why do taken men look at porn??

[Porn_Guy]

i look at porn all the time but i'm not taken. im a college student. everyone looks at porn up here.

[Annyka]

I have no problem with my husband looking at porn. Never have and never will. (except if it took more time than he cared to give me). He looks at porn after I've gone to bed, when I am feeling too tired to satisfy him. Or when he's feeling bored. It's fine. I get turned on by words and sounds, he get's turned on by porn. Occasionally we share watching porn together. It's not like it's a 'live' person interacting with him.

[rainfall]

You have to accept that there are always going to be people in this world more attractive than you. There are many guys more attractive than me, but there is only one person who is right for me, and it works in reverse. If you can accept that love is more than just physical attraction and that guys aren't always sex-obsessed simpletons, and if you can maintain your basic level of attractiveness physically while getting into a guy's head, you'll be able to do things to your man that no other woman could possibly do. I'm talking about the essence of being a good lover. A new woman outside your relationship has the advantage of being fresh, of having a clean slate; as someone in a relationship, you have the advantage of knowing your man, knowing what turns him on, what turns him on, history, and being his base of support. And if you do the job right, a real man worth keeping would usually not risk losing that. Some men are ballsy and stupid, but would you want that in a guy?

 

I know there will always be people more attractive than me. However, I expect the man who says he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me not to care. If he wants to sleep with other women and I am the only thing holding him back from everything he desires then he can leave. I think its really pathetic to expect women to be happy knowing her man is not 100% happy to be with her and only her.

 

If someone isn't making their partner happy enough where they don't desire someone esle they should leave. There probably would be alot of single people if this happened, but I think it would be better then for two people to be miserable while they are together.

 

I just don't see how you can tell me that it is ok for my SO to tell me how much he loves me and yet it is ok for him to want to sleep with every hot chick he sees. It is not OK. It is a sign of problems in the relationship. I have never desired anyone besides the person I am dating and I expect the same from them. If they can't give that to me they can get out.

[amerikajin]

You are right about that. It's about women who want one guy to love them and care for them and that guy thinking about all the other women he doesn't have. Why are women working hard to make a guy in a relationship happy if that is the outcome? It is a crappy time to be a woman. Guys don't offer too much worth respecting in a relationship anymore.

 

How you've characterized it above is not really how I look at a guy who looks at porn, although I hasten to point out we're talking about a variable situation here. I guess I'm not so much depending porn watching, per se, and to be honest, if anything gets in the way of monogamy as the occasional porn obsession can at times, I think that's something that needs to be addressed. I'm just saying that boys will be boys and girls will be girls. There are times when we think "I'd like to f**k that" even when we're happily married and I don't think that's immoral as long as those thoughts are kept in check and discretion is used.

 

My ex fiance and I would talk from time to time about guys we'd see on TV. She thought "The Rock" (of WWE fame) was hot and I knew exactly what she meant. I mean, yeah, the guy's a stud, no doubt about it. I know that secretly she probably wanted to say "I'd do him - if we weren't in a relationship and teh situation presented itself, that is" and knowing that doesn't bother me. If, on the other hand, had said "Why can't you look like that?" That definitely WOULD bother me. I think the problem is that women automatically assume that this is the kind of message that a guy is sending to his woman when he looks at porn, but that is not necessarily the message at all. The message is, I like beautiful women, and the reality is that, as much as I love my wife, sometimes my wife has her period and sometimes I need some good wank material, and well, I'll go back to humpin' my wife next week but tonight it's me and Paris Hilton alone in my mind and the in the shower.

 

Then don't get in a relationship. It's quite simple to understand really. If men are so against being commited to one female, don't do it. But don't get into ar elationship and make your woman take the brunt of the pain and frustration because you can't respect and love her like she deserves because your need to think about other women out weighs anything she could mean to you. This is why I don't even understand why men have relationships. Men Love love love driving it home how unimportant their woman is to them because they need different women to be happy. Must make men feel good to treat women like open holes that don't deserve to be cared about.

 

You're automatically making the leap from a man's desire to release some of his sexuality into a lack of desire for his woman - I can't tell you enough that this is not the case all the time. In some cases, it is the case, but I would also bet there are underlying problems at play, not just a man's interest in porn.

 

Again, it depends on the situation. If you have a good sex life and you catch him jerking it while looking at a naked internet chick, that doesn't mean anything. If the sex life is bad and you repeatedly catch him downloading porn, that is definitely a red flag and needs to be addressed. I will caution you, though, that how you do it can make a big difference in terms of how willing a man will be to listen to you. If you act insecure and start berating him, that's a huge turnoff and that may backfire big time and cause him to distance himself from you further. I know it's hard because you have feelings involved, but you've got to try to handle it in a mature manner. He naturally has a similar obligation.

 

What is the point? Seriously. From what you have said it doesn't matter what a woman does, how attractive she keeps herself, how loving she is to her man, how many sexual fantasies she tries out with him. At the end of the day, he can't care or love or respect her. All he is thinking about is the women he doesn't have. Men don't make it worth while to want to do these things. Maybe this is why so many women let themselves go and stop having sex with their man. Maybe they say "No matter what I do for him it is never good enough." So they get tired of trying and just stop.

 

That is not what I've said at all - you've naturally formed that conclusion on your own because you are insecure and you insist on seeing porn as a form of cheating and seeing it as immoral. Not everyone sees it the same way at all, and if you're willing to throw away a relationship just because a guy likes to have sexual fantasies that occasionally don't involve you, then I can see why you're asking yourself the question "What's the point?" The point? Honey, the point is God gave him a schlong, two balls and a lot of testosterone. He's going to be horny for a long, long time - deal with it. You should be glad knowing that despite his fantasies, he chooses to be with you (assuming of course you don't have evidence to the contrary, but that's a separate discussion).

 

Yes but you leave out one key thing. Women have more of a driving *need* to feel beautiful to their mate. Men don't have this same need. Men aren't judged so harshly for the way they look. You tell women not to expect a basic need of theirs because other women are more beautiful, and you take away something very important to women that makes her feel like a woman. I don't think it is asking too much to have the *one* guy that claims he loves you think you are the most beautiful. But guys rather validate other women and their beauty over their own SOs. That reeks of seflishness and it makes me have a very sad negative opinion of men. How would men feel to know their women were validating other men for the money they make over their SOs or for the bigger cocks they have or for how much taller they are. Think about the things, as a man, that you are insecure about, then think how you as a man would feel if your woman was validating those things in another man.

 

I agree that this is the case and that is why I think men obviously do have to be sensitive about this issue with women. I do not advocate a man simply ignoring his wife's concerns over porn, particularly if there is clear evidence that he is spending more time fantasizing about sex than actually having sex with his partner. What I'm saying is I think it helps to address the actual problems based on the evidence you have, not attacking a man when you have no reason to.

 

If a guy is spending time at the computer and not sleeping with you, that's a problem - deal with it by communicating with him about it and establishing expectations.

 

If a guy is always downloading gobs of porn to the point where you file space is full, and if he's doing this behind your back, there's a problem - deal with it.

 

If a guy is telling you that you're not as good looking as this chick he found in a magazine, then he's a disrespectful bastard who needs to be dumped. Again, deal with the problems that you know about.

 

But a guy who obviously loves you and makes love to you two or three times a week and has been otherwise faithful....find out what the porn means to him and take it from there. And expect that he might be defensive and evasive at first, as he'll be embarrassed that he's been outed. But if you create a climate in which you can talk about it with each other, I think you'll probably come a lot closer to an understanding you both can live with. I'm not saying "Accept porn", I'm saying accept that boys will be boys, and that boys get horny (as do girls for that matter) and don't freak out if you find out that have a wild array of sexual fantasies, some of which don't always involve you.

[EnigmaXOXO]

I think it's fair to say that everyone has sexual fantasies. Females, too. But when you are in a relationship with someone it isn't always wise to disclose to your partner who you're having sex with (in your mind) when you're making love to them or yanking one off in the shower. Unless you are absolutely certain that your partner is either ambivalent and/or turned on by having that kind of information. Otherwise, harmless or not, that lack of discretion can result in some real hurt feelings.

 

Porn is much like that to some of us. Although I've never been with a partner who's vigorously pursued the hobby while in a relationship … I can certainly imagine being put off by that sort of thing if they lacked the tact or self control to at least be somewhat discrete about it. Stumbling into a room and catching your partner going at it like a happy retard might initially be a turn on … UNTIL you see the image of some other bimbo (or himbo) plastered across their computer monitor. Who wants the actual visual of their partner being completely enamored and turned on by someone else?

 

To me … it would be the equivalent of having your partner accidentally call out someone else's name while you were making love to them. I'm not going to lie or pretend to be ambivalent for the sake of appearing 'secure' … my feelings would be really hurt like some of the other ladies who share their stories here.

[amerikajin]

I think it's fair to say that everyone has sexual fantasies. Females, too. But when you are in a relationship with someone it isn't always wise to disclose to your partner who you're having sex with (in your mind) when you're making love to them or yanking one off in the shower. Unless you are absolutely certain that your partner is either ambivalent and/or turned on by having that kind of information. Otherwise, harmless or not, that lack of discretion can result in some real hurt feelings.

 

Porn is much like that to some of us. Although I've never been with a partner who's vigorously pursued the hobby while in a relationship … I can certainly imagine being put off by that sort of thing if they lacked the tact or self control to at least be somewhat discrete about it. Stumbling into a room and catching your partner going at it like a happy retard might initially be a turn on … UNTIL you see the image of some other bimbo (or himbo) plastered across their computer monitor. Who wants the actual visual of their partner being completely enamored and turned on by someone else?

 

To me … it would be the equivalent of having your partner accidentally call out someone else's name while you were making love to them. I'm not going to lie or pretend to be ambivalent for the sake of appearing 'secure' … my feelings would be really hurt like some of the other ladies who share their stories here.

 

Very good post.

 

I agree, and I think that's why I've advocated discretion. We all have fantasies...just try to keep those fantasies in check and, even better, don't disclose them.

[norajane]

Love, I don't give a toss about it really, but the importance of my looks is really what i care about.

 

 

Wow. Well, I'm not sure what to say to that, except that it's helped to explain a little of why this porn issue is so hurtful.

 

I think women are selling themselves short if they believe that looks are the the most important part of their appeal to their SO's. And I think women are selling their men short if they believe that looks are the most important element of why their men love them.

 

Your man was probably initially attracted to you because of how you look. But that's not why he fell in love with you. He fell in love because of how he feels when he's with you. Because you make him feel like Superman. Because you laugh at his stupid jokes, and because you are hot for him. Because you know that Spiro Agnew's middle name starts with a T, or because of the way your eyes light up when you see him. And because of a million other little things that are special between you.

 

If you think your looks are all you've got that would make him want you, then I can understand how him looking at porn women or any other women would make you want to scratch his eyes out.

[Jersey Shortie]

If you act insecure and start berating him, that's a huge turnoff and that may backfire big time and cause him to distance himself from you further.

 

I am sure that is just as much a turn off as it is to know he is thinking about implanted bimbos who wouldn't care if he got hit by a bus tomorrow.

 

 

That is not what I've said at all - you've naturally formed that conclusion on your own because you are insecure and you insist on seeing porn as a form of cheating and seeing it as immoral.

 

First, I do see porn as a form of cheating and it is immoral. Basically men are living out their fantasty to want to be with other. It's like drinking a diet coke when you want a real coke. You are still doing it, it's just the watered down version.

 

Second, Hello! Yes I am insecure about this issue as are millions of other women. Men put women in porn on a certain looks based pedestal. Combined it with how much men defend porn and how much they love it and seek out despite having a regular SO, that breeds insecurity. How are women suppose to know their place with their guy if he is seeking out other women and thinking about them. Please, men can't be this selfish. Then again, I become more and more certain of men's selfishness as this post continues on. Men just care about themselves, screw their women, they aren't important. What is important is the porno.

 

 

 

...

then I can see why you're asking yourself the question "What's the point?" The point? Honey, the point is God gave him a schlong, two balls and a lot of testosterone. He's going to be horny for a long, long time - deal with it. You should be glad knowing that despite his fantasies, he chooses to be with you (assuming of course you don't have evidence to the contrary, but that's a separate discussion).

 

That in no way answered my question. I asked what is the point in trying to please a man, stay attractive for him, work to fullfill some fantasies if at the end of the day, what he really wants is other women. Instead you fed out some BS line about him having balls and a penis and you made up excuses for the simple fact that for women, men just don't make it worth it to want to work at a relatoinship. This is probably why women get fat and stop having sex with their husbands. What is the point? He isn't happy with what he has got and he never will be. Men are impossible to please. And all they apparently care about is their own pleasure.

 

 

If a guy is telling you that you're not as good looking as this chick he found in a magazine, then he's a disrespectful bastard who needs to be dumped. Again, deal with the problems that you know about.

 

No, it's only okay if he "thinks" it. But if he says it it is somehow disrespectful. That is what you are gelling me right? It's okay if he thinks other chicks are hotter. That isn't disrespectful. Only if he says it. Do you not see the stupidity in that?

 

..and don't freak out if you find out that have a wild array of sexual fantasies, some of which don't always involve you

 

Again, this proves my point that it isn't worth it trying to make men happy. They won't ever be happy with anything. Because men just want to take.

 

 

I think women are selling themselves short if they believe that looks are the the most important part of their appeal to their SO's. And I think women are selling their men short if they believe that looks are the most important element of why their men love them.

 

 

And I think men are selling their own women short by the continued defense of all things porn. It be nice for a change, just once, if men defended their own girls. But no, it always comes back to the porn being the thing that gets defended by men. It just goes to show what is more important to men.

 

" Because you make him feel like Superman. Because you laugh at his stupid jokes, and because you are hot for him. Because you know that Spiro Agnew's middle name starts with a T, or because of the way your eyes light up when you see him. And because of a million other little things that are special between you."

 

And while you are trying to make him feel like Superman he is jerking it off to the newest playboy model. While you are hot for him, he is hot for your sister or any thing else that has boobs. While your eyes are lighting up for him, his eyes are lighting up and the brand new porno star having sex on her head. Men are great and special like that. They really know how to make their women feel loved and safe.

[rainfall]

I think it's fair to say that everyone has sexual fantasies. Females, too. But when you are in a relationship with someone it isn't always wise to disclose to your partner who you're having sex with (in your mind) when you're making love to them or yanking one off in the shower. Unless you are absolutely certain that your partner is either ambivalent and/or turned on by having that kind of information. Otherwise, harmless or not, that lack of discretion can result in some real hurt feelings.

 

 

If you are pretending your partner is someone esle while you are sleeping with them it is not "making love." It is using them as a warm wet hole to get yourself off to someone you wish they were. Its also not fair to say everyone has sexual fantasies. You do not know what goes on in my head. I do not EVER have famtasies. My bf fulfills all me needs so I have no reason at all to wish he was someone esle.

[EnigmaXOXO]

Its also not fair to say everyone has sexual fantasies. You do not know what goes on in my head. I do not EVER have famtasies.

 

You're absolutely correct, Rainfall. "Everyone" was a bad choice of words on my part. I should have written: "most people."

 

But I think it's important to understand that it isn't uncommon or abnormal for people to have sexual fantasies even while they are in a committed relationship. (And I'm talking about "fantasies" and not porn addictions, here.) It doesn't necessarily mean that they don't love you, or wish they were with someone else. We'd be hard pressed to demand that our partners only masturbate to 'thoughts of us' and guilt-trip them with our own irrational jealousies. Do we get inside their heads and try to control their subconscious dreams as well? Do we go over the deep end and start considering "thought" a form of infidelity?

 

Here's an interesting article on the subject by Psychology Today.

 

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-1268.html

 

The association between fantasies and a healthy sex life is so strong, in fact, that it's now considered pathological not to have sexual fantasies.

 

And no wonder. Researchers studying sexual fantasies confirm that everyone has them, from adolescence onward. Well, almost everyone: About five percent of men and women say they have never had a sexual fantasy (or won't admit to it). Person believes that these fantasy-free folks are getting a vicarious fix elsewhere--from movies, for example. Or else they simply aren't paying attention to their own thoughts...

 

…But what we do know is proof enough that fantasies are an essential part of our sexual repertoire. Far from being a sign of sexual inadequacy or deprivation, fantasies are associated with a healthy, happy sex life. "The people who have the most sexual problems fantasize least," Leitenberg notes.

[lookingforalovethats]

me fiance looks at porn when im not in, why is this?, i find out because he doesnt think to delete the downloads off media player, i mean, we have sex every day so why does he do need to look at all this, am i right to feel hurt by this and not good enough or do men look at this in a diffrent way to us. i dont no how to feel but its making me feel sick and insecure.

 

 

i dont no how to feel but its making me feel sick and insecure.

THEN U TELL HIM THAT

BUT U DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME

I DID MY PORN STAGE ITS BORING NOW

PLUS I DON'T WANT IT ON MY COMPUTER WITH KIDS AROUND

AS FOR WHY THAT IS DOING IT

LOOKS LIKE HE'S THAT CRACXK COKE - PORN ANDS COKE ARE LINKS TO THE PLEASURE PRINCIPLE

OR HE JUST LIKE WATCHING THINGS GO IN AND OUT - IS HE A MECHANIAL ENGINEEER?

[amerikajin]

Final opinion on porn:

 

I can see how it's offensive to women, but I simultaneously hold that men just "do it" and it's not necessarily a criminal offense in marriage. I do think a woman has every right to find out about the need for porn, what it means to them and so forth, but it should be something that can be addressed openly in a non-hostile manner.

 

What I find about a lot of the women who abhor porn is that they are so incredibly insecure. I keep reading the same thing: "Well why even bother dating men anymore?" That just smacks of tremendous insecurity, and it's not very attractive.

[norajane]

Its also not fair to say everyone has sexual fantasies. You do not know what goes on in my head. I do not EVER have famtasies. My bf fulfills all me needs so I have no reason at all to wish he was someone esle.

 

Really? Wow. I don't fantasize during sex, but I can't have an orgasm during masturbation without fantasizing - it's not enough to stimulate my body; my mind needs to be engaged as well.

 

It must be really hard for you to understand what everyone's talking about then when they speak of the erotic turn-on of a fantasy. As I mentioned in one of these porn threads, it's often the action in porn that is the turn-on for men, and not the women. It's what the women are doing that is erotic - men get turned on by watching people having sex.

 

Women's fantasies can be like that, too. I don't fantasize about guys other than my boyfriend, not specific guys anyway. Sometimes he's the star of my masturbation fantasy, and sometimes there are nameless, faceless men. It's more the scenario and the action that is the turn-on for me, rather than the people.

 

If you have an interest in understanding women's fantasies better, try reading "Women on Top" by Nancy Friday. She compiled a collection of women's fantasies (printed exactly as submitted by the women), and provides a psychological analysis behind them. She also has a book on men's fantasies and why, "Men in Love".

[Jersey Shortie]

"I can see how it's offensive to women, but I simultaneously hold that men just "do it" and it's not necessarily a criminal offense in marriage."

 

So as a man, you can see how it is offensive to women. Yet, you don't care because you have a greater desire to "bust a nut" rather then care about the disrespect it causes to women.

 

 

 

I keep reading the same thing: "Well why even bother dating men anymore?"

 

Well honestly, why? Why should women be dating men. Please enlighten me. Men are so vocal in defending porn. WHy don't you for a change be vocal in why women should be dating men? What do men provide for women that it is worthwhile?

 

 

 

That just smacks of tremendous insecurity, and it's not very attractive.

 

It's not very attractive to know the one man that is suppose to be committed to you is thinking about any other women he can't have. Not attractive and doesn't make me feel like being close to him or working at pleasing him. No point in it really.

[cutegirl]

Love, I don't give a toss about it really, but the importance of my looks is really what i care about. I can't handle being in the presence of a female who's thinner and prettier than me, whether its in the flesh or onscreen or whatever.

 

I'm the same way myself about looks, but the truth about men is that they might even want to bang a woman who is uglier than the girl they are with or even more unattractive. It's all about the vagina. Or about the sexual fetish they have they want fullfilled.

 

Don't just be threatened by good looking women but ugly ones too, because a lot of men cheat on their significant others with women who are more unattracive than their partners.

[Touche]

What's with those last two posts? That's really sad.

 

Be threatened by everyone? Men are scum? They cheat on everyone and cheat with skanks? Wow. Maybe you should re-assess the type of guys you meet. Newsflash: They're not ALL like that.

 

What do men provide that is so worthwhile? How about love and companionship? How about friendship? How about the fact that some of them can make us feel like a real woman? What about the feeling that comes from knowing that we can make him feel like a real man?

 

Have you guys not experienced this yet?

 

So what if my man fantasizes about another woman occasionally? I mean I don't know that he does but I assume so. He's human. I certainly fantasize about others on occasion. Does that mean that I actually want another man? Of course not!

 

Really, you two. Get real!

[Pyro]

What's with those last two posts? That's really sad.

 

Be threatened by everyone? Men are scum? They cheat on everyone and cheat with skanks? Wow. Maybe you should re-assess the type of guys you meet. Newsflash: They're not ALL like that.

 

What do men provide that is so worthwhile? How about love and companionship? How about friendship? How about the fact that some of them can make us feel like a real woman? What about the feeling that comes from knowing that we can make him feel like a real man?

 

Have you guys not experienced this yet?

 

So what if my man fantasizes about another woman occasionally? I mean I don't know that he does but I assume so. He's human. I certainly fantasize about others on occasion. Does that mean that I actually want another man? Of course not!

 

Really, you two. Get real!

 

Good post Touche.

 

You reap what you sow. You keep thinking negatively, your results will be the same.

[Touche]

Good post Touche.

 

You reap what you sow. You keep thinking negatively, your results will be the same.

 

Thanks, Rid! Yep..I agree. The more they keep thinking that way, the more their attitudes will be confirmed. It's really pretty simple.

 

And it's funny how people who think like this seem to be magnets for the people who will further confirm their attitudes. It's just funny how that works, isn't it?

[Pyro]

Thanks, Rid! Yep..I agree. The more they keep thinking that way, the more their attitudes will be confirmed. It's really pretty simple.

 

And it's funny how people who think like this seem to be magnets for the people who will further confirm their attitudes. It's just funny how that works, isn't it?

 

Funny, but unfortunate. One of life's imperfections.

[IpAncA]

Well I'm sure every guy now and then has looked at porn. If not then I don't know how they managed that one.

 

I understand where both sides are coming from. But like I've said before, I better not hear him say that wants to screw any of them or perfer looking at them over me. I don't want to know about it because all it's going to do is cause problems. Sure he looks at it and he knows how I feel about it but I try not to let it bother me because he's going to look at it no matter what. It's kind of funny actually.

 

A friend of mine's H looks at porn too and she thinks that it's considered cheating and what not. While some others may not have a problem with this, she does. They have talked about it but he doesn't listen so she just trys to ignore it.

 

I think that if the guy knows that it bothers their girl then simply adjust to it and stop. I know that may seem harsh but hey a lot of people have stong views about porn and will not change because one couple says that looking at porn is ok because it doesn't mean anything. Well to them it doesn't and what works for them may not work for others.

[Jersey Shortie]

"Be threatened by everyone? Men are scum? They cheat on everyone and cheat with skanks? Wow."

 

I don't remember every saying men were scum. However, men aren't perfect and I won't pretend they are. There are many things about men I like and enjoy. However, there are also somethings about men that are hurtful and selfish. And I think men should know what these things are.

 

 

 

What do men provide that is so worthwhile? How about love and companionship? How about friendship? How about the fact that some of them can make us feel like a real woman?

 

I know I always feel like more of a beautiful special woman in his life after knowing you masturbated to Housewives 4. (please note the dry sarcasticness)

 

 

 

What about the feeling that comes from knowing that we can make him feel like a real man?

 

 

It seems like any girl in porn can also make him feel like a man. No need for me to be doing it. Especially since porn is on this higher level of fantasy to men. No need to put in the effort.

Have you guys not experienced this yet?

 

Does that mean that I actually want another man? Of course not!

 

I am not saying it is more right for women to fantasize then men. However, there is a key point you leave out in this. Women are more hard-wired for less partners. So I think the way women fantasize and the way men do are two differenthings. Maybe you wouldn't acutally want these women, but I think men would. So you know what, that is what men should be doing. I don't think men have what it takes to be in loyal, loving relationships. Men just aren't very trustworthy and maybe that is because of their nature. Sucks for women but that is how it is.

 

Really, you two. Get real!

 

I never been more real then this. There was a time when I thought men were the greatest thing since sliced bread and didn't have all this bitterness. Well, unfortunetly I had to learn the hard way what men are really about.

[rainfall]

But I think it's important to understand that it isn't uncommon or abnormal for people to have sexual fantasies even while they are in a committed relationship. (And I'm talking about "fantasies" and not porn addictions, here.) It doesn't necessarily mean that they don't love you, or wish they were with someone else. We'd be hard pressed to demand that our partners only masturbate to 'thoughts of us' and guilt-trip them with our own irrational jealousies. Do we get inside their heads and try to control their subconscious dreams as well? Do we go over the deep end and start considering "thought" a form of infidelity?

 

Here's an interesting article on the subject by Psychology Today.

 

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-1268.html

 

Sorry, but the article is a load of crap. I have a healthy and fulfilling sex life which is why I don't want to sleep with other people. I think the people who have to fantasize are the ones who aren't happy with their sex life. I know alot of you will disagree and thats fine, but there is no way you guys will convince me it is healthy to want to sleep with every attractive person you see especially when you have someone you claim you love.

[cutegirl]

 

I think that if the guy knows that it bothers their girl then simply adjust to it and stop.

 

It's not that easy for a man to quit porn because most guys start jerking off and watching porn very young, around the age when they were in 7th or 8th grade (around 13-14 yrs old)... Well, my ex bf's told me that's when they started masturbating watching their dad's stash around junior high years. And it's a very DEEPLY INGRAINED habit, most men have been jerking off 3-4 times a week or even MUCH more since PUBERTY.

 

If a guy is 30 years old he's probably been jerking it over 15 years already, it's like a routine for them, kind of like showering or brushing your teeth. I think for most men it's VERY HARD to just stop abruptly like that, because it's something the GREW UP DOING day in day out.

 

Most young guys, 99% watch porn now. When their young, they get it from their dad, or their friends, or internet now. And they are conditioned to use this material when jerking so they become dependent on it. But if even if there WASN'T any porn around, men would STILL be jerking it and STILL FANTASIZING ABOUT OTHER WOMEN, since they have been since the beginning of time. And nothing will make them stop it.

[IpAncA]

It's not that easy for a man to quit porn because most guys start jerking off and watching porn very young, around the age when they were in 7th or 8th grade (around 13-14 yrs old)... Well, my ex bf's told me that's when they started masturbating watching their dad's stash around junior high years. And it's a very DEEPLY INGRAINED habit, most men have been jerking off 3-4 times a week or even MUCH more since PUBERTY.

 

If a guy is 30 years old he's probably been jerking it over 15 years already, it's like a routine for them, kind of like showering or brushing your teeth. I think for most men it's VERY HARD to just stop abruptly like that, because it's something the GREW UP DOING day in day out.

 

Most young guys, 99% watch porn now. When their young, they get it from their dad, or their friends, or internet now. And they are conditioned to use this material when jerking so they become dependent on it. But if even if there WASN'T any porn around, men would STILL be jerking it and STILL FANTASIZING ABOUT OTHER WOMEN, since they have been since the beginning of time. And nothing will make them stop it.

Yeah I understand what your saying but sometimes guys can take it to far and disregard their partners feelings.

 

I'm just saying that if their partner has a problem with it they should both talk about it because if not then it's going to cause problems.

 

Just look at some of the people here that don't like it at all. If they end up with someone who does and they don't like their partner looking at it and their partner does it anyways, its going to cause problems.

[amerikajin]

It's not that easy for a man to quit porn because most guys start jerking off and watching porn very young, around the age when they were in 7th or 8th grade (around 13-14 yrs old)... Well, my ex bf's told me that's when they started masturbating watching their dad's stash around junior high years. And it's a very DEEPLY INGRAINED habit, most men have been jerking off 3-4 times a week or even MUCH more since PUBERTY.

 

If a guy is 30 years old he's probably been jerking it over 15 years already, it's like a routine for them, kind of like showering or brushing your teeth. I think for most men it's VERY HARD to just stop abruptly like that, because it's something the GREW UP DOING day in day out.

 

Most young guys, 99% watch porn now. When their young, they get it from their dad, or their friends, or internet now. And they are conditioned to use this material when jerking so they become dependent on it. But if even if there WASN'T any porn around, men would STILL be jerking it and STILL FANTASIZING ABOUT OTHER WOMEN, since they have been since the beginning of time. And nothing will make them stop it.

 

I actually don't watch porn and I've never actually been into it, to be honest; it's just not my thing. But the majority of guys do occasionally get off to porn and I don't think a woman can necessarily begrudge a man for doing that, within limits of course. I think this is one of those things that is complicated by our own society's abnormal abhorrence for the human body while simultaneously enjoying a hypocritical thrill behind closed doors. Europe and other parts of the world are much more advanced - and frankly, just downright more honest - in their thinking than the good old U.S. of A. in this respect.

 

I don't watch porn, but you're absolutely right: even though hard porn isn't on my pc, I do get off by visualizing other fantasies. Personally, I dig athleticor fitness chicks in bikinis. Hardly porn, but no less arousing for me in my case. Even if you take away the porn, you can't take away a man's fantasies - I've wanked many a time just to the very thoughts inside my head. Some of the most powerful non-intercourse orgasms I've ever had, in fact.