Question for Guys 40 - 50

[Cherry Blossom 35]

My aerobics teacher is 56 and she is smoking hot, no lie. Face, body, hair, attitude.

[vonerik012]

Dara Torres is a perfect example. She has a perfect lifestyle, works out like crazy, eats well etc. However, she looks 42.. I would never confuse her for being even 30. You can simply just tell by looking at her face.

[Cherry Blossom 35]

Dara Torres is a perfect example. She has a perfect lifestyle, works out like crazy, eats well etc. However, she looks 42.. I would never confuse her for being even 30. You can simply just tell by looking at her face.

 

She is 42! Why does she have to look 30? Why can't 42 be good enough? What is wrong with 42? NOTHING!!!!!!!! Well I guess participating in 5 Olympics and winning 2 silvers at 42 means nothing, because, GASP, she is an older woman. Exasperating.

[vonerik012]

Cherry, lol... Nothing is wrong with her. She is wonderful. I am just commenting on how seemingly every LS woman claims to look 15 years less than what they are...It's just silly. Women can be beautiful at all ages, and desirable. But they still look their age no matter how well they take care of themselves..

[Jersey Shortie]

If the 40 year old man wants children, 43 is way too old. Sorry. He might not want a child the minute her meets you.. Is age just a number when it comes to fertility?

 

No it isn't. It isn't for men or women. Because men loose fertility as they age as well. They are also more prone to have an ill baby. That isn't something regulated to just women. So while a 40 year old man can still have a baby, just like a woman can, the question is, should either really be having one.

[vonerik012]

Men have an extra 10-15 years.. look it up..

[Jersey Shortie]

http://psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20070830-000004.html

 

Again, a 40 year old man can have a baby. But should he is the question.

[vonerik012]

Completely changing the topic... Yes, birth defects are more common, but still miniscule.. So the answer is yes he should..

[Jersey Shortie]

No actually, I'm not changing the topic. I'm right on the topic. You're own point of reference was using a 40 year old man as an example of his superior fertility. Which isn't even correct.

 

40 year old men are on just as much of a "depreciating" value as 40 year old women. (By your standards of what makes any person a "depreciating value", not mine.)

 

A 40 year old man will be almost 60 by the time his child is out of high school and going to college. (Baring in mind he has a healthy child because of his old 40 year old less fertile sperm). He will be working for a few more years to help put his childern through college. Is it really all that logical for anyone in their 40s to be having children? The chances of any older parent being around to raise their offspring is less.

 

And there was nothing in that article from a very reputable source that said that an older man's chances of having a non-healthy baby compared to his 40 year old female counterparts was more miniscule then hers.

 

Did you acutally read the article?

 

From the article:

 

Nonetheless, a virtual tidal wave of recent research has made it irrefutable: Not only does male fertility decrease decade by decade, especially after age 35, but aging sperm can be a significant and sometimes the only cause of severe health and developmental problems in offspring, including autism, schizophrenia, and cancer. The older the father, the higher the risk. But what's truly noteworthy is not that infertility increases with age—to some degree, we've known that all along—but rather that older men who can still conceive may have such damaged sperm that they put their offspring at risk for many types of disorders and disabilities.

 

Studies worldwide have found that with each passing decade of their lives and with each insult they inflict on their bodies, men's fertility decreases, while genetic risk to offspring slowly mounts. The range of findings is staggering: Several studies have shown that the older the man, the more fragmented the DNA in his ejaculated sperm, resulting in greater risk for infertility, miscarriage or birth defects

 

Fisch has found that when both parents are over 35, paternal aging may be responsible for as many as half of all cases of Down syndrome, formerly thought to be inherited from the mother.

 

Please tell me again why a man or woman should have a baby after 40?

 

I'm beginning to think women are in touch with their own mortality more then some men.

 

I wanted to add that my Uncle married my younger aunt and at 64 died from a heart attack leaving her alone with 4 children from ages 4-10, at the time.

[Art_Critic]

I'm 45.. my baby boy is 6 months old...

 

Tell me why is it that I should not have had him again ?...

 

So I'll be in my 60's when he graduates from school ?.. So what ?.. Who said that a parent must be young when they send their children off to fend for themselves..

 

I can tell you 20 positive things that say me having a child in my 40's is a great thing..

You can only say that defects are higher ( that is a crap statistic by the way ) and I will be 60 when he leaves home... pffftttttt... who cares ??

[spookie]

 

I can tell you 20 positive things that say me having a child in my 40's is a great thing..

You can only say that defects are higher ( that is a crap statistic by the way ) and I will be 60 when he leaves home... pffftttttt... who cares ??

 

Art, I'm with you.

 

My parents had me in their mid-twenties. Not young, not old, but they ended up immigrating from y place of birth and my childhood was very hard because we moved around all over as they settled down.

 

They had my awesome baby brother when my mom was 43 and my dad was 45. He is smart, cute, nice... a great kid. And they're far better parents, due to their life experience and good financial situation. I know I'm lucky that I'll get more time with them, but tbh I'm a little jealous of his awesome childhood.

 

From what I've seen, kids who are born to older parents turn out BETTER.

[Jersey Shortie]

Art-Critic, I never said a parent must be young when they send their child off into the real world. But I am being realistic about the challenges an older parent can face. Men and women alike. Because we are in the same boat more then we care to acknowledge.

 

I am only making the point that older men carry the same risks when it comes to aging as women do. We are all human. None of us want to be thought of as "less" for getting older. You included considering your response. Vonerik included for which he fights so hard to prove his porints. And even me for my challenges in this thread as well.

 

You can say the statistics are crap all you want but the article I posted is from a reputable sourse. And saying it is "crap", isn't exactly a scientic study itself.

 

I'm glad you have a healthy baby boy that you love. I'm glad you are able to have a family. I just think we should be honest about aging for both genders and not try to tear women down for the fact they get older but talk about how superior men are for getting older.

[Art_Critic]

Art-Critic, I never said a parent must be young when they send their child off into the real world. But I am being realistic about the challenges an older parent can face. Men and women alike. Others don't seem to want to admit it.

 

I think if you lived ONE day in my shoes you would see why having a beautiful child in my 40's is a wonderful thing and not a bad thing..

 

Sure.. I'll be older.. I'm also more stable.. have more money that I did when I was younger..

I am more mature and will be a better father/husband in my 40's than when I was younger...

 

I have never torn a woman down in this thread because they get older or aren't as superior as men.. I've made no assertions like that....

 

and as far as defects.. we all weigh those choices when we try and conceive.. when I was in my 30's and going to a fertility specialist ( in my first marriage ) and going thru invitro with her I was very in tune and educated on the stats on defects..

 

Even an 18 year old man can have sperm that can create a defect.. it isn't only older men..

Just the same as women..

With women the rate of defects is much much higher than with men as we age..

[almost famous]

Dara Torres is a perfect example. She has a perfect lifestyle, works out like crazy, eats well etc. However, she looks 42.. I would never confuse her for being even 30. You can simply just tell by looking at her face.

 

 

Sure. That is Dara Torres. She is 42 and looks 42. I am me. I am 40 and look early 30's. She is actually 41, and she does look older than I do. She also has a healthy 2 year old baby as do many, many, many women in their 40s.

[Art_Critic]

From what I've seen, kids who are born to older parents turn out BETTER.

 

Spookie.. you turned out just as good as your brother...

 

I'm sure your parents are a different type of parent than when they raised you.. but they were also good parents when they raised you too...

[almost famous]

vonerik, if women like Dara Torres listened to you, she wouldn't have a lovely baby girl. Neither would Marcia Cross (twins at 42), my coworker who is 39, etc. etc. etc.

[Jersey Shortie]

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[COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]I think if you lived ONE day in my shoes you would see why having a beautiful child in my 40's is a wonderful thing and not a bad thing..

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[COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]I NEVER said it was a bad thing. You are a 40 year old man that was able to have a healthy child. There are 40 year old women that are able to have healthy children as well. There are 40 year old men that are not able to have healthy children and 40 year old women as well. I am sure any woman that is able to have a child at 40, thinks it is a wonderful thing as well. [/FONT][/COLOR]

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Sure.. I'll be older.. I'm also more stable.. have more money that I did when I was younger..

I am more mature and will be a better father/husband in my 40's than when I was younger...

 

The same can be applied to a 40 year old woman and mother/wife.

 

Just like anything, there are pluses and minuses to all things. It worked out that you had a child in your 40s. That's fine. That doesn't mean that is what all fathers and husbands should do is wait for their 40s before they start having children. Ask any doctor and they will tell you that it is better to have children sooner then later for men and women on a purely biological level.

 

 

I have never torn a woman down in this thread because they get older or aren't as superior as men.. I've made no assertions like that....

 

I never said you did. But there are others here that are. There are others here being unrealistic about the state of 40 year old men, who just like their 40 year old female counterparts, are aging. A man at 40 is less fertile and has more possiblity of unhealthy sperm. It is a new concept for us as we were all lead to believe that men are indistructable well into old age. And that men are better with old age where women aren't. It turns out that while men can be better mentally and emotionally as they age and gain life experience, just as women can, they phsyically are not as indistructable as they once thought. The difference here is that women were told from the get go that their youth mattered, now it turns out that we discovered that same is true for men. Men and women aren't so different in that regard as was once believed. The gap is closing and I am sure with more time and research, that gap will close more.

 

We live in a point in history where women are able to provide for themselves and do not need to pick older established males to take care of them as they once use to do. The dynamics of family and relationships have changed and have given way to a more even playing field.

 

Even an 18 year old man can have sperm that can create a defect.. it isn't only older men..

 

I never said younger men couldn't have sperm defects. The scientific and biological fact remains, that when looking at age, older men are more prone to carry less fertile and less healthy age declining sperm.

 

Just the same as women..

With women the rate of defects is much much higher than with men as we age..

 

That is a misnomer. Why would one think that when it takes two people, a man and a woman, to conceive a child, that only the woman would be responsible for birth defects at a higher rate then the man? Does that mean that all of the child's good qualities also come from the woman more strongly then the father?

 

Why would one think, that when both men and women age, that women are the only ones effected by old age? Men get achy joints just the same, men get sun spots just the same, men gain weight just the same and men's fertility lessens just the same and men slow down, just the same. [/FONT][/COLOR]

[Shygirl15]

I don't really understand the point of the debate whether women could look younger. I don't know about "younger", but better, healthier, fitter, for sure. There are some women on this other site I frequent (bodybuilding forums) who look hotter in their 40s and 50s than they did in their 20s. To say men will always prefer younger women is BS. Overweight 38 vs. Ms Fitness 55... I guarantee that the older woman gets checked out far more often.

 

Super excellent point, Spookie.

 

I know I definitely look better now than I did when I was 20, which is why people who think looking good means looking young surprise me. I was super chubby at 20, and during most of my 20s but got back in shape towards end of my 20s. I'm definitely proud of my figure now than I did 10 years ago.

[Balthazar]

Back from a 4 day holiday, and this thread is going strong(I had a feeling it would).

 

Problem is, I see many women answering in what is a man's thread.

(Interesting, but is the OP getting the feedback she wants?).

 

And I have to go back to a point I made.

 

Ladies, do you really think you know what we find attractive better than we do?

 

You can argue about how fit Dana Torres is, how sexy Teri Hatcher may still be etc. until the cows come home.

 

What I know is that when it's gone, it's gone.

 

There is a hormonal magic to the young woman, which drives men crazy.

This subsides over the years, and that's Ok; because that is how nature meant it to be.

 

A woman can still look good, and be desirable in her 40's and 50's.

 

But to most men(myself included), she will never look better that she did when she was young.

 

In any case, to each his/her own.

 

Just don't criticize us for expressing our preferences.

 

CHeers all,

[Shygirl15]

You insulted a whole bunch of people, Shygirl. That's kinda immature. How old are you? I'm going to bet a whole bunch of money that you look far older than your age which is why you can't/won't accept that many people look younger than their number. It's a jealously thing on your part. That's sad.

 

31. I very much look my age.

 

I do not believe I insulted anyone, Lonestar, just expressing honest opinion. I think in order to have productive conversation on these threads, we all should be open to a variety of opinions and not take offense all the time. However, once someone says something different than majority, they get labelled as jealous, rude etc, etc. That's what I think is sad, really.

[Jersey Shortie]

There is a hormonal magic to the young woman, which drives men crazy.

This subsides over the years, and that's Ok; because that is how nature meant it to be.

 

Then there is no point in falling in love with a man, having a family with him, building a life together after all. There is no point in giving him your love and time and energy if this is how men treat and think of women. Because if at the end of the day, all men care about is youth, then it's obvious that women are nothing more then a commodity to men with little value. If the reward a woman gets for giving a man children and sharing a life with him is his debasement of her for aging, there is no incentive that men really give women to want to give any of their love and vulnerablity too. And when your wife gets too old you can take her out back and shoot her and date your daughter's friends. It's a win win for everyone!

 

 

But to most men(myself included), she will never look better that she did when she was young.

 

Most men look better when they are young as well. As well as are more sexually potent.

[flc]

 

There is a hormonal magic to the young woman, which drives men crazy.

This subsides over the years, and that's Ok; because that is how nature meant it to be.

 

A woman can still look good, and be desirable in her 40's and 50's.

 

But to most men(myself included), she will never look better that she did when she was young.

 

 

Are you really speaking for most men or just men under 40? As stated I prefer women in their 40s over women in their 20s or 30s and there are plenty of women in that age range that are better looking and in better shape than their younger counterparts. I think you can find an attractive partner in any age range and your more likely to want a partner closer to your own age. Also, I have seen no evidence that sex drive decreases, yet, and hopefully not for a long time

[Balthazar]

Then there is no point in falling in love with a man, having a family with him, building a life together after all. There is no point in giving him your love and time and energy if this is how men treat and think of women. Because if at the end of the day, all men care about is youth, then it's obvious that women are nothing more then a commodity to men with little value. If the reward a woman gets for giving a man children and sharing a life with him is his debasement of her for aging, there is no incentive that men really give women to want to give any of their love and vulnerablity too. And when your wife gets too old you can take her out back and shoot her and date your daughter's friends. It's a win win for everyone!

 

 

Most men look better when they are young as well. As well as are more sexually potent.

 

No way Jersey!

I expressed what ATTRACTS me to a woman. What keeps me there is quite a different matter.

 

I may be attracted to woman's youth and vitality(fertility?), but what keeps me there is the love and trust that comes as we bond as a couple.

At some point children come along, and they are the embodiment of a husband and woman becoming ONE.

Possibly the most beautiful thing in our lives.

 

So NO! Women are not a commodity and I am in NO way advocating putting your wife aside for a "newer" model.

To do so would be to disrespect her, yourself and your children.

 

I think you jumped to too many conclusions from my statements.

 

Second, I accept your points concerning men, but is that the topic of this thread?

[Balthazar]

Are you really speaking for most men or just men under 40? As stated I prefer women in their 40s over women in their 20s or 30s and there are plenty of women in that age range that are better looking and in better shape than their younger counterparts. I think you can find an attractive partner in any age range and your more likely to want a partner closer to your own age. Also, I have seen no evidence that sex drive decreases, yet, and hopefully not for a long time

 

I agree with your points.

Preferences are different for each person.

 

I am 38, and am speaking for myself and from my experience and talks with other males of similar ages..

[Jersey Shortie]

I may be attracted to woman's youth and vitality(fertility?), but what keeps me there is the love and trust that comes as we bond as a couple.

 

But how do men expect women to have love and trust in them as men if men consider women replacable, or less worthy of male affection, for having the nerve to age? 20 year old college girls trump all is the message I garner from men. No matter what his age is, 20 or 50. No real live breathing human woman can ever live up to those unfair expectations.

 

 

So NO! Women are not a commodity...

 

Apparently to some degree some men do see women as nothing more of a commodity for their youth. When the Olsen Twins turned 18, there were websites dedicated to having a count down clock to when they would be "legal". How many women make websites dedicated to when young 17 year old boys finally turn 18 and are now "legal"?

 

How much porn is out there where the majority of women in it are in the 18-25 age range. Even as a woman in her youth, it's depressing. Because what men value, completely makes women seem to be less deserving of male affection for the fact they age. At some point, men obviously stop finding women less important and worthy of them.

 

I HATE when a man is out with his wife or family and he checks me out. It is SO disrespectful to his own wife and family. You can't win with men. Can I look foward to the years that my husband "loves" me but is in public and he is checking out the age group that I am now? Or counting down the says for a celebrity actress to turn 18? Is that what men give women to look forward to?

 

and I am in NO way advocating putting your wife aside for a "newer" model. To do so would be to disrespect her, yourself and your children.

 

But don't men do this in mild or greater forms everyday? How many 40+ year old men are infront of their computer masturbating to images of perfect bodied 20 year old women who have 40+ year old wives? Who also might even have daughters the same age. How do men expect women to sincerely trust them and want to be vulneable with them in the face of this?

 

 

 

Second, I accept your points concerning men, but is that the topic of this thread?

 

I thought the topic of this thread was age in relation to men and women, what is so far off about what I am discussing?