Question for Guys 40 - 50

[vonerik012]

I'm not complaining..Just an observation on many threads

 

All men get rejected all the time. No surprise there. Younger, older, same age. Does not really matter.

 

You are the one ignoring biology.. Are you making the case that it makes biological sense for a man who is 32 to marry a 40 yr old to start a family? Thats what this thread is about. In the reverse, 40 yr old men have no problem having a child with a 32 yr old woman. Sorry.. Thats the biological reality.

 

American women aren't all about the money? lol I don't think the 40 yr old man who married the hot 30 yr old foreign girl really cares about what the average overweight 45 yr old American chick thinks about his decision. She is just jealous as she is the one that wanted his money, in most cases.

 

Why would you make jokes about a man marrying a woman from another country? She is not human? You are somehow better than her?

[soserious1]

Come on...

 

Just as many women are posting, ripping on older men as being boring, not fertile, out of shape, couch potatoes..

 

Older men prefer women their age or younger, and they can easily obtain that. Thats life.

 

Any 40 year old can even go abroad and marry a beautiful, younger , intelligent woman.

 

Worse case scenario? She is using him.. Well, its not like American women aren't expecting a man to take care of them either..

 

and once again... and if that's what those men want to do Von,they're totally within their rights to pursue the sort of woman they think will make them happy.

 

If I cannot find a partner that's suitable for me, I will settle for staying alone,without a relationship and paying for casual sex for physical release. As far as money goes, I paid for the last man in bed and I'm now paying him to leave,paying another won't be anything new.

[Cherry Blossom 35]

Many people don't want children. Biology is not the driving force. Perhaps, *gasp*, people actually fall in love with one another for reasons that go way beyond physical attributes...

 

Vonerick, if all the women you know are money obsessed, you really need to expand your social circle. I live in the city. We all live in little apartments and half of us don't have cars, by choice. We go out and talk about issues that matter to us. Rarely do I have conversations with my girlfriends that revolve around the latest shoes or what labels we are wearing. We talk about our lives, and the world around us, and current events. We talk about men, too LOL. The point is that I don't even recognize these "women" you talk about in your posts. Money hungry, b*****y, materialistic. I don't know people like that. Why don't you go volunteer at a soup kitchen? I guarantee you will meet people who care more about who you are as a person than what kind of car you drive.

[soserious1]

Many people don't want children. Biology is not the driving force. Perhaps, *gasp*, people actually fall in love with one another for reasons that go way beyond physical attributes...

 

Vonerick, if all the women you know are money obsessed, you really need to expand your social circle. I live in the city. We all live in little apartments and half of us don't have cars, by choice. We go out and talk about issues that matter to us. Rarely do I have conversations with my girlfriends that revolve around the latest shoes or what labels we are wearing. We talk about our lives, and the world around us, and current events. We talk about men, too LOL. The point is that I don't even recognize these "women" you talk about in your posts. Money hungry, b*****y, materialistic. I don't know people like that. Why don't you go volunteer at a soup kitchen? I guarantee you will meet people who care more about who you are as a person than what kind of car you drive.

 

 

I was more than all done with the pregnancy/baby trip by the time I was 31.I'm glad I can no longer have children and don't have that small anxiety every monthly awaiting my monthly visitor.

 

And about money, I doubt many people of either sex get to 45 or so and expect that somebody's going to swoop down and rescue them fiscally. I don't think 45 yr old gold diggers are all that common.

[vonerik012]

Cherry,

 

So you would fall in love with a guy 5 inches shorter, and ignore that? You said love should ignore all physical attributes.

 

And secondly, many of my posts were prefaced with "A man who wants a family". For men who don't they still actually would be more interested in a woman their age or younger. Some people think long term, and some people think day to day. It depends on the type of person.

[Cherry Blossom 35]

I was more than all done with the pregnancy/baby trip by the time I was 31.I'm glad I can no longer have children and don't have that small anxiety every monthly awaiting my monthly visitor.

 

And about money, I doubt many people of either sex get to 45 or so and expect that somebody's going to swoop down and rescue them fiscally. I don't think 45 yr old gold diggers are all that common.

 

Most women I know are saving and investing their own money. We're not stupid.

[soserious1]

Most women I know are saving and investing their own money. We're not stupid.

 

 

I've worked since I was 13, I've supported my family as a sole bread winner for years.

[Cherry Blossom 35]

Cherry,

 

So you would fall in love with a guy 5 inches shorter, and ignore that? You said love should ignore all physical attributes.

 

And secondly, many of my posts were prefaced with "A man who wants a family". For men who don't they still actually would be more interested in a woman their age or younger. Some people think long term, and some people think day to day. It depends on the type of person.

 

I did NOT say love should ignore all physical attributes. What I am saying is that some of us don't come into dating with a list. We fall for the person. I don't discount someone because they don't have enough hair, or they are too short. You are twisting my words and using "all or nothing" thinking.

 

As I am 5.2, a man 5 inches shorter than me would be a 5th grader. So no, I do not want to date a 5th grader.

[soserious1]

Cherry,

 

So you would fall in love with a guy 5 inches shorter, and ignore that? You said love should ignore all physical attributes.

 

And secondly, many of my posts were prefaced with "A man who wants a family". For men who don't they still actually would be more interested in a woman their age or younger. Some people think long term, and some people think day to day. It depends on the type of person.

 

ok vonerik, if ALL the men want younger women, then this means I will just have to accept that I am too old and unattractive to find a man and I'll have to stay alone.

 

Does that response satisfy you?

[vonerik012]

For the 100'th time, I said men want women their age OR younger...Typically, for a ltr.

 

Don't even talk about a list...Women's lists are about 20 times as long...Read some of these threads..

 

I am just stating the obvious fact that the vast majority of men do not fall in love and marry women older, and just think age is only a number. Can we not be picky on that one criteria? Women are picky on several.

 

Or another way to put it, height for women, is like age for men..

[Jake Barnes]

For the 100'th time, I said men want women their age OR younger...Typically, for a ltr.

 

Don't even talk about a list...Women's lists are about 20 times as long...Read some of these threads..

 

I am just stating the obvious fact that the vast majority of men do not fall in love and marry women older, and just think age is only a number. Can we not be picky on that one criteria? Women are picky on several.

 

Or another way to put it, height for women, is like age for men..

You've touched such a raw nerve you've inspired spin off threads

[soserious1]

For the 100'th time, I said men want women their age OR younger...Typically, for a ltr.

 

Don't even talk about a list...Women's lists are about 20 times as long...Read some of these threads..

 

I am just stating the obvious fact that the vast majority of men do not fall in love and marry women older, and just think age is only a number. Can we not be picky on that one criteria? Women are picky on several.

 

Or another way to put it, height for women, is like age for men..

 

I'm 5ft 9, my stbx is 5ft 6 and I've supported the household for many years. I'm an average woman and did the things that needed to be done to make sure my family was cared for. I've never lived the kind of lifestyle you're describing where women view men as walking wallets.

 

 

So again, I repeat, if most men want younger women, then I will have to accept that I am too old and unattractive to find a new relationship and I will have to remain alone. Does this answer satisfy you ? yes or no?

[Art_Critic]

For the 100'th time, I said men want women their age OR younger...Typically, for a ltr.

 

I think it has become apparent V that you have no idea what all men want..

 

I myself have dated older as many here on LS have..

My first wife was over 2 years older than me....

[soserious1]

I think it has become apparent V that you have no idea what all men want..

 

I myself have dated older as many here on LS have..

My first wife was over 2 years older than me....

 

One thing I don't think V understands is that as one grows older you come to understand that there's no lonely like the kind of lonely you experience when you're living with someone whom you share nothing except their need.

 

Hooking up with somebody,anybody just so that you can say you've got a partner isn't better than being alone...

[vonerik012]

Art.. Is your current wife older?

 

And 2 years? Thats barely older...I am talking 7-10, 15 years...I said men are happy with a woman their own age, what is the problem?

[soserious1]

Art.. Is your current wife older?

 

And 2 years? Thats barely older...I am talking 7-10, 15 years...I said men are happy with a woman their own age, what is the problem?

 

 

 

Are you deliberately ignoring my question?

 

So again, I repeat, if most men want younger women, then I will have to accept that I am too old and unattractive to find a new relationship and I will have to remain alone. Does this answer satisfy you ? yes or no?

 

oh and you did NOT say men are happy with a woman their own age, you've said that the "vast majority" want and prefer younger women

[vonerik012]

SOSO

 

Do you want something to last? Then find a man your age or older.. Maybe a year or 2 younger.

 

Many of you keep thinking I hate women... The worst advice I could give to you would be to seek younger men. They will most likely waste your time and dump you when you age..Then your realistic options are that much smaller.

 

It's the same advice i would give my sister.

[Art_Critic]

Art.. Is your current wife older?

 

And 2 years? Thats barely older...I am talking 7-10, 15 years...I said men are happy with a woman their own age, what is the problem?

 

My wife is 39.. I'm 45... that is 6 years.. actually a little under

[vonerik012]

Exactly Art... So would you overlook age and marry a woman who is 55, while being 45? Thats all i am saying...

[soserious1]

SOSO

 

Do you want something to last? Then find a man your age or older.. Maybe a year or 2 younger.

 

Many of you keep thinking I hate women... The worst advice I could give to you would be to seek younger men. They will most likely waste your time and dump you when you age..Then your realistic options are that much smaller.

 

It's the same advice i would give my sister.

 

I spent my life care taking, 1st as the oldest of 7 children, then as wife and a mother. I'm not interested in devoting the last 1/3 of my life to care taking for a man who doesn't share my life goals or interests.I'd rather be alone.

[Art_Critic]

Exactly Art... So would you overlook age and marry a woman who is 55, while being 45? Thats all i am saying...

 

My first wife was infertile when we married.. She did have a daughter..

I married her knowing that I would never be a biological father..

 

It just so happens that she got pregnant a year into the marriage...She miscarried at 3 months..

We then spent the next 3 or so years doing everything under the sun to have a child including invitro.. it all failed.. including the marriage..

 

When I had a chance to start over one of the things I learned about myself was that I wanted to be a father.. not just a step father like I was before.

 

So when I started dating again at the approx. age of 39 I was choosing women not for their age but if they wanted to have kids.. since that was a fairly high priority for me..

With the advances in infertility I knew I didn't have to limit my age range to only younger for that to happen,

I dated older than me as well...

 

It just so happens that I fell in love with a slightly younger women.. but her age had nothing to do with why I dated her..

[soserious1]

I'm going to ask this question yet again for the 4th time.

 

Von

 

if most men want younger women, then I will have to accept that I am too old and unattractive to find a new relationship and I will have to remain alone. Does this answer satisfy you ? yes or no?

 

As far as choosing older men goes, my soon to be ex,the guy locked in his den right now swilling down a snifter a Remy and rubbing himself raw to a porn subscription paid for with my wages, will most likely be banging lucious big tittied babes on the alimony I'll be paying him ? he's older than I am so there are no guarentee's in this life, none at all.

[DMoon]

To be honest, I have lurked here on LS for about two months before I started posting. (Standard procedure for me -- I like to get a feel for boards before I start posting.)

 

There does seem to be some some animosity towards older women -- as though they should accept their fate as being useless and go off quietly. I find that disturbing. I have no idea where this springs from.

 

Soserious, I have read your threads and I feel for you. I hope you find a way to separate from your husband without losing too much of your retirement. I hope you hired a really mean lawyer and have evidence of your husband's porn use and his neglect of you.

 

No matter what these young guys say, you are not doomed to never meet someone else who can keep up with you. I am sure there are men within your age group (plus or minus 10 years) who would love to share the same activities. The guys posting here about older women are in their 20s and possibly 30s. Their opinions don't count. (This goes to the OP as well.)

 

I am 36, and even I am getting sick of the garbage posted here, as though women over 35 should remove themselves from the dating pool as to not offend their sensibilities, lol!

 

Good luck to you, soserious, and you too, eyeofthoth.

 

I agree. I look my age-33. I cannot possibly compete with dewy 18-25 year old but I don’t think I look all shriveled and used. Women live much longer then over a century ago, the age is closing in on 80, therefore we are confronted with not always relying on a man for huge swaths of time. Many of us who are not born of wealth have to be self-sufficient especially if we are not spectacularly physically fortunate like say Jessica Alba, etc. I never seen or looked for prince on some white horse. I had to go to school, work, etc to earn my keep in America.

 

So what are some women supposed to do? When we hit 30 in the manner of Logan’s Run-and are not married and pregnant to shoot ourselves?

 

I don’t understand. Men continue to have and will always have options until the grave, thus I don’t get the seething contempt for women who age. Hugh Hefner has women pawing on him who are 60 years younger than him. I’m sure every man in the first world mentally high-fived Michael Douglas for marrying and pushing out two more kids, despite the 25 year age difference. George Lucas, Rupert Murdoch, Trump, and Woody Allen (gross!) had no problem exercising their male privilege to be with younger women. Women on the other hand are just husks and should be happy remaining asexual spinsters or wet nurses to younger people before gracefully removing themselves from existence by dying in a dusty old house alone.

[soserious1]

Women on the other hand are just husks and should be happy remaining asexual spinsters or wet nurses to younger people before gracefully removing themselves from existence by dying in a dusty old house alone.

 

Lol, what really gets everybody chuffed is when an older woman says " ok, let's skip the wet nurse to younger people part, I'd rather stay alone"

 

I spent most of my life taking care of other people, I think on the whole that it was time well spent and I do love my family but for the precious time I've got left I want something different, I want my priorities to be about what please me to give myself the first helpings of things,not the scraps left over after I've served everyone else.

[bish]

My question is, why are people so offended by a woman who claims she looks younger than she is?

 

Nobody is offended by that. But it is a turn off when a woman is obviously in love with herself. I don't like conceited women.