Why do older guys go for the much younger girl?

[Disenchantedly Yours]

 

I'd take any sexy 18 year old any time!! I got a couple some time ago . ordered them from some escort agency and we had a great time. actually she was 19.

So hot and so beautiful.

 

You had a great time. She was just doing her job and making money.

[dasein]

Yes, you did blame women.

 

No, what I said was that people who don't know what it's like to approach women on a regular basis have no business at all dictating to those who do whom they can and can't approach. Move along.

 

Yes, men certainly DID die for peace. And they aren’t on the internet posting here about the Titanic.

 

Poster made the general claim about men, that men don't care about women, what they want, what's good for them. My response refuted such a statement, historically, and extending up to and through the present day, and has -nothing- to do with whether bombs are exploding outside your or my windows right this minute, or whether the Titanic is sinking somewhere down the road.

 

Really? Do share how I have control over how “that scenario plays out on my home turf.”

 

Within the context of this thread, if a man you think is too old approaches you, just say "no." Or you could cringe with disgust and revulsion and make a big drama party of it. If you choose the latter, it's on -you-, not -me-.

 

They really don’t. No one has a “right” to approach anyone. They certainly have the freedom to do that. But it is not a justifiable “right”.

 

Yes, they do, and yes, it is a -right-, a very important one. Read the First Amendment. It applies to women too.

 

Not surprised. Of course you won’t comment. Because you know I am right.

 

You have a right to rant and rave all you want, it's what this place is for, and I hope it helps you. But I'm not getting into a flame war with you, and those passages are inflammatory. Insert whatever insults or flaming you like in lieu of "No comment" if it makes you feel better, or simply insert "I'm not playing that game with you." Learn to take a hint.

[Oxy Moronovich]

Sorry for the rant but I am so sick and tired of hearing men tell us how worthless women are.

I've seen the way you post and you're always gravitating toward negativity. You see something negative posted about women and overreact. Only a few men here--mostly trolls--have stated women are worthless. The vast majority of men have stated positive things. Yet you seem to overlook the positive posts and let yourself get bent out of shape over the few negative posts and act as if the negative posts represent the feelings of all men. That's not cool.

[danny in van]

as one guy said- if older guys rarely or never get with younger girls- as lots here want to insist- then we're good! There's nothing to debate if it rarely happens! And if some are indignant that they try, well don't be cuz you seem convinced that they never succeed. Perfect. No threat, no worries.

And if young girls do it for the $, then what's it to you if that's the case?

And if older men ignore your online 'requirements' about age, well I'm sure that's hugely inconvenient, but just hit delete.

 

As to why do they try? Do you really need that explained?

[dasein]

Missed this:

 

Question:

 

Amongst LS'ers, who is or has family members who are/have been married 32 (using my parents as an example) or more years?

 

Parents married 49 years, both in 70s within one year in age of each other.

[carhill]

Mine have been married 48 years. My dad's sisters have been married more than 50.

 

It does seem to be unusual these days.

 

Parents married 49 years, both in 70s within one year in age of each other.

Congrats. My parents were lifers but cancer intervened. An interesting aside is that, unlike the cancer which struck down my father, a number of my male friends have now survived cancer, heart attacks, etc, due to improvements in medical technology; perhaps men will generally be living longer in the future, altering somewhat the dynamic of the past where men generally (like my father) died off before their wives/partners.

 

Myself, all my partners and my exW were 'older' women, ranging from a couple months for my exW to about nine years for one past LTR. TBH, I never really considered their age as relevant to feelings, attraction or perceived compatibility. They were people to me.

Edited March 28, 2012 by carhill

[Anela]

Is this not the same attitude that young women have about men...? My counter to all of this nonsense is that older women had their chance to be the "superior beings" in their younger years and do as they pleased with men...either they took advantage of it and still think they're entitled to the same treatment and attention many years later...or they missed the train and grow resentful...

 

Oh, what would you know? And it shouldn't have anything to do with missing a train when it comes to a little something called love.

 

I was dealing with issues that I had, anxiety issues, trying to sort myself out so that I would be able to interact in a healthy manner, and hopefully attract a healthy individual who was also a good match for me.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

No, what I said was that people who don't know what it's like to approach women on a regular basis have no business at all dictating to those who do whom they can and can't approach. Move along.

 

You didn’t say “people”. You said “women”. And you told them that they should approach. Although I fail to see how that changes what men really want. And you have yet to answer that while you proceed to talk in circles and change the language you used in your original post.

 

Poster made the general claim about men, that men don't care about women, what they want, what's good for them. My response refuted such a statement, historically, and extending up to and through the present day, and has -nothing- to do with whether bombs are exploding outside your or my windows right this minute, or whether the Titanic is sinking somewhere down the road.

 

Do you forget that you are the one that brought up Titanic to make your point? By the way, men don’t much care about women or what they want or what is good for them. Men care about themselves first. That’s just the reality.

 

Within the context of this thread, if a man you think is too old approaches you, just say "no." Or you could cringe with disgust and revulsion and make a big drama party of it. If you choose the latter, it's on -you-, not -me-.

 

Try reading my post. I said when I online dated and older men would message me I would tell them I was not interested and why. Since they were clearly out of my age range. When older men approach me in public, I decline.

 

I thought you were actually going to give me good advice. This is actually a ridiculous response in connection to what we were talking about. I never said my responses where on you.

 

 

Yes, they do, and yes, it is a -right-, a very important one. Read the First Amendment. It applies to women too.

 

OMG, the First Amendment applies to women too???? You just so smart.

 

Does someone have the right to call someone else a name? No. They have the freedom to do so but it is not a “right”. No one has a “right” to approach someone else and say what pleases them. I don't have the "right" to go up to someone with a big nose and make a comment. I have the freedom to do it but not a 'right" to do it. There is no such thing as “your right to approach other people or say whatever you want.” And I hate when people pull the First Amendment bullcrap and think it justifies and excuses everything.

 

u have a right to rant and rave all you want, it's what this place is for, and I hope it helps you. But I'm not getting into a flame war with you, and those passages are inflammatory. Insert whatever insults or flaming you like in lieu of "No comment" if it makes you feel better, or simply insert "I'm not playing that game with you." Learn to take a hint.

 

My passages where honest. You braged about the age of a girl that "chased" you. You called, what you clearly preceived to be your "competition".."little boys". You took pride in the fact that a young woman wanted you. As if just because a girl is 23, she is a prize. And now you ignore this because you can't respond to it. NOt because you don't want to get into with me or because your taking the "high road". But because you know I am right.

[january2011]

My parents managed 40+ years before they separated. Then dad passed and they never officially got divorced.

 

Their marriage was rocky and they stayed together for their children.

 

Until they separated, my takeaway from that was that you stay together no matter what because that's what marriage means. After they separated, I didn't know what to think, even though I agreed that it was probably a good idea for a number of different reasons. I still don't know what to think because in my heart of hearts I can't shake the hope that if I marry then it will be for life - no matter how low the statistical probability in this day and age.

 

In terms of guys living longer, then scientists would have to find a way to help men overcome biology. A former genetics lecturer taught me that due to the way that inheritance works, men tend to be sufferers and women tend to be carriers when it comes to maladies that strike down humans.

[udolipixie]

Despite failing miserably at giving women "what they want," whatever nebulous thing that may be, how often it may change with the shifting winds, and despite the fact that most of you don't know what you want yourselves, we do pretty well in the "keeping you alive and safe department."

More like the specific wo/men in the government, police, and army do well enough to some in keeping both men and women safe and alive. However if you're going to apply the actions of a set of particular men to the whole/general male population do you do the same with men who rape/harass/abuse women too?

 

I am highly amused by the beginning women don't know what they want, don't listen to what women say they don't even know themselves, and women are always changing flimsy fickle creature cliche.

 

How that is separate or even divisible somehow from "caring about women as human beings" is beyond me. I've heard quite enough "do more for women, care more for women" in my days for several lifetimes.

It's separate because those people women and men do such things to protect and serve the country and it's citizens. It's not all or mainly for women's benefit stemming from men's care about women.

 

No, when considering the absurdity "protecting women's lives and safety is merely the equivalent of protecting their vaginas, and is somehow divisible from 'caring about women as human beings'" I don't "care to cite evidence."

You gave the Titanic situation of children & women first as how men laying down their lives for women.

 

To me that's a scenario involving life/death and those scenarios tend to proritize people in accordance of their importance to humanity. So children (future) and women (nurturers/babymakers) doesn't seem to be men lay down their lives for more like men lay down their lives for humanity continuation

 

There's no absurdity in suggesting that scenario is not caring about protecting women as human beings but rather protecting humanity and women have a vagina to bear it and children are the members of the future generation. That's a strategic move based on commodity prioritization to me.

 

I wasn't expecting any citations as in another thread you commented that there was not one single female commenter disagreeing with an article yet there were quite a few.

 

I was just amused and intrigued by your definitive statement that suggested this was the norm/status quoa of mens behavior.

Edited March 28, 2012 by udolipixie

[Anela]

Tomorrow I'm buying an entire truckload of PEPSI. I will then dump each can of PEPSI down the toilet. PEPSI sucks

 

If you really feel that way, then you might not want to buy it, thereby giving them a lot of money, and having them think that you actually love their product. Just buy drinks from their competitors instead.

 

Did it take you very long to come up with the idea of focusing on pepsi, and nothing else? Are you from sosuave and hoping beyond hope to disrupt things here? I really don't see the point.

[Anela]

Plenty of older women get married and have men interested in them everyday. Why get mad at a few people on the internet. They have the right to their preferences. I can get mad at women who would reject a good man over a few inches but that would be pointless so be glad these men have weeded themselves out of your dating pool.

 

A few months ago, I read an article written by a woman who was described as writing a book about women over 35 who got married - like it's so rare, that they'd found Bigfoot, or something.

[Anela]

HERE"S THE REAL ANSWER. All you guys just keep babbling about nothing.

The real answer is this:

 

 

OLDER GUYS GO FOR MUCH YOUNGER Girls because MUCH YOUNGER GIRLS ARE SEXY.

 

That's all there is to it.

 

I'd take any sexy 18 year old any time!! I got a couple some time ago . ordered them from some escort agency and we had a great time. actually she was 19.

So hot and so beautiful.

 

That's really sad.

[dasein]

You didn’t say “people”. You said “women”. And you told them that they should approach.

 

For that matter men who don't approach women have no business telling men who do whom they can and can't approach. Whether I used "people" or "women" the intent was quite clear. Stop nitpicking. No one who doesn't regularly approach women, has any business dictating whom one may or may not approach. And you know what, it's irrelevant in the end, NO ONE AT ALL has any business -whatsoever- telling anyone whom they can or can't approach. There, that clear enough for you?

 

And no, as much as you would like it to, the written device, "Until women do this or that," is not -telling- them to do anything, nor is it laying -blame- on them, but rather stating that people who don't engage in an activity generally have no right to attribute wrong to those who do unless the people in question are doing something illegal. Despite how much you and red robin want to find something "wrong" in older men approaching younger women in and of itself, it's a nonstarter. Keep beating the dead horse some more.

 

Do you forget that you are the one that brought up Titanic to make your point?

 

No, I didn't forget, and the particular example is irrelevant. Men have died protecting women for thousands of years, do so today, and will in all likelihood, continue to do so. If you want to offer any rational reasons why they will not continue to do so besides "men are bad," feel free. Historical fact is on my side. Or keep on beating -this- particular dead horse.

 

Try reading my post. I said when I online dated and older men would message me I would tell them I was not interested and why. Since they were clearly out of my age range. When older men approach me in public, I decline.

 

Good for you.

 

OMG, the First Amendment applies to women too???? You just so smart.

 

I'm not the one who said that approaching people is not a right.

 

Does someone have the right to call someone else a name? No. They have the freedom to do so but it is not a “right”. No one has a “right” to approach someone else and say what pleases them. I don't have the "right" to go up to someone with a big nose and make a comment. I have the freedom to do it but not a 'right" to do it. There is no such thing as “your right to approach other people or say whatever you want.” And I hate when people pull the First Amendment bullcrap and think it justifies and excuses everything.

 

It's a right. Certain kinds of speech are regulated, approaching strangers in a non-threatening way is not one. The First Amendment is not "bullcrap," and I bet you don't want to hear that men died to obtain that precious right for you, but they did. Value the rights others won for you, whether they are applied in ways you don't like by others or not, or don't and lose them forever.

 

I shouldn't have to be conducting a civics lesson in this thread.

 

My passages where honest. You braged about the age of a girl that "chased" you. You called, what you clearly preceived to be your "competition".."little boys". You took pride in the fact that a young woman wanted you. As if just because a girl is 23, she is a prize. And now you ignore this because you can't respond to it. NOt because you don't want to get into with me or because your taking the "high road". But because you know I am right.

 

Take that as a brag if you like, it wasn't, but so what if it was? Am I supposed to feel bad for something? Your pitiful ranting at me supposed to make me feel chastised? Sorry, I don't. The men (I believe I said better looking ones... so swirls your brag theory around the toilet bowl) trying to get with her lost because they were acting and dressed immaturely, behaving like little boys. If you have even bothered to read this entire thread, you will know that 1) whether younger women are actually attracted to older men or whether it's just a figment of our imagination has been discussed, and 2) whether women in fact tend to stick with their own age or not has been discussed. I was not the first one in the thread to raise those issues. I offered an anecdote from my personal experience that addresses both of them and that's that.

 

Moar dead horse, will it never end?

[PlumPrincess]

I just started recently on the dating sites. What I am finding the most frustrating is the guys on there who are my age (38) wont even have a look at me - they all want the 20yr olds. BTW I dont look my age in the least bit - I could pass for late 20's early 30's. On that note too - I get like 50yr old & 60yr old men messaging me!!! Really!! Why would I want to go out with someone who could be my father? Its just so frustrating - what goes through your guys minds? Do you really think you have a chance? I am in in no way looking for a sugar daddy - I just want to meet someone close to my age (I would entertain 6-7 years older or younger than me) I just wanted some insight as I am new to the online dating world after being recently divorced after 17yrs of marriage.

I think a lot of guys on dating websites are deluded dolts. I don't know, I really hope so, because if these were the real beliefs of the majority of men, it would be quite frustrating.

[Jane2011]

I can't imagine being 35, 36, 37, 38 (female or male) and wanting to date a 20 year old. It just makes no sense to me. I can see wanting a bit younger, but 20?

 

A male friend of mine who is 34 started dating a 19 year old about two years ago. They lasted for approximately 8 months (but he tells me the relationship was dysfunctional and abusive for most of that). She eventually started teasing him, saying he was a "pedophile" for dating her.

 

That was pretty cold of her. Date an older guy, then call him a pedophile for dating you. She broke up with him because she was hung up on her ex.

 

Also, their social life was messed up because she never wanted to do things with his friends (who were older), and he was unfit to hang at her young social events.

 

They looked reasonably good together because he looked young, and she looked old enough to be his girlfriend. But the 34 year old mentality/sensibility vs. the 19 year old mentality/sensibility -- not a match.

 

I think 35 year olds can have short-lived flings with 20 year-olds, but trying to have a relationship? Rather foolish, I think.

[pennycoco21]

Lie about your age

[quietGuy13]

I can't imagine being 35, 36, 37, 38 (female or male) and wanting to date a 20 year old. It just makes no sense to me. I can see wanting a bit younger, but 20?

 

That's cause you've been molded to think it's weird. In other places/countries, they dont' think it's weird.

 

Why you defend gay marriage and yet think dating older is stupid?

why you defend women having children at later age(40's 50's) and yet you think older man dating young girls is stupid?

 

If something doesn't make sense to you, fine but if gays have rights to like who they like, i and many old guys can like young girls. so what?

[Jane2011]

That's cause you've been molded to think it's weird. In other places/countries, they dont' think it's weird.

 

Why you defend gay marriage and yet think dating older is stupid?

why you defend women having children at later age(40's 50's) and yet you think older man dating young girls is stupid?

 

If something doesn't make sense to you, fine but if gays have rights to like who they like, i and many old guys can like young girls. so what?

 

I didn't say it was stupid or wrong; I just think that most of the time, a 35 year old and a 20 year old don't have a lot in common, or they're on different mental wave-lengths. There might be a lot of men on dating sites who are 35 or 36 messaging girls in their early 20s, but you see very few couples in which a guy is 36 and his girlfriend is 20. There's probably a reason for that. They don't really click mentally, sensibilities-wise, and emotionally.

 

And I didn't say people don't have a right to like who they like. I think people should absolutely pursue who they want. It just doesn't work very often, from what I've seen. If it's not the young girl deciding the older guy just isn't right for her, often it's just the opposite. I've heard from some male friends, too, that they dated someone a lot younger but could do it for only so long because the lack of compatibility became apparent very quickly.

 

I don't care if you like young girls, or if men in general do. Do what you want. I couldn't care less!

[udolipixie]

If something doesn't make sense to you, fine but if gays have rights to like who they like, i and many old guys can like young girls. so what?

The so what seems to be on you taking issue with that she finds it weird and ASSuming about why she does.

[Jane2011]

That's cause you've been molded to think it's weird. In other places/countries, they dont' think it's weird.

 

Why you defend gay marriage and yet think dating older is stupid?

why you defend women having children at later age(40's 50's) and yet you think older man dating young girls is stupid?

 

If something doesn't make sense to you, fine but if gays have rights to like who they like, i and many old guys can like young girls. so what?

 

The other reason, by the way, is that I often see older guys get burned when they are with a young girl. That's why I'm apt to shake my head when guys go for younger women, who are 10-15 years younger, especially when the girl falls right around 18, 19, 20, or 21. It's different if a 40 year old dates a 27 year old.

 

Young girls are extremely effusive about their love. They're all over their Facebooks with "I love you!" and "Out with the love of my life tonight!" "With the man of my dreams...!"

 

Usually they break up quickly. I'm always amused by the irony of just how effusive they are in public and how quickly they move on to some other guy.

[dasein]

More like the specific wo/men in the government, police, and army do well enough to some in keeping both men and women safe and alive.

 

No. Lowered physical standards for women in those areas creates undue risk that we are all expected to shoulder in the name of political expediency and the illusory quest for equal outcome.

 

However if you're going to apply the actions of a set of particular men to the whole/general male population do you do the same with men who rape/harass/abuse women too?

 

A very large percentage of men put the safety and welfare of women above their own, a very tiny percentage of men are violent criminals. So in proper context, sure, we can go there.

 

I am highly amused by the beginning women don't know what they want, don't listen to what women say they don't even know themselves, and women are always changing flimsy fickle creature cliche.

 

It's a fact. It's why despite modern Western women being the most privileged creatures in the history of the human species, so many of them are miserable, a large percentage so miserable that they have to be strongly medicated with mind altering drugs for their misery. If that doesn't apply to you, good for you.

 

The most dreaded words a man can hear from a woman today IMO and IME are "things are going so well for us, I've stopped taking my SSRIs!"

 

It's separate because those people women and men do such things to protect and serve the country and it's citizens. It's not all or mainly for women's benefit stemming from men's care about women.

 

Keep trying to wedge that PC "women and men" in there. It may be true one day, it's not today. Any casualty of war is a hero, will leave it at that.

 

And whether it's dying in war, going downstairs with a bat or gun when there's a bump in the night, holding an umbrella over a woman's head so she remains dry while the man gets wet, operating heavy dangerous machinery around the house or getting on the roof, helping bring in groceries, letting her have the last empty seat at the bar while one stands, yadda yadda, the vast majority of men still hold the welfare and safety of women higher than their own.

 

I know though, it's never ever enough, and never will be, right? We get that cultural message -loud and clear- and have for 50 someodd years. you ever read that old fable about "crying wolf?"

 

When the answer to the question "what do you want" is always "more," well, that gets tiresome, eventually wears thin, and then wears -out-. We are getting to "worn out" very quickly.

 

You gave the Titanic situation of children & women first as how men laying down their lives for women.

 

To me that's a scenario involving life/death and those scenarios tend to proritize people in accordance of their importance to humanity. So children (future) and women (nurturers/babymakers) doesn't seem to be men lay down their lives for more like men lay down their lives for humanity continuation

 

To me, that's a gigantic rationalization, and an obnoxious one to make when someone is giving up their seat on a lifeboat, and has been giving up that seat metaphorically for thousands of years, so will stick with what I have previously posted.

 

That's a strategic move based on commodity prioritization to me.

 

That reads really privileged, bratty and ungrateful right about now to me. When the chips are down, there's little time for game theory.

 

I wasn't expecting any citations as in another thread you commented that there was not one single female commenter disagreeing with an article yet there were quite a few.

 

Ah so we are thread-hopping now? Ok.

 

I said I didn't -see- any (you know the difference between that and "not any" right?), and didn't dig past the second page of comments admittedly. As TBQ aptly pointed out in that thread, the comments about the article here on this forum were telling enough to prove my point handily.

[somedude81]

Because we didn't get the young girls when we were young ourselves. At least it's that way for me.

 

If I got a 20 year old GF when I was 20 and later married her, I would have a 30 year old wife right now. But since I didn't get her, I'm still trying to get her.

 

It feels like a game of catch-up. For some reason I feel that I need to hit certain milestones. That's why at 30, I have the knowingly creepy desire of wanting to have sex with a teenager (18-19), simply because I didn't get to when I was that age.

[Chicago_Guy]

I just started recently on the dating sites. What I am finding the most frustrating is the guys on there who are my age (38) wont even have a look at me - they all want the 20yr olds. BTW I dont look my age in the least bit - I could pass for late 20's early 30's. On that note too - I get like 50yr old & 60yr old men messaging me!!! Really!! Why would I want to go out with someone who could be my father? Its just so frustrating - what goes through your guys minds? Do you really think you have a chance? I am in in no way looking for a sugar daddy - I just want to meet someone close to my age (I would entertain 6-7 years older or younger than me) I just wanted some insight as I am new to the online dating world after being recently divorced after 17yrs of marriage.

 

Attractive 38-year-old men often do want younger women, although I doubt that many of those men only want to date a 20 year old - I think they would be fine with late 20s-early 30s.

 

I haven't read all the responses to your post, but I have to say that the fact that you are divorced is going to be a negative for a lot of men, especially the type of men looking to settle down.

[Chicago_Guy]

Men who date much younger girls do so because they are insecure. Younger women are much easier to impress and have lower expectations than women with more age and experience.

 

Steer clear of them.

 

Is this a joke or a troll? What you wrote is another way of saying "Younger women are nicer and more appreciative than older ones."