kaylan Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 (edited) Emphasis added on the key words... You can also check out surveys on this. Again, define "common". Ive rarely seen couples with obvious age discrepancies out in public in my 25 years of life...so either people just hide these relationships, or they arent happening with the frequency that folks online would like us to believe. As I said before having an age preference and actually being able to get that younger chick are two different things. People need to realize that when it comes to online dating, everyone gets ore picky and ultimately cause themselves to stay single. Edited March 28, 2012 by kaylan 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dasein Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 I think a better question is not... why older men are attracted to younger women... but why they think they are entitled to such and that it is ok to hit on them. Until women start being more proactive in approaching men they find desirable, and forestall men having to play infinite "guessing games," constantly undertaking the risk of rejection, and putting ourselves out there, we will hit on and approach whomever we want to. That "OK" with you? For many reasons, I think that men are socialized not to give a crap about what women want or is good for them. Bounce that theory off the men ushering women and children onto the lifeboats on the Titanic, or off someone who lost a family member in a war. Get back to us. Men are socialized to lay down their very lives for women, and this has been the case for thousands of years. As far as things other than life, physical safety and basic needs, we may not know "what women want" or "what is good for you" but then again neither do you. When my much older male friend misunderstood my sadness at his leaving the company we both worked at as something romantic, I was insulted and disgusted. A man misunderstood your interest as romantic. He made a mistake. That's entirely normal. Happens every day. A response of feeling insulted and disgusted is -not- normal though. How dare he develop feelings for you? At some level, it just felt incestuous... I would never hit on a man that much younger than me.. It just feels so predatory. Expressing physical attraction to another human being of legal age whom one might legally marry does not merit the terms "incest" or "predatory." but, for some reason, it is A-OK for them. Not sure why they can't just be ok being mentors and friends. It's not to you to dictate the legitimacy of feelings someone may or may not develop. If someone expresses feelings for you and they aren't returned, simply move on. It's just not that big a deal. It's crossing a line to act on it though. That's not a line you get to dictate, other than in your acceptance or rejection of their attention. That's where I feel the guys doing OLD are messed up when they hit on women who are out of there posted age range. And I'll add, that is one positive thing about OLD. You can see where their head is at regarding age and take measures to avoid them. Superficial? Yes, provided it's a requirement and not an expectation. Messed up though? No more than a 5' woman who will only date a 6' man, or a man who makes more money than she does is "messed up." It is only in men's minds that younger women are willing. They see one example or a handful of examples and seize on it with a death grip... never mind how uncommon it is and how grossed out we are by their unwanted attention. Once more, it is a matter of experience, not some chest-puffing exercise men concocted on the internet to piss women off. I prefer to date women closer to my own age. However, when I was 28, I was covered up with 18-20 y.o. women coming onto me, bedded -many- of them. Today, I get much more proactivity from younger women and flirtatious response than from women my own age. The third significant GF back was 23 to my 32 at the time the one after that was 30 to my 34. Recent ex was my exact age. The 23 y.o.chased me from day one, and had her pick of a whole roomful of better looking younger men than me the night we met. Just worked out that they all had sideways hats on and jeans hanging half down their ass pounding jaeger, while I had on a nice sportsjacket and drinking a scotch. Actually, on reflection, those little boys didn't have a chance. My friends are all similar. The one I know who has banged the most young women (50-100 at least 10 years younger than him) now dates a woman ten years older than he is. Imagine that. Link to post Share on other sites
g450 Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 OK Ill add my two cents: Sometimes its simply what is out there dating and what is available. Im 50 and my fiancee is 40. Which is fine for me but when I was dating I did not find many women in my age group. The ones that said they were 50 were in actuallity more like 60 years old and lying about their age. Although I prefered my own age group I would take a 40 over a 60 year old in a heart beat. 60 is just a tad too old for me even though I am more attracted to more mature women. Although there are some really fantastic looking 60 year olds out there. Unfortunately we men are visual creatures and are a bit shallow in that dept. Im just being honest. But if she is 60 but acts like a 20 year old (in the good way) then I would jump. With that said, I would not date any girls younger than say 35. Too me the young ones are looking for a sugar daddy and nothing more. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 I agree. Pepsi does suck. Besides, everytime someone buys a Coca-Cola, some % goes to my alma-mater. Yep, the founders of Coca-Cola endowed my alma-mater with stocks in the company many many years ago. It is now one of the top 5 uni's in the country. So drink more Coke... Link to post Share on other sites
g450 Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Being a sugar daddy is enough payoff. Some of them just want enough extra change to pay their rent. The thing about younger women is many of them have the idea that a few extra hundred is a lot of money. Nope. There are a crapload of women over 30 who are in financial straits. I do not know how this can be denied. 30? Hell I know a ton of 40 year old women who cant even pay their bills sad to say LOL. Link to post Share on other sites
udolipixie Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Bounce that theory off the men ushering women and children onto the lifeboats on the Titanic, or off someone who lost a family member in a war. Get back to us. I highly doubt that was about caring about women as human beings and rather more about the future of humanity (children) and the nurturers/babymakers (women). Men are socialized to lay down their very lives for women, and this has been the case for thousands of years. :lmao: Egh...I have yet to see this socialization in the sense of laying down for women not laying down for vaginas that will bear children. Care to cite evidence for this definitive statement? I have seen the socialization that men are expected to lay down their lives for the greater good, humanity, peace, their country, honor, courage, valor, etc. The closest thing to socialization of men laying down their lives to my experience has been about ensuring their would be a future generation born not really women as human beings. Link to post Share on other sites
dasein Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Most arent. Girls my age tell me they are creeped out by the messages from dude outside their age range. lolz Seriously, man, I prefer women closer to my own age, always have, but it's a fact that MANY younger women like being with older men, and that fact bears out IME time and time again. I have no reason whatsoever to lie on here. Do you think anyone's opinion of me here matters? Have you read my posts? You were in HS a few years back, were the cream of the crop women dating freshmen and sophmores or juniors and seniors? Were the senior women dating down in age? Or were they already going to college age parties? Same for college throughout. Have you seen any of the dozens or hundreds of "I love my boss, I f-cked my boss, I cheated on my BF with my boss" threads here? I have. Are the dozens and hundreds of women who say here in many threads that they like older men simply lying? Why would they? Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Define older in this thread...a 17 yr older senior going to college parties with 18 and 19 year old underclassman who cant get into bars does not qualify as older to me. Also, all the girls I knew in college who were 18 to 25, dated guys in that range. Anyone outside of their mid 20s who was seen in the bars was considered old and creepy by all the women. Link to post Share on other sites
dasein Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 I highly doubt that was about caring about women as human beings and rather more about the future of humanity (children) and the nurturers/babymakers (women). Despite failing miserably at giving women "what they want," whatever nebulous thing that may be, how often it may change with the shifting winds, and despite the fact that most of you don't know what you want yourselves, we do pretty well in the "keeping you alive and safe department." How that is separate or even divisible somehow from "caring about women as human beings" is beyond me. I've heard quite enough "do more for women, care more for women" in my days for several lifetimes. Egh...I have yet to see this socialization in the sense of laying down for women not laying down for vaginas that will bear children. Care to cite evidence for this definitive statement? No, when considering the absurdity "protecting women's lives and safety is merely the equivalent of protecting their vaginas, and is somehow divisible from 'caring about women as human beings'" I don't "care to cite evidence." Link to post Share on other sites
dasein Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Define older in this thread... It scales with age. A 2 year age gap is pretty significant in HS, same in college, and expands thereafter to 7-8 years. When many women get ready to settle and have kids, and even before, as it colors their sexual behavior from a young age, they are looking for resources first, genes second, age last. Sure there are exceptions, talking generally here. Link to post Share on other sites
Oxy Moronovich Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 30? Hell I know a ton of 40 year old women who cant even pay their bills sad to say LOL. Same here, actually. Seriously, man, I prefer women closer to my own age, always have, but it's a fact that MANY younger women like being with older men, and that fact bears out IME time and time again. I have no reason whatsoever to lie on here. Do you think anyone's opinion of me here matters? Have you read my posts? You were in HS a few years back, were the cream of the crop women dating freshmen and sophmores or juniors and seniors? Were the senior women dating down in age? Or were they already going to college age parties? Same for college throughout. Have you seen any of the dozens or hundreds of "I love my boss, I f-cked my boss, I cheated on my BF with my boss" threads here? I have. Are the dozens and hundreds of women who say here in many threads that they like older men simply lying? Why would they? People say one thing and do another. How many people have said, "I would never committ adultery" and ended up doing it? How many people have said, "I would never stay with a person who cheats on me" and ended up doing it? How many people have said, "I would never sell my body for sex" and ended up doing it? How many people have said, "I would never stay in an abusive relationship" and ended up doing it? How about the women who voluntarily got into a relationship with a much older man? I wouldn't be surprised if they all had once said, "I would never date a much older man." Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Eh...o wells guys...im just commenting on what Ive seen in my peer group since I starting dating. Most of us have stuck to our age. Link to post Share on other sites
dasein Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 How about the women who voluntarily got into a relationship with a much older man? I wouldn't be surprised if they all had once said, "I would never date a much older man." One thing I've learned about women, which is applicable to men too, is watch what they do, not what they say. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dasein Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Eh...o wells guys...im just commenting on what Ive seen in my peer group since I starting dating. Most of us have stuck to our age. I wish I could stick to my age and have the kind of options I want. Young women are always wanting to do things I've enough of in life, like go to loud arena music shows, stay out way late even all night, go out four nights a week. It's not so much an energy drag, but a been there done that 1000 times drag. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 my father was six years older than my mother when they got married. 32 years later he died. She lived, alone, another 26 years. This is why women should marry younger men. It evens things out. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Some men seem to hold onto this older man/younger women fantasy much like a 5 yr old holds onto the fantasy of Santa Claus and the Toothfairy. It really is sad. 5 Ways Modern Men Are Trained to Hate Women | Cracked.com This article perfectly sums up how they came to this bizarre conclusion (among others). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 FTR, I don't want anyone to die alone... or spend years in isolation. We all need care and compassion. To the extent that some people (men or women) are willing to do that at another's expense is my gripe. Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 The sooner us women learn that men think they are overall better human beings holding more worth to their world since they tout their greatness well into old age, the sooner us women learn that we are just worthless piles of wasted space that are only acceptable to be in the presence of men when we are young and beautiful and full of “baby making health”, the sooner women just lie down and die after the age of 30 so that all the wonderful and aging men can have their chances with the “young beauties”, the happier it seems men will be. What do I learn from this? That men think they have more worth and are better then women. Whenever I hear older men talk about how “why shouldn’t I go for younger women”, “older men age better”, “older men are better”, “older women are ugly”, “after 30 women are worthless”...and the millions of other justifications that come across this board everyday of men trying to convince themselves of their worth while stomping on the heads of women to do it, I learn that men think women are just completely worthless unless they are young. And that even for those young women, their worth to a man isn’t worth much since those younger women will also age. And they will be left with a man that has about as much respect and true care for her as he did for women his own age. A man that still believes he is a more worthwhile human being then a woman because he wants to believe that he gets better with age and that women get worse. And this type of man will justify this thought process on the back of all the younger women that turned him down in his day. Never once thinking about the girls that even when young, also got turned down by young men. And why? Because these men don’t really care or even like women. Young or old. They might like a tight body and pretty face but this is not a real like for women as people. Sorry for the rant but I am so sick and tired of hearing men tell us how worthless women are. Like women don't deserve to be loved or have sex or want a relationship with a good guy after a certain age. I am so sick and tired of men pretending they are better or that they age better or that they look better.. It's such bullcrap. And it's really boarders on misogonisitic. And it simply makes me think that as a woman, it doesn't matter what you do. You will never win with a man because what matters to him and most men is the youngest package he can get. And that is what these conversations boil down to. It almost makes me feel like men would actuallly be happy jsut to shipt every woman over 30 over to an island and shot them down like dogs while puffing out his chest and acting like he is such a stud over 30. Well we get it guys! You win! You are all Mr. Wonderfuls. you and your "buddies" banging and using al lteh "hot young tail" while laughing at women. And wome nare all just pieces of sh*t..You win. Good for you. This must be what you want anyway. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Don't let the s*theads get ya down DY. You know who the typical characters are. Put 'em on the ignore list. Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Well I want to have kids one day and yes women can have children into their 40's but I'd like for my future wife to have 2 kids before she is 35 so here is the plan: Date a 26 year old for 18 mos, propose, be engaged for 6 mos, have a year of no kids to get used to things then have the 1st kid, she'll be 30 then. Have another kid 2 years later and she'll be 32. So that means my ABSOLUTE LIMIT age wise is 30 becase that would put the 1st kid being born at about 34. That being said that would be in a perfect world and I'm 30 so my maximum will go up each year. Link to post Share on other sites
sLiPpeTh Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 It's all about sex drive. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Well I want to have kids one day and yes women can have children into their 40's but I'd like for my future wife to have 2 kids before she is 35 so here is the plan: Date a 26 year old for 18 mos, propose, be engaged for 6 mos, have a year of no kids to get used to things then have the 1st kid, she'll be 30 then. Have another kid 2 years later and she'll be 32. So that means my ABSOLUTE LIMIT age wise is 30 becase that would put the 1st kid being born at about 34. That being said that would be in a perfect world and I'm 30 so my maximum will go up each year. Women don't owe you babies. I've met men with your plan. They are the same ones trolling the 20 and 30 somethings well into their 40's and 50's then complaining why younger women don't want them. Not saying this to be mean... but saying that your age requirements will make it harder and harder for you to find anyone... much less one who will give you kids. Something to think about. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Until women start being more proactive in approaching men they find desirable, and forestall men having to play infinite "guessing games," constantly undertaking the risk of rejection, and putting ourselves out there, we will hit on and approach whomever we want to. That "OK" with you? Oh yes! Please blame women more about being "proactive" even as you talk about how you will approach the kind of women you really want! Younger ones! Because women being proactive and approaching will certainaly all the sudden make men see women their own age as more beautiful. Yeah. Okay. Bounce that theory off the men ushering women and children onto the lifeboats on the Titanic, or off someone who lost a family member in a war. Get back to us. Men are socialized to lay down their very lives for women, and this has been the case for thousands of years. As far as things other than life, physical safety and basic needs, we may not know "what women want" or "what is good for you" but then again neither do you. OMG. Give me a freaking break. I have heard this Titanic crap float around the internet for a little bit now. If you MRM guys aren't angry about femininsm, you're angry about the Titantic. Never mind the countless number of men that have died at the hands of other men throughout history! By the way, where you in the Titantic generation? Are you really Qauntum Leap guy? Please. Men today are more likely to push a woman over and stomp on her to get off the boat in the name of some bitter idea about how feminism has destroyed everything. You want to talk about what men are socialized for? Men are socialized to let their sexuality remain in frat-boy state through a lot of the popular male media. Men are socialized to chase power. Whether that’s power over other men or power over women. And today, since men infact do not have as much power as they use to have, they are angrier then ever before and dig their heels into women to beat them down to over tout their own worth over women. I am also tired of men old enough to be my father thinking that I would want to be with them. When I online dated and men outside my age range set me some bullcrap emails about how he was “young at heart”, “really active”, “felt like he was 20” and other comments where he was trying to recapture his youth, I plainly responded that he was too old and I was not interested in dating a man of his age. And I only did this because these men ignored my age range because they thought they were so special that I would just want to be with their old selves! Well I didn’t. And with women having gained more economic freedom, there is even less reason for women to be with older men. Men don’t want to pay for things anymore? No problem. But then there is no reason to date older if a guy doesn’t offer that as part of the package. The third significant GF back was 23 to my 32 at the time the one after that was 30 to my 34. Recent ex was my exact age. The 23 y.o.chased me from day one, and had her pick of a whole roomful of better looking younger men than me the night we met. Just worked out that they all had sideways hats on and jeans hanging half down their ass pounding jaeger, while I had on a nice sportsjacket and drinking a scotch. Actually, on reflection, those little boys didn't have a chance. Oh you are such a stud! A 23 year old wanted you! You’re so special! Yes yes we know..you’re so mature and worldly......Oh how you “shot” those “little” boys down...If she was 23 she must have been a prize! Because all 23 year old girls are automatically better just by sheer number! Do you even know how degrading that is to that 23 year old girl herself? Do you know how funny it is that *you* actually think her *age* says something about *you* and your "maturity" or how you "beat" out the young competition? Do know how funny it is that you consider yourself in competition with other 23 year old guys? It's funny because you dually think you are automatically better then these guys while you take great pleasure from beating them out..like it was a "challenage". Like you were really being out your peers. While you feel the same glee if you beat out another guy your age for a woman your age? I doubt it. It's funny to me becaues your an older guy and you were excited to beat out 23 year old guys for a 23 year old girl. I mean really? That's a big accomplishment? That's something to brag about?  My friends are all similar. The one I know who has banged the most young women (50-100 at least 10 years younger than him) now dates a woman ten years older than he is. Imagine that. Awwww, that's so sweet..OMG may all women find such a wonderful man that banged lots of young woman then dated someone older..like throwing a starving dog a bone..what a swearheat your friend is..every girl should be so lucky.......... Good lord. There is more bullcrap in this thread then a cow pasture in a 90 degree day. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 "That men think they have more worth and are better then women. Whenever I hear older men talk about how “why shouldn’t I go for younger women”, “older men age better”, “older men are better”, “older women are ugly”, “after 30 women are worthless”" I am attracted to women of all ages. I met a 54 year old jewish woman (thought she was Iranian, whoops lol) at my job the other day and she rocked my fing world. I loved her face, body, smile, persona, accent and the way she smelled and carried herself. I could of been putty in her hands at the snap of her fingers. So not all men think like that but lets say she wasn't married. I'm 30 so I'm supposed to ask her out even though I want to have kids one day? Um...NO Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted March 28, 2012 Share Posted March 28, 2012 Don't let the s*theads get ya down DY. You know who the typical characters are. Put 'em on the ignore list. Yeah I logically know I shouldn't but these threads just make me feel like I need to give up on men because clearly everything a woman is as human being is nothing what men want. They want the porn fantsy. They want the young babe. They don't a real person. So I might as well start collecting my cats now and being happy in my hobbies because guys think they are better then women when they are seeking to date younger women while they put women their own age down. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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