Resentful about so many years of crappy sex

[oldshirt]

more responses in bold below.

 

 

 

 

When something I enjoy starts becoming an obligation, I tend to start not wanting to do it anymore.

 

 

 

 

Very understandable. However I really think you are off the mark by viewing sexuality as an 'obligation.' It's a mutual gift between two people.

 

 

 

 

I love swimming but if someone told me I MUST swim every day I will start doing it as an obligation and ultimately dislike it.

 

 

 

 

Noone should have to tell you to have sex with your husband. That's something that people should just naturally want to do. If they don't, then there's a problem that needs to be addressed.

 

I don't want my man's "oil" to treat me good and care for me to be sex or BJs. I want it to be love. I don't want to have sex with him to keep him happy and make him treat me good or care for me. I want to have sex with him cause I want him.

 

 

 

 

I get your point, I really do. and I want all children to be loved and cared for and to be fed a healthy balanced diet and for there to be no hunger, war, abuse or neglect in the world also. .....but at the end of the day we all have to face reality and do what we can to make things as right as possible.

 

@Oldshirt I understand what you are saying and I realize the way I see it is indeed depressing cause I took the worst side of the story.

 

 

yeah you did.

 

 

 

 

But the truth is that the worst side of the story many times exists. So many women take advantage of men using sex as a tool, so saying to women "come on women, the only thing your man asks to be happy and treat you good and care for you is sex, just give it to him and everything will be fine" just makes these women stronger.

 

 

Not really. Men are simple and have few requirements but they're not dumb. A guy can tell when a woman is just putting out duty sex and a guy knows when a woman is actually into him vs just putting out to manipulate him. It may take some guys some time to make the break but like Getsmarter's example here, they usually do at some point.

And duty sex and starfish sex don't make women stronger. It actually weakens them and devalues them in men's eyes. Duty sex is actually a very disgusting and humiliating thing for men to endure. it usually doesn't last very long and in a matter of time, men are either giving up completely and just gritting their teeth and enduring their celibacy until the kids are gone (as in Getsmarter's case) or they take off with secretary at work.

 

 

 

Does love have anything to do with anything then or is it just sex for a man?

 

 

A man gives and receives love through his sexuality. Without sexuality it is just another woman, just another friend, just another roommate.

Romance/sexuality is what makes your special someone "special."

 

And please don't tell me that a man loves through sex

 

 

(sorry, but that's simply part of the design specifications of men.

.....and many women too if you read some of the posts from some of the other women that have chimed in on this )

 

 

cause there are thousands of couples who don't have sex till marriage and these men love the women fine

 

 

Not a valid example.

In those instances both people may have a raging desire for each and future romance/sexuality is assumed and greatly anticipated. They are just choosing to postpone that gift until after the wedding.

It's still the romance/sexual chemistry and desire that is separating that relationship from all the others, they just haven't performed the act yet. (that's why it's called consummating the marriage)

Check up on some of those men years down the road after the sexuality has ended and see how quickly things are breaking down.

 

 

QUOTE]

[oldshirt]

Yes, but are they actually just loving the potential and the promise of sex on tap?

 

 

 

Yes. It is still romance/sexuality that is what is making their relationship special above all other relationships, they are just deferring the final act until marriage by conscious choice.

 

 

As a man I have no issues with waiting for the act of intercourse when I know that a woman sincerely loves and desires me but is waiting until some kind of defined criteria is met before the act can take place. (ie within a committed relationship, marriage, other people are out of the house, housekeeping getting the motel room clean LOL)

 

 

But I have been talking about when a woman has no desire and no attraction for the man. that is a completely different story. If a woman has no innate desire for me, then she is no longer "special" and she simply becomes another person on the street.

 

 

Now to be fair, some men can tolerate having a woman in their house that doesn't desire then and isn't sexually responsive to them. But it's just a tolerance due to other factors such as she is a good mother to the children and he doesn't want to be single father, it will cost to much to divorce and split the assets etc etc

 

 

They may tolerate it and accept it, but they are not at all happy, satisfied or fulfilled. They are actually pretty miserable and frustrated and depressed with the whole situation.

[oldshirt]

To Lion Heart and DreamingofTigers and all the other ladies who are also in sexually barren relationships, I don't mean to diminish your pain either.

 

 

While the focus is often on how men are dehumanized and emasculated in sexless marriages, there comes a point where a woman too is dehumanized by lack of sexual desire towards her.

 

 

After all, I've spent several pages ranting that men only need a few drops of oil and of how central sexuality is to their lives. If they aren't showing a sexual interest or desire towards their wife, that means that something is way way way way way way wrong!!!!

 

 

A man that does not show sexual desire towards his wife is simply an aberrancy of nature. There is some major malfunction taking place somewhere. No ands or ifs or buts about it.

 

 

A wife not showing desire for her husband is bad and there will eventually be a break down. But a husband showing no desire for his wife is catastrophic and the break down has already occurred.

[oldshirt]

....now everyone please understand I am not talking about one person wanting it every day and another person being good with once a week. That is simply a difference in sexdrive.

 

 

I am talking about where one person really doesn't have any sexual interest at all and may only put out begrudgingly every so often just to shut the other person up and get them off their back.

 

 

....or so that they can tell the counselor that they do have sex, it's just that they other person wants it too much and that they are a pervert that can't be satisfied.

[DKT3]

When something I enjoy starts becoming an obligation, I tend to start not wanting to do it anymore. I love swimming but if someone told me I MUST swim every day I will start doing it as an obligation and ultimately dislike it.

 

I don't want my man's "oil" to treat me good and care for me to be sex or BJs. I want it to be love. I don't want to have sex with him to keep him happy and make him treat me good or care for me. I want to have sex with him cause I want him.

 

@Oldshirt I understand what you are saying and I realize the way I see it is indeed depressing cause I took the worst side of the story. But the truth is that the worst side of the story many times exists. So many women take advantage of men using sex as a tool, so saying to women "come on women, the only thing your man asks to be happy and treat you good and care for you is sex, just give it to him and everything will be fine" just makes these women stronger.

 

Does love have anything to do with anything then or is it just sex for a man?

 

And please don't tell me that a man loves through sex cause there are thousands of couples who don't have sex till marriage and these men love the women fine.

 

We are wired different from women. In general women need emotional support, and to feel that her man is in tune with her needs be it cleaning the toliet or the dishes, helping with the kids. Men in gerenal, need sex. I found it unsettling that so many women don't get that, and feel that what they want and need from a relationship should be what their partner wants or needs.

 

What he needs isn't up to you to decide. You know what you need and so does he. How would you feel if he TOLD you what you should need and what you don't.

[autumnnight]

When something I enjoy starts becoming an obligation, I tend to start not wanting to do it anymore. I love swimming but if someone told me I MUST swim every day I will start doing it as an obligation and ultimately dislike it.

 

I don't want my man's "oil" to treat me good and care for me to be sex or BJs. I want it to be love. I don't want to have sex with him to keep him happy and make him treat me good or care for me. I want to have sex with him cause I want him.

 

@Oldshirt I understand what you are saying and I realize the way I see it is indeed depressing cause I took the worst side of the story. But the truth is that the worst side of the story many times exists. So many women take advantage of men using sex as a tool, so saying to women "come on women, the only thing your man asks to be happy and treat you good and care for you is sex, just give it to him and everything will be fine" just makes these women stronger.

 

Does love have anything to do with anything then or is it just sex for a man?

 

And please don't tell me that a man loves through sex cause there are thousands of couples who don't have sex till marriage and these men love the women fine.

 

And again I say, if you are a woman who believes it is fine to withhold sex from your husband, then I can understand why this thread makes you uncomfortable.

[elaine567]

A man that does not show sexual desire towards his wife is simply an aberrancy of nature. There is some major malfunction taking place somewhere. No ands or ifs or buts about it.

A wife not showing desire for her husband is bad and there will eventually be a break down. But a husband showing no desire for his wife is catastrophic and the break down has already occurred.

 

Witholding sex can be a form of emotional abuse, psychopaths, narcissists and other emotional abusers can use withholding sex as a means of control and a means of demeaning their victim.

 

Narcissists are misogynists. They hold women in contempt, they loathe and fear them. They seek to torment and frustrate them (either debasing them sexually - or by withholding sex from them). They harbor ambiguous feelings towards the sexual act. Narcissists, Sex and Fidelity - The Somatic Narcissist, The Asexual Cerebral Narcissist, Extramarital Affairs, and Paraphilias

[oldshirt]

Men in gerenal, need sex. I found it unsettling that so many women don't get that, and feel that what they want and need from a relationship should be what their partner wants or needs.

 

What he needs isn't up to you to decide. You know what you need and so does he. How would you feel if he TOLD you what you should need and what you don't.

 

 

 

And this is another example of what "The Five Love Languages" is about.

 

 

People tend to think that what they need in a relationship is what the other person needs and that is often not the case.

 

 

The golden rule is "treat others as you would want them to treat you." But the Platinum Rule of marriage is, "treat them as they want to be treated."

 

 

This was where our MC had to really earn his pay when we were in counseling because he had to get each of us to speak the other's Love Language.

 

 

My wife's Love Language was very much 'acts of service' and she would run herself into the ground doing things for me and the family and she felt that I wasn't appreciate of all that she did and she was resentful and felt disrespected that I wasn't doing a million things a day for her and the family as well.

 

 

I didn't ask her to do those things and certainly didn't think she needed to do all that to keep me happy so it wasn't really on my radar.

 

 

My love language is very much sexuality (in case you hadn't noticed LOL) which the book refers to as 'Touch" and I also scored high in "Words of Affirmation" so while she was doing a million tasks a day for me and the family thinking she was showing her love, I was actually feeling neglected because she wasn't talking to me and wasn't getting it on physically with me.

 

 

And I on the other hand thought I was being an awesome husband because I was telling her how much I loved her and appreciated her and was giving her back rubs and footrubs and cuddling her etc every day.

 

 

(and just FYI, she hates cuddling. If we ever do split up and I go back on the market looking for another mate, noncuddlers need not apply LOL)

 

 

We were both working hard to please the other, but we were both very frustrated and both on the brink of divorce.

 

 

We each had to learn to see what the other was doing for us and we both had to learn to speak the other's language.

[autumnnight]

What he needs isn't up to you to decide. You know what you need and so does he. How would you feel if he TOLD you what you should need and what you don't.

 

And THIS is the crux of many people's problem. And yes, I think women are more guilty of this than men.

[DKT3]

And this is another example of what "The Five Love Languages" is about.

 

 

People tend to think that what they need in a relationship is what the other person needs and that is often not the case.

 

 

The golden rule is "treat others as you would want them to treat you." But the Platinum Rule of marriage is, "treat them as they want to be treated."

 

 

This was where our MC had to really earn his pay when we were in counseling because he had to get each of us to speak the other's Love Language.

 

 

My wife's Love Language was very much 'acts of service' and she would run herself into the ground doing things for me and the family and she felt that I wasn't appreciate of all that she did and she was resentful and felt disrespected that I wasn't doing a million things a day for her and the family as well.

 

 

I didn't ask her to do those things and certainly didn't think she needed to do all that to keep me happy so it wasn't really on my radar.

 

 

My love language is very much sexuality (in case you hadn't noticed LOL) which the book refers to as 'Touch" and I also scored high in "Words of Affirmation" so while she was doing a million tasks a day for me and the family thinking she was showing her love, I was actually feeling neglected because she wasn't talking to me and wasn't getting it on physically with me.

 

 

And I on the other hand thought I was being an awesome husband because I was telling her how much I loved her and appreciated her and was giving her back rubs and footrubs and cuddling her etc every day.

 

 

(and just FYI, she hates cuddling. If we ever do split up and I go back on the market looking for another mate, noncuddlers need not apply LOL)

 

 

We were both working hard to please the other, but we were both very frustrated and both on the brink of divorce.

 

 

We each had to learn to see what the other was doing for us and we both had to learn to speak the other's language.

 

Well before that book, a wise woman (grandmother) told me "the best way to treat a woman is the way she treats you. A woman will do the things for you she wants you to do for her" sadly the message never landed on my brain until I was divorced.

 

Example: for years lovin would always get my shower ready for me, freah towels, new razors, she would even put underwear in the bath room. It was something I never asked for nor really wanted. One day after we had started dating again, she was over and I ran her a bubble bath, I mean candles wine the whole nine yards. When she saw it she started crying, grab me and held on tight. 18 years of clues and I didn't get any of them.

[toolforgrowth]

I think OP knows what he needs to do and is simply counting down the days until he can set himself free. I'd 180 hardcore on his wife if I were him, start getting my ducks in a row, speak with an attorney to get my exit plan in order, and then execute when the time is right.

 

Whatever you do, do not buy the summer home.

[dichotomy]

Loving sex is a willingness to please and not always about self pleasure. Sure a man likes sex himself , the pleasure he feels when a woman is performing on him (do we ever), but with the good men - the decent men - not only do they like their own pleasure, but they really do want to get their wives off. The good guys do want to be "da man" for their wives in sex or what ever they need.

 

If I were hit by a car, and lost functioning below the waist, it would be unbelievably devastating to me to not experience my own sexual pleasure, but if my wife wanted it - and enjoyed it - I would be happy to use my hands, mouth, toys or what ever to get her off. I would be my pleasure - actually my need as husband and man - to continue to be able to get my wife off - even if I could not myself get off.

 

Marriage should be about understanding what pleases your spouse, and trying to be their for that as much as your own needs.

 

Also I might add, that 90% of the pain on this issue posted here (and that goes for men or women) - is a sudden decline in sexual interest from a spouse - often with no contributing factor. The worst stories (and there was a wife here that shared some painful stories) are ones where they keep trying desperately to be "better" spouse's, do more, change and try everything to get their spouse back to loving them sexually. Nothing works. Its painful.

Edited March 26, 2015 by dichotomy

[GetSmarter]

Well before that book, a wise woman (grandmother) told me "the best way to treat a woman is the way she treats you. A woman will do the things for you she wants you to do for her" sadly the message never landed on my brain until I was divorced.

 

Example: for years lovin would always get my shower ready for me, freah towels, new razors, she would even put underwear in the bath room. It was something I never asked for nor really wanted. One day after we had started dating again, she was over and I ran her a bubble bath, I mean candles wine the whole nine yards. When she saw it she started crying, grab me and held on tight. 18 years of clues and I didn't get any of them.

 

This is interesting. I have 2 observations:

 

1) Your wife was going out of her way to do things for you which is itself an indication that she cared. She was doing things that she thought you would appreciate because she loves you. My wife used to do those things, but honestly it's been so long now that I can't remember her going out of her way to do something for me. Yeah, she'll sometimes remember to pick up something I like from the market when she goes, but it's not like she would ever make a special trip to a certain store to get me something.

 

2) You can't be expected to be a mind-reader. During those 18 years, she could have and should have said something to indicate that she would like for you to draw a bath for her every so often. You don't sound like a guy who would have ignored her suggestions. I have asked for and gotten no meaningful feedback from my wife on this. My guess is that she's actually not unhappy. In fact, she'd be happier if my sex drive would disappear and I bought that beach house.

[DKT3]

This is interesting. I have 2 observations:

 

1) Your wife was going out of her way to do things for you which is itself an indication that she cared. She was doing things that she thought you would appreciate because she loves you. My wife used to do those things, but honestly it's been so long now that I can't remember her going out of her way to do something for me. Yeah, she'll sometimes remember to pick up something I like from the market when she goes, but it's not like she would ever make a special trip to a certain store to get me something.

 

2) You can't be expected to be a mind-reader. During those 18 years, she could have and should have said something to indicate that she would like for you to draw a bath for her every so often. You don't sound like a guy who would have ignored her suggestions. I have asked for and gotten no meaningful feedback from my wife on this. My guess is that she's actually not unhappy. In fact, she'd be happier if my sex drive would disappear and I bought that beach house.

 

My comments were geared towards the lady who seems to think its her who decides what the husband needs in the marriage. Your wife has made the unilateral decision that sex isn't important, so I see no fault in what your doing, well, except for waiting for the youngest to go off. I really don't think it will make a difference if you do it now or in the fall or the fall of next year (did catch how old he is). It just means more days/months of sexless marriage. Everyone will still hurt the same.

[GetSmarter]

My comments were geared towards the lady who seems to think its her who decides what the husband needs in the marriage. Your wife has made the unilateral decision that sex isn't important, so I see no fault in what your doing, well, except for waiting for the youngest to go off. I really don't think it will make a difference if you do it now or in the fall or the fall of next year (did catch how old he is). It just means more days/months of sexless marriage. Everyone will still hurt the same.

You're right. But being that it's his last year at home, I'd like to spend as much time with him as I can. He and I are pretty close. Edited March 26, 2015 by GetSmarter

[SummerDreams]

I just find it very shallow that the only thing that makes a man happy is sex. I don't want to accept it. I do so many things for my boyfriend, I care for him, I love him, I respect him, I of course want him, and the thought that everything I do for him means nothing if there is a week or a month lets say that I don't feel like having sex just drives me crazy. There are so many things that happen to women and kill their mood for sex. Should we be punished for that? Should we feel guilty "I've been sick for these two weeks, my man should be unhappy" or "my dog is sick and I am not in the mood for sex for this whole month, will my man cheat on me?" and so on?

 

And again, I so very much agree there are women who just deny sex from their husbands or do it very rarely cause they just don't want sex or they don't find him attractive and they just want a provider.

[redtail]

I just find it very shallow that the only thing that makes a man happy is sex.

You're taking this way too personally, try to look at it more objectively.

 

First, sex is not the "only" thing that makes a man happy. It's just without sex, his happiness may very well be in jeopardy.

 

Second, you prioritize sex differently than most men, so your view that it is "shallow" is a reflection on your attitude rather than describing the men and women who enjoy regular, healthy sex. It is not shallow, it is a need and a desire for intimacy that only can be shared between lovers.

[GetSmarter]

I just find it very shallow that the only thing that makes a man happy is sex. I don't want to accept it. I do so many things for my boyfriend, I care for him, I love him, I respect him, I of course want him, and the thought that everything I do for him means nothing if there is a week or a month lets say that I don't feel like having sex just drives me crazy. There are so many things that happen to women and kill their mood for sex. Should we be punished for that? Should we feel guilty "I've been sick for these two weeks, my man should be unhappy" or "my dog is sick and I am not in the mood for sex for this whole month, will my man cheat on me?" and so on?

 

And again, I so very much agree there are women who just deny sex from their husbands or do it very rarely cause they just don't want sex or they don't find him attractive and they just want a provider.

A week or a month? That would obviously be no problem. You seem to have extrapolated something that was never said. Being sick or under the weather for a short period before picking up where you left off is nooo problem. Do this for a few years and yes, all the other things won't carry the relationship.

[Scrivdog]

There you have it, ladies. First hand. From the horse's mouth once again, in simple, easy to understand language than even the most clueless can comprehend. The man could not have laid it out any clearer for you: he got lousy, cold fish sex long enough for him to pack his mental bags years ago and soon he'll walk out that door for good. The issue wasn't nagging, nor being messy, nor getting fat. It was the lack of sex - yeah that issue he kept telling his wife was important to him. This thread and all others scream the same message, thread after thread: It doesn't matter what a wonderful snowflake you think you are - if there's no sex he's gone!

 

This board is a treasure trove of sad threads from men who get almost no sex from their wives and in turn get an OW or leave - the shaming and the blaming some of these women post here nonwithstanding.

 

And yet I stand here amazed that there are still women here who still defend the idea that it's the man's fault and/or that sex shouldn't really that important. If this doesn't get you to think again, I have no sympathy for you. We'll see you on the Infidelity forum as you wail because your hubby is now banging his female co-worker.

[dichotomy]

 

I don't feel like having sex .

 

 

hooo boy... trigger.

 

The number of things husbands do that we don't "feel like" doing for our wives.... but we do because we know they see love or experience happiness in those things we do.

Edited March 26, 2015 by dichotomy

[autumnnight]

I just find it very shallow that the only thing that makes a man happy is sex. I don't want to accept it. I do so many things for my boyfriend, I care for him, I love him, I respect him, I of course want him, and the thought that everything I do for him means nothing if there is a week or a month lets say that I don't feel like having sex just drives me crazy. There are so many things that happen to women and kill their mood for sex. Should we be punished for that? Should we feel guilty "I've been sick for these two weeks, my man should be unhappy" or "my dog is sick and I am not in the mood for sex for this whole month, will my man cheat on me?" and so on?

 

And again, I so very much agree there are women who just deny sex from their husbands or do it very rarely cause they just don't want sex or they don't find him attractive and they just want a provider.

 

Yes, a woman who resents her man's legitimate need for sex and who withholds sex would find those things very uncomfortable.

[bathtub-row]

There you have it, ladies. First hand. From the horse's mouth once again, in simple, easy to understand language than even the most clueless can comprehend. The man could not have laid it out any clearer for you: he got lousy, cold fish sex long enough for him to pack his mental bags years ago and soon he'll walk out that door for good. The issue wasn't nagging, nor being messy, nor getting fat. It was the lack of sex - yeah that issue he kept telling his wife was important to him. This thread and all others scream the same message, thread after thread: It doesn't matter what a wonderful snowflake you think you are - if there's no sex he's gone!

 

This board is a treasure trove of sad threads from men who get almost no sex from their wives and in turn get an OW or leave - the shaming and the blaming some of these women post here nonwithstanding.

 

And yet I stand here amazed that there are still women here who still defend the idea that it's the man's fault and/or that sex shouldn't really that important. If this doesn't get you to think again, I have no sympathy for you. We'll see you on the Infidelity forum as you wail because your hubby is now banging his female co-worker.

 

Agreed -- 100%. And to add to that, I honestly don't understand not wanting to have sex with a partner you love. I hear this all the time, too. "I love my husband, I'd do anything for him, but I hate sex." I can't imagine not wanting to have sex with the man you love. I also don't understand people who marry when they know they don't like sex. How do they decide that's going to go well? Clueless, clueless, clueless.

[bathtub-row]

hooo boy... trigger.

 

The number of things husbands do that we don't "feel like" doing for our wives.... but we do because we know they see love or experience happiness in those things we do.

 

When I was married, it was rare that I didn't feel like having sex but even when I didnt, I found that once we started touching, it all changed and I was suddenly in the mood. My only thing is that I don't like morning sex but my husband didn't mind that either because he didn't have to worry about making me climax. Even when I wasn't in the mood, I simply enjoyed the physical, intimate contact. I thought it was great.

[Seachan]

Gosh guys (esp) I found the posts by oldshirt et al so true when I replaced the "women" you mentioned with my WH name and the "men" with mine! OMG I MUST be a man! WH MUST be a woman.

(Except for the only part I entirely agree with which is that women can walk out the door and probably easily get sex more easily).Everything else in this marraige is a complete role reversal.

 

HE was the one witholding good sex with meonly to want porn star sex with OW. I would have loved that.

 

I was the stable provider. Provided properties which his "wants" quickly usurped.

 

I earnt up to 30x more than him. Yet after years of crappy sex and a VERY good income and lifestyle provided by me, HE has an A the first opportunity! I was hit on far too much over the years, and always stayed faithful. Even tho it was VERY apparent to ME that I'd have a much nicer life personally if I'd left and ran off with OM (this is sinking in now because I never gave THAT a second thought before).

 

He** I even mowed the lawns for YEARS until H criticized my efforts at a birthday party I THREW for HIM. I'd spent 6h doing those lawns with twin 1yo plus a DD.

 

I do 99% of all food & clothes shopping for all of us. WH cooked at times but only after I'd bought and prepped everything. I cleaned, washed, did his taxes for his business. Organised every activity for 4 kids. Paid school fees etc. He opted out of this.

 

I could go on but I dare not! I wanted to have sex tonight with WH but he just said he's "not sure about that"! I'm recognising WH more and more as I read the guys posts about WOMEN! ARRRRR.

 

I'm SO FRUSTRATED! Esp when I read the thread about what a typical WW "looks like" it was MY WH!

 

AND over our entire marriage, so many men AND women have said how happy my husband would be married to a me!

 

And no, I'm NOT overweight. I can wear tight pants but dare not when I go out with WH in case his jealousy sours NOT because OM want me (he knows I'd NEVER cheat - his words) but because HE doesn't get the same attention.

 

I NEED TO READ "No more Mr Nice Guy" and substitute men for women etc.

 

There was another thing I wanted to post but my head is spinning after all this sinking in.

 

GetSmarter you did. I need to too.

 

Lion Heart.

 

Sounds like you have created an Over-Benefitted spouse.

[dreamingoftigers]

Without wanting to offend you or doubt you and your needs, but are you sure about what you just said?

 

There are so many kinds of men out there, we can't even imagine. There are men who are violent, indifferent, who don't take care of their wife, they don't care for her needs, they don't care to help her with anything, they don't want to have proper conversations, they demand things from her and so on and on. Are you saying you would give up the perfect man only to get laid? Have you maybe made a huge deal of sex and you have become addicted by the idea of the lack of it? We humans tend to miss what someone takes from us, even if we didn't care for it that much before. I'd say 300% that I'd never give up the perfect man who treats me good, cares for my needs, is patient with me, supports me and above all is a good father only to have the certainty of frequent sex. And maybe this confirms what some other posters were saying here earlier, that a woman can pass on sex if she has her other needs met. What I want to say is, when we women have found a good man, lets not take his good behavior for granted cause there are so many women out there who suffer cause of their man's bad behavior. And most of the time, sex is great. But is this enough? Can this make up for the bad behavior?

 

What in the?

 

Really?

 

Yes, I would give up the "perfect" man to be with a man who wants to sleep with me.

 

I don't really give a crap about housework, career work etc etc. As long as my partner actually wants to be with me and sleep with me.

 

What kind of "perfect" man would this so-called guy be if he did all the stupid chores and washed the car and gave me back rubs if he didn't want to eff me at all?

 

I can hire a maid, I can go to lunch with friends, but only my SO would be the one screwing me. And if he won't I can't just say, "oh well, I'll hire Julio the Poolboy to take care of that part, you have fun on your hunting trip."

 

I mean, I could do that but it completely defeats the purpose of being in a relationship.