MidwestUSA Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Can't imagine he's after money; what would make you think that? You didn't flaunt your retirement savings in front of him, did you? Does he realize you have to be 55 to get the senior discount at Steak n Shake or Target? Link to post Share on other sites
outsidethebox Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Your friend has an interesting point. Like Midwest says, it can't be the senior discount he's looking for, and unless he made a I can shag her in 10 days bet not sure about his determination here. But does have a hint of conman as portrayed in movies, the young good looking guy going after women of more substance than them to con them out of money. We can be more optimistic though and attribute it to, I don't know, sexiest woman who will talk to him from OLD? Possible. Anyway a very good point from your friend. No matter how well intentioned this particular guy is, this is how the conmen win their lady marks over. You just may be sexier than you think though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BluEyeL Posted May 3, 2013 Author Share Posted May 3, 2013 I've been thinking about the details of how it all evolved and I still think he's just after the sex, there is no indication of a con man, because he is not trying to earn trust etc, talks about sex only and it became clear that he only looked at my pictures online, didn't even read the profile. My friend doesn't understand why he didn't give up when I turned him down first time. But my friend also has some issues and is very invested in my romantic failure on all fronts But I won't sleep with the guy, just analyzing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BluEyeL Posted May 3, 2013 Author Share Posted May 3, 2013 I feel a teaching moment coming on! Who is going to teach who? Link to post Share on other sites
curlygirl40 Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 BluEyeL this reminds me of a story. A friend and I were getting pedicures a few months ago. She's 48, newly separated, VERY flirty (always looking for attention and gets it!). We were sitting next to each other getting pedicures and discussing OKCupid and the 20 somethings that always messaged us. We were joking about the cougar thing. The 25 year old guy who was doing her pedicure, to set the stage GORGEOUS. Buff. Very handsome. He was getting in on the conversation and joked with us that it was 'on his bucket list' to sleep with an older woman. Well she put her phone number on his tip and they have slept together twice since then. I kid you not. So according to him, it was simply on his bucket list. Something he wanted to do. Your guy could be looking for sex just for the sake of it. For the thrill of it. 'older' women have that reputation of being more confident in bed. Confident in our bodies, confident in our abilities. Maybe he's tired of fooling around with 20 somethings and just wants to try on a 'woman' for size. Could be that simple!! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BluEyeL Posted May 3, 2013 Author Share Posted May 3, 2013 (edited) Possibly Fun story curlygirl It doesn't really matter in the end, but of course it's more flattering to think that I'm attractive than that I'm an old hag that needs a gigolo So I'll go with the version that is more convenient for me LOL Edited May 3, 2013 by BluEyeL 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 You just may be sexier than you think though. I'm thinking she is. I'm gonna stalk her profile with my fake account. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Poppy fields Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 My husband is 8 years younger than me, and is the major breadwinner in our household. We have been together since he was 24 and I was 31. I am now almost 40. He is a great catch. You never know. Also, I think you should have sex with this guy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BluEyeL Posted May 3, 2013 Author Share Posted May 3, 2013 I'm thinking she is. I'm gonna stalk her profile with my fake account. I don't have a profile lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author BluEyeL Posted May 3, 2013 Author Share Posted May 3, 2013 My husband is 8 years younger than me, and is the major breadwinner in our household. We have been together since he was 24 and I was 31. I am now almost 40. He is a great catch. You never know. Also, I think you should have sex with this guy. Good for you Poppy, wonderful! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 I don't have a profile lol Can you reactivate it? I'm only gonna be single for another 45 hours! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BluEyeL Posted May 3, 2013 Author Share Posted May 3, 2013 Can you reactivate it? I'm only gonna be single for another 45 hours! LOL You keep making me jealous :laugh: Ready for the wedding? Dress great? Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 I went from no dress to three just yesterday, LOL! And bought his clothes today. Now I guess it's time to write some vows, LOL! Link to post Share on other sites
Author BluEyeL Posted May 3, 2013 Author Share Posted May 3, 2013 I went from no dress to three just yesterday, LOL! And bought his clothes today. Now I guess it's time to write some vows, LOL! Wow, at least you guys are efficient So happy for you! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BluEyeL Posted May 4, 2013 Author Share Posted May 4, 2013 Also, I think you should have sex with this guy. Wouldn't this a horrible double standard here? So when the about 50 yo guys balding and with some belly want the sex, I make them wait and do not put out no matter what, but with a hot young one, I do? Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 Wouldn't this a horrible double standard here? So when the about 50 yo guys balding and with some belly want the sex, I make them wait and do not put out no matter what, but with a hot young one, I do? At some point you'll "decide" to "put out" (love that phrase) well, just because. Because you can, and you want to, and it seems right. You will know when that moment is. Just be safe! Thanks for the condolences, um, err, congrats. Tuesday, as we were picking up our marriage license, I realized it would have been my wedding anniversary (#25!) Eight plus years divorced. Do the math. In no way trying to make you jealous; I meant what I said about the prime of your life! We got a lot of livin' to do yet! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
curlygirl40 Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 Wouldn't this a horrible double standard here? So when the about 50 yo guys balding and with some belly want the sex, I make them wait and do not put out no matter what, but with a hot young one, I do? I know I will be judged by some for saying this, but I absolutely act differently with each guy depending on what I want out of it. If you want a relationship, you definitely shouldn't sleep with a guy too soon. Get to know each other, make sure you're on the same page, etc. But when I know that it will only be casual, and that's what I decide I'm looking for, I act differently. I just do. I know what I want. I know what I'm looking for. And for the most part, I think I know how to get it when the time and the person is right. But sometimes I get tired of looking and I just want some good sex darnit!! We're in our 40's!! If we can't have some good, responsible (wrap that sucker) fun, what other benefits are there of being in our 40's and single?! So don't apologize for it. You're a grown woman. F it. The issue I always have is more wondering if the universe will give me what I want (a relationship) if I'm filling that void (no pun intended....well....o.k maybe, lol) by something that is not so fulfilling emotionally. That's the issue I struggle with sometimes. I'm in a casual relationship right now that's not going anywhere. I know it, he knows it. We like each other, the timing is just all wrong. So I'm having my fun with him but looking over my shoulder at the same time for something more 'real'. But I have to admit that I worry that the universe will not give me what I want when some of my needs are being met elsewhere. I'm not really sure if it's possible to be having some NSA fun with someone and be looking for my next 'one' at the same time. And sorry to threadjack but congrats Midwest!! So happy for you! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 Love your thoughts, curly, I agree 100%. And thank you! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BluEyeL Posted May 4, 2013 Author Share Posted May 4, 2013 Curly, I think all you're saying makes a lot of sense. I have issues, because I haven't had casual sex before, so it would be hard to start, plus this guy intimidates the heck out of me. The universe thing, I don't think the universe will punish you, but I'm thinking, if I (not you) had a casual relationship with a guy, I am not sure if, even if I fully knew it was casual, I could be with my heart completely open to others. But in fact, I don't know, I don't have the experience. The Universe will not punish you for sure ) The guy who wants to keep calling, called tonight. We spoke only for about 20 minutes, which was good. The strange thing was that he mentioned a show that will take place in September and he seemed to suggest that we would go to it together. He didn't say it straight, but it surely sounded like it. So I'm a bit worried he's making these fantasies before meeting. We'll meet next Saturday. I'm meeting another guy for lunch tomorrow. He called yesterday, but he seemed kinda bored talking to me (not because of me, I don't think, but didn't seem enthusiastic..."hey listen, hm, wanna get together" blah bla:D. Maybe he's jaded. So I have another one on Tu and one last one I had poofed. That's better. Link to post Share on other sites
curlygirl40 Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 The guy who wants to keep calling, called tonight. We spoke only for about 20 minutes, which was good. The strange thing was that he mentioned a show that will take place in September and he seemed to suggest that we would go to it together. He didn't say it straight, but it surely sounded like it. So I'm a bit worried he's making these fantasies before meeting. We'll meet next Saturday. . I had a guy friend once tell me that he thinks sometimes men create these things in their minds like they ARE in a relationship with you. I was very close to him and would tell him all of my dating stories and he would tell me that the reason why some of these guys get so invested so early on was because they had this fantasy in their minds about us being in a relationship before we even met and that's why they act that way. Making plans for the future, etc. I had a guy ask me to go away with him for a weekend right after we met. Strange. I just don't move that fast. But this guy took his profile down that night, started mentioning things we could do for Christmas (it was September), etc., etc. Sometimes people want to be in a relationship so badly that they put the cart before the horse. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BluEyeL Posted May 4, 2013 Author Share Posted May 4, 2013 I think that's it here. This one is the oldest I ever been on a date with (53), he's not great looking (but very tall), so I think he might be a bit too excited. We'll see how it plays out. Link to post Share on other sites
curlygirl40 Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 That's always a red flag for me because I feel like it's not me they like, but the thought of me. The thought of being in a relationship with someone who could fog a mirror and has a vagina. lol Sorry, that's wrong, but you get my meaning. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BluEyeL Posted May 13, 2013 Author Share Posted May 13, 2013 I'll continue a bit about this last one here. So we've been talking for two weeks. First week, writing every day and calling every other day, very interested/sweet etc. Now, my profile was off the site. This past week Tu night a reactivated the profile. He was supposed to call Wed evening. I closed my profile again Wed mid-morning. He went cold after that, he didn't call on Wed as promised and his texts became shorter, although he texted good morning every day. We were supposed to meet on Sunday and he cancelled, said he had the flu and "maybe we can reschedule for next week". I said no, I think the interest is not there, thanks for your time. He answered that he really is sick and he thinks I found somebody else, bc. I was aloof about my plans for Thursday night (he said he can't call bc he's going to a dinner, and I said that's good, I also had plans) and if I didn't, he wants to continue. Since I'm the one with giving benefit of the doubt, I accepted to continue, maybe he really was sick (doubt it though). He continued to text, hasn't called anymore. Scheduled dinner Wed night. Yesterday he says: I want to talk about some things and texted thesse questions (not in a row like this, in a conversation of sorts): 1. What are you looking in a male companion 2.How long have you been divorced 3. Why did you wait so long to date; Are you looking to get married? 4. How many dates have you been on in 2013 5. Could you handle a physical relationship at this point? 6. He ends: I'm good at picking people and I think I'm going to hit it off with you blah blah I told him I'm looking for LTR and I haven't counted the dates, but I've been on 10+/-; yes, for physical of course, when the time comes. This morning he didn't text good morning, as usual. Now, I don't have hopes for this one, just wanted to journal it. He seems controlling and insecure, his ex cheated on him, it's like a first date is a marriage proposal needs to ask so many questions blah blah blah blah. I think he'll cancel again, let's see. Looks bad my friends, right? Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted May 13, 2013 Share Posted May 13, 2013 Oh, yuck, what a turnoff! He forgot "where do you see yourself in five years?", LOL! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
curlygirl40 Posted May 13, 2013 Share Posted May 13, 2013 He's putting the cart before the horse. Why not go on a few dates first and see if you even connect without firing questions like that. I know you said they were not in a row, but still. Can you imagine doing this to a guy? He would leave skid marks in the parking lot. lol I understand being afraid of being hurt. But that's too much. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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