really do look to other people.

[vonerik012]

Wow -

 

Fascinating responses.

 

I wonder if it is true that most women think they look younger than they do . . . I am not the one deciding how old I look though. It was my friend's friend who assumed that I was between 35 and 43 based upon meeting me. She was not telling this to me so she had no reason to be buttering me up or sparing my feelings. It is the guy who is her friend, so she would want to be completely honest with him.

 

Anyway I think I have decided that this is mainly a maturity issue. Seven years is not that big an age difference. I think an evolved man would not consider it particularly important. I'm just going to go with it and see what happens. If it's a big deal to him then he isn't for me anyway.

 

LOL.. "An evolved" man....

 

Well, men cannot have preferences if they want to be considered "evolved"

 

You are 7 years older? Well he can easily land 7 years younger. That is a 14 yr age difference.

[vonerik012]

This is also funny..

 

If a younger man is with an older woman, it is because he values her wisdom, experience, etc.(yeah right. Not exactly what men seek in a woman, but it sounds good when trying to get some)

 

If a younger woman is with an older man it is just because of cash! So the vast majority of women, most of whom marry older men, are whores?

 

The problem is women dream up these things to make themselves feel better, and men agree just to get laid. Or if they disagree they are called misogynist, cave men, not evolved etc.

[Eyeofthoth]

I am just saying that to an evolved man, the age number would only be one factor out of many, and unless the difference is really big, most other factors would be more important. Same would be true for the evolved woman.

 

I don't think there are a whole lot of evolved people out there of either gender.

 

No wonder it's hard.

[Jilly Bean]

I personally enjoy older women; those Lizzie's age would be minimum, on up to early 60's (I'm 49). Post-menopausal, experienced, well-traveled and up for adventures of all sorts....yum

 

OP - since you asked for opinions of men from 40-50, if I were you, I would take this response as the most valid of all that responded, since this poster represents the exact demographic of opinion you were seeking.

 

To me, the opinions of guys in their 20s and 30s are irrelevant, as they don't have the experience yet to pontificate on such things.

 

Keep us posted on the date!

[vonerik012]

eye...

 

If a man wants a family one day, or a second family, then he simply can't be with an oder woman.

 

If a man is 100% sure he does not want a family, then he still wants a younger body to have sex with everyday for the rest of his life.

 

Sure, it would be nice if we lived in a society in which neither sex considered factors that the other thought were shallow. But thats not reality.

 

Jilly, if you know 100 40 yr old men, trust me. They aren't usually chasing 60 yr olds... Anyway, isn't carhill married?Is his wife 15 years older?

[Jake Barnes]

Vonerik, most guys 45 dont want a family and most guys 45 are less than two decades from Viagra

 

Its perfectly normal for a 45 y/o to be with a 52 y/o

[vonerik012]

Stats would disagree...

 

Ok what is the only acceptable answer? Men do not care at all about age when finding a mate...

[Jake Barnes]

Stats would disagree...

 

Ok what is the only acceptable answer? Men do not care at all about age when finding a mate...

yes and that its only natural for women to need younger men and be super picky and that women have concrete needs to satisfy and that men seek goodness and wisdom

[Capricciosa]

By the way, I prefer women who are full-breasted, height is not a problem, with auburn or chestnut brown hair.

 

I also take my coffee with lots of cream but no sugar.

 

Please criticize the above too while you are at it!

 

Very, very sensitive, Balthazar. I was just reacting to your post. Guess you better keep dating the younger ones .

[carhill]

Anyway, isn't carhill married?Is his wife 15 years older?

 

Yes, carhill is married and his wife is three months older

 

I married someone my age at 41 because I wanted a family. I dated older women for years until meeting my wife. Generally, the youngest was 10 years older and the oldest was 15 years, gradually reducing as I hit my mid-30's. I also dated women my age but found I had little in common with them emotionally and intellectually, two big compatibility criteria for myself.

 

I know why younger men like Lizzie Also, rules are made to have exceptions. I've made a career out of being one

[vonerik012]

http://bulletin.aarp.org/states/ca/articles/when_men_marry_later_age_gap_is_larger_researchers_find.html

 

 

When men marry later, age gap is larger, researchers find

 

 

 

By Mike Swift

May 7, 2008 (McClatchy-Tribune Regional News delivered by Newstex) --

From politicians like Dennis Kucinich and John McCain, to businessmen like Larry Ellison and Donald Trump, to entertainers like Woody Allen and Larry King, there's no shortage of rich, successful men marrying younger women.

 

The assets of fame, power and big bucks, the belief goes, tend to make up for the debits of time -- gray hair, paunches and assorted wrinkles.

 

But, according to new Stanford University research, the "success" part may not have much to do with it, either. The older a man is when he marries after 40, the greater the likelihood that his bride will be significantly younger -- whether that man is wealthy or not.

 

"The poor guys marry down (in age) just as much as the rich guys do," said Paula England, a Stanford sociologist and co-author of the new study. "That was kind of surprising to us."

 

Men in their 40s tend to marry women who average seven years younger, and men in their 50s are marrying brides who average 11 years younger, according to England's research. And men in the 60s? They marry women who are 13 years younger.

 

"In first marriages, men are typically a couple years older than women," England said. But, "the older men are when they marry, and it doesn't matter whether it's a first or a second marriage, the more years they marry down."

 

'Double standard'

 

England and research partner Elizabeth McClintock of Stanford partially explain their findings as due to

 

major alterations of the family structure following the tumult of the '60s -- more divorces, more remarrying. But they especially point to "a double standard of aging." They say the male ideal of beauty is found in women in their early 20s, and remains fixed as men age.

 

"Women may be a little more indifferent to age than men are," England said, "because they are not judging people as much on looks."

 

Many women agree.

 

Men "don't want to get old," said Paulette Dickerson of San Jose. "We don't worry about it so much because we take care of ourselves."

 

Thi Tran, a 44-year-old social worker from Milpitas, said it always bothered her that women in her mother's generation worried so much about their looks as they aged. But things haven't changed.

 

"We can't deviate from what the TV tells you to look like," she said. "Every day you look at the TV, at magazines, at the newspaper; it's very hard. I see friends that are starting to worry about how they look."

 

While the age differential is narrowing in first marriages, a significant portion of husbands are still substantially older than their wives.

 

In about one-third of American marriages, husbands are at least four years older than their wives, according to 2006 Census data. Wives are more than four years older in just 7 percent.

 

Still, in a first marriage, the median age difference is about 1.6 years between brides and grooms -- much less than a generation ago.

 

That narrowing points to a overall trend toward more egalitarian marriages, argues Stephanie Coontz, author of "Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage."

 

"You're still getting a lot of guys who marry down" in age, Coontz said, "but I think that obscures a trend to more age-equal, more power-equal relationships."

 

What demographers call the "Second Demographic Transition" -- the explosion in divorce after the 1960s -- has increased the potential for wider marital age gaps, with more people marrying or remarrying later in life.

 

Supply and demand

 

With both older and younger men chasing younger women, the law of supply and demand makes the marriage market a tough place for middle-age people of both genders, England said.

 

For women, the marriage market may be limited to potential husbands who are significantly older, because many men of the same age are interested in younger women, she said.

 

Less clear is how lower-income older men are marrying younger women.

 

"We do find that money helps men's chances of getting married," England said. "But if we take youth as our crude measure of beauty, it doesn't seem like men are being able to exchange their money for younger women, so we don't know what's differentiating which older guys are able to marry very young women."

[Capricciosa]

Capircosa didn't you say you were more interested in younger guys before? I could be getting you mixed up with someone else though, but I do remember you saying that you only like large pricks or something to that effect

 

 

No, I generally go out with men older than me--always have. I find men mature a little slowly, so a few years older evens things out for me.

And I did start that thread about size, but the issue was what was too small, not only liking large pricks as you so eloquently put it.

[Jake Barnes]

Yeah but when you see McCain and Kucinich next to their wives dont they look a little obscene and silly

[Capricciosa]

Yeah but when you see McCain and Kucinich next to their wives dont they look a little obscene and silly

 

I think they would look obscene anyway.

[spookie]

http://bulletin.aarp.org/states/ca/articles/when_men_marry_later_age_gap_is_larger_researchers_find.html

 

 

When men marry later, age gap is larger, researchers find

 

 

 

By Mike Swift

May 7, 2008 (McClatchy-Tribune Regional News delivered by Newstex) --

From politicians like Dennis Kucinich and John McCain, to businessmen like Larry Ellison and Donald Trump, to entertainers like Woody Allen and Larry King, there's no shortage of rich, successful men marrying younger women.

 

The assets of fame, power and big bucks, the belief goes, tend to make up for the debits of time -- gray hair, paunches and assorted wrinkles.

 

But, according to new Stanford University research, the "success" part may not have much to do with it, either. The older a man is when he marries after 40, the greater the likelihood that his bride will be significantly younger -- whether that man is wealthy or not.

 

"The poor guys marry down (in age) just as much as the rich guys do," said Paula England, a Stanford sociologist and co-author of the new study. "That was kind of surprising to us."

 

Men in their 40s tend to marry women who average seven years younger, and men in their 50s are marrying brides who average 11 years younger, according to England's research. And men in the 60s? They marry women who are 13 years younger.

 

"In first marriages, men are typically a couple years older than women," England said. But, "the older men are when they marry, and it doesn't matter whether it's a first or a second marriage, the more years they marry down."

 

'Double standard'

 

England and research partner Elizabeth McClintock of Stanford partially explain their findings as due to

 

major alterations of the family structure following the tumult of the '60s -- more divorces, more remarrying. But they especially point to "a double standard of aging." They say the male ideal of beauty is found in women in their early 20s, and remains fixed as men age.

 

"Women may be a little more indifferent to age than men are," England said, "because they are not judging people as much on looks."

 

Many women agree.

 

Men "don't want to get old," said Paulette Dickerson of San Jose. "We don't worry about it so much because we take care of ourselves."

 

Thi Tran, a 44-year-old social worker from Milpitas, said it always bothered her that women in her mother's generation worried so much about their looks as they aged. But things haven't changed.

 

"We can't deviate from what the TV tells you to look like," she said. "Every day you look at the TV, at magazines, at the newspaper; it's very hard. I see friends that are starting to worry about how they look."

 

While the age differential is narrowing in first marriages, a significant portion of husbands are still substantially older than their wives.

 

In about one-third of American marriages, husbands are at least four years older than their wives, according to 2006 Census data. Wives are more than four years older in just 7 percent.

 

Still, in a first marriage, the median age difference is about 1.6 years between brides and grooms -- much less than a generation ago.

 

That narrowing points to a overall trend toward more egalitarian marriages, argues Stephanie Coontz, author of "Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage."

 

"You're still getting a lot of guys who marry down" in age, Coontz said, "but I think that obscures a trend to more age-equal, more power-equal relationships."

 

What demographers call the "Second Demographic Transition" -- the explosion in divorce after the 1960s -- has increased the potential for wider marital age gaps, with more people marrying or remarrying later in life.

 

Supply and demand

 

With both older and younger men chasing younger women, the law of supply and demand makes the marriage market a tough place for middle-age people of both genders, England said.

 

For women, the marriage market may be limited to potential husbands who are significantly older, because many men of the same age are interested in younger women, she said.

 

Less clear is how lower-income older men are marrying younger women.

 

"We do find that money helps men's chances of getting married," England said. "But if we take youth as our crude measure of beauty, it doesn't seem like men are being able to exchange their money for younger women, so we don't know what's differentiating which older guys are able to marry very young women."

 

As I pointed out, these stats have a huge bias because it is the younger chicks who want to get married. A woman in her 50s usually isn't looking to start a family, so she would be ok with having a relationship not resulting in marriage. The younger someone is, the higher the chance they have never been married before and are therefore curious about it, or that they want children and want to be married first; so those old guys' relationships would be overrepresented.

 

Just cause a lot of older-older couples aren't marrying doesn't mean there aren't many in good relationships together. So suck it.

[Eyeofthoth]

Yes. Statistics are funny. I just read somewhere else that at least a third of women over 40 are in relationships with younger men.

 

Whatever.

 

I think I have figured it out now. My first husband was 9 years younger, so my second husband should be about 19 years younger. Then by the time I am in my 80's I will be ready for Harold. . . .

 

Marriage is a funny institution. I don't need it for financial security. I have no illusion that it contributes to long-term fidelity, and I certainly don't want to volunteer to sign on as future nursemaid to someone who is much older than me . . . filthy rich or not!