Consolidated discussion - "Leagues"

[JuneJulySeptember]

Well in my world I don't place so much importance on facial "beauty". I have enough for both and it has never served me as well as my numerous other qualities.

 

If I detect a certain superficiality in someone I am dating, or with, it is enough to turn me off completely. Nothing compares to personality.

 

Though maybe I am biased because I feel this body is just a vessel for my spirit.

 

I can't see the whole of your face so I can't judge, but that's just what you think.

 

Every now and then a hot woman posts and says that the reason why she gets so many men is not because of her looks and that it wouldn't matter if she were ugly.

 

If you were ugly, you'd be singing a completely different tune. I guarantee you.

[Mrlonelyone]

Wow, so melodramatic. Must be so cool to be the 2%, even if only self-confessed.

 

Well, gotta get back to to burning ants with a magnifying glass and keeping a score card on how everyone looks.

 

When I see a very beautifl plus sized model walking the VictoriasSecret runway in their televised fashion show I'll think that most people aren't shallow.

 

When I see a hairy old firefighter with a beer gut on the calendar, I'll think that most people aren't shallow.

 

At least most people are shallow at first. There is too much evidence to back that up.

[Imported]

When I see a very beautifl plus sized model walking the VictoriasSecret runway in their televised fashion show I'll think that most people aren't shallow.

 

When I see a hairy old firefighter with a beer gut on the calendar, I'll think that most people aren't shallow.

 

At least most people are shallow at first. There is too much evidence to back that up.

 

Would you think someone posting a computer program on how to judge facial beauty, proclaiming getting a high score and then defending the program as factual when others point out that that program is in fact missing a lot of key elements to be even close to accurate. as vanity and shallowness? Or is that different somehow?

[Mrlonelyone]

Would you think someone posting a computer program on how to judge facial beauty, proclaiming getting a high score and then defending the program as factual when others point out that that program is in fact missing a lot of key elements to be even close to accurate. as vanity and shallowness? Or is that different somehow?

 

Yes it is. If you look through the rest of the thread where I explain it's limitations in great detail, and why I posted it. There are those here who might benefit from a honest and impersonal measure of how they look.

 

I hate to name a name but look at the exchange between me and IT Geek. If I was shallow I would have thought that the rating he posted was a total measure of him as a person. Instead I advised him to pick a mate based on character and how they treat him not looks.

[KungFuJoe]

Yes it is. If you look through the rest of the thread where I explain it's limitations in great detail, and why I posted it. There are those here who might benefit from a honest and impersonal measure of how they look.

 

I hate to name a name but look at the exchange between me and IT Geek. If I was shallow I would have thought that the rating he posted was a total measure of him as a person. Instead I advised him to pick a mate based on character and how they treat him not looks.

 

Why don't you practice what you preach?

[sweetkiwi]

I can't see the whole of your face so I can't judge, but that's just what you think.

 

Every now and then a hot woman posts and says that the reason why she gets so many men is not because of her looks and that it wouldn't matter if she were ugly.

 

If you were ugly, you'd be singing a completely different tune. I guarantee you.

 

Of course its what I think. I was raised to not put precedence on physical beauty. Though both of my patents were models in their youth. I had always felt awkward about my looks. And I had a mother who was completely obsessed with her looks.

 

So even though I can't help how I look I understand how it feels to be perceived as strange or chubby or as a tomboy or as a nerd. I had terrible acne on my back in high school. So as all other girls wore sleeveless shirts I ran between classes with a high backpack while guys yelled "run forest run".

 

Maybe I was never ugly. But I sure did feel like it. Till I realized WTFC!!!???!?

[ScreamingTrees]

Maybe I was never ugly. But I sure did feel like it. Till I realized WTFC!!!???!?

 

No one really does. And in the context of some people's lives, them not caring can feel even worse, that's what I think. People don't have to actively ridicule or discriminate against you for you to know where you stand and how you are generally perceived, or how easy it may be for you to actually leave an impression on another person. Indifference is the "kinder" counterpart to rejection and open disapproval, but it sucks just as bad, if not worse.

[sweetkiwi]

No one really does. And in the context of some people's lives, them not caring can feel even worse, that's what I think. People don't have to actively ridicule or discriminate against you for you to know where you stand and how you are generally perceived, or how easy it may be for you to actually leave an impression on another person. Indifference is the "kinder" counterpart to rejection and open disapproval, but it sucks just as bad, if not worse.

 

Listen I have no idea what you've been through. But I have been rejected every way I can possibly think of. Not only romantically.

 

But romantically I put myself out there a lot more than most people. I hear guys complaining 20 women rejected them. Well they've only asked out 25 in their ENTIRE lives.

 

Basic math people. The more you as the greater your change for success.

 

The main reason I had to grow balls and ask guys out was because I like my men shy. Sweet and shy and preferably bearded. They dont come up to me.

 

The ones who come up to me stare at my tits or ass and ask me what kinda music Im into....... No thanks.

[somedude81]

I've had a few girls tell me that I'm good looking (and more) from seeing pictures of me but of course I still do absolutely horrible with women in real life.

 

All that tells me is that there is a hell of a lot more to leagues than just the face.

[somedude81]

Listen I have no idea what you've been through. But I have been rejected every way I can possibly think of. Not only romantically.

 

But romantically I put myself out there a lot more than most people. I hear guys complaining 20 women rejected them. Well they've only asked out 25 in their ENTIRE lives.

 

Basic math people. The more you as the greater your change for success.

 

The main reason I had to grow balls and ask guys out was because I like my men shy. Sweet and shy and preferably bearded. They dont come up to me.

 

The ones who come up to me stare at my tits or ass and ask me what kinda music Im into....... No thanks.

Ehh, first you blast shy men for only asking out 25 women in their entire lives then you talk about how you prefer shy men?

[Sun Devil]

Somedude81, it could be that you dont know how to talk to girls. I have seen ugly guys with decent girls and I know that it has nothing to do with money. Very few students have lots of money. I am in the same positon as you, I do not know what to say to them. I have the confidence to talk to girls, it is just that I do not know what to say in order to attract them

[Bristolius]

It's questionable when all this data and scientific analysis results in a baseball analogy.

[sweetkiwi]

Ehh, first you blast shy men for only asking out 25 women in their entire lives then you talk about how you prefer shy men?

 

That was not blasting my dear. And believe it or not I was once shy myself. Now look at me. If a dork like me can do it so can they. And at 25 women EVER Thats only once a year at best. Not much.

 

Listen SD on this topic I am your friend. I mean you no harm. I do like the shy sweet boys. And some of them can be quite the romantics once they open up. And have acquired many more partners than I have.

 

Yeah being a chick helps. But I am kinda like your best friends dork sister who grew up over summer. I am still a nerd. But I am hot. Most guys cant get past the first part.

 

We all have our obstacles to overcome while dating.

[FitChick]

Read the fine print on those rate my attractiveness, guess my age types of websites. One essentially made you sign away the rights to your own image and they could sell it or use it in any way they wanted. You could never delete it.

[Ruby Slippers]

Read the fine print on those rate my attractiveness, guess my age types of websites. One essentially made you sign away the rights to your own image and they could sell it or use it in any way they wanted. You could never delete it.

Facebook has the same policy. It's why I never bought into it and ONLY use it for business purposes.

[SOLACEMENT]

The crap people worry about.

[somedude81]

Somedude81, it could be that you dont know how to talk to girls. I have seen ugly guys with decent girls and I know that it has nothing to do with money. Very few students have lots of money. I am in the same positon as you, I do not know what to say to them. I have the confidence to talk to girls, it is just that I do not know what to say in order to attract them

Yes, I've known for a very long time that I don't know how to properly talk to girls. It's just not something that I never figured out.

 

That was not blasting my dear.

I realize that. I'm just extra on edge.

 

Still did you think that the reason some guys have asked out such "small" numbers of women is because they are shy?

 

Also, after getting a rejection, possibly from a girl they really liked, they aren't really bristling with motivation to ask somebody else out. The best one can hope for in such a situation is to become numb to the pain.

 

And believe it or not I was once shy myself. Now look at me. If a dork like me can do it so can they.

Yes but

Yeah being a chick helps.

Being a chick means you aren't even playing the same league. Meaning the difficulty is on a completely different level. It's absolutely insane how hard it is to attract a woman for the guys who aren't blessed with the looks department or actually have game.

 

I basically feel like I'm stuck in a professional soccer league where I don't even understand the rules of the game and I'm missing a leg so I have to hop around.

 

Then I look at the female dating game and they might as well be grown women playing against children because it's so easy.

 

Yes I'm generalizing. But I'm bitter remember?

 

And at 25 women EVER Thats only once a year at best. Not much.

I'm 31 years old. Got interested in girls at 13, so I've been trying to date for 18 years. So that's 1.39 girls a year. Yeah that's not much more than 1 girl a year

 

Though there are years where I'm completely bummed about dating and don't ask anybody out and there are times where I ask out five girls in five months.

 

The main key about my low numbers, is that I never ask out random/strange women. It's always girls I know that I've talked to several times a week. If I just walked up to a girl and asked her out and she rejected me, I wouldn't be bothered that much because she doesn't know anything about me and is only going by my looks and sales pitch. But when it's from a girl that I interacted with on a regular basis, I know she's turning me down.

 

Yeah I could ask out 20 random girls this week, but it would be meaningless. And also have no chance of success.

Listen SD on this topic I am your friend. I mean you no harm. I do like the shy sweet boys. And some of them can be quite the romantics once they open up. And have acquired many more partners than I have.

I really wish more girls would actually give guys a chance. It kills me that I've never actually been given the opportunity to see if I can be a good boyfriend or lover. Women just tell me no before I can even get the interview.

 

I'm sorry if I came off as harsh. Being in so much pain, it's just the natural reaction for me now.

 

But I am kinda like your best friends dork sister who grew up over summer. I am still a nerd. But I am hot. Most guys cant get past the first part.

Is being a dorky girl really that much of a set-back? Or is it more about the type of men you're trying to attract?

 

Seems to me the vast majority of shy/nerdy guys would love a nerdy girl, especially one that is hot. You might as well be their perfect woman.

 

I used to have an absolutely huge crush on a dorky girl, I didn't see her being a geeky as a bad thing at all, it was one of the main things that attracted me to her. But she had issues so nothing ever happened, though even if she didn't, I don't know if she could have ever been attracted to me, I always had a feeling she'd be after more stereotypical attractive men even though she was a nerd.

[sweetkiwi]

One thing I see in common with people who have little to no dating success is an overall defeatist attitude. You are set up perfectly for failure SD. You believe in your failure more than you believe in yourself.

 

And let the record show I PMed you, you wrote back one and stopped responding. That's an opportunity to talk to a real live hot chick, though a strange one indeed.

 

And I am not a proper dork. Or anything really. I am covered in tattoos and can probably spit further than you and give you a knuckle sandwich. But I also always have my nails done and know how to use silverwear.

 

There are very few people who naturally fit into any of these "types" we put ourselves in. There is only you, what you can do with it, and everyone else.

 

But of course if you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got.

[KungFuJoe]

somedude,

 

Do you think your problem is looks or inability to talk to women?

[sweetkiwi]

somedude,

 

Do you think your problem is looks or inability to talk to women?

 

Both. Yet both can be overcome.

 

What cannot be overcome is no desire to overcome. I realize I should like a brat. And I have no idea how difficult it is to never have a relationship.

 

But we all have things to overcome in this life. Do you want to trade your inability to talk to women with my illegal immigrant status? Or would you rather have your neighbors genital warts?

 

Sheet sucks a little for everyone.

[somedude81]

One thing I see in common with people who have little to no dating success is an overall defeatist attitude. You are set up perfectly for failure SD. You believe in your failure more than you believe in yourself.

What is there for me to believe in?

 

My entire life women have told me that I'm not good enough. How can I possibly have a positive attitude? Frankly I think it's amazing that I haven't killed myself yet. I still have a tiny bit of hope, and that is what keeps me going.

 

And let the record show I PMed you, you wrote back one and stopped responding. That's an opportunity to talk to a real live hot chick, though a strange one indeed.

I've had quite a few PM conversations with different women on this forum. They never go anywhere and don't feel that real.

 

Also our PM conversation was motivated by negative feelings and I really didn't want to bitch and moan over PM.

And I am not a proper dork. Or anything really. I am covered in tattoos and can probably spit further than you and give you a knuckle sandwich. But I also always have my nails done and know how to use silverwear.

Heh, you're like a variety special.

 

There are very few people who naturally fit into any of these "types" we put ourselves in. There is only you, what you can do with it, and everyone else.

 

But of course if you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got.

I try new things all the time. I'm always changing up my approach with women, and it still fails every time.

 

In the end, no matter what I do, they are still rejecting who I am.

[somedude81]

somedude,

 

Do you think your problem is looks or inability to talk to women?

Both.

 

I look primarily white and am only 5'6. My face and body is average. My height is a big handicap.

 

Add to that me not knowing how to talk to a woman in a way that makes them want to be anything other than my friend and you end up with a 31 year old guy who has never had a GF.

 

Just to make things even more screwed up, throw in some depression, which only gets worse with my failures and you got a recipe for disaster. I just have too many negatives going on for me that I'm not able to overcome no matter how much I struggle.

[Mrlonelyone]

I try new things all the time. I'm always changing up my approach with women, and it still fails every time.

 

In the end, no matter what I do, they are still rejecting who I am.

 

That is so truly sad it made me. http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lx8pmuXNUq1qi8jcb.jpg

a single tear.

 

You need a big hug, a mug of hot chocolate, and a series of long talks with a professional councilor. Then you really are in need of love.

[ThaWholigan]

Both.

 

I look primarily white and am only 5'6. My face and body is average. My height is a big handicap.

 

Add to that me not knowing how to talk to a woman in a way that makes them want to be anything other than my friend and you end up with a 31 year old guy who has never had a GF.

 

Just to make things even more screwed up, throw in some depression, which only gets worse with my failures and you got a recipe for disaster. I just have too many negatives going on for me that I'm not able to overcome no matter how much I struggle.

You just need some help. Dare I say it......you need friends. Good people around you to give you support. Your only real support at the moment is us - and we can't be at your side coaching you through the troubles in real life unfortunately.

[somedude81]

That is so truly sad it made me. http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lx8pmuXNUq1qi8jcb.jpg

a single tear.

 

You need a big hug, a mug of hot chocolate, and a series of long talks with a professional councilor. Then you really are in need of love.

I'd prefer a BJ and to grab a nice pair of boobs, but I guess a hug will do.

 

Hot chocolate sounds good and I'm going to make some now.