Four months of OLD-summary

[Cutiepie1976]

Somebody said, it's not how many times you fail, is how many times you get up.

 

By the way, this is so true!

[BluEyeL]

Is this the guy from two hours away who works in a store? (Having a hard time keeping up with all the men!)

 

Agree that it was not the best thing to say, but cut him some slack since it was a suggestion for a hug, not something more overtly sexual. Texting is a horrible medium to communicate with a stranger. It's all fodder for misinterpretation.

 

Just ignore the comment. Unless he continues to escalate, see how it goes Saturday, then decide. Have you guys had a phone call? I found a screening phone call very helpful before deciding on a date. Some folks just go on the date. Figure out what works for you.

 

Yes, that guy. I liked him very much so far, he seems the most decent. We spoke on the phone twice, I liked him. There were short phone calls, but I liked his voice and how he was speaking, very nice. However, the past two messages (we mostly email just texted to set up phone calls) had two things that bothered me. One, yesterday, he ended it with: "thank you for giving me a chance" (not confident). and today "and I want a hug" (creepy?? idk). And the message was too short looked like it was written on the phone. I just picked him based on his writing, what are we doing here now? He's still driving 2h to see me, so still like him, but my excitement was very high. Maybe is better to come back to Earth

 

And "all the men" led me nowhere so far:confused:

[BluEyeL]

I did OLD after my divorce a few years ago, and for me it was frustrating and annoying, but I don't seem to meet single men my age outside of OLD.

 

I volunteer for 2 dog rescue organizations, but you just don't meet single straight men doing that! I'm not going to troll the hardware store in heels hoping to catch a man there. I don't do bars.

 

I sort of feel like if I ever do decide to date again, I almost have to do OLD , but the thought of it right now makes me want to puke

 

It is frustrating and annoying, and it is very difficult to meet people outside of it. I just met this guy at a meetup meeting last night. He didn't call me just yet, he might never do, but in any case, the fact that he was "on me" all evening and asked for the phone number, then messaged a quick note after shows that potentially, we could find someone through these group activities. Have you thought of meetup?

[Cutiepie1976]

Yes, that guy. I liked him very much so far, he seems the most decent. We spoke on the phone twice, I liked him. There were short phone calls, but I liked his voice and how he was speaking, very nice. However, the past two messages (we mostly email just texted to set up phone calls) had two things that bothered me. One, yesterday, he ended it with: "thank you for giving me a chance" (not confident). and today "and I want a hug" (creepy?? idk). And the message was too short looked like it was written on the phone. I just picked him based on his writing, what are we doing here now? He's still driving 2h to see me, so still like him, but my excitement was very high. Maybe is better to come back to Earth

 

And "all the men" led me nowhere so far:confused:

 

I wouldn't read into either comment at this point.

 

He clearly seems interested. That's very important if you don't want guys who waste your time going nowhere in a cloud of ambivalence.

 

You thought there might be something there. Also key.

 

Suspend judgment until Saturday...unless he starts sexting or something truly dumb.

Edited May 30, 2013 by Cutiepie1976

[BluEyeL]

I wouldn't read into either comment at this point.

 

He clearly seems interested. That's very important if you don't want guys who waste your time going nowhere in a cloud of ambivalence.

 

You thought there might be something there. Also key.

 

Suspend judgment until Saturday...unless he starts sexting or something truly dumb.

 

I'll do that, thanks

 

Thinking of what I discussed with you in the past, i stopped responding to two guys online. In the past I would have kept responding until they poofed, but now they went beyond 5-6 messages, not asked me out, so I stopped replying. Talking about what you said above about wasting time.

[mortensorchid]

Yikes. Since you were an obvious newbie to the OLD world, I assure you that your stories are not unique. What exactly is the problem with those you encounter? I have asked myself that question a few times, and quite honestly I wonder if the person would be like this if you were to meet them in real life. And in all settings possible (strictly professional, for example) I wonder what they would be like. I am convinced that somehow people assume a new persona when it comes to the online world. Should you ever decide to do it again (which I have no idea if you will or won't) remember this tip:

 

Don't waste time with time wasters

 

These are those who become strictly a texting buddy, those who never respond to your emails, or those who are going on for weeks (sometimes months) talking about stuff (that is anything not related to sex). They are treating the website like a video game, a pen pal forum, or getting their egos stroked. Looks like you encountered a few like that.

 

Now you know, you're not the first.

[irc333]

Also, I keep seeing this "repeat" online dater coming back for more misery...LOL....she must've been on and off the site for years.....granted, she is rather attractive, but an almost 40 waitress at a local dive bar. Has a lot of "posed" photos of herself.

 

And I had to laugh when she started off the write-up with, "Been on and off here several times, so trying it again"

 

Then, about a week later she added that she's tired of the pervs emailing her, and also if you contact her, and she doesn't respond....it means she's not interested.

 

I feel like telling her after being on the site for years, with no such luck in her small , backwater town...and she's turned down every guy that's ever emailed her....to seriously take down her profile, hook a U-HAUL to the back of her car, and head out to a larger city that yields more "hunky, available, single men"

 

Either that, or start taking a realistic approach, and consider meeting the men's she's ignored all this time and consider that coffee or "whatever" meet/date or whatever they call it htese days.

 

I'm personally getting sick of seeing her face there all the time, including a few others whiney women

[irc333]

Her definition of compatibility is likely different than yours. Assuming that shared geeky interests and a certain level of physical looks equates to compatibility or is what she is looking for? That may be leading you astray. Just message the people who interest you, and focus on those who respond positively to your overtures.

 

How am I to know the person is interested in me BEFORE I contact them?

[BluEyeL]

Yikes. Since you were an obvious newbie to the OLD world, I assure you that your stories are not unique. What exactly is the problem with those you encounter? I have asked myself that question a few times, and quite honestly I wonder if the person would be like this if you were to meet them in real life. And in all settings possible (strictly professional, for example) I wonder what they would be like. I am convinced that somehow people assume a new persona when it comes to the online world. Should you ever decide to do it again (which I have no idea if you will or won't) remember this tip:

 

Don't waste time with time wasters

 

These are those who become strictly a texting buddy, those who never respond to your emails, or those who are going on for weeks (sometimes months) talking about stuff (that is anything not related to sex). They are treating the website like a video game, a pen pal forum, or getting their egos stroked. Looks like you encountered a few like that.

 

Now you know, you're not the first.

 

Thanks for the advice. I hope things go well for you too.

 

Ehee, in the meantime I became some sort of an expert, not a "beginner" anymore. The texters (and other duds) from the original posts were due to my inexperience, now it's a completely different story. Nothing is "wrong" with the men I've met. Those who were duds, it was also my fault that I let it happen. Some of the others I've met were OK, just not enough chemistry, let's be honest, on both sides.

 

And some of the men on the board here are kinda right about women and attention/validation. I'm an honest gal, and I admit that I needed some validation when I started, got enough of it for my taste, that's part of why I'm not so nervous anymore I guess. A 10 yrs younger Channing Tatum-look alike helped a lot with that (he's not on this thread, don't look for him ).

 

And an update: The guy from the Tuesday evening meetup texted me this morning, he wants to meet.

[BluEyeL]

Also, I keep seeing this "repeat" online dater coming back for more misery...LOL....she must've been on and off the site for years.....granted, she is rather attractive, but an almost 40 waitress at a local dive bar. Has a lot of "posed" photos of herself.

 

And I had to laugh when she started off the write-up with, "Been on and off here several times, so trying it again"

 

Then, about a week later she added that she's tired of the pervs emailing her, and also if you contact her, and she doesn't respond....it means she's not interested.

 

I feel like telling her after being on the site for years, with no such luck in her small , backwater town...and she's turned down every guy that's ever emailed her....to seriously take down her profile, hook a U-HAUL to the back of her car, and head out to a larger city that yields more "hunky, available, single men"

 

Either that, or start taking a realistic approach, and consider meeting the men's she's ignored all this time and consider that coffee or "whatever" meet/date or whatever they call it htese days.

 

I'm personally getting sick of seeing her face there all the time, including a few others whiney women

 

Her profile sounds really stupid and good luck to her with that, but it is hard to find a match, so I wouldn't be so harsh on the fact that she didn't find someone for a long time And if it's one of the free sites, I'm not surprised she didn't find a relationship.

 

You indeed have no way of knowing if someone will be interested before you actually email them, so keep it up and something will eventually turn up. I know it is difficult to deal with rejection, remember that they are stupid if they reject you

[truth_seeker]

Also, I keep seeing this "repeat" online dater coming back for more misery...LOL....she must've been on and off the site for years.....granted, she is rather attractive, but an almost 40 waitress at a local dive bar. Has a lot of "posed" photos of herself.

 

And I had to laugh when she started off the write-up with, "Been on and off here several times, so trying it again"

 

Then, about a week later she added that she's tired of the pervs emailing her, and also if you contact her, and she doesn't respond....it means she's not interested.

 

I feel like telling her after being on the site for years, with no such luck in her small , backwater town...and she's turned down every guy that's ever emailed her....to seriously take down her profile, hook a U-HAUL to the back of her car, and head out to a larger city that yields more "hunky, available, single men"

 

Either that, or start taking a realistic approach, and consider meeting the men's she's ignored all this time and consider that coffee or "whatever" meet/date or whatever they call it htese days.

 

I'm personally getting sick of seeing her face there all the time, including a few others whiney women

 

Every once in awhile I will look again at OLD to see what's out there. I see some of the same women with updated photos. They talk about the same things: no luck meeting a good guy. Maybe it's not so much luck but rather it's them? If you're a woman on OLD for YEARS... ya think it could be you that's the problem???

[BluEyeL]

Every once in awhile I will look again at OLD to see what's out there. I see some of the same women with updated photos. They talk about the same things: no luck meeting a good guy. Maybe it's not so much luck but rather it's them? If you're a woman on OLD for YEARS... ya think it could be you that's the problem???

 

Stop complaining about OLD women on my thread. I'm a woman, if you didn't notice:laugh:

 

Both men and women are on sites for years, because it's just not easy to find love, if it was easy everyone would be coupled up. It's just stupid to complain in the profile and both genders do it.

Edited May 30, 2013 by BluEyeL

[irc333]

Every once in awhile I will look again at OLD to see what's out there. I see some of the same women with updated photos. They talk about the same things: no luck meeting a good guy. Maybe it's not so much luck but rather it's them? If you're a woman on OLD for YEARS... ya think it could be you that's the problem???

 

Of course not....why? Because they won't settle!! They could be on a deserted island stranded, and if the guy she's stranded with is under 6 feet tall, she STILL wouldn't let him touch her.

[BluEyeL]

So, people were telling me to switch to live events, and that's what I've done with meetup. I met this guy this Tu at one of these events. He told me he's on match and recognized me from there.

Sooooo.....at these live events there are the same people that are on match :laugh::laugh:

Edited May 30, 2013 by BluEyeL

[apple OR orange]

maybe they should go lower in their attractiveness bracket? Maybe not to very overweight women, but surely they aim too high.

 

 

OR maybe guys don’t get answers from women, ive proven this in another thread with profiles and voip numbers and response times...

 

So a guy has to date someone lower than him to even get a response, yes, folks this is 21st century equality actually working in front of your eyes.

 

 

While we are here, based on the above "date worse looking women" answer, i think if you dont like guys who want sex, date a gay guy, he will never want sex with you ever and will always be your friend forever.

[apple OR orange]

Of course not....why? Because they won't settle!! They could be on a deserted island stranded, and if the guy she's stranded with is under 6 feet tall, she STILL wouldn't let him touch her.

 

I actually did the numbers at one point, you have better odds winning more than 500'000 on the lottery buying 10 tickets for the same night than getting a "relationship" with any women in a shopping mall....

[Phantom888]

I found an alternative to OLD, which is Meetup dot com. It's live social groups for people who have common interests. I met a few nice ladies on that site, but they all wanted to have sex with me on the 1st date. I'm not even all that sexy, but I don't know why these women just see me as "meat". But I digress...

 

Anyway, definitely check out live groups because there is no hidden unknowns in the beginning.

[FitChick]

Anyway, definitely check out live groups because there is no hidden unknowns in the beginning.

 

That's what you think.

[irc333]

I found an alternative to OLD, which is Meetup dot com. It's live social groups for people who have common interests. I met a few nice ladies on that site, but they all wanted to have sex with me on the 1st date. I'm not even all that sexy, but I don't know why these women just see me as "meat". But I digress...

 

Anyway, definitely check out live groups because there is no hidden unknowns in the beginning.

 

Oh man, don't get Star Gazer started on "Meeting women at Meetup". LOL.....she can't stand men that try to ask her out at those events.

[RedRobin]

I keep a profile up on OkC that just has friends/activity partners... not dating.

 

Did it mostly to expand my social circle... but I'm pretty firm against the idea of dating/romance with people online... after having a similar experience as you...

 

The people I've met doing things this way have been a lot more pleasant... although, you will still get flooded by emails from guys who think friends/activity partners means casual sex... those are easy to sift out though...

[RedRobin]

Oh man, don't get Star Gazer started on "Meeting women at Meetup". LOL.....she can't stand men that try to ask her out at those events.

 

I feel the same way. If I want to be ambushed by a stranger, I'd go back online.

 

when I attend Meetups or other groups, I would prefer to get to know the guy a bit before going on a date with him... especially these days since they still have the same expectations regarding timing.. Sorry. Just gets old.

[salparadise]

.....she can't stand men that try to ask her out at those events.

 

Until she encounters one that she really likes, then it will be like what the hell is wrong with that guy... acts like he's afraid to ask me out!

 

(no offense to sg, purely generic)

[BluEyeL]

I feel the same way. If I want to be ambushed by a stranger, I'd go back online.

 

when I attend Meetups or other groups, I would prefer to get to know the guy a bit before going on a date with him... especially these days since they still have the same expectations regarding timing.. Sorry. Just gets old.

Hm...I actually like to be "ambushed" at meetups. In fact, that's exactly why I'm going . If I don't like the guys, I just excuse myself and walk away.

 

Unless it's my meetup group, women only.

[RedRobin]

Hm...I actually like to be "ambushed" at meetups. In fact, that's exactly why I'm going . If I don't like the guys, I just excuse myself and walk away.

 

Unless it's my meetup group, women only.

 

Well, at least you have the chance to size him up a bit before agreeing to a date... and you are doing something fun! So no matter what, it was a good time...

[irc333]

 

The people I've met doing things this way have been a lot more pleasant... although, you will still get flooded by emails from guys who think friends/activity partners means casual sex... those are easy to sift out though...

 

The men you've actually met from OKC, you sure they're not gay? Men don't come to dating sites the same reason you are that's for sure.

 

They either, like you mentioned, want to get some meaningless action or want a girlfriend.

 

You cannot have your cake and eat it too. Men don't go to dating sites to be your buddy.

 

I once recalled a MARRIED woman on OKC, says her husband is okay with her being on the site, however she never meets people from the site (for obvious reasons I suppose). VERY strange arrangement for her husband to even allow her on the site.