Question for Guys 40 - 50

[vonerik012]

I've had dates with men with Ivy League educations and they weren't nearly as smart and wonderful as they thought they were. My father never went to college and is one of the brightest men I know who ran his own businesss for generations.

 

 

It's funny. A woman can say the exact same thing I am, yet she is not attacked for it, lol..

 

Now all of a sudden women do not care if a guy is educated, because I said they do want an educated man, and men do not care if a woman has a college degree..

 

Jersey, if it is best for you, wait until you are 45 to start a family, and find a 35 yr old. Good luck with that..

[Jersey Shortie]

You're rebuttled for your comments because they are hyperbole and not even very good hyperboles. You seem to carry a vindictive streak to any woman for the simple fact of being a woman. Regardless of a woman's age, women want men that actually enjoy them, like them, respect them, and think they are beautilful creatures regardless of their age, young or old.

 

All I am saying is a college edcuation doesn't mean your smart, and not having a degree doesn't mean you're dumb. How you took that the wrong way is beyond me.

 

 

Jersey, if it is best for you, wait until you are 45 to start a family, and find a 35 yr old. Good luck with that..

 

Thank you for your unkind words. Is that all you can come up with considering I am even younger then you and find your ideas about women nasty?

 

I never remember saying that was or wasn't what I wanted. But your crusade to carry the torch that men aren't effected by aging and women are, is just not logical. I doubt I will want to start a family at 45. But I know that I will will want to be loved by a man and have a passionate love life when a man that truly respects me and thinks I am sexy and isn't turning his head for college coeds. I want a man that wants to grow and mature. Not remain an over extended image of a frat boy. 45 is too young in this day and age to live a life without any love. And I honestly love men and love the way they can make you feel. I however don't know how any men expects a woman to be able to have a passionate, meaningful, trusting relationship if he just considers her nothing more then a depreciating value after 30.

[soserious1]

Lovely bird made an excellent point.

 

If you are an older female, you have different strengths and weaknesses than a younger woman. You should concentrate on those strengths.

 

If a man wants a younger woman for her youth and fertility, you CANNOT compete with that. Stop trying to say you think you look 15 years younger, or you saw a 70 yr old on tv have a kid.

 

A smart older woman will use her strengths to get a man, and keep him. Trying to look, act, or compete with a 25 yr old does not accentuate those strengths.

 

 

 

And what "strengths" do older women have aside for sometimes being fiscally secure which ,according to you means nothing to men in the dating market.

 

At this point I'm kind of resigned to staying alone, it seems the best alternative.

[vonerik012]

Yes jersey, there are some female I love, and some females whose attitude I cannot stand. I think women are the same.

 

I just had a conversation with a 25 yr old friend who is a very attractive female. She is ready to settle down. She has found men her age ARE NOT. So, she dates men 28-35. That is completely natural.

 

If a woman just wants to just sleep around, then she chooses younger men. Not all women want to just sleep around.

[Alma Mobley]

I only read the last two pages of this thread...wow, what a debate!

 

I would hope no one judges someone else on the basis of a college degree. There are a lot of smart, educated, witty people out there who didn't go to college, for whatever reason.

 

I suppose I do have a problem with any declaration that men don't care whether a woman is educated or not (and I don't mean having a degree). I would not think very highly of an intelligent man who dated and married a bimbo, for example, or a woman who did the same, though that is less prevalent. Just sayin'...

 

I have also noticed in most age-gap relationships that work, it's not about "youth" or "beauty" (male or female) but about life stages and maturity level.

 

BTW, yes, nothing wrong with having preferences, but to rule someone out who has great attributes over some minor thing such as age ("oh, she is two years over my self-imposed age limit") or height ("oh, he's two inches shorter than I prefer") is silly. Right?

[vonerik012]

Alma, lets say you are a 32-38 yr old man who wants to start a family. Age is extremely important. You cannot be blind and just pick a 45 yr old.

 

Women are so silly and defensive, that sometimes they cannot read.

 

I said men do not care, in most cases, if a woman has a degree.

 

I KNOW how some women interpret this .." Oh he is saying he doesn't care if women are intelligent, he just wants them for sex. He wants a bimbo!"

 

That is FAR from what i am saying. I think intellectual stimulation is extremely important. having a watered down college degree does not equate being intelligent, or intellectual by any stretch of the imagination.

[Jersey Shortie]

I just had a conversation with a 25 yr old friend who is a very attractive female. She is ready to settle down. She has found men her age ARE NOT. So, she dates men 28-35. That is completely natural.

 

If a woman just wants to just sleep around, then she chooses younger men. Not all women want to just sleep around.

 

 

 

Not all women need to date older men to have a completely natural healthy, committed relationship. 25 to 28 is a far cry from 25 to 40. I found and dated many men my age who were looking to make a commitment and marriage was their goal. So perhaps its the men she picks. Who knows. I don't understand what drives you to push this mentality as if its the be all and end all of relationships between women and men. You want to give me example of your friends and their life experience but when I relate mine you think it doesn't relate and say as much. Most of my friends that are married are a few years older then me and married men the same age as themselves...give or take 5 years.

[Alma Mobley]

Vonerik,

 

If a man is interested in starting a family at the age of 32-38, I would suspect he would not actively pursue women over 40. I agree with you. That is not what I have a problem with.

[vonerik012]

Exactly Alma, that is all I have been saying..

 

others on the thread keep twisting it saying mens sperm count goes down, women can have babies until 70 etc etc.

 

jersey, I always thought women said they mature faster? Now they dont?

[Alma Mobley]

Vonerik,

 

But, that is not all you are saying, on this thread on others. I don't have a problem with the above, but you seem to be saying that no man in his right mind would have a relationship with a woman 10+ years his senior. (He only wants sex, etc.) That "youth" is the card that trumps all. IS that what you are saying?

[Jersey Shortie]

others on the thread keep twisting it saying mens sperm count goes down,

 

It does. That's science. It's not hard to understand.

 

 

Jersey, I always thought women said they mature faster? Now they dont?

 

I think women can mature faster. But in general I think it's a case by case basis. I think there are different areas girls are better in maturity wise and different areas men are better in maturity wise in their high school developing years. But we are talking about in high school and early college. If a man isn't mature by the time he is 25, what is he waiting for? I'm sorry but an immature man at 20 is a different ball game then an immature man of 25.

[vonerik012]

Yes alma, I am saying that as well.

 

There are SOME exceptions. of course.

 

However, the reason younger men contact, or hit on older women is because they are thinking of sex. Men do not dream of marrying a woman 10 years older. At least 98% of men do not marry a woman 10 years older or more, as we know only 7% of men marry women 4 years older or more.

[Alma Mobley]

Vonerik,

 

I'm sorry, I don't buy it. I think men like women they are attracted to and don't ask for age along with a phone number. Yes, men want to get laid, period, no matter how old, I'll give you that.

 

When men dream of marrying that one person, do they really think about her age too? I don't think so. I think marriage-minded men dream of a nice, intelligent, pretty woman. I don't think they that much about age, as they probably assume "the one" will be around his age. And if that man does dream about his soulmate, he's an idiot if he thinks, "And if I meet her, and she's older, well, I'll have sex with her and boot her..." I don't think men or people for that matter think like that. They want someone compatible, and if they are a little younger or a little older, that won't stop the chemistry, when it's there.

 

Do you know what I mean?

[vonerik012]

Not really alma

 

Men and women often times seek what they find. Will a gold digger start dating a Walmart worker, and then fall in love? Will a tall woman start dating a very short guy, then fall in love?

 

Similar to men with age. Going into it they know how far it can, or cannot go.

[Alma Mobley]

Vonerik,

 

Wait, what?

 

Of course a gold digger won't date a Walmart worker. (See gold digger, def: a woman who associates with or marries a rich man in order to get valuables from him through gifts or a divorce settlement (courtesy of free online dictionary, but I think we can all agree on its meaning)

 

Was that a Freudian slip or something? I thought we were talking about preferences and compatibility. Did you just accidentally label all attractive women "gold diggers"? Just asking.

 

So, men know "how far to go" with a woman of a "certain age." What age is that? What age difference is that? Is this "all men," "most men" or "some men"? Do you think young men who pursue women 10+ somehow strange?

 

I'm curious to find out how you think.

 

Cheers!

[vonerik012]

I think men know within 5 minutes what role a woman can play in their lives.

 

Lets say i meet a very attractive 43 yr old. She is fun, good company, interesting, etc. I might enjoy her company for what it is. I KNOW I will not marry her.(Assuming this is what she is looking for)

 

Yes, I do think most men are like this as well.

[Alma Mobley]

Yes, but how old are you? I am not saying you should settle down with a 43-year-old woman. Not at all. I thought we were talking about preferences and age differences beginning around 10+. Let's say your age is 23, since I don't know it. You would dismiss an intelligent, attractive 33-year-old woman, no matter what your commonalities etc simply based on her age? I don't know your age so that example is for demonstration purposes only.

[Capricciosa]

I don't understand what drives you to push this mentality as if its the be all and end all of relationships between women and men.

 

Face it, he's just eating up all the attention. He is one of the only guys on here, with all these women focused on him--older or not. This is probably more action than he will see in his entire life!!

[vonerik012]

Capri, comments like yours are so juvenile..

 

A 23 yr old guy is typically dumb. He does not think much. If he is getting good sex, he is happy. Does that mean he is thinking of marriage or settling down, like the 33 yr old might be? Most likely not at all.

 

Does he want to marry and have kids with this woman? It might not be anywhere at all on his mind. He is having fun. If she is too, then great. If she wants something serious, she needs to find someone older than 23.

 

I am 32.

[almost famous]

The 26-year old NHL hockey player who is engaged to 38-year old Rachel Hunter disagrees with you.

[Capricciosa]

Capri, comments like yours are so juvenile..

 

I am 32.

 

I just call it as I see it, and it has been generally noticed you are getting off on this thread.

 

And if you are 32, your opinion here is of no use anyway, as the OP was talking about a 45 year old man, who is clearly in a different stage than you are, and the question was to men in their 40s and 50s. Who the hell are you to make all these women feel useless quoting all your inane statistics and pretending you know what it is like for people in a very different age group than you are? That shows both ignorance and arrogance.

[vonerik012]

Ok capri, it is called human nature and instinct. This is why men in their 40's rarely do, and do not want to marry older women. it is biological.

 

 

1. The midlife crisis is a myth—sort of Many believe that men go through a midlife crisis when they are in middle age. Not quite. Many middle-aged men do go through midlife crises, but it's not because they are middle-aged. It's because their wives are. From the evolutionary psychological perspective, a man's midlife crisis is precipitated by his wife's imminent menopause and end of her reproductive career, and thus his renewed need to attract younger women. Accordingly, a 50-year-old man married to a 25-year-old woman would not go through a midlife crisis, while a 25-year-old man married to a 50-year-old woman would, just like a more typical 50-year-old man married to a 50-year-old woman. It's not his midlife that matters; it's hers. When he buys a shiny-red sports car, he's not trying to regain his youth; he's trying to attract young women to replace his menopausal wife by trumpeting his flash and cash.