Four months of OLD-summary

[MidwestUSA]

Oh, that was a smooth move, putting his number in your phone. I gotta give him points for that!

[Emilia]

and at the end he "showed me" how to put music on my phone, and while doing that entered his phone number in my phone and called himself "if I don't mind". Smooth Sent me "good to see you" when I got home. We'll see if he follows up

Sorry but that's really creepy. It's one thing about putting his number in your phone but calling his phone to have yours without your permission first?

[MidwestUSA]

Sorry but that's really creepy. It's one thing about putting his number in your phone but calling his phone to have yours without your permission first?

True, but you can fall back on those things called "delete" and "block", if necessary. I guess I'm just a little more laid back about that kind of stuff; I figure if someone wants to find me, they will, way too many ways out there nowadays to track someone.

[Emilia]

True, but you can fall back on those things called "delete" and "block", if necessary. I guess I'm just a little more laid back about that kind of stuff; I figure if someone wants to find me, they will, way too many ways out there nowadays to track someone.

That's not the point. A man who is this assuming is a complete turn off. He is either too smooth or has retarded social skills.

[MidwestUSA]

That's not the point. A man who is this assuming is a complete turn off. He is either too smooth or has retarded social skills.

If the latter, perhaps he can be reformed? Regardless, he piqued her interest, so hoping we'll get a good story out of it.

[Emilia]

If the latter, perhaps he can be reformed? Regardless, he piqued her interest, so hoping we'll get a good story out of it.

Sure and I'm hoping it will work out well and will just have to see. Maybe they had such a laugh that he didn't feel he crossed any boundaries. He is a stranger however and I hope BlueEye won't get too familiar too quickly.

[MidwestUSA]

It's funny, but I found while dating at an "older" age, people pick up all sorts of odd social habits?, not the exact word I'm looking for, but you follow me. Perhaps they've been on other dates where these things worked? I don't know. I went on one date with a guy who kept repeating "I'm looking to go on my last first date" all night. I should have left when he came thru the door of the restaurant with a toothpick in his mouth (little did he know how big of a turnoff that was, I mean didn't your mother teach you anything?) but I proceeded to have one too many cocktails while he just kept repeating that line, over and over. Oh, the stories I have, LOL! Blu is just going to work on collecting material for her own book, starting with the pole dude.

[Cutiepie1976]

Pole dude? I missed that!

 

Just catching up on your thread. It really took off. It was about three pages last time I came through.

 

Glad you're enjoying the OLD thing more. You'll learn a lot about yourself and what you want to through this. Maybe even meet someone wonderful. It's one of the best ways to come in contact with people you otherwise would never meet. Despite all the negative stories on here, a lot of people do meet their husbands, boyfriends, etc. online. Just keep plugging away. Have fun with it this summer.

 

How are your meet up groups?

[BluEyeL]

Pole dude? I missed that!

 

Just catching up on your thread. It really took off. It was about three pages last time I came through.

 

Glad you're enjoying the OLD thing more. You'll learn a lot about yourself and what you want to through this. Maybe even meet someone wonderful. It's one of the best ways to come in contact with people you otherwise would never meet. Despite all the negative stories on here, a lot of people do meet their husbands, boyfriends, etc. online. Just keep plugging away. Have fun with it this summer.

 

How are your meet up groups?

 

You have to keep up to date with the pole dude

 

It's not that I enjoy OLD more, is that I enjoy being single more and I don't worry about it anymore, and not overdoing it so much. The demographics around here are still pretty depressing, I just don't let things depress me anymore. You asked about the meetup (my group, or meetup in gral?). The demographics at the meetup last night were bad. I don't like it when I'm the most successful in the room, I mean, really? I guess highly successful men are not single, and it's Indiana after all, if successful you don't choose to live here

 

Emilia, the guy last night didn't feel creepy to me, now that you point out, maybe it wasn't great what he did, but I didn't feel that way. He did say if it's ok and said I can delete him if I want. But not fretting, he might not even call anyway.

 

Overall, I feel good, very "Sex and the City":laugh: (in my case, "sex and the country" LOL)

[Cutiepie1976]

You have to keep up to date with the pole dude

 

It's not that I enjoy OLD more, is that I enjoy being single more and I don't worry about it anymore, and not overdoing it so much. The demographics around here are still pretty depressing, I just don't let things depress me anymore. You asked about the meetup (my group, or meetup in gral?). The demographics at the meetup last night were bad. I don't like it when I'm the most successful in the room, I mean, really? I guess highly successful men are not single, and it's Indiana after all, if successful you don't choose to live here

 

Emilia, the guy last night didn't feel creepy to me, now that you point out, maybe it wasn't great what he did, but I didn't feel that way. He did say if it's ok and said I can delete him if I want. But not fretting, he might not even call anyway.

 

Overall, I feel good, very "Sex and the City":laugh: (in my case, "sex and the country" LOL)

 

I went back through every page...still couldn't find pole guy!

 

Yes, being single is fun!

 

Definitely more challenging in the cornfields in some ways...but actually better in other ways, if that helps. Glad you have a sense of humor about it all.

 

Meetup groups can be a mixed bag. Just try others until you're in one where you aren't an oddity for being successful professionally. Also, you're in a university setting. It's reunion season. Any alumni events to crash? Also coming up on the end of fundraising season at most schools...donor events??? Be creative about places to consider.

 

How about your meetup group that you started? How is that going?

[BluEyeL]

I went back through every page...still couldn't find pole guy!

 

Yes, being single is fun!

 

Definitely more challenging in the cornfields in some ways...but actually better in other ways, if that helps. Glad you have a sense of humor about it all.

 

Meetup groups can be a mixed bag. Just try others until you're in one where you aren't an oddity for being successful professionally. Also, you're in a university setting. It's reunion season. Any alumni events to crash? Also coming up on the end of fundraising season at most schools...donor events??? Be creative about places to consider.

 

How about your meetup group that you started? How is that going?

 

Pole dude, I opened other threads and talked about him there. In short, after the date with this guy, he said bye-bye, turned around and walked straight into a pole! I didn't accept a second date with him (not because of the pole, bc he was mean spirited and badmouthed everyone and everything) and in response he asked me to send him half of the dinner price (although at dinner I seriously offered to split and he said "no no no, I'm old fashioned blah blah blah"). I sent him 23$ (although I only ordered for 15$, his dinner was more expensive than mine), someone suggested he could go pole dancing with the money

 

The meetup that I started has a total of 3 members,4 with me LOL I'll meet two of them on Friday, the third one is moving in town mid June.

 

I didn't think of hitting on people at work events huh. Maybe is not a bad idea, I should participate more in those maybe.

[BluEyeL]

Nothing wrong with dating up. But over weight single poor mom? Come on dating a woman is kids is hard enough. How can she date you and leave the kids if she can't afford a baby sitter?

 

I'm over weight, short, I shave my head because it bugs people. Yes I still get attract women even half my age. But online I wouldn't even have a chance.

Half your age?? You must be really old:laugh: Just kidding.

 

In this case (more success), you should stick to real life instead of online.

[therhythm]

BluEyel, I have not read the whole thread (actually I have only read the OP post:o) but I don't know why would you focus on OLD, you seem a very outgoing and sweet woman, I am sure around you there are plenty of men who would feel the winner of the day by going on a date with you!

 

Expand your social network, look for hobbies where you can meet new people and good luck finding "the one" I am sure you will find him!

[irc333]

Online dating, as of late, seems to have made people's expectations go sky high. For the heck of it, I decided to contact this chubby woman, she was enough for me to contact, because she had a cute smile....and had the same geeky interests....she turned me down, surprisingly. LOL

 

It seems to encourage those who don't have much to offer to expect the unrealistic in a mate.

[BluEyeL]

BluEyel, I have not read the whole thread (actually I have only read the OP post:o) but I don't know why would you focus on OLD, you seem a very outgoing and sweet woman, I am sure around you there are plenty of men who would feel the winner of the day by going on a date with you!

 

Expand your social network, look for hobbies where you can meet new people and good luck finding "the one" I am sure you will find him!

 

Thanks for saying that. I'm not in a rush anymore, I can wait and if it never happens, meh, it means the Universe just gives me what I need, not what I might want . I feel pretty great! I'm switching to real life more now, yes, you are right.

[BluEyeL]

Online dating, as of late, seems to have made people's expectations go sky high. For the heck of it, I decided to contact this chubby woman, she was enough for me to contact, because she had a cute smile....and had the same geeky interests....she turned me down, surprisingly. LOL

 

It seems to encourage those who don't have much to offer to expect the unrealistic in a mate.

 

Sorry about that. I guess it is hard, but attraction is weird. She rejected you, it means she wasn't meant to be, move to someone who deserves your attention. I like what Treasa said on a thread a few weeks ago. Think like this: if someone rejects you, they're stupid. How wants to be with a stupid person anyway? :laugh: That's how I think when I'm rejected, stole her idea.

[Phantom888]

My last relationship was from Match, and it lasted a year even though she was clearly unsuitable for me. I was feeling low, and was kinda desperate. During my last round of casual sexcapade, I met a couple of ladies from Match also, and those ended quick.

 

I restarted Match again in February 2013, and I just closed my account yesterday. The reason is that last week I met a woman on Match who is so unusually beautiful and compatible with me, I decided that if this doesn't work out, I'm just gonna stay single. I even told her I deleted my account. After that amazing 1st date, I really don't want to meet any other women, because the bar is set so high now I don't think I can ever match another.

[BluEyeL]

My last relationship was from Match, and it lasted a year even though she was clearly unsuitable for me. I was feeling low, and was kinda desperate. During my last round of casual sexcapade, I met a couple of ladies from Match also, and those ended quick.

 

I restarted Match again in February 2013, and I just closed my account yesterday. The reason is that last week I met a woman on Match who is so unusually beautiful and compatible with me, I decided that if this doesn't work out, I'm just gonna stay single. I even told her I deleted my account. After that amazing 1st date, I really don't want to meet any other women, because the bar is set so high now I don't think I can ever match another.

Happy for you, good luck with the relationship!!

[Phantom888]

Sorry about that. I guess it is hard, but attraction is weird. She rejected you, it means she wasn't meant to be, move to someone who deserves your attention. I like what Treasa said on a thread a few weeks ago. Think like this: if someone rejects you, they're stupid. How wants to be with a stupid person anyway? :laugh: That's how I think when I'm rejected, stole her idea.

 

I'm really not superficial, though I do desire a beautiful face to wake up next to every morning. I have been rejected by many on Match, mainly because I have kids. A lot of young women want a guy with no kids, so they can start from scratch. The lady I have fallen for actually initiated contact with a "wink". She has a child same age as my daughter. We are so compatible, I am really amazed. To me she is the most beautiful woman I have ever met...... I am completely smitten.

[Cutiepie1976]

Smitten feels good! Hope things work out for you.

[Cutiepie1976]

Pole dude, I opened other threads and talked about him there. In short, after the date with this guy, he said bye-bye, turned around and walked straight into a pole!

Oh, boo! I was hoping for something titillating, like a guy who turned out to be a male exotic dancer on the side. I wasn't expecting Kramer from Seinfeld who bumps into everything. You made me rifle through twelve pages of posts looking for nonexistent juiciness! For shame.

 

I didn't accept a second date with him (not because of the pole, bc he was mean spirited and badmouthed everyone and everything)

Yuck! Meanspirited people who are negative about everyone (and often everything) are such a turnoff!

 

...he asked me to send him half of the dinner price (although at dinner I seriously offered to split and he said "no no no, I'm old fashioned blah blah blah"). I sent him 23$ (although I only ordered for 15$, his dinner was more expensive than mine), someone suggested he could go pole dancing with the money

I can't believe he asked you to mail him reimbursement! That is just petty and crass! And over $20? He should be embarrassed...but I'm sure he's not!

 

Not quite as bad, but close...I think it was the third, maybe fourth first date...I forget, but I was brand new to OLD. Anyway, we got to the end of the date, and he asks for another date. I gave my spiel about how I had a wonderful time and he seems like such a great guy, but I didn't see us as a fit. (Good conversationalist, but he came across as a nitpicker and a wet blanket. Not my type.) His response when I declined: so you're paying for half this date. Totally offputting! I always insist on splitting the bill if I have no intention of going on another date. There was no need for the demand. Plus my portion was literally 10% of his. Just reinforced my gut impression about him. Never had that happen with anyone else. Most guys insist on paying even if you're clear you won't be seeing them again. In those cases, our waitperson was a very happy camper because the tip was whatever he gave plus a cash bonus equal to half the bill from me.

 

The meetup that I started has a total of 3 members,4 with me LOL I'll meet two of them on Friday, the third one is moving in town mid June.

It will grow as you holds events and gain visibility. Can you cosponsor events with another group? Take pictures of your events. It will help to draw curious passersby in.

 

I didn't think of hitting on people at work events huh. Maybe is not a bad idea, I should participate more in those maybe.

Alumni are good. I would avoid dating professors in your own department. Otherwise everyone else can be an option. You just have to watch for wedding bands as you chat.

[Cutiepie1976]

Online dating, as of late, seems to have made people's expectations go sky high. For the heck of it, I decided to contact this chubby woman, she was enough for me to contact, because she had a cute smile....and had the same geeky interests....she turned me down, surprisingly. LOL

 

It seems to encourage those who don't have much to offer to expect the unrealistic in a mate.

 

Her definition of compatibility is likely different than yours. Assuming that shared geeky interests and a certain level of physical looks equates to compatibility or is what she is looking for? That may be leading you astray. Just message the people who interest you, and focus on those who respond positively to your overtures.

Edited May 30, 2013 by Cutiepie1976

[BluEyeL]

Oh, boo! I was hoping for something titillating, like a guy who turned out to be a male exotic dancer on the side. I wasn't expecting Kramer from Seinfeld who bumps into everything. You made me rifle through twelve pages of posts looking for nonexistent juiciness! For shame.

 

 

Yuck! Meanspirited people who are negative about everyone (and often everything) are such a turnoff!

 

 

I can't believe he asked you to mail him reimbursement! That is just petty and crass! And over $20? He should be embarrassed...but I'm sure he's not!

 

Not quite as bad, but close...I think it was the third, maybe fourth first date...I forget, but I was brand new to OLD. Anyway, we got to the end of the date, and he asks for another date. I gave my spiel about how I had a wonderful time and he seems like such a great guy, but I didn't see us as a fit. (Good conversationalist, but he came across as a nitpicker and a wet blanket. Not my type.) His response when I declined: so you're paying for half this date. Totally offputting! I always insist on splitting the bill if I have no intention of going on another date. There was no need for the demand. Plus my portion was literally 10% of his. Just reinforced my gut impression about him. Never had that happen with anyone else. Most guys insist on paying even if you're clear you won't be seeing them again. In those cases, our waitperson was a very happy camper because the tip was whatever he gave plus a cash bonus equal to half the bill from me.

 

 

It will grow as you holds events and gain visibility. Can you cosponsor events with another group? Take pictures of your events. It will help to draw curious passersby in.

 

 

Alumni are good. I would avoid dating professors in your own department. Otherwise everyone else can be an option. You just have to watch for wedding bands as you chat.

 

Cutiepie, our gut feeling is usually right, I'm saying this regarding your rather similar story with the check splitting guy. Btw, I learned a ton from you, thank you!

 

I cannot date anyone in my dept anyway EVERYONE is married. At the university VERY few professors in my age range are single. Of course, I don't know everyone, but anyway... No 1 was one of the very few, but oh well, didn't want what I wanted, or maybe it was a misunderstanding...I'll never know. And I'm not sure whether he's actually a good man or not, didn't date enough to find out anyway. But I'm not complaining, if and when it's meant to be, it's meant to be, like it happened for our smitten friend a few posts above And my friend outsidethebox found somebody too. Happy for both

 

Somebody said, it's not how many times you fail, is how many times you get up.

 

My enthusiasm for the guy I'll meet on Sat went down, didn't like his message tonight. It was shorter than mine and he ended it with "and I want a hug". Turned me off.....idk why I think I might know, it's just "here we go again with the physical"....Thought this one was different. I just don't know if I make any sense but I was kinda bummed. Gave him a chance based on his writing, tonight didn't cut it.

[shexy]

I did OLD after my divorce a few years ago, and for me it was frustrating and annoying, but I don't seem to meet single men my age outside of OLD.

 

I volunteer for 2 dog rescue organizations, but you just don't meet single straight men doing that! I'm not going to troll the hardware store in heels hoping to catch a man there. I don't do bars.

 

I sort of feel like if I ever do decide to date again, I almost have to do OLD , but the thought of it right now makes me want to puke

[Cutiepie1976]

Is this the guy from two hours away who works in a store? (Having a hard time keeping up with all the men!)

 

Agree that it was not the best thing to say, but cut him some slack since it was a suggestion for a hug, not something more overtly sexual. Texting is a horrible medium to communicate with a stranger. It's all fodder for misinterpretation.

 

Just ignore the comment. Unless he continues to escalate, see how it goes Saturday, then decide. Have you guys had a phone call? I found a screening phone call very helpful before deciding on a date. Some folks just go on the date. Figure out what works for you.