"I like you, but you are just too nice"

[Rooster_DAR]

I think he's watching a blockbuster porn or something. That sounds good to me, too! I just got done putting in a ten hour shift at work. I am outta here!! Work that is.

 

Sure sure...you know you are considering going to the adult section at blockbuster, just admit it.

 

[DanielMadr]

LUVTOTO....it is a nice list

 

It just gives a hint. Nice Guy needs a kick

 

I never was a typical NG. I wasnt looking for mummy and I learn to control my emotions early in life....not very open person- heart under kevlar I think.

 

But I had problems....I thought I have to profess feelings etc. to a girl. I thought girls want respectable, devouted, nice guy etc. to take care of them, because they are violated on every corner:rolleyes:

I thought I have to kill a lion first.

And I thought I intimidate women....they were speechless around me:confused: ....so I was very modest and simply imitated some average Joe from TV.

'Would you like a drink? Are you OK. Arent You cold? Where do you want to go?'...that was my arsenal

 

One day, when I was trying not to get killed by 5 thugs(pickpockets)...Im very territorial animal you know:rolleyes: ......I realised I already killed a lion.

 

Then I learned (mostly from internet) how to flirt, tease, about shyt tests etc. and it was very helpfull, especially the CHALLENGE thing.

 

But the most important information Ive learnt was....DONT BE AFRAID TO PROJECT CONFIDENCE and SELFCONTROL and Girls can think on their own and they love freedom too....and sex

[Rooster_DAR]

dude the majority of women are like this...out of the 30 or 40 women I've banged maybe 5 or 6 were truly comfortable with sex and uninhibited in the sack.

 

Yeah, I agree with this. I really think it's the whole cultured thing where women were supposed to be good girls. Some many women are brought up this way because in history they were shamed at feeling any other way. Now, just about every girl grows up with these traditions and when they have sexual thoughts they are forced to deal with them negatively.

 

I am convinced this is a big problem with sex and women. Of course, when women get older some of these inhibitions die and they are able to be as sexual as they want. Being able to communicate with a woman sexually is very important, and I think inhibitions need to be thrown out the window if both partners want to enjoy true sexual pleasure.

 

Regards,

[My Fair Katie]

Sure sure...you know you are considering going to the adult section at blockbuster, just admit it.

 

 

They don't have an adult section, just softcore and some rated R version of Adam & Eve porn productions.

 

Family values and what not. Bah.

[Rooster_DAR]

They don't have an adult section, just softcore and some rated R version of Adam & Eve porn productions.

 

Family values and what not. Bah.

 

No wonder I never go to Blockbuser.

[alphamale]

No wonder I never go to Blockbuser.

yeah but you know what....they are hurting big time from all the competion form NetFlix and other mail-order rental companies. Now BlockBuster is thinking of becoming porn only so that they can regain revenue and market share

[Rooster_DAR]

yeah but you know what....they are hurting big time from all the competion form NetFlix and other mail-order rental companies. Now BlockBuster is thinking of becoming porn only so that they can regain revenue and market share

 

I guess that would make them stiff competion.

[TheSilentType]

i would take it a step further and tell men to be nice to her then be mean to her. then just alternate back and forth between the two. its the best way to string women along.

 

If I have to put this much work into maintaining a relationship, then I'm just gonna get rid of the nutcase.

 

But for the people that want the screwed up ones, then this sounds sensible. Maybe I'm too lazy to deal with this ****

[Rooster_DAR]

If I have to put this much work into maintaining a relationship, then I'm just gonna get rid of the nutcase.

 

But for the people that want the screwed up ones, then this sounds sensible. Maybe I'm too lazy to deal with this ****

 

 

:laugh::laugh:

[luvtoto]

But weren't you saying how your man gave you too much time and conversation (phone calls and visits)????

Seriously. The differences are loud and clear.

[shawn_68]

Has every guy been dumped for that in their life? I mean, if once upon a time, Alpha was even having troubles with the ladies, this NG syndrome might be more common than I thought.

 

It is common. As a man, I know I have learned the hard and PAINFUL way. This thread reminds me of a story I read a long time ago.

 

Threre was a man who dated a young woman for a few months. He was in love with her. While she liked him, her feelings were not the same. For her, it was simply too early in the game.

 

He decided the best way to her heart was by sharing his feelings. So he wrote her a love letter through the mail every other day. When she did not respond, he increased his output to every single day. This went on for several months. In all she received close to a hundred love letters through the mail. She did not respond to any.

 

It was later determned that she married the mailman.

 

The point of the story. Love is one of those rare human endeavors that works best when the least amount effort is involved. Those that try the very hardest are the most likely to fail.

 

Hard lessons learned. But valuable!!

[Dad_of_3]

First of all, I just wanted to say what an eye opening read.

 

Dont know why I am even reading in the Dating section but I guess its part of moving on in life.

 

For the last 3 months I have been stuck in the divorce and separation section. Coming to terms and grips of whats is happening with my stbxw. I've been separated for about 10 months now.

Bit of backgroud I guess ...

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=998344#post998344

 

I guess I'm at a point in time were moving on is meeting new people and hey if I happen to find someone even better.

 

I've actually found the courage to ask 2 people out to dinner.

1 purely as a friend. The other was because I felt an attraction to her.

She was a old work collegue from a previous job, and I must admit I had thought of her attractive during that time but never pursued it then during my marriage. Even though I did have 2 affairs which has led to my separation.

 

Now I only asked her out on Friday night, and even since then my head has been in a spin. Where do I take her? Should I give her flowers on the first date?

Putting too much emphasis on it. I cetainyl dont want to come across as needy or really attracted to her.

 

Rambling ... just wanted to say thanks, its made me pause and think as to why I am confident in myself and from the brief time we spoke there was something she did find something she liked to have said yes. I dont need to go further to prove my worth.

Who knows what is going to happen but I'll be myself and see what happens.

 

Cheers !

[luvtoto]

First of all, I just wanted to say what an eye opening read.

 

Dont know why I am even reading in the Dating section but I guess its part of moving on in life.

 

For the last 3 months I have been stuck in the divorce and separation section. Coming to terms and grips of whats is happening with my stbxw. I've been separated for about 10 months now.

Bit of backgroud I guess ...

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=998344#post998344

 

I guess I'm at a point in time were moving on is meeting new people and hey if I happen to find someone even better.

 

I've actually found the courage to ask 2 people out to dinner.

1 purely as a friend. The other was because I felt an attraction to her.

She was a old work collegue from a previous job, and I must admit I had thought of her attractive during that time but never pursued it then during my marriage. Even though I did have 2 affairs which has led to my separation.

 

Now I only asked her out on Friday night, and even since then my head has been in a spin. Where do I take her? Should I give her flowers on the first date?

Putting too much emphasis on it. I cetainyl dont want to come across as needy or really attracted to her.

 

Rambling ... just wanted to say thanks, its made me pause and think as to why I am confident in myself and from the brief time we spoke there was something she did find something she liked to have said yes. I dont need to go further to prove my worth.

Who knows what is going to happen but I'll be myself and see what happens.

 

Cheers !

My work is done.

[Dad_of_3]

My work is done.

 

Indeed it has lol

For a moment in time, I was wondering what the hell ???

Glad I jumped on here and having a word with friends.

 

Firm believer of strange things happen for a reason.

[luvtoto]

I never was a typical NG.

Why do I find that easy to believe.

[greyskies]

nope...they were instructions on how to keep women around. it works, trust me.

 

I am a sucker for JERKS like the one you describe!!

[DanielMadr]

Why do I find that easy to believe.

 

Simply put. You know there are Weak guys and Strong guys. Weak guys get nervous about everything. Strong guys get nervous around woman they love.

 

I will speak for the strong guys (believe it or not):

 

You need experience or information (thanks) to handle yourself around women. You cant get it living in army barracks with 500 other guys....yeah the smell is awfull too You need female-friends who can be honest with you, which is hard, when they fall in love with you and they do, because you are strong and you dont dig them. Paradox. God bless anonymous internet

 

We can say if we LOVE the girl in 3 hours max. We dont have to keep a distance and take it slow to shield our heart or your heart - we wont reject you and we dont fear rejection ourselves, + we are not worried we would be labeled sl@ts. We are nice because we already love you and we dont mind to open up - we are not afraid of what you will see or misuse it. We dont project confidence, because you are little kitties not an enemy. And we dont profess self-control because we are not in the battle. Yeah you can control us with your pvssy, so what, thats a deal init? Why are we in love so early? We dont care about your hunting skills

 

But women cant tell the difference between weak and strong man when they behave the same and if she doesnt know him for long (problem of civilisation and cities probably).

 

So....now I bit my tongue everytime I want to say something nice too early and I behave as aloof as I am able to. More women you know, more picky you are and longer it takes to fall in love(2 dates). But still it is a game and I despise it. What shocks me is....you have to be pretty hard on women these days to get positive results. Spoiled????

 

Like my buddy said....' If she(e.g. strange girl in bar) answers :'Yes' to my question: 'Do you wanna f@ck?' I will marry her'

[alphamale]

Like my buddy said....' If she(e.g. strange girl in bar) answers :'Yes' to my question: 'Do you wanna f@ck?' I will marry her'

why? her response would be the same to every dude who asks that question. you buddy is an idiot...no wonder he's in bars picking up chicks.

[whichwayisup]

Indeed it has lol

For a moment in time, I was wondering what the hell ???

Glad I jumped on here and having a word with friends.

 

Firm believer of strange things happen for a reason.

Dont know why I am even reading in the Dating section but I guess its part of moving on in life.

 

Dad_of_3, it's time you ventured off into other sections of LS and have some fun! Try the watercooler area, and confession/rants...Even the sex section shares some laughs and stuff there too.

 

Good for you though for going on afew dates!

[CaliGuy]

If you've ever been told that famous one-liner by a woman..."Hey! I like you but, you are just too nice"

 

Then, please read below...

 

When you start dating someone new, please quit trying to earn their love. If a woman decides to go out with you in the first place, then there is something about you that she likes.

 

You shouldn't have to work for her attention after she agrees to go out with you. Just say to yourself..."I deserve her!!"

 

Nice guys lack confidence. But, the only way to get out of that rut is to believe you are worthy.

 

Here is a list of some mistakes nice guys make too early on in relationships. IMO!!

 

In a young relationship (1-4 mo) dont...:

• shower her with flowers, gifts..or try to win her heart with monetary items.
  
• be overly nice and think chivelry will win her over.
  
• hug & kiss excessively.
  
• overwhelm her by introducing your curious family members to her.
  
• buy chocolates.
  
• write love letters.
  
• take up all her time on the phone or by seeing her.
  
• bring up any future plans.
  
• profess any kind of undivided love to her.
  
• give her your undivided attention.
  
• be a doormat.
  
• be only the giver in a relationship.

These things do not win a woman's heart or build respect for you.

 

I am not saying to never do these things for a woman you love later on when you KNOW that she cares. But give those things to a woman because you love her...not because you are trying to *win* her heart.

 

I don't know what everyone else thinks of my thread, but like I said...these are things that I find annoying when dating new men.

 

I agree 100% and would add men should read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" (Glover) (and if they display this kind of behavior) as it shows how to be a confident, secure man and how to lose the door mat inside them.

 

Women are attracted to confident, secure, happy (and funny) men. Not men who give up their personal power in exchange for love and affection. It's the biggest attraction killer there is.

 

Good post, LTT

[CaliGuy]

Let me just add...

 

Nice Guys who are door mats will probably NOT heed this advice simply because a door mat nice guy never takes reponsibility for his own shortcomings ("Oh, she just loves bad boys" or "Hey, I was a nice guy to her and she dumped me, it's HER fault..."). They never seem to understand that by being a push over/door mat nice guy they actually KILL any attraction that might have existed.

 

Even though many "self proclaimed nice guys" will read this thread, few (if any) will actually look at the advice objectively and understand they fit the mold. Fewer still will actually do something about it until they have been walked over many, many times.

 

Alpha's comments on "how hard it was to overcome NG syndrome" rings true. It's excrutiatingly difficult but possible. It does take a lot of self-discpline and starts first with understanding you need to learn to love and respect yourself before anyone else will. Build healthy levels of self-confidence and the rest becomes easier.

 

Most door mat nice guys suffer from negative CBT (they constantly tell themselves they aren't good enough for anyone and thus create a self-fulfilling prophecy). Until they learn to stop the self-made negative reinforcement -- they'll STAY being a door mat.

[DanielMadr]

why? her response would be the same to every dude who asks that question. you buddy is an idiot...no wonder he's in bars picking up chicks.

 

He is just ANTI-GAME type of guy I think and he doesnt mind she was banging others while she is banging him.

[luvtoto]

you can control us with your pvssy, so what, thats a deal init?

DanielMadr, now that is just rude. I find many of your posts offensive. Do you still think women are like terrorists??

[rglove]

If you've ever been told that famous one-liner by a woman..."Hey! I like you but, you are just too nice"

 

Then, please read below...

 

When you start dating someone new, please quit trying to earn their love. If a woman decides to go out with you in the first place, then there is something about you that she likes.

 

You shouldn't have to work for her attention after she agrees to go out with you. Just say to yourself..."I deserve her!!"

 

Nice guys lack confidence. But, the only way to get out of that rut is to believe you are worthy.

 

Here is a list of some mistakes nice guys make too early on in relationships. IMO!!

 

In a young relationship (1-4 mo) dont...:

• shower her with flowers, gifts..or try to win her heart with monetary items.
  
• be overly nice and think chivelry will win her over.
  
• hug & kiss excessively.
  
• overwhelm her by introducing your curious family members to her.
  
• buy chocolates.
  
• write love letters.
  
• take up all her time on the phone or by seeing her.
  
• bring up any future plans.
  
• profess any kind of undivided love to her.
  
• give her your undivided attention.
  
• be a doormat.
  
• be only the giver in a relationship.

These things do not win a woman's heart or build respect for you.

 

I am not saying to never do these things for a woman you love later on when you KNOW that she cares. But give those things to a woman because you love her...not because you are trying to *win* her heart.

 

I don't know what everyone else thinks of my thread, but like I said...these are things that I find annoying when dating new men.

 

 

 

I Disagree, first of all with the fact that nice guys lack confidence, for I am a nice guy and I don't, in fact, there are some females that would say, I'm full of myself, which is often times accurate, it's not that nice guys lack confident, it that the non-confident guys try to make up for it by being extra nice, in hopes it'll keep a woman around. And except for don't be a doormat and don't be the only giver in the relationship, everything else depends upon the individual your dating and what there nature, personality is and also the nature of your relationship. Like, I would say, don't overwhelm her by introducing your curious family members to her "too early" and don't bring up any future plans are good if your just dating casually and don't know each other that well yet, but if its someone you've been friendly with and devoloping a close relationship with for a while different story. I do and would do a lot of the things you mention not to, but that's just my personality type, me as a romantic, and the women who know and love me appreciate that about me!!!

[luvtoto]

I Disagree, first of all with the fact that nice guys lack confidence, for I am a nice guy and I don't, in fact, there are some females that would say, I'm full of myself, which is often times accurate, it's not that nice guys lack confident, it that the non-confident guys try to make up for it by being extra nice, in hopes it'll keep a woman around. And except for don't be a doormat and don't be the only giver in the relationship, everything else depends upon the individual your dating and what there nature, personality is and also the nature of your relationship. Like, I would say, don't overwhelm her by introducing your curious family members to her "too early" and don't bring up any future plans are good if your just dating casually and don't know each other that well yet, but if its someone you've been friendly with and devoloping a close relationship with for a while different story. I do and would do a lot of the things you mention not to, but that's just my personality type, me as a romantic, and the women who know and love me appreciate that about me!!!

 

I can see where you thought that I was slamming on the typical-balanced NG. I am sorry I wasn't.

 

When a woman breaks it off with a guy because he is "too nice", then they get dubbed a "nice guy". It's just a phrase people use.

 

In this thread, by saying someone is a "nice guy", I mean someone who sucks up to his woman in a new relationship. This sucking up feels like manipulation, in my opinion.

 

It's very annoying, and kills any feelings that might have been there in the beginning.