Tayla Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 What a fish story. Link to post Share on other sites
Everest_21 Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 Looks like Nickster1 has a disease of playing the good guy game .Really Nickster is your story even true ? Because you seem to be buying time to compose the next plot or your wife really has made a pussy out of you ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nickster1 Posted September 30, 2011 Author Share Posted September 30, 2011 Bring the evidence to her family. You tell them you're getting a divorce, and that their daughter's a cheating whore. And to top it off, the recent child isnt even yours. Your wife will then find out from them, you'll get a million calls (which u should ignore) and she'll go insane trying to find and confront you... This is the ultimate humiliation because her family found out from you. This way you take away her opportunity to try to spin the story to her family, and to hear the news from her parents, that takes the cake.... Only thing I'm afraid of is that she might take a knife to your or her throat for this. JayL88, I didn't think about this before...But i will lose control over what she does when she finds out that I found out....She might burn the house down... I mean once I tell them, they would call her ASAP... It is evident that Nick is struggling with ending his marriage....he is basically standing in a circle going around and around. His world has IMPLODED and while some can cut and run quick; he can't so stop giving him crap. His life will change completely when he confronts his wife - emotionally, mentally, physically, sexually and financially. So what if it is taking him some time to wrap his head around it. He IS reaching out to others for support and advice. Instead of kicking him since he hasn't followed "your" timetable; if you can't give him strength or support, quit posting. Can't blame the guy for caring or having a loving heart. Those are actually GREAT qualities; and unfortunately, his wife is too stupid to realize it. She will regret her actions one day. Nick, best of luck to you. Thank you 'fooled once'. This is exactly my situation. Tayla, I guess you mean my life is a stinking story.... Everest_21, no pussy...simply broken. The moment is coming... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nickster1 Posted September 30, 2011 Author Share Posted September 30, 2011 Update: Her brother is seeing the tension between us and it is not fair to him. She keeps telling me that she wasn't with no other man in the last 6 years since her (1st) cheating...I started talking to her brother, she was afraid that i will tell him about the (1st) cheating...but i didn't (yet). The brother was asking me on why I'm acting like this with her? He asked me if it is just feelings, thoughts, or do i have evidence of something that is happening...I just told him about the password on her cell phone and her "strange" behavior...Both things that i told my W too. He basically said that although she is his sister, if she did something wrong, something to betray my trust he will take care of her...I told him that right now it is just my thoughts and her cell phone password. I decided that he would probably do something stupid if i tell him while he is here... Probably not a good idea, I'll have to suck it up another week. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 So you are treating her badly but won't tell her why? Are you passive in your marriage with your wife? If so this could be the reason you are having this problem. She doesn't respect you. You should have put your foot down a long time ago or left her after the 1st affair. You have become a cuckold and even if you do reconcile I'm not sure you will get the respect back that you deserve. I think the reason people are so frustrated with this thread is we've seen other cuckolds come here and give blow by blow accounts of their wife's affairs and solicit sympathy but continue to stay and take it. It is as if they enjoy the pain. I hope you are not that person. Your son may not be your biological offspring but he is still your son and he deserves your support. It wasn't his fault that his mommy is a skank. Link to post Share on other sites
2long Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 Nick: You need 2 stop worrying about how people will react when they hear what your W has been doing all these years. You're worrying so much that you're paralyzed in2 inaction. It will NOT be exposure that will cause pain. It IS her infidelity that is causing pain. The truth is liberating, not paralyzing. Until you expose the affairs and take definitive steps 2ward divorce, and do those things in the open, there's not much any of us can do 2 help. I can understand your reticence 2 act, but you need 2 be mindful of the fact that the longer you wait, the greater advantage you give 2 your wife in any divorce settlement. Don't think that she doesn't know you're on2 her. She might not know how much you know at this point, but she'll soon figure it out. And while you're waiting for your best oppor2nity 2 expose the affair, she could be planning on how 2 take the most advantage of you in the divorce. I've seen it all before, so don't think it can't happen. I'll check back in from time 2 time, but until you decide 2 make positive changes 2 this stalemate, I don't have anything more 2 add. -ol' 2long Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nickster1 Posted September 30, 2011 Author Share Posted September 30, 2011 So you are treating her badly but won't tell her why? Are you passive in your marriage with your wife? If so this could be the reason you are having this problem. She doesn't respect you. You should have put your foot down a long time ago or left her after the 1st affair. You have become a cuckold and even if you do reconcile I'm not sure you will get the respect back that you deserve. I think the reason people are so frustrated with this thread is we've seen other cuckolds come here and give blow by blow accounts of their wife's affairs and solicit sympathy but continue to stay and take it. It is as if they enjoy the pain. I hope you are not that person. Your son may not be your biological offspring but he is still your son and he deserves your support. It wasn't his fault that his mommy is a skank. stillafool, I'm not a cuckold (I will better die than become one), I'm just slow. Now it is not that i treat her badly now, I simply behave differently which drives her crazy. Like asking her questions when her cell phone rings private calls..ask her where she's going, especially when i know she is lying in my face...I told her that I'm doing that since I got pisses at her with her password locked cell phone... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nickster1 Posted September 30, 2011 Author Share Posted September 30, 2011 Nick: You need 2 stop worrying about how people will react when they hear what your W has been doing all these years. You're worrying so much that you're paralyzed in2 inaction.... It will NOT be exposure that will cause pain. It IS her infidelity that is causing pain. The truth is liberating, not paralyzing.... ....be mindful of the fact that the longer you wait, the greater advantage you give 2 your wife in any divorce settlement. Don't think that she doesn't know you're on2 her. She might not know how much you know at this point, but she'll soon figure it out. And while you're waiting for your best oppor2nity 2 expose the affair, she could be planning on how 2 take the most advantage of you in the divorce.... -ol' 2long 2long, You might be on something. I'm starting to feel that she is less careful in hiding her secret. For ex. "forgetting" to delete the redial list on the phones...she was very careful about this before. I'm sort of afraid that she will find out that i know it before I actually confront her... Yet again, she keep telling me that I'm suspecting her for no reason as she was loyal to me ever since that cheating 5-6 years ago. On the other people knowing...she is afraid of that...As i said before, she thinks that if i decide to "tell" her brother about that cheating (1st one), she would be humiliated in front of him and lose her respect...I told her that she should have thought about this before she cheated...and she gets upset about me raising this "old" story again. Her only one and single mistake...(according to her words) Link to post Share on other sites
2011aug Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 Nick loves BOTH children; period. He should fight for BOTH his children; not only one. The cold hard fact is that one child is not his. Shouldn't the child's real father have a say? Link to post Share on other sites
SoulStorm Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 In my first post to this thread I said either you had nerves or steel or you were very afraid. After 12 pages..I just think you are afraid. You're dropping little accusatory hints that you know something and she just denies. It's making everyone crazy. Your fear is going to cost you. I really hope that this isn't a ploy for attention, because if it is..you have wasted a lot of peoples time. Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 The cold hard fact is that one child is not his. Shouldn't the child's real father have a say? According to biology yes the child isn't not his biological son; but according to the courts and MORE IMPORTANTLY to the child, Nick is dad. Should the biological father know of his child? OF COURSE; it will come out once Nick confronts his wife. Nick, stop talking to her brother. In the end, many times families circle around when times are tough and she will have a zillion excuses for why she cheated and all of them will be because of you and your treatment of her. Stop discussing your private marriage with her brother. Stop. In many way, I think you are glad the brother is there because it is yet another reason for the delay in confronting her. Just remember, like someone else said, each day you continue to pretend all's fine and NOT confront her is another day of you basically letting it be known you are okay with her cheating on you. And if you do have sex with her, you have given her the go ahead to continue to cheat on you. I know you are scared, but time for you to pull up your big boy pants and take action...one way or another. Either accept the affair and continue the marriage and go on OR confront and begin separation proceedings. You are holding the cards and it is time for you to make your decision. Link to post Share on other sites
Calif_hope Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 N.......Why!!! Why are you ignoring the sound, studied, experienced, and good advice offered here. Why, if you want to save this relationship, are you allowing more damage to occur. She disrespects you! Stop this, you night not fit the Webster definition of a Cockhold bit I hate to say it you are in my book. Take a power position in the relationship, don't fool yourself, the PI, the spoiled meetings, the DNA, even posting here----none of it puts you in the power position. Expose this, tell her brother, her family her friends, ask for their help. Take charger - man up. Quit whining and take action. You have all your ducks in a row - go for it!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nickster1 Posted October 3, 2011 Author Share Posted October 3, 2011 ...Your fear is going to cost you. ...I really hope that this isn't a ploy for attention, because if it is..you have wasted a lot of peoples time. SoulStorm, it is not ploy, and i hope i didn't waste any one's time. I feel that every post here added to my support, knowledge, and confidence and i appreciate that a lot. I can't deny that there was some element of being afraid, afraid of admitting that my family is destroyed. But I also discovered that I have steel inside of me. One would blow this as soon as he finds out, and me basically denying the information that i found...Was looking into finding "evidence" that will repute the bad stuff i found before... At the same time, I got addicted to this "information finding" and wanted more and more info. But the Chickens came home to roost. It is going to happen in the next couple of day or at worst case when the brother leaves... fooled once, why do you think it is so bad that i talk to her brother? So far, she is lying to him. She is getting deeper into the lie. I think that once it is exposed, it will be impossible for him to be "on her side". I agree that by me not exposing it now,,,it is like i agree with what she's doing. In one way once I do expose it, she will probably say something like "I can't believe you knew about this for 1.5 months...and you still allowed me to be screwed by that dude...what kind of man are you..." Calif_hope, yeah. She disrespects me by definition.... While talking to her yesterday she said that she feels that she is loosing me...she gets the feeling that we are getting apart and she doesn't like that... Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 I agree that by me not exposing it now,,,it is like i agree with what she's doing. In one way once I do expose it, she will probably say something like "I can't believe you knew about this for 1.5 months...and you still allowed me to be screwed by that dude...what kind of man are you..." Calif_hope, yeah. She disrespects me by definition.... While talking to her yesterday she said that she feels that she is loosing me...she gets the feeling that we are getting apart and she doesn't like that... So...answer that question now, before you're asked it by her in the heat of battle. What's your answer/response to that question? What I don't get is that when she voiced her concerns yesterday, you had a perfect lead in to "deal" with the situation. Yet, once again...you didn't. WHY NOT? Final question...once again...what are you ACTIVELY DOING to deal with all of this, right now, today? Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 Zzzzzzz...... huh....what....CONFRONTATION?......oh...no?....okay...*smack* *smack* Zzzzzzz....... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nickster1 Posted October 3, 2011 Author Share Posted October 3, 2011 What's your answer/response to that question? I was living in a denial stage where no matter how bad the evidence is, i was trying to wake up for the nightmare and find that all the bad stuff was not true...Then was the whole family and kids getting destroyed because of that...Lastly, i was trying to find the right moment... What I don't get is that when she voiced her concerns yesterday, you had a perfect lead in to "deal" with the situation. Yet, once again...you didn't. WHY NOT? Because the brother is here...and i would rather blow it after he leaves...otherwise it will be much uglier... Final question...once again...what are you ACTIVELY DOING to deal with all of this, right now, today? Monitoring the situation...minimizing damage, trying to get the brother to understand what a lying bitch sister he has...I think that because of the kids, i will need an support. Even from her family side. I'm not counting on that...but if that would be there, it would help me and the KIDS. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 Monitoring the situation...minimizing damage, trying to get the brother to understand what a lying bitch sister he has...I think that because of the kids, i will need an support. Even from her family side. I'm not counting on that...but if that would be there, it would help me and the KIDS. Don't forget that no matter what his sister does she is still his sister. She will be there when you are long gone. So stop depending on her brother. If you really want him to know what a lying bitch she is confront her while he is there. Stop being so weak. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nickster1 Posted October 3, 2011 Author Share Posted October 3, 2011 Don't forget that no matter what his sister does she is still his sister. She will be there when you are long gone. So stop depending on her brother. If you really want him to know what a lying bitch she is confront her while he is there. Stop being so weak. I might do exactly that... Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 I have to agree. I'd deliberately, intentionally expose while her brother is there. And...all of this kind of depends on your intended outcome. If you're asking for his help to get her to reconcile...enlist his aid by exposing while there. If you're planning on divorce...then again...what does it matter what her response is? What IS your goal? If divorce...the question is what what do you gain by prolonging all of this (versus putting yourself through the continued pain of watching this and doing nothing to stop it)? If reconciliation...same question? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nickster1 Posted October 3, 2011 Author Share Posted October 3, 2011 I have to agree. I'd deliberately, intentionally expose while her brother is there. And...all of this kind of depends on your intended outcome. If you're asking for his help to get her to reconcile...enlist his aid by exposing while there. If you're planning on divorce...then again...what does it matter what her response is? What IS your goal? If divorce...the question is what what do you gain by prolonging all of this (versus putting yourself through the continued pain of watching this and doing nothing to stop it)? If reconciliation...same question? How can i reconcile with her....she cannot be trusted. All the sins she did (and there are a lot of them) are nothing compared to the trust issue. If there was some imaginary force, aka GOD, or anything that would really be able to guaranty me that she could be trusted again!, I think i would be able to consider to reconcile...( i said consider but not do it for sure). However, such thing does not exist in reality. And her actions till today proved beyond any reasonable doubt that she can NOT be trusted. She will cheat on me again. I don't need such life. I don't need also to GPS her on a minute by minute basis. That is too much time consuming and not fair to me and to her. My broken heart still loves her ( i know it is crazy...) and at the same time, hates her so much for doing what she did... In my situation, hate is stronger than love. I'm not gaining anything by prolonging it. And i feel sorry for not busting them last time i had a golden chance! Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 OK...divorce is the goal. You've identified that all of this waiting is doing nothing to help you reach your goal or improve the outcome...but clearly it's tearing you up to sit back and watch. So why do it? You have all the information you need to act. Work with your lawyer and develop a gameplan on how to manage the best possible outcome of a divorce (for yourself and your children) that you can...and work with him to figure out if there's any benefit in managing the confrontation with her, or in when it should happen. What's your status on divorcing? Have you filed? Started paperwork? What have you learned about the laws in your state? All ACTIVE STEPS you can be taking to reach your goal. Link to post Share on other sites
silic0ntoad Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 Wow. This was the biggest waste of time ever. WTF? Link to post Share on other sites
2long Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 My broken heart still loves her ( i know it is crazy...) and at the same time, hates her so much for doing what she did... What do you mean, "did"? She's still doing it. And you're condoning it, so long as you allow it 2 continue by keeping your trap shut about what you know. In my situation, hate is stronger than love. But it's not the opposite of love, indifference is. you're not indifferent 2ward your wife, so there's still this emotional attachment you need 2 disentangle yourself from. I'm not gaining anything by prolonging it. And i feel sorry for not busting them last time i had a golden chance! What difference would that have made? Bust her now, while you're less likely 2 wind up in jail on assault charges. Or stop complaining about her behavior that you're condoning by not taking a stand. -ol' 2long Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 How can i reconcile with her.... You already have reconciled with her whether you realize it or not. You are showing so by your actions. Doing Nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nickster1 Posted October 3, 2011 Author Share Posted October 3, 2011 You already have reconciled with her whether you realize it or not. You are showing so by your actions. Doing Nothing. That is quite offending. Although I do understand what you mean, i sure not agree with her actions...but let me prove this point to you. How many men could accept such a wife? Link to post Share on other sites
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