Question for Guys 40 - 50

[vonerik012]

Biologically men do not live shorter lives. Sorry..

 

In this society they do, as they are more prone to being work- a -holics, go to the doctor less, engage in riskier behavior, etc. Those are not biological reasons. Those are societal, sorry.

 

1. Men can have children later than women

2. Men are physically attracted to youthful beauty.

3. And women are generally seeking a provider, wisdom, security, maturity, strength.

 

If your advice is for 30 year old women to start a family with a 23 yr old man, that is about the worst advice I have ever heard in my entire life.

 

It really does not matter what the women on loveshack think, because in the real world, younger women are very attracted to older men, for a real relationship. You don't find too many 30 yr old women trying to marry 20 year olds, lol.. But you see plenty wanting to marry 40 year olds.

 

In the reverse, very few men want to marry a woman 10 years older. Sorry. It is just too obvious to even try and debate.

[vonerik012]

I don't understand what point the females are tying to make?

 

Some of us on the thread would not have a ltr with an older women. Some men said they would, but they married a younger woman. I did not hear any man say he would marry a much older women.

 

Every man I have ever known likes younger women. (I don't mean casual sex with milfs)

 

Sorry, thats life. If younger men are offering marriage, then go for it.

[soserious1]

Biologically men do not live shorter lives. Sorry..

 

In this society they do, as they are more prone to being work- a -holics, go to the doctor less, engage in riskier behavior, etc. Those are not biological reasons. Those are societal, sorry.

 

1. Men can have children later than women

2. Men are physically attracted to youthful beauty.

3. And women are generally seeking a provider, wisdom, security, maturity, strength.

 

If your advice is for 30 year old women to start a family with a 23 yr old man, that is about the worst advice I have ever heard in my entire life.

 

It really does not matter what the women on loveshack think, because in the real world, younger women are very attracted to older men, for a real relationship. You don't find too many 30 yr old women trying to marry 20 year olds, lol.. But you see plenty wanting to marry 40 year olds.

 

In the reverse, very few men want to marry a woman 10 years older. Sorry. It is just too obvious to even try and debate.

 

 

I live in the USA and on average men here die 5-7 yrs younger than women,that is a fact. If my goal is to minimize the number of years I spend alone towards the end of my life span it would only make sense for me to choose a man 5-7 yrs my junior if the only factor I'm considering is biology.

 

You have repeatedly advised me to jump up and grab a man as much as 10-12 yrs my senior regardless of whether or not we have anything in common, you warn that this will decrease my chances of ending up "alone"

 

If the guy's 10 yrs my senior and he's going to die 5-7 yrs earlier than I do, I'm going to end up alone anyway aren't I?

[vonerik012]

LOL

 

Ok good marry a man that is 7 years younger...

 

Life isn't fair and easy for men or women.

 

Women are typically attracted to taller men.

 

Men are typically attracted to younger women.

 

Thats life.

 

In one way or another, you will have to settle. If you want a younger man, then perhaps marry a short one. Or a poor one. Or a beta type.

 

Younger, successful, and attractive men who have things going on do not want to settle down with an older woman. Sorry.

[soserious1]

LOL

 

Ok good marry a man that is 7 years younger...

 

Life isn't fair and easy for men or women.

 

Women are typically attracted to taller men.

 

Men are typically attracted to younger women.

 

Thats life.

 

In one way or another, you will have to settle. If you want a younger man, then perhaps marry a short one. Or a poor one. Or a beta type.

 

Younger, successful, and attractive men who have things going on do not want to settle down with an older woman. Sorry.

 

 

My soon to be ex husband stands 5ft 6 to my 5ft 9, he hasn't brought home a paycheck in years. From where I sit "settling" doesn't work out too well.

 

I'd rather stay alone and pay for sex when I want it, being a cougar in your bar would be better than "settling" again for what I had.

[shadowplay]

Biologically men do not live shorter lives. Sorry..

 

In this society they do, as they are more prone to being work- a -holics, go to the doctor less, engage in riskier behavior, etc. Those are not biological reasons. Those are societal, sorry.

 

1. Men can have children later than women

2. Men are physically attracted to youthful beauty.

3. And women are generally seeking a provider, wisdom, security, maturity, strength.

 

If your advice is for 30 year old women to start a family with a 23 yr old man, that is about the worst advice I have ever heard in my entire life.

 

It really does not matter what the women on loveshack think, because in the real world, younger women are very attracted to older men, for a real relationship. You don't find too many 30 yr old women trying to marry 20 year olds, lol.. But you see plenty wanting to marry 40 year olds.

 

In the reverse, very few men want to marry a woman 10 years older. Sorry. It is just too obvious to even try and debate.

 

Yes, men DO live biologically shorter lives. If you look at the list of longest living people in history they are 95% female. This is across societies and cultures. Nurture may play some role, but most scientists believe that women are naturally longer lived than men. Do a little research.

[Shygirl15]

Below quoted statement was just a general observation and does not refer to anyone specifically.

 

Thank you.

 

Call me whatever, but I happen to 100% agree with what Balthazar and Vonerik have said on this thread.

 

Let's just very respectfully agree to disgaree on this topic. It's okay for people to have different opinions, just don't understand why some have problems accepting this.

[Taramere]

Some of us on the thread would not have a ltr with an older women.

 

With the post count you're accumulating, you wouldn't have the time.

[Jersey Shortie]

1. Men can have children later than women

 

But should they? And why would a woman want to have a child with a man that had aging sperm? At least, that is your line of reasoning. Why would a man want to have a child with an older woman because of her child-bearing health. the same in reverse is true.

 

 

2. Men are physically attracted to youthful beauty.

 

And what happens once the woman this man married in her youthful beauty gets older? Is she out the door with a kick to the ass because she is no longer worth while to him?

 

3. And women are generally seeking a provider, wisdom, security, maturity, strength.

 

I know men in their 40s who can't provide wisdom, security, maturity, strength and men in their 20s/30s that can. If a man in his 20s and 30s is able to provide this, why would a woman settle for a 40 year old man?

 

 

 

It really does not matter what the women on loveshack think, because in the real world, younger women are very attracted to older men, for a real relationship. You don't find too many 30 yr old women trying to marry 20 year olds, lol.. But you see plenty wanting to marry 40 year olds.

 

As I've stated. I see many relationships where people are about the same age. Few where the age difference is that vast. You like to play it off that that is all the relationships in the world are made of. Which isn't true. None of my friends have or are dating someone much older then themselves. Most of the people I know in relationships are with people in the same age range. As I said, the only people I know with a big age gap are my own parents. And my mom, being a voice of experience strongly hopes I marry someone within my age range. Not a man with a significant age gap. At some point that man will be another child that woman has to take care of. That is unfair to her.

 

So while you want to trap all younger women into relationship with older men, the truth is, alot of women today don't see the need to settle for someone that hugely older then themselves.

 

Vonerik are you a short man? you seem to be quite upset about the height thing. I don't really even know a woman that is that die hard about height as you are about age in women. When yo uget married I jsut hope you don't kick your wife out the door for something younger just becasue she had the nerve to be human and age.

[grogster]

With the post count you're accumulating, you wouldn't have the time.

 

 

Zing! Zing!

[almost famous]

Yeah, I have never heard women really talk about height preferences at all, it's never really been a factor. I am almost 5'8" and have dated up to 2 inches shorter, it's not a factor whatsoever and doesn't affect his attractiveness factor.

[Balthazar]

Checking past LS threads, you will see that almost ALL female posters expressed a desire for tall men, regardless of their height.

 

In fact, the shorter the woman - the taller she wanted the man to be.

[Jake Barnes]

I don't understand what point the females are tying to make?

 

Some of us on the thread would not have a ltr with an older women. Some men said they would, but they married a younger woman. I did not hear any man say he would marry a much older women.

 

Every man I have ever known likes younger women. (I don't mean casual sex with milfs)

 

Sorry, thats life. If younger men are offering marriage, then go for it.

I've met many women a few years older Id love to date and have a ltr

 

I'm 34 and I can think of two or three women in their early forties off the top of my head and Im sure many men can

 

What I object to is inter-generational relationships, because I think they're unnatural, but maybe Im just old fashioned like that

[Cherry Blossom 35]

I've met many women a few years older Id love to date and have a ltr

 

I'm 34 and I can think of two or three women in their early forties off the top of my head and Im sure many men can

 

What I object to is inter-generational relationships, because I think they're unnatural, but maybe Im just old fashioned like that

 

 

I think the point is that we are not statistics, and we are not stereotypes. Most of us fall in live with the person, not a list. Sometimes we are surprised by who we fall for.

 

We all want different things, and there is not one person who can claim to speak for all men or all women.

[vonerik012]

LOL

 

Men typically are not the ones with "lists" They have far fewer requirements in a mate, than women do. That is the nature of men and women.

 

Now all of a sudden to try and prove a point, women are equally into short men? Yeah right.

 

I am all for dating a woman my own age, or younger..

 

Am I the only one that sees the hypocrisy? Some women do not like older men. Yet they expect younger men to like them and overlook their age.

 

You don't have to argue with me. I won't all of a sudden want to marry a woman 10 years older. If you can find a younger man to marry, or have a ltr with, then go for it. But stop telling men what they should like.

[vonerik012]

wrong thread

[Jake Barnes]

No, I noted the hypocrisy before. A lot of women come on here and dump on their husbands for being too old and soft and losing their virility and then justify cheating or leaving them and they get accolades and applause, but if a guy says he likes younger women or says he wont date overweight women they want to burn him at the stake.

 

I hope it's just that this is mainly a women's site, but I fear it may be a sign of everything we grew up with being turned on its head. There's no doubt that men were the more shallow sex when I was still a kid, but it could be that women are and that their empowerment has made men the objects

[Cherry Blossom 35]

Men have lists, too. Especially some of the older ones. I had a guy reject me because I was the "wrong" personality on the Myers-Briggs scale, and another who rejected me because I don't like seafood. Let's not even mention the ones who have rejected me because I went to a state school instead of one of the Ivies, or an expensive private school. Seriously. I know a lot of people here who are looking for pedigree, and a lot who are VERY specific in what they want for a woman.

[soserious1]

LOL

 

Men typically are not the ones with "lists" They have far fewer requirements in a mate, than women do. That is the nature of men and women.

 

Now all of a sudden to try and prove a point, women are equally into short men? Yeah right.

 

I am all for dating a woman my own age, or younger..

 

Am I the only one that sees the hypocrisy? Some women do not like older men. Yet they expect younger men to like them and overlook their age.

 

You don't have to argue with me. I won't all of a sudden want to marry a woman 10 years older. If you can find a younger man to marry, or have a ltr with, then go for it. But stop telling men what they should like.

 

 

I haven't been telling ANYBODY what they should like. What I have said is that I want to date people with similar lifestyles and interests and I'm giving back the exact things I'm asking for.

 

Stop trying to tell me what I should like !

[soserious1]

No, I noted the hypocrisy before. A lot of women come on here and dump on their husbands for being too old and soft and losing their virility and then justify cheating or leaving them and they get accolades and applause, but if a guy says he likes younger women or says he wont date overweight women they want to burn him at the stake.

 

I hope it's just that this is mainly a women's site, but I fear it may be a sign of everything we grew up with being turned on its head. There's no doubt that men were the more shallow sex when I was still a kid, but it could be that women are and that their empowerment has made men the objects

 

and a lot of men dump or cheat on middle aged wives too.

[Woggle]

No, I noted the hypocrisy before. A lot of women come on here and dump on their husbands for being too old and soft and losing their virility and then justify cheating or leaving them and they get accolades and applause, but if a guy says he likes younger women or says he wont date overweight women they want to burn him at the stake.

 

I hope it's just that this is mainly a women's site, but I fear it may be a sign of everything we grew up with being turned on its head. There's no doubt that men were the more shallow sex when I was still a kid, but it could be that women are and that their empowerment has made men the objects

 

This is very true. Men are not supposed to have standards or else we are intimidated by real women but women are told that anything less than an unattainable movie ideal is settling. I do think that it's more about attitude than age though and many older are manhating head cases who spent too many years chasing the wrong men and now want to punish all men because of their bad judgement. Who needs that crap.

[Cherry Blossom 35]

This is very true. Men are not supposed to have standards or else we are intimidated by real women but women are told that anything less than an unattainable movie ideal is settling. I do think that it's more about attitude than age though and many older are manhating head cases who spent too many years chasing the wrong men and now want to punish all men because of their bad judgement. Who needs that crap.

 

I don't know anyone in my age range who is looking for the "unattainable movie ideal". Perhaps when we were in our early to mid twenties, this was true. I think we are much more realistic about what makes a good partner and more open-minded about who we date. I haven't lowered my standards, either. My standards involve standards of character, above all. Yes, I need to be attracted to my mate, but I can be attracted to someone who doesn't look like George Clooney. Although I wouldn't turn him down if he showed up.

[stillafool]

Am I the only one that sees the hypocrisy? Some women do not like older men. Yet they expect younger men to like them and overlook their age.

 

 

The same thing can be said of men. Men do not like older women yet expect a younger woman to like them, overlook their age and not be concerned with how much money you bring home.

 

Oh, and about your saying men like young attractive women. Well, excuse me but women like young attractive men but we don't always go after them. We like to look at a young hard body and a young fresh face just as much as you men do. Unfortnately for men, most of the time when younger women want to be with them it is for financial security. At least with older women a younger man is most interested in the sex.

[soserious1]

I don't know anyone in my age range who is looking for the "unattainable movie ideal". Perhaps when we were in our early to mid twenties, this was true. I think we are much more realistic about what makes a good partner and more open-minded about who we date. I haven't lowered my standards, either. My standards involve standards of character, above all. Yes, I need to be attracted to my mate, but I can be attracted to someone who doesn't look like George Clooney. Although I wouldn't turn him down if he showed up.

 

The things I'm looking for in a partner

 

1.must not want babies,if he has a pre-existing family, his children must be grown, I will consider an otherwise great man if his kids are older teens,close to college age.

 

2.he must be employed, not drowning in debt

 

3.He must be reasonably healthy

 

4. must enjoy one or two of the following.. hiking,swimming,sailing, golf,bicycling, occasional horseback riding, bonus points for a skier

 

5.must like a couple of the following, jazz,blues, good wine, gourmet food either at home or dining out, an interest in travel, bonus points for a man who's interested in adult learning/taking courses for his own enrichment, I'm learning to speak spanish

 

6.must like pets... this is non-negotiable unfortunately

 

7. Have a sense of adventure..enjoy trying the new, be it learning to speak a new language or to try that little hole in the wall restaurant he's heard good things about.

 

The things I bring to the Table in return

 

1. can't have babies,don't want them either, my children are raised, there will be no expectation for a man to pay for or assume step-father duties here

 

2. my car is paid for,my credit cards are paid for in full each month, I'm fully employed at a job I love

 

3.I'm 5ft 9, wear a size 8 and take only 1 (optional) medication, I have no known medical issues.

 

4. I ski, hike,bike and own a couple of very nice bikes which I keep up myself

I'm preparing to ride in my first Century race next month.

 

5.I love to cook and to shop for awesome foods, I enjoy making mealtimes into awesome experiences, I love wine,music, parties large or small.

 

6. I am loyal to my 2 cats and will be equally as loyal and understanding of yours.

 

7. The world is an amazing place,so much to see,so much to do, I treasure each day!

[vonerik012]

The same thing can be said of men. Men do not like older women yet expect a younger woman to like them, overlook their age and not be concerned with how much money you bring home.

 

Oh, and about your saying men like young attractive women. Well, excuse me but women like young attractive men but we don't always go after them. We like to look at a young hard body and a young fresh face just as much as you men do. Unfortnately for men, most of the time when younger women want to be with them it is for financial security. At least with older women a younger man is most interested in the sex.

 

Stillafool, I completely agree with you. You are saying what I have been saying, just from a different angle.

 

Younger attractive women typically go after men that are older,(5-10 years) because they have more money. These older men like the younger, firmer, bodies, so it is like a "mutual using", if you want to put it that way. Both are meeting their natural needs. A 35 yr old man is not old and decrepit. They have plenty of time for a family, and the man has the money and maturity for it.

 

However, what needs are met with a younger man and an older woman? The younger man is not seeking "security", and most women do not want "just sex". In most cases, the older woman is not offering financial security to the male even if he is younger.