Question for Guys 40 - 50

[Jersey Shortie]

Yes, honestly, I think the men in their late 30's and 40's and beyond thinking that all these 22 year olds want them are them deceiving themselves.

 

 

I was the only one of my friends who dated older guys. And when I do date older men, I have higher expectations for them. I let them pay, I let them do most of the heavy work. And they eagerly chase after you like puppies. They have just as many fears of ending up alone as women can. This I have learned from my experiences with the older men. We all want to be valued for who we are, not our money and not our bodies. Could you imagine if women spent time masturbating to men with huge pay checks in sexy movies the same way men do with college co-eds? Men certainly wouldn't like that.

 

When I date men my age, it evens out more and I offer to pay for things and such. The chase is much more even. I figure if older men want to date someone younger, me, then they should return the favor of their benefits. Most of my friends, men and women, busted or do still bust on me when I date someone late 30s or 40s. They date men in their age group. The current guy I am seeing is a year younger then me.

 

That might sound cold but alot of men here sound rather cold and mean towards women so I might as well keep up with their negative opinons as well. If men only see me as being a vauable human being for my youth, then they deserve what they get in return in regards to me placing value on their money.

 

I don't really want that kind of dynamic in the end though. I dated a very wealthy older man in this early 40s that offered me many things but I just couldn't do it. I don't want to be with the type of man that thinks I am less of a female because I had the nerve to do something as human as age, just as he is. And I don't want to be with a man that thinks he is the better one because he got older. Can you blame women for feeling hurt by men for that cold rejection? We LOVE male affection. But apparently all men want are the next new set of perky boobs. So the message I have learned from men is that no matter what you do for them, how much you love them, want their affection, the only think that matters for them is a perfect body and pretty face.

 

 

 

Also, men who are after younger women are actually admitting that they want women who just want them for their income, not for them. Why would you want a woman who just wants you for your wallet?

 

No man wants to be wanted for only his wallet. Don't you know these 22 year olds are suppose to love him for the man he is and tell him how great and wonderful he is for being older even if he is fat, poor, wrinkly, bald.....We are suppose to raise families with men and then watch them lust after women our daughters age after we gave him children and a home.. We are suppose to think the sun shines out of his butt for having doing nothing other then existing as a man. That's the message I garner from some of the men here. When she hits 40, he can let her know how much of a lesser human being and female she is for aging. And he can go on living in a state that he is "better" for his years.

 

So at the end, I know I fear getting older because the message from men is that I'm not allowed to both get older and still be a valuable human being to have male affection. I am only worthy as a female for what I offer a man physically. I love and enjoy male affection and apparently I am suppose to be denied it because I am human and get older. I am suppose to live out my years when I hit 50, as a non-sexual female who isn't suppose to want to do anything as human as feel beautiful and sexy. If that is true, why should I spend my life trying to build a life with a man that in the next 15 years will be thinking he is a great man and I am a "depreciating" value? Why shouldn't women be hurt and angry for this cold treatment? Why do men feel so good in making women feel like they are less?

[Lonestar]

Good genes or not, there's no way you can confuse a 54 for a 33, seriously. I'm sure she has excellent physical looks and looks younger..but not 33. I also have good genes; both grandmothers at 90+, eat healthy and exercise, but I believe I look very much my age; 31.

 

 

I know age doesn't really matter to dudes, but I just find this habit of most women denying their real age a bit annoying.

 

LOL! I'm going to be 42 and I still get carded for alcohol and cigarettes. Shygirl, probably won't believe that, but it's ok. I'm not in denial of my age. I LOVE when I get carded and they look at my license and almost hit the floor in disbelief. I enjoy telling people my real age and then seeing the confusion on their face because their not sure if I'm lying.

 

I'm the first to look in the mirror and see the signs of aging in my face. There are 2 fine lines that really annoy me and I wonder if next year they'll be deeper. I do know that when I'm 50, I will still look younger than many 35-40 year olds and I'll be more than proud to wear a button that says I'm 50.

 

As to the OP, I think men look for younger women because it makes them feel powerful with their peers to bed the next generation. These men are usually insecure with themselves and have something to prove, and/or sometimes younger women just turn them on more than older ones. I don't think its the actual age of the woman. It's the age she looks. Just start telling men your 40. They'll never know.

[Cherry Blossom 35]

Good post, Jersey Shorty. You have written a lot of the things I was thinking.

 

The good news is that there are older men out there who love women in their own age group. My aunt died in the early nineties and my uncle has been alone for a long time. He is in his 60's. He met a woman from his bike club in her mid 50's. They've fallen head over heels and were married last spring. So cute

 

Also, my boss and his wife are like teenagers. He is 60, she is 57. We all work together so I get to see them in action. They have been married for over 30 years and it is like they just got married, I kid you not. They are the cutest together. Very affectionate, loving, always joking around with each other, love each other's company. They are truly an inspiration for me and also their kids. They have talked about how they feel so lucky to have each other. If anything, I worry about them if one were to die. I think the other would be so lost.

 

Not every man is disgusted by beautiful older women. Isn't it funny how certain people here seem to thrive on ripping older women to shreds for nothing more than getting older. As if we have a choice! It's almost as if they think it is some kind of failure on their part to stay young and nubile and they should be punished for it. Makes me ill.

[Lonestar]

FLC

47 and 50 years old are the same age in my book...

 

 

I'm 45.. my wife late 30's ( I'm no fool )..

 

When I was dating I used the 10 year rule... I would date 10 years younger and only would date older if they were of child bearing age ( since I still wanted kids of my own some day ).

Dating older was something I was used to as well though.. My exw was almost 3 years older than me...

 

 

Art, Women in their 40s can still have babies. They just don't want them

[OpenBook]

That might sound cold but alot of men here sound rather cold and mean towards women so I might as well keep up with their negative opinons as well. If men only see me as being a vauable human being for my youth, then they deserve what they get in return in regards to me placing value on their money.

 

No, I think you'd be better off just laughing at them. They're hilarious, and they're wrong. They're also an anomaly (Thank God!!). They do not represent the opinions of most males in evolved and prosperous societies.

 

So at the end, I know I fear getting older because the message from men is that I'm not allowed to both get older and still be a valuable human being to have male affection. I am only worthy as a female for what I offer a man physically. I love and enjoy male affection and apparently I am suppose to be denied it because I am human and get older. I am suppose to live out my years when I hit 50, as a non-sexual female who isn't suppose to want to do anything as human as feel beautiful and sexy.

 

Honey, by the time a woman hits 50, she doesn't give a sh*t about what anyone else thinks she's "supposed" to do with her life. She is typically strong, confident, independent in her own right. She knows herself inside and out. And she is also much more capable of weeding out and getting rid of sources of negativity in her life... especially men who make her feel like an "empty wessel" because she is no longer in the brood-mare stage to spawn their children. Um, even if I WAS in that stage, the last thing I'd be doing is spawning THEIR children. Sheeeeeeeeesh, who needs it??!?

 

I'll never forget what John Travolta said about his first love, Diana Hyland (she played his mother in "The Boy In The Plastic Bubble"... but died of cancer soon after that movie came out) - he said, "She is every color I could ever imagine." She was way older than him... 15-20 years older if my memory is correct.

 

Women (and men, for that matter) can age like a fine wine. It's all up to them, and what they do with their own lives, and how they handle their own outlook on life.

 

Why shouldn't women be hurt and angry for this cold treatment? Why do men feel so good in making women feel like they are less?

 

Only creeps make women feel this way. The majority of men are not like this. The majority of men really appreciate it when you take good care of yourself, no matter what your age (or theirs).

 

==========

I also find it extremely interesting, here on this thread, that it's being ignored that many men out there are simply not interested in starting a family. This is a reason often cited by men who seek out older women to date. They feel too much pressure from the younger women to hook up & settle down.

[Cherry Blossom 35]

LOL, I just realized I was watching Harold and Maude on HBO as I was writing my previous post. Haha, hilarious.

[Capricciosa]

There's actually only one man on here, beating his old tired drum, trying to convince us that it's curtains for us once we hit the big 4-0--I won't name names, but you all know who he is. This is not at all my experience. The age range of men hitting on me has definitely increased--from early 20s to early 50s. It all depends on what I am after. I prefer a man in my age group, and I haven't noticed any sign that they are running from me like the plague. Many already have had children, a few don't want any, and I'm pretty up front about not wanting to reproduce at this stage.

 

I have to add that my father remarried someone much younger when he was in his late 50s--she is less than 3 years older than I am. He always looked much younger than his age (runs in the family), and had two kids, which is nice for him since he completely screwed up his first attempt as a family man, but I have to say that it is sad to see the demands on a now 70 year old, with a wife in her 40s and 2 teenage children. In order to meet the demands, he works 18 hours a day at an age when he should be slowing down, enjoying life. Good thing we have those strong genes and health, but they are going to work him into the ground.

 

So there is the image for you of the older man with the much younger wife. In my experience, men who have waited until their 40s or beyond to have children are looking for a life of hard labor while energy dwindles. There is a reason most people reproduce in their 20s and 30s, both for the sake of their own lives and that of their children.

 

And why are some people so biblical on here--marriage/relationships are for things other than mutliplying. How narrowminded and literal.

[OpenBook]

In my experience, men who have waited until their 40s or beyond to have children are looking for a life of hard labor while energy dwindles. There is a reason most people reproduce in their 20s and 30s, both for the sake of their own lives and that of their children.

 

Excellent point. I agree completely, and I think this isn't considered nearly enough when people start families in their 40's. You really gotta want it bad, because raising a child takes everything you got.

 

Lonestar hit it too --

 

Art, Women in their 40s can still have babies. They just don't want them

 

:D:D Love it!!

 

And why are some people so biblical on here--marriage/relationships are for things other than mutliplying. How narrowminded and literal.

 

Amen to that!!:D:D

[Lonestar]

Well, I really do not think anybody insulted anybody on this thread; some facts were mentioned however since some of us would prefer to live in denial than face facts, we found those comments insulting.

 

 

You insulted a whole bunch of people, Shygirl. That's kinda immature. How old are you? I'm going to bet a whole bunch of money that you look far older than your age which is why you can't/won't accept that many people look younger than their number. It's a jealously thing on your part. That's sad.

[Trialbyfire]

It's highly improbable that anyone 52, looks like they're in their early thirties. Skin texture is telling.

 

Having said that, it doesn't mean that the OP isn't a beautiful woman who does look younger than her age. The age gap referenced is negligible. If he's attracted, tell him your age and see how he reacts. Better to be upfront than to have to lie or have to evade the truth later on, when both of you are invested.

[Curmudgeon]

LOL! I'm going to be 42 and I still get carded for alcohol and cigarettes. Shygirl, probably won't believe that, but it's ok. I'm not in denial of my age. I LOVE when I get carded and they look at my license and almost hit the floor in disbelief. I enjoy telling people my real age and then seeing the confusion on their face because their not sure if I'm lying.

 

I'm the first to look in the mirror and see the signs of aging in my face. There are 2 fine lines that really annoy me and I wonder if next year they'll be deeper. I do know that when I'm 50, I will still look younger than many 35-40 year olds and I'll be more than proud to wear a button that says I'm 50.

 

As to the OP, I think men look for younger women because it makes them feel powerful with their peers to bed the next generation. These men are usually insecure with themselves and have something to prove, and/or sometimes younger women just turn them on more than older ones. I don't think its the actual age of the woman. It's the age she looks. Just start telling men your 40. They'll never know.

 

Got a couple of lines there, do ya? Well, I have lots and I've earned every one of them. I think of them more as character lines than as wrinkles. A lot of poeple tell me I don't look my age but I think they're just being kind. Either that or my easy-going yet outgoing manner throws them off.

 

A few days ago I turned 62. That means I'm now a federally recognized old fart because I'm eligible to start drawing my Social Security. Looking in the mirror I see someone who looks every bit their age and I refuse to lie to myself about it.

 

As for younger women. Sure, they're nice to look at. I have a number of them who work with and for me. But come to think of it, I'm older than all the women so that makes every one of them younger.

 

When I divorced at 48 then thought about dating again at 50 I purposely considered only women at or near my own age. I wanted the shared experiences of music, films, history, social movement, etc. So not all men want someone younger. I certainly didn't (I finished raising children years ago) so my wife is only two years younger than I am.

 

So much of what I've read in this thread sounds like myth, supposition and misinformation when the reality is, it all comes down to personal preferences.

[Lonestar]

A few days ago I turned 62.

 

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Curmudgeon!!!

 

I'm sure you don't look a day older than 50

[Lyssa]

When I am older, I'd like to think the lines/wrinkles are the representatives of what I have gone through in life.. hehe.

[OpenBook]

When I am older, I'd like to think the lines/wrinkles are the representatives of what I have gone through in life.. hehe.

 

If that's true, then my face should look like a road map of New York City by now.:D

[vonerik012]

Curmedgeon...

 

 

At 50 you married a woman who is 48. You did not marry a woman who was 60, and say "Age doesn't matter".

 

Who keeps mentioning 20 yr olds and why? I said many times a man wants someone his age, or younger. The above is a perfect example. That does not mean 30 years younger. AGE IS VERY IMPORTANT in that they do not want someone older.

 

So ladies, when you are 40 and single, think of your future.. A man 38 and up is not bad.. Thinking you look 25, and will then keep a 30 year old is a joke.

[almost famous]

I wasn't thinking that I was going to land a 30 year old, but I do look younger than I am, I get told that constantly and have for years, from just as many men and women. But I do often have men in late 20's/early 30's come up to me. I am not one who thinks that I have to announce my age just because a guy talks to me and we go out on a date. Often times it takes a while for "age" to come up, it's not even the issue whatsoever, the year on the driver's license. I don't know how this is difficult to understand this, lol.

You love to twist words I notice, lol.

You totally miss the concept that you fall in love with who you fall in love with, you don't fall in love with a number.

I think you look your age and you are quite resentful.

 

Curmedgeon...

 

 

At 50 you married a woman who is 48. You did not marry a woman who was 60, and say "Age doesn't matter".

 

Who keeps mentioning 20 yr olds and why? I said many times a man wants someone his age, or younger. The above is a perfect example. That does not mean 30 years younger. AGE IS VERY IMPORTANT in that they do not want someone older.

 

So ladies, when you are 40 and single, think of your future.. A man 38 and up is not bad.. Thinking you look 25, and will then keep a 30 year old is a joke.

[vonerik012]

LOL... Yes I do look my age, as I feel everyone does.. It is amazing that all the women on LS look 10-15 years younger.. Maybe the age barometer tool everyone has needs to be re-calibrated.

 

 

It's like a short guy saying "My height should not matter! It's just a few inches. Just a number!"

 

People have preferences, sorry. Age is not just a number.. Or you would be open to marrying a healthy 55 yr old.

[almost famous]

A guy who is 40 isn't going to think twice if he falls in love with a 43 year old if he is looking for passion and a true love. If he's just looking for sex, he'll be trying (and very possibly not succeeding) with younger women.

Age is just a number.

[Art_Critic]

Art, Women in their 40s can still have babies. They just don't want them

 

 

Of course .. I didn't limit myself only to younger women..

I dated older and even women with many children already..

 

I just happened to marry someone younger than myself..

It wasn't planned..

and honestly she is younger but not that much younger where age is an issue..

[vonerik012]

I think you got it reversed.. If the man just wants sex, older women are far easier to obtain.

 

If the 40 year old man wants children, 43 is way too old. Sorry. He might not want a child the minute her meets you.. Is age just a number when it comes to fertility?

[Lonestar]

Of course .. I didn't limit myself only to younger women..

I dated older and even women with many children already..

 

I just happened to marry someone younger than myself..

It wasn't planned..

and honestly she is younger but not that much younger where age is an issue..

 

Art, I know you never limited yourself because you are a man with an open mind and an open heart. You got the beautiful wife you deserved because of that.

 

Now, some biyatches here are saying I must be lying about not looking my age. Do I look 41 Art?????

[Curmudgeon]

Is age just a number when it comes to fertility?

 

Nothing scares me more than a woman of child-bearing age. I felt the same way at 50. One of my three, rock-solid requirements was that the woman be post-menopausal; hystorectomy an acceptable alternative!

[Art_Critic]

Art, I know you never limited yourself because you are a man with an open mind and an open heart. You got the beautiful wife you deserved because of that.

 

Now, some biyatches here are saying I must be lying about not looking my age. Do I look 41 Art?????

 

 

Thanks...

 

First off.. your smoking hot... and no you don't look 41.. not even close...

 

30-31 is what comes to mind when I think of you ..

[Lonestar]

Thanks...

 

First off.. your smoking hot... and no you don't look 41.. not even close...

 

30-31 is what comes to mind when I think of you ..

 

Thanks, buddy. You don't look your age either. Let the naysayers drown in jealousy and throw contempt our way.

[spookie]

I don't know if a 52 year old can pass for 32, but I do know there are different ways to be "older".

 

You can be like Dara Torres: mother of a toddler, 42, ripped as h1e1 and in far better shape than nearly everyone...

 

Or this 20-year-old looking ripped 40 year old, who I'm sure will still be hot in 10 years at 50:

 

http://bodyspace.bodybuilding.com/ChickenTuna/more.php?section=progresspics

 

or you can be a doughnut-stuffing sun-baking couch potato.

 

I don't really understand the point of the debate whether women could look younger. I don't know about "younger", but better, healthier, fitter, for sure. There are some women on this other site I frequent (bodybuilding forums) who look hotter in their 40s and 50s than they did in their 20s. To say men will always prefer younger women is BS. Overweight 38 vs. Ms Fitness 55... I guarantee that the older woman gets checked out far more often.

 

The kids thing is a separate debate, and not really applicable. Obviously someone for whom children are a priority will date women of child-bearing age, who want kids. I don't get how that's relevant to telling older women who DON'T want men who want kids that men will always go for younger chicks. There are lots of men who don't want, or are done having, children. Kids aren't the only reason people get into relationships.

 

My dad had an affair with an older woman while my mom was pregnant at 43. How's that for demonstrating averages mean nothing in reality? The standard deviations of social statistics are huge.