RedRobin Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 The men you've actually met from OKC, you sure they're not gay? Men don't come to dating sites the same reason you are that's for sure. They either, like you mentioned, want to get some meaningless action or want a girlfriend. You cannot have your cake and eat it too. Men don't go to dating sites to be your buddy. I once recalled a MARRIED woman on OKC, says her husband is okay with her being on the site, however she never meets people from the site (for obvious reasons I suppose). VERY strange arrangement for her husband to even allow her on the site. All of the men I've met or talked to all said they were looking for friends/activity partners... and some were looking for relationships. If they aren't ok with being a friend or activity partner, then they shouldn't put that on their profile or agree to meet me. There is a header for casual sex, short term relationships and long term relationships.... if that is all they are looking for. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 I found an alternative to OLD, which is Meetup dot com. It's live social groups for people who have common interests. I met a few nice ladies on that site, but they all wanted to have sex with me on the 1st date. I'm not even all that sexy, but I don't know why these women just see me as "meat". But I digress... Anyway, definitely check out live groups because there is no hidden unknowns in the beginning. Word! I met my boyfriend through Meetup. It is so much better than OLD. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BluEyeL Posted June 1, 2013 Author Share Posted June 1, 2013 Word! I met my boyfriend through Meetup. It is so much better than OLD. So I did go to ONE meetup this week, and I have a date next Tu. I'll let you know how that works If everytime I go to a meetup I get a guy as easily as this week, then I'm all for meetups Maybe I'm hotter than I thought idk LOL 1 Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Hm...I actually like to be "ambushed" at meetups. In fact, that's exactly why I'm going . If I don't like the guys, I just excuse myself and walk away. Unless it's my meetup group, women only. Funny, "ambushed" as she likes to refer to it. lol. I've seen women at Meetups surrounded by 3 men at once, didn't phase her a bit, and it looked like she was enjoying herself (probably because she was new, lol). Anyhow, that's what I like about those event...you see...online, a woman can simply click the "Delete" button, or even ignore the email In person, she's pretty much going to stand there and would have an opportunity to get to know you. There's no "delete" button in real life. ;-) Link to post Share on other sites
Author BluEyeL Posted June 1, 2013 Author Share Posted June 1, 2013 Funny, "ambushed" as she likes to refer to it. lol. I've seen women at Meetups surrounded by 3 men at once, didn't phase her a bit, and it looked like she was enjoying herself (probably because she was new, lol). Anyhow, that's what I like about those event...you see...online, a woman can simply click the "Delete" button, or even ignore the email In person, she's pretty much going to stand there and would have an opportunity to get to know you. There's no "delete" button in real life. ;-) So first meet up I went to, it was very short, they were mainly introducing themselves (new members meeting) and read a bunch of boring rules. At the end I was surrounded precisely by 3 men indeed but I left in 10 minutes, didn't go far. I did enjoy the attention and I did like one of them. BUT there is a delete button at meetup too I'm afraid:D. I walk away from those that I don't like. Last Tu I started at one side of the room and started to walk. A few men talked to me on the way, I exchanged a few pleasantries with each and kept moving....."Excuse me...." and I walked another part of the room until one that I liked talked to me, so this is when I stayed:cool: So I'm afraid, if I didn't like you, I wasn't gonna stand there. Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 All of the men I've met or talked to all said they were looking for friends/activity partners... and some were looking for relationships. If they aren't ok with being a friend or activity partner, then they shouldn't put that on their profile or agree to meet me. There is a header for casual sex, short term relationships and long term relationships.... if that is all they are looking for. Just curious, isn't that what your Facebook friends are for? Eventually a man is going to make a "Move" on you, otherwise it's not normal. lol Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 So first meet up I went to, it was very short, they were mainly introducing themselves (new members meeting) and read a bunch of boring rules. At the end I was surrounded precisely by 3 men indeed but I left in 10 minutes, didn't go far. I did enjoy the attention and I did like one of them. BUT there is a delete button at meetup too I'm afraid:D. I walk away from those that I don't like. Last Tu I started at one side of the room and started to walk. A few men talked to me on the way, I exchanged a few pleasantries with each and kept moving....."Excuse me...." and I walked another part of the room until one that I liked talked to me, so this is when I stayed:cool: So I'm afraid, if I didn't like you, I wasn't gonna stand there. You left in 10 mins? What kind of Meetup was it? If you just "walked away" from me, I'd label you one of those snobby women that just come and go to Meetups, but never really stick around long enough to become a regular. Unless the guy was completely rude to you, I can see you walking away. You're only there with an agenda, and not really any kind of developing any real friendship/relationships with anyone, just wanting an instant relationship, yes? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BluEyeL Posted June 1, 2013 Author Share Posted June 1, 2013 You left in 10 mins? What kind of Meetup was it? If you just "walked away" from me, I'd label you one of those snobby women that just come and go to Meetups, but never really stick around long enough to become a regular. It was just a new members meeting "singles over 40" is the name of the group. I didn't just stay for 10minutes, the whole thing took about 1.5h. There was a lot of talking from the organizers and then we went around the room introducing ourselves, and in the end we mingled a bit. I left after 10 minutes of mingling because it was already late for me and I live 1h away, my son was with a sitter etc. Second meetup of this group, in fact the first "real" one with mingling the whole time not rule reading and blah blah was last Tuesday. That's when I walked around the room and I finally scored a date. I'd walk away from you if I didn't like you, because, as opposed to other women who "don't want to be ambushed", I go there precisely to hunt and be ambushed, so I'll hunt for the ones I like and will not be trapped by someone I don't like. Is it my right to look for someone I like or not? And why would I care how someone I didn't like labeled me? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BluEyeL Posted June 1, 2013 Author Share Posted June 1, 2013 And I don't understand why would you like to talk to a woman who doesn't like you. i wouldn't like to talk to a man who doesn't like me, so what's the point in being happy that she had to stand there. She doesn't really have to stand there, she'll stand if she wants too, if not, she'll move. Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 It was just a new members meeting "singles over 40" is the name of the group. I didn't just stay for 10minutes, the whole thing took about 1.5h. There was a lot of talking from the organizers and then we went around the room introducing ourselves, and in the end we mingled a bit. I left after 10 minutes of mingling because it was already late for me and I live 1h away, my son was with a sitter etc. Second meetup of this group, in fact the first "real" one with mingling the whole time not rule reading and blah blah was last Tuesday. That's when I walked around the room and I finally scored a date. I'd walk away from you if I didn't like you, because, as opposed to other women who "don't want to be ambushed", I go there precisely to hunt and be ambushed, so I'll hunt for the ones I like and will not be trapped by someone I don't like. Is it my right to look for someone I like or not? And why would I care how someone I didn't like labeled me? OH okay, ever thought about attending a non-Singles related Meetup, like a hiking, biking, kayaking or whatever special interest you might be into? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BluEyeL Posted June 1, 2013 Author Share Posted June 1, 2013 OH okay, ever thought about attending a non-Singles related Meetup, like a hiking, biking, kayaking or whatever special interest you might be into? Yes, I'm thinking about that. I'm starting with the singles and will move into others. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Just curious, isn't that what your Facebook friends are for? Eventually a man is going to make a "Move" on you, otherwise it's not normal. lol Why is it 'normal' to attend a non-singles event and be plowed for a date right away? How about they act 'normal' and give me a chance to get to know them a little in a neutral setting where I'm not obliged to make a romantic decision about them ASAP? ... Otherwise, my observation is that these guys don't treat their dates from Meetups much differently than their online dates... and I refuse to be the Meetup 'punchbowl' (ie everyone takes a dip)... it is worse than high school with the friggin' gossip. Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 Why is it 'normal' to attend a non-singles event and be plowed for a date right away? From my experience with Meetup, it depends on the person and the situation, I know men who play it cool....taking their time getting to know the person in the group. After hearing what you had to say, you are a good example of why you've made it harder on men to approach women in any kind of romantic fashion. It's like you're purposely resisting dating or something or going out of your way to do so. Also, the reason why dating sites have went straight to the casual dating / activity partner thing is because they just want to get more web traffic to the site. Even though it shows the iconic "cherub" with the wings that represents love. lol Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 ...also...RR...it's like you want control over the men's behavior when they approach you....not realistic. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 ...also...RR...it's like you want control over the men's behavior when they approach you....not realistic. No. I just want to go have a fun time and talk to people without having what amounts to strangers trying to stake their claim on the new chick. I've been asked out on dates by guys who met me there for the first time... which is really not that different (to me) than a cold approach at the local bar. Not happening. Link to post Share on other sites
nerd Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 I've been asked out on dates by guys who met me there for the first time... which is really not that different (to me) than a cold approach at the local bar. Not happening. But there are plenty of girls who are fine with that - how is a guy supposed to know you aren't? Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 But there are plenty of girls who are fine with that - how is a guy supposed to know you aren't? I don't give them any indication I want to be asked on a date. If I'm interested in a guy, he will know it... and I will create situations where asking me on a date is easy and straightforward. I may even ask him out myself, depending on the guy. Link to post Share on other sites
straightshooter82 Posted June 1, 2013 Share Posted June 1, 2013 I don't give them any indication I want to be asked on a date. If I'm interested in a guy, he will know it... and I will create situations where asking me on a date is easy and straightforward. I may even ask him out myself, depending on the guy. Not all women are like you though. Some women make it very difficult to know that they are interested as they can be too subtle. I do agree that it is a tad distasteful to surround the new woman in a non-singles meetup group and ask her out multiple times on her first meetup when she doesn't really know anybody yet. I've had pretty good experiences using meetup. I'm not a big fan of the singles groups as the environment can be uncomfortable, and in my experience, the highest quality people use the non-singles groups to meet dating partners in a more natural manner. Just my experience so no offense to those who are active in singles meetup groups. Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 I don't give them any indication I want to be asked on a date. Not giving them an indication that you'd liked to be asked out is going to stop them from asking you out. lol. Us guys, in general, will go for the digits the first meet (at least at the end of the party or when he decides to leave the party). "Hey, I'm about to leave, mind if I get your number, so we can stay in touch?" R.R. - "Um...no sorry". lol Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 Sidenote here.....went to a recent Meetup....of sorts, where about 4 women that were at the Meetup...I had also contacted with a "Hey, small world, you're on here too?" type of email through the dating site. Every woman I had sent a message to on POF (that I had known in real life), had been very short with me that day. Guess "crossing worlds" makes them uncomfortable I suppose. Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 I've had pretty good experiences using meetup. I'm not a big fan of the singles groups as the environment can be uncomfortable, and in my experience, the highest quality people use the non-singles groups to meet dating partners in a more natural manner. Just my experience so no offense to those who are active in singles meetup groups. Yeah, I know what you mean...however, I've seen the same faces/people in BOTH singles and non-singles Meetups alike, however....they tend to gravitate towards the non-singles venues. THe Singles related Meetups....well, very few show up, even the speed dating events....people drop out...and it's all of a sudden 2 people at a Speed dating event. Or people don't really stick around to form friendships or appreciate any kind of fellowship/ Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 Stop complaining about OLD women on my thread. I'm a woman, if you didn't notice:laugh: Both men and women are on sites for years, because it's just not easy to find love, if it was easy everyone would be coupled up. It's just stupid to complain in the profile and both genders do it. You're right to an extent. I do think though there are many out there who are on OLD because they're very unstable people. I find it odd for a woman to have an OLD profile for years an can't find a guy. At some point you have to question if the woman is crazy rather than she's not having any luck meeting the right guy. Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 Of course not....why? Because they won't settle!! They could be on a deserted island stranded, and if the guy she's stranded with is under 6 feet tall, she STILL wouldn't let him touch her. What's sad is that these women think they're a great catch. If you're such a great catch then why are you single? Why are men not chasing you? Hmmm... Link to post Share on other sites
Author BluEyeL Posted June 4, 2013 Author Share Posted June 4, 2013 Hey, guys, thanks for your inputs, it was really helpful. If I may ask a moderator to close this thread now, if at all possible. If I have updates or questions, I'll open a new one. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
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