Four months of OLD-summary

[BluEyeL]

My reluctance comes from previous experiences with people who were gung ho before meeting, only to fall off the face of the earth after. So I'm not so willing to invest like 1h a day for the next 10 days in someone that might or might not actually date me. But don't want to turn him off either, so it's a delicate balance.

[sillyanswer]

That was the question, how do I communicate this without offending him.

 

"If we talk too much on the phone this week we won't have anything left to talk about on our first date, which I'm really looking forward to, but I'm free on Sunday so call me then?"

[sillyanswer]

For some reason, I really really like the way you put that. :-)

 

Thanks! Sometimes I try to find creative ways of saying "don't tell us, tell him/her!" and some of them are more successful than others.

[clia]

I think what you said is right on, although I probably would have said "tonight won't work for me and I have a busy weekend planned, so why don't you call me on Monday?" to space it out even more.

 

I don't blame you for not wanting to talk to him on the phone every night before you meet. You want to keep in contact and let him know you are interested in meeting him, but that's the extent of it. No reason to risk getting too attached in case of a possible letdown when you meet.

[BluEyeL]

Thanks, good idea!

 

But I want to tell you too.... Look, I got a great idea that I will use.

[BluEyeL]

 

I don't blame you for not wanting to talk to him on the phone every night before you meet. You want to keep in contact and let him know you are interested in meeting him, but that's the extent of it. No reason to risk getting too attached in case of a possible letdown when you meet.

 

That's exactly my mindset. After I put my hopes up a couple of times and with #1 I took 1 month to get over the disappointment, I am trying to be very cautious and adopt an "wait, see, don't get excited" attitude.

[BluEyeL]

Why would you pay for a dating sites when there's free ones and it's just as good or should I say just as bad??

 

I've read on a dating siting that many people either goes years without a relationship or get into a relationship that lasts for a short duration and they come back look again. The problem with dating sites is that it attract men that lacks confidence, men that wants really only wants sex or just attention seeking men who just want to chat. A very small percentage of online daters actually get into a long term relationship or marriage.

 

At least in real life men will have to ask you out face to face or even have the guts to talk to you.

 

Yes, you are right about the dating sites. The reason I tried them is because I am 41 and have no way to meet single men, all my colleagues are married, and my few local friends (have more long distance friends) don't know any single men. My life is career, kid, hang out with these three friends I have...no opportunity to meet anyone.

[MidwestUSA]

Have fun tonight, Blu. Don't forget, you are the cream of the crop, in the prime of your life. HE is out there! You'll get a lot of interesting psych case studies before you find him, but hey, we can coauthor a book on it later!

[MidwestUSA]

I've been approached by women in grocery stores. I don't socialize much due to environmental health issue. If there's a will there's a way.

I found the grocery a great way to people watch; nothing wrong with that! What's an environmental health issue, if I can be so bold to ask?

[charlietheginger]

OLD = twilightzone.......

Be glad you dont have the stalker, creeper stories

 

Like sexting pics that a creep post on craigslist with

Your number and adress...

Some guys are creeps

[MidwestUSA]

OLD = twilightzone.......

Be glad you dont have the stalker, creeper stories

 

Like sexting pics that a creep post on craigslist with

Your number and adress...

Some guys are creeps

Oh, but I DO, I DO, I DO have those stories! Not sure if Blu does yet, but if she's with it long enough, she will.

[outsidethebox]

It's strictly opinion, not experience, but in my opinion talking on phone before first date more than the one long call already either ruins the date or builds interest in each other if the calls go well, to the degree that date is not a first date after that but more like a reunion. If calls don't go well it'd be like you heard the spiel you'd hear on first date, might as well cancel it.

 

To hold the interest, I'm thinking something like "hold those thoughts, I'd like to hear them from you in person." Of course the calls could be very interesting and you like them so keep talking before you meet, I'm just thinking not a good idea to let the guy take that much of your time before you decide if you want to date him. This is just my general reaction, have also seen others post this opinion here quite a few times as doesn't work out well.

 

Regardless, good luck BluEyeL!

[MidwestUSA]

Outside, you are so right. Any excess electronic communication (email, text, even phone!) does tend to build things out of proportion, and usually only in the mind of one of the parties. It can make for an incredible letdown upon meeting. Best course of action is exchange numbers, chat a bit, and meet. Before someone loses interest or one party builds you into their soulmate! Yikes, I had one of those, LOL! Not sure which chapter I'll put him in.

[BluEyeL]

Oh, but I DO, I DO, I DO have those stories! Not sure if Blu does yet, but if she's with it long enough, she will.

 

Gee, thanks for the encouragement

[BluEyeL]

It's strictly opinion, not experience, but in my opinion talking on phone before first date more than the one long call already either ruins the date or builds interest in each other if the calls go well, to the degree that date is not a first date after that but more like a reunion. If calls don't go well it'd be like you heard the spiel you'd hear on first date, might as well cancel it.

 

 

Regardless, good luck BluEyeL!

 

I agree, what are you gonna say on the date anyway? It's always tough to keep talking for a couple of hours, we'll have nothing to tell each other.

[BluEyeL]

So tonight I've been on a date with this 31 yo man, he looks like a model, never went out with such a good looking man before. Of course, we all know what he wants. No idea why he wants it from me, he could have 20 yo models. Should I give it up? Not really asking you, kidding.

[BluEyeL]

I've been approached by women in grocery stores. I don't socialize much due to environmental health issue. If there's a will there's a way.

No way I can approach men in grocery stores.

[FitChick]

No way I can approach men in grocery stores.

I like to cook so when I am in the supermarket I am on a mission and very focused. The last thing I am thinking about is dating. If someone approaches me for that reason I am oblivious.

 

Once I was approached by the star of a TV show but had no clue. Someone who works in my company told me about it the next day since he was there, "I saw (actor) chatting you up yesterday." "Who is that?" "He's the star of (TV show)!" I don't have a TV. Never heard of him and didn't care.

 

Another time I had the opportunity to approach another good looking TV star at the supermarket but passed. He seemed a bit stupid. Didn't know that he could wrap a potato and cook it in the microwave. I was tempted to help him but thought, I have to finish my shopping. Couldn't tell you who he was either but the other shoppers seemed dazzled. Light brown hair, handsome face, great body. (yawn)

 

So I guess the answer is yes, you could date someone you met in a supermarket, but if that same person approached you elsewhere you would have the same reaction. Supermarkets aren't magic.

[sillyanswer]

So tonight I've been on a date with this 31 yo man, he looks like a model, never went out with such a good looking man before. Of course, we all know what he wants. No idea why he wants it from me, he could have 20 yo models. Should I give it up? Not really asking you, kidding.

 

Maybe the 20 yo models are too easy, or pretty-but-dumb, or too exposed to people who look like models that even he struggles to get their attention!

 

Are you going to see him again?

[soccerrprp]

 

Another time I had the opportunity to approach another good looking TV star at the supermarket but passed. He seemed a bit stupid. Didn't know that he could wrap a potato and cook it in the microwave. I was tempted to help him but thought, I have to finish my shopping. Couldn't tell you who he was either but the other shoppers seemed dazzled. Light brown hair, handsome face, great body. (yawn)

 

You must be some hot chick, FitChick to be approached by stars.

 

Oh, maybe he was "playing" stupid to get you to talk/notice to him?

[MidwestUSA]

I like to cook so when I am in the supermarket I am on a mission and very focused. The last thing I am thinking about is dating. If someone approaches me for that reason I am oblivious.

 

Once I was approached by the star of a TV show but had no clue. Someone who works in my company told me about it the next day since he was there, "I saw (actor) chatting you up yesterday." "Who is that?" "He's the star of (TV show)!" I don't have a TV. Never heard of him and didn't care.

 

Another time I had the opportunity to approach another good looking TV star at the supermarket but passed. He seemed a bit stupid. Didn't know that he could wrap a potato and cook it in the microwave. I was tempted to help him but thought, I have to finish my shopping. Couldn't tell you who he was either but the other shoppers seemed dazzled. Light brown hair, handsome face, great body. (yawn)

 

So I guess the answer is yes, you could date someone you met in a supermarket, but if that same person approached you elsewhere you would have the same reaction. Supermarkets aren't magic.

You know they have idiot-proofed those potatoes. Prewrapped with instructions RIGHT ON the wrapper!

[BluEyeL]

Are you going to see him again?

 

I don't know, he keeps texting despite the fact that I provided very sub-par sexy times:laugh: But with this one, is just about sex, so if I see him, I'm afraid it's gonna have to be in the sack LOL Unlike the 50+ year olds who want the same thing, at least he's hot

[BluEyeL]

You must be some hot chick, FitChick to be approached by stars.

 

I was thinking the same thing! But of course she is, isn't she a Fit Chick ?

 

Plus, she must live in LA, I know there are no movie stars in my corn field

[BluEyeL]

So, about this 31 yo good looking guy, very suspicious that he wants to get with me (41), even just for sex, he can find sex anywhere. He asked me out Tu for Fri and I said no. He got mad, skipped about 10h of texting, he came back, finally asked me out a second time, when I said yes, what can he do to me, I'll go in public. I didn't get him much sexy time, and he still didn't go away....why? My female friend says it is very suspicious that a good looking 31yo makes so much effort for a 41yo, he can get sex anywhere, maybe he wants my money.... Maybe? Didn't think about that, I thought he just wanted sex. Maybe she's right huh?

[MidwestUSA]

He can get sex anywhere. He can only get the very special sex that an older, wiser woman can provide from that very special, older, wiser woman! I feel a teaching moment coming on!