why do taken men look at porn??

[pyroguy]

Wow, I can't believe this post is still going. I had posted previously that I understand Jersey. My issue with her was that the thread should have been people-men and women, and it's just not porn.

 

I had pointed out to her all the hypocrisy and even provided the male stripper clip, but she, and other woman blew it off-very predictable.

 

The problem here is that we're in a dangerous time. I've come to think that men and women don't belong together in a committed relationship. Jersey may be right, but it's both men and women. I think both sexes are never really satisfied with what they have, and it's newer and growing at an alarming rate for women. There are a few reason for this:

1) people simply look better and sexier today than ever. I mean cary Grant or some other male star may have been handsome, but he didnt have the physiques that are out there today. This goes for the women also.

2) This is thrust upon us all day-every day- looks, money, sex, cheating, etc.,

3) Womens equality, empowerment and sexuality. This seals the deal on the female side.

 

See, It;s a terrible thing, but I've said it before, and Ill say it again, many women are not attracted to their man. I know women will say that its simply not true, but I think the proof is in the pudding. Why are just as many women cheating today? why is it probably close to 50%. Why do women act the way they do as in the clip I provided in this thread? Women have invented a more mature exuse- the emotional needs theory because they still feel it immature to not be attracted to the hubby and wanting others just for sex.

 

I think people are being very very dishonest in society today. I hate the word secure and insecure. i think it was a word invented by those who want to act in any manner they wish, and if their SO reacts negatively, that's the label they receive. i think it was invented by women-Jersey says men;) -of course. For all the men and women out there who also claim fantasy isn't the same as want, are you sure about that? common, yes it is. Maybe not in a literal sense, as in you will now make a play for the person in your fantasies, but when you are thinking of them, you want them on some level. And yes, I've been guily of that. The difference between me and many other so called secure people who think it's just great is that I feel somewhat guilty, recognize what it is, and think of my wife's attributes quickly-instead of thinking that it's ALWAYS ok to think of others. At the very least, it's not a great feeling.

 

For the women, are you telling me that when your guys sees the porn movie, and you don't look like those girls or goes to a strip club, that it has no effect on you? See, this is all Jersey is saying, and I think Moose doesn't understand that in the mind of those people who either think or know they don't look like that, it's an issue. Why wouldn't it be? Moose mentions his wife who looks like that. Well, then of course it's not an issue for her. What if she didn't look like that? See, I'm also insecure by people's definition, but I proudly admit it. I believe that what others call insecure (and they may be right), is also extreme realism-maybe it can be both. Again, I think too many people are "secure" .Guys, keep thinking your lady is so turned on by you after she sees Brad Pitt or comes home from the male strippers and your not in great shape. It's not realistic, and womens behavior today proves it- in my opinion.

 

By the way, i've also revealed that It's not a personal thing. I was an athlete, still workout 5 days a week (but I'm not exactly stripper material now), and still feel that way. that feeling has no set parameters or charcteristics. I've also seen the wives of 30-something or 40-something husbands look at me. Instead of getting a high, it's an empty compliment. i feel bad for the guy, and yes, I know it doesn't mean they want to sleep with me, but it must be disconcerting for the husband- it would be for me. I swear, I've actually seen that in their eyes.

 

See Moose, like you, I've also been around. I saw more in one year bartending when I was younger than I care to remember. Also, I've done a lot of snooping and research. Why would a married guy do that? well, I actually wanted to write a book about the state of the country etc., and this type of material would have been a mere chapter. Instead, i have found that it could be whole book itself. To me the news isn't good for so many of the reasons I listed. I would tell people not to be that secure- just bury it, which is what most of you do. In the end, that reaction is probably right because if you obsess on how your partner desires others and all the people physically superior to you, then no relationships will take place-except the most beautiful people in the world. Its the one reality we cannot admit or we have to cease as a society.

 

Let me leave you with one more example Moose. Like one of the posters here, your wife goes to the male strip show, then comes home horny as hell- most likely more than she ever is for you alone. Unless, you look like them, are you still completely turned on and completely "secure" and women, what do you think men should do with that inormation after you come home with that reaction? I know that reasoning will be, she chose to come home to have sex with the real thing. or, is she just really honoring the marriage contract. Why are so may women marrying guys who are not as attractive, and end up desiring others. Isn't it true that your with him because, yes, he has other attributes, but unfortunately because you feel more secure with him, or that you don't get approached by the model or stripper, and you don't want to wonder what the great looking is doing every time he's not with you. Common, you know it hits home, is food for thought, but you hate to admit it.

 

How does this tie in with the original point? I think it all ties into the overall theme of today- that everyone seems to want someone else. So, yes, Jersey I address it and agree to a point, it's just both sexes, that's all. The problem for you is you're still single. The other thing is if you don't bury the feeling, you and a lot of other people can never be in relationships. Believe me, my wife seems to be the complete opposite, and tells me repeatedly that she has no use for other guys, but I still have those feeling. I just bury them, hope I have a gem, do my best to look good and treat her right, and hope for the best. I think you'll find that you have to do the same thing.

 

For the records, if a gal finds it that demoralizing, the guy should really consider that. Porn isn't that neccessary or important.

[littlekitty]

Because men like looking at other women. And seeing them naked. And seeing them boink each other. And a midget.

 

 

I personally enjoy porn myself! What's the problem with it?!

 

I really don't understand the horror some women experience when they realise their men do look at porn. I'm not saying their wrong, just that I don't understand how it makes them feel inadequate, and why they are so upset about porn usage. It's not real life, it's porn!

[Moose]

 

I personally enjoy porn myself! What's the problem with it?!

 

I really don't understand the horror some women experience when they realise their men do look at porn. I'm not saying their wrong, just that I don't understand how it makes them feel inadequate, and why they are so upset about porn usage. It's not real life, it's porn!

This is why:

For the women, are you telling me that when your guys sees the porn movie, and you don't look like those girls or goes to a strip club, that it has no effect on you? See, this is all Jersey is saying, and I think Moose doesn't understand that in the mind of those people who either think or know they don't look like that, it's an issue.

BUT, I'm not smart enough to understand that like pyroguy said.

[littlekitty]

This is why:BUT, I'm not smart enough to understand that like pyroguy said.

 

You're plenty smart enough I think Moose.

 

Perhaps that then points to a self confidence issue with the lady in question? Or lack of self worth?!

 

I know I don't look like a porn star (thank god!)! I don't have lovely big boobs, a tight little bum and blonde hair!!

 

What I do know, is that my Fiance thinks I am the most beautiful women in the world. What I do know is that although he might look and masterbate to these porn girls, he doesn't love them, want a relationship with them, or want to marry them. It's a 3 minute fantasy, and then it's gone. I'm here with him all day every day. In his mind and heart. And so porn doesn't scare me.

 

Heh... not even all porn stars look like porn stars... have you seen some of the over 50's stuff!!

[Moose]

Perhaps that then points to a self confidence issue with the lady in question? Or lack of self worth?!

Yes, I've addressed that. Pyroguy must've missed it, but I truly believe that's what it all boils down to. And I certainly tried to avoid going there, but it is relevant.....

 

Thanks!!

[littlekitty]

Yes, I've addressed that. Pyroguy must've missed it, but I truly believe that's what it all boils down to. And I certainly tried to avoid going there, but it is relevant.....

 

Thanks!!

 

Sorry Moose! I may have skipped a few of the 21 pages!!

 

This topic always produces a large number of responses and animated replies!

 

I think you're very right. It's about understanding how and why men use porn, and being secure enough to be able to understand and deal with it.

[pyroguy]

Ahh, common Moose, now you're being sensitive. I never said you were too stupid, and that has nothingto do with it. i just pointed out that you and many others don't stop to think of the other side, and aren't in their shoes. Let's not make it personal.

 

As for the other poster, I'm thrilled that you think like that. I did say that in the end you need to think like that. However, I was just pointing out what is true of most of society. I made many valid points, and while you will both undoubtedly claim, it wasn't worth disputing, you know many of the observations were correct, and that's why there aren't really any direct replies.

 

The fact that you don't feel that way, and if you also think hes the next star stripper, I think thats great! and I mean that with all my heart.

 

By the way,not to sound like a prude, I have no actual issue with porn at all. it can and is turn on. If you're not threatened by Jenna jameson, and he isn't threatened by the guys with 9 lb penises that you are staring at, again-fantastic!!

[rtHawk]

All of these frustrations do have some sort of root in insecurity. The insecurity is not unfounded. Given a choice, with all else being equal (personality, morals, etc. etc.), most men my age would want a hot, sexy, girl with a killer body like the girls in porn videos.

 

I truly believe that for many many women who do struggle on any level with porn and their partner's use of it, that this type of statement (even tho may not be truly representative of all men) we understand this in our core and know this to be the truth; "it's just a fantasy" just doesn't really negate this type of innate understanding. I just wanted to say that for women like Jersey and any of the hundreds of women who ask these questions and share their heart felt frustrations --this is part of the core of why they feel the way they do. VALIDATION, VALIDATION VALIDATION... I can only hope their partners can hear and try to understand their angst and validate them, compromise, work on their relatatioship and put the women they love and care for back on the pedestal they belong on.

[rtHawk]

[

quote=Moose;1021770]In my mind, you did fine. You did more than fine:

THANK YOU MOOSE--I CAN ONLY HOPE HE WON'T TAKE IT IN A THREATENING, CONDEMNING, GUILT-BEARING WAY. I TRIED MY BEST TO SHARE MY FEELINGS AND EXPRESS WHAT MY CONCERNS AND THOUGHTS WERE.

I've wondered if Mrs. Moose would ever do this, but then I got to thinking what if someone besides myself ever got their hands on it? (among other thoughts), but at least you went to provide him with what should be an acceptable alternative.

i THINK THIS IS GREAT THING TO SHARE WITH YOUR SO IF YOU MEET TWO THINGS.... HUGE TRUST AND TRUST THAT BOTH HAVE MORE TO LOSE THAN GAIN FOR IT TO EVER LEAVE YOUR WON HANDS. IT ACUTALLY IS A REAL GREAT WAY TO SEE HOW LOVE AND SEX CAN LOOK WHEN THEY ARE WITH EACH OTHER AND NOT AN ACT.SEEING THIS MAKES PORN'S LACKING A NO-BRAINER IN MY OP;

HOWEVER.....this isn't so in your case, DISCLAIMER: The rest of my post are only my opinions.....take em' or leave em'):This throws a red flag in my mind.

 
He's still indulging himself with other materials not provided by you yourself, and to me, that signals a problem.....

Whether it's an addiction, or his own insecurities, it needs to be dealt with.

i DON'T BELIEVE IT IS AN ADDICTION; FUNNY HOW WE WOMEN TALK OF OUR OWN INSECURITIES (HOW WE ALLOW PORN TO PREY UPON THEM) AND we never stop to think of how men may be insecure, I don't think that is the case with my man..he seems quite sure of himself. and I certainly indulge in that feelinghe has with him.... I only wish I could for myself.

The whole, "taken man looking at porn", is simple when you look at it from my view. Some men......(and I emphasize the word some) get high on the feeling that the women he's jerkin' off to is actually attracted to him, and would actually, "want" him, and want to be submissive to him in this way....

 

If your man is this man then evaluate your relationship as a whole. Are you sure you're providing him what he needs in these areas? (I know that you did rtHawk, this is for everyone else interested)

 

If not, you could actually be an enabler.

 

If so, then he has a real addiction, and needs to treated as such. Even as far as a 12 step program........

 

Here's the clincher though folks......IF help is refused, nothing changes, you've done all that you could, and you're at your witt's end.....MOVE ON!!

 

I know you love them, and you feel you should just suck it up because society says it's no big deal......but no, you don't.......it's infidelity in my mind....or the next best thing, at the very least, one that eventually leads right up to it.......

[pyroguy]

And, thanks for validating what I have found to be sad but true. However, I wouldn't say that EVERY guy imagines that particular woman in the porn-not sure who you asked.. When I watched it, it was more about the act, not the girl. But, I definitely believe that many of the guys said that.

 

The thing is, I strongly feel this is also the case for many women, but they won't or can't admit it. It may all be rooted in insecurity as many here say, but like i've said, it's all about reality too, and society's failure to accept it. Reality, reality, reality. Just like the men you polled, the women who simulate sex acts with male strippers and make out with them ARE attracted to them-more than their SO- period!

 

Secure, insecure, it's a funny thing. Its kind of like the old philosophy question- if a tree falls in the woods, but nobody is there to hear it, did it really fall?So, If you think it's not a big deal and you don't stop and think, your SO only wants you physically, despite the cheating percentages, the strip clubs, the porn etc, then it isn't a big deal. Out of site, out of mind i guess.

 

I just wanted to explain the other side in a different way because I've seen and learned so much. Sorry if it offends some people.

[rtHawk]

Pyroguy

I for one do agree with you... I would admit it if it were true for me. It is not tho. In all honesty, I am one who is a one-man-woman. I do NOT fantasize about other men, I do not go to male strip sessions and I do NOT take the Hollywood fantasy male into my head or my bed --EVER. I love my man, he is the one, he is my source of all my fanatasies and desires. I know that sounds unreal but it is so true. Someone once said, it isn't that I can't and don't think someone is attractive, the diff is that I have no lust of them.... I only love my partner.

Heck, we have gone to nude beaches-men much more prevelant then women all standing with their glory out to the world..

Me--who cares..... they are good looking but that is all...my heart, my soul, my desire is for only one.

maybe too vanilla ... but not really....we have a very active, creative and all -encompassing sex life....we share all sorts of things with each other (minus any third party!) so my not having fantasies about others holds no water where sex life is concerned... (a poster saying that an article stated that fantasies were synonymous with a good sex life) I feel that is bogus.

you did't offend... truth and honesty is what is essential to better understanding and apprciation for working out issues and conerns./other people, the male mind, the female mind....

[pyroguy]

Thats great, and I hope that more people get to that point. I was just simply stating what I've learned and sadly it's becoming more and more prevalent.

 

Years ago, all this wasn't thrust in your face like it is today. Hell, even when i went to highschool in the mid 80's it wasn't nearly as bad as it is today. Yes, there will always be very attractive people around. However, the mindset and actions in response to that is worse than ever before. Credit fo you for finding the best way to go about it. Sadly, this isn't true for much of the country. I guess the best you can hope for is that your SO is attracted enough to you and loves you so much that the question and comparison never get asked in their mind.

 

I also have 2 children-10 and 6. To be honest, I feel bad for them being born into this particular era. As for what to let them see, what to share-not to share- I can only hope that they don't get lured into the whole money, sex, money, drugs, partying, anything goes me, me, me mentality-but i can only preach so much.

[rtHawk]

I have kids too! teens....

it upsets me tremedously to think of the world in which they are being thrust so harshly in. There is something to be said for a time and a place where what we do/see/participate is simpler. I don't think men and women were this unhappy years ago when $/sex/drugs were the premise of our existence.

There needs to be more of this type of acutal conversation, awareness, ehlightenement and active questioninig of all of this..... we should not let this over take our morals. our beliefs, our day to day health and well being.

More of these type of active people need to bring this information out.

http://www.porndestroyswomen.org/

[Jersey Shortie]

I am intelligent enough to admit that some of my issues with porn is insecurity.That is NOT my only issue with porn, but it has something to do with it. Why shouldn't I be insecure about it? Men claim what they have at home is enough and sexy and all that, but their actions say something different when they actively search out other women to masturbate too that are unreaslitic expectations to live up to.

 

If women created a whole meduim that catered to all the areas men are inherently insecure about, and then spent some time looking at it, thinking about, fantazing about it, I think men would beging to wonder where they fit into their parnters lives, if they fit at all. But the truth is that men don't have to face anything that is comparable to porn for women.

[Woggle]

Women constantly try to rub it in men's faces how not needed we are. I always hear from women how men are obsolete because women can now make their own money, use a vibrator and go to a sperm bank so quite a honestly I don't see how women can get up in arms about porn. To me the only women who are insecure about porn are the ones that have nothing better to offer. Even though I have a good woman in my life the honest truth is that many women today have made themselves more trouble than they are worth. In many cases whacking off to a computer image is less stress and less drama than dealing with most modern women.

[rtHawk]

JERSEY--

I CAN'T AGREE WITH YOU MORE!!!!!

UNFORTUNATLEY, I DO BELIEVE IT IS A CIRCLE---

IN SOME WAY, IF BOTH PARTNERS COULD AGREE TO MAKE EACH OTHER THEIR FIRST AND FOREMOST PRIOIRTY---

THEN THE POSITIVE CYCLE WOULD FEEL ONTO ITSELF AND CONTINUE TO FUEL THAT WITH AND FOR EACH OTHER

AND PREVENT posts with the mindset such as Woggle's (he is entitled to his OP--of course no disrespect intenede)----

it is sad that some men can feel that to be the case and so the easy way out of that is to de-stress with porn..WOW. says alot about where our society is heading and I believe porn/industry is feeding into that ....

it is alot easier to go thru drive thru Burger king --than take the time and effort to cook a healthy meal....

 

working on a relationship (both partners) should be the priority. I know for a fact that I DO... like so many women who do their best to stay in shape, toned, healthy, be creative in the bed and give give give to their man--but....

still just not enough

[TheDC]

I'll admit to having porn but it is a hollow substitute for a real relationship. I have relied on porn exclusively when I was single, however once in a relationship the need for the stimulus of porn evaporates and I get a whole lot more, both physically and emotionally, out of the relationship. But that's just me and I would suspect that I might not be in the majority.

 

However, the male libido is in overdrive compared to that of a woman and I can see how some men rely on porn to fulfil a physical need. I think for many men porn isn't about emotion or even about fantasy, it's a merely a biological function. Porn is simply a means to an end.

 

There are is a subset of men who have particular fetishes that can only be fulfilled through porn but for the most part I don't think that this is the case.

 

I think that if women truly understood how often men thought about sex and how often we truly wanted physical gratification, and attempted to fulfil those needs, they would get fed up and just tell us to whack off to porn.

[IpAncA]

okay. but i see porn as more of a habit...being female my whole life is not a hobby i can stop.

 

Okay true and yeah it can become a habit and in some way it is IMO but like I said before if their partner has a problem with it, they should both talk about it because if not then it's going to cause problems. Is is not?

 

This whole porn issue is never going to get resolved so thats why it's important to talk about it. If the guy is conditioned to looking at it and thinks it's normal and you don't, it will cause problems and no one is going to budge on it. Then it will just led to other problems as well.

[rtHawk]

I'll admit to having porn but it is a hollow substitute for a real relationship. I have relied on porn exclusively when I was single, however once in a relationship the need for the stimulus of porn evaporates and I get a whole lot more, both physically and emotionally, out of the relationship. But that's just me and I would suspect that I might not be in the majority.

 

However, the male libido is in overdrive compared to that of a woman and I can see how some men rely on porn to fulfil a physical need. I think for many men porn isn't about emotion or even about fantasy, it's a merely a biological function. Porn is simply a means to an end.

 

There are is a subset of men who have particular fetishes that can only be fulfilled through porn but for the most part I don't think that this is the case.

 

I think that if women truly understood how often men thought about sex and how often we truly wanted physical gratification, and attempted to fulfil those needs, they would get fed up and just tell us to whack off to porn.

 

I wish men like you were in the MAJORITY!!!!! If my guy approached me with that type of response ( of course in a more personal,living and attentive way with validation of my and my feelings and concerns) I would certainly find it alot easier to tolerate the porn. Since I have started the ball of communication rolling about this, I will see how it does turn out.

 

Okay true and yeah it can become a habit and in some way it is IMO but like I said before if their partner has a problem with it, they should both talk about it because if not then it's going to cause problems. Is is not?

 

This whole porn issue is never going to get resolved so thats why it's important to talk about it. If the guy is conditioned to looking at it and thinks it's normal and you don't, it will cause problems and no one is going to budge on it. Then it will just led to other problems as well.

 

agree with that 100%-- I wish I could have done more of that before I fell in love; that said; things happen, events happen in a relationship that can change the trust and comfort of what you once had. I know if it did for me, and so, porn is much more a threat than it was before ( I never liked it, but tolerated it) now that is so much more difficult because of the difficulties... have gone thru them and somehow have made the best of it all to improve the relationship on all other levels ( except this one for me)

[ilmw]

I'll admit to having porn but it is a hollow substitute for a real relationship. I have relied on porn exclusively when I was single, however once in a relationship the need for the stimulus of porn evaporates and I get a whole lot more, both physically and emotionally, out of the relationship. But that's just me and I would suspect that I might not be in the majority.

 

However, the male libido is in overdrive compared to that of a woman and I can see how some men rely on porn to fulfil a physical need. I think for many men porn isn't about emotion or even about fantasy, it's a merely a biological function. Porn is simply a means to an end.

 

There are is a subset of men who have particular fetishes that can only be fulfilled through porn but for the most part I don't think that this is the case.

 

I think that if women truly understood how often men thought about sex and how often we truly wanted physical gratification, and attempted to fulfil those needs, they would get fed up and just tell us to whack off to porn.

 

I totally relate to this... it was true for me too... porn.... was a temporary substitute... for the real thing... and a shallow... sub at that....

 

Call it a necessary evil.... to help the lonely male out....

 

Now guys who watch it all the time even when they are in a significant.. relationship.. and getting it regularily... ... that I can not relate too... I rarely had to even look at another woman... when my wife and I were still together...

 

Better dust of the old collection.... :lmao:

[pennyjosix]

Luckily for me my boyfriend doesn't look at porn. He has before but not in quite some time. Even before we were dating we'd have conversations about porn, and we both had the same outlook on it. If you are in a relationship, there's no need for it. I know I make my man happy in his pants haha he doesn't need to look at other naked chicks, and he definitely would be mad if I was looking at naked men. I don't think it is right AT ALL for men to look at naked women when in relationships. It's just wrong. I've even talked to some of my guy friends about it and they've told me that when in a sexual relationship porn just isn't the same and they feel wrong for watching it. So there are guys out their that feel similar to girls about porn.

[imthedivyone]

Funny here I was thinking my f had a serious problem with porn. But then again I got to thinking...At least he's not cheating!! We have a huge collection. We even have fun watching them together. I know TMI..lol. But he has had a thing for porn ever since we started dating. I'm not going to say that it never bother'd me. I just kind of got use to it. What I can give for advice is try watching one with him. It might be something you might enjoy doing together and then you wont feel left out. I know the first time we watched one together I was so embarassed. Now I have fun with it. Nothing like being hot and bother'd and him feeling the same...and me being the one he takes it out on!!!!

[Carbine]

@Carbine

 

Would you have a problem with him looking at these women in porn if you thought you were better looking then they are?

 

I'm just wondering here but do you think that if someone else better looking came along, he would dump you and go with them? You just seem to have issues with good looking women and it just so happends that your SO is looking at them.

 

It’s hard to say. If they weren’t as attractive as me then it wouldn’t be so hurtful but I’d still wonder what it was about these women that was turning him on so much, as opposed to me. Anyway, it’s hardly likely to happen in real life is it? Porn is a fantasy, and unattractive women have no place in my bf’s fantasies, as I’m sure is the case with most other men.

 

And no, I don’t think he’d dump me and hook up with the more attractive girl. Okay, to be fair the thought will always be in the back of my mind, but I know it’s extremely unlikely to actually happen. My issues with porn etc have very little to do with real-life infidelity, dumping and all that.

 

Lets be honest. Men don't really like or respect women very much. If they gave a flying fig about women, they wouldn't like porn.

 

Men like women because they can help fulfil their sexual needs. That’s the number one priority. Hence, it’s almost impossible for men to respect women when they hold them in this regard, as women are always going to sexual objects first and human beings second.

 

I think it’s a bit harsh to say that men don’t care about women. They’re not all monsters! But I do think that many don’t care enough about the woman that they’re in a committed relationship with. As much as I detest porn, I realise that there’s nothing I can do to stop my bf (and other guys for argument’s sake) liking it. I have to accept that he’s going to look at it if he’s single. That’s fine, I have to deal with it. But if he’s with me and still insists on viewing porn, then that’s not fine because it clearly disrespects my needs as a human being and as his partner. What’s the point of monogamy if one person is just going to try and find loopholes in the arrangement?

 

Whats the prob your never gonna meet any of these porn models and niether is he

 

That’s irrelevant. It’s not the actual porn model I’m jealous of, it’s her various features that turn him on (i.e. good tits, a tight figure, nice butt) which causes the problem.

 

You're assuming too much!! I know for a fact I wouldn't want to be with a porn star. To much of a slut for my taste. There may be men out there who'd want a woman who'd go down on anyone, anytime.....but the majority of us men would say NO WAY!!!

 

Then the majority of 'you men' are liars. Despite what most people say on the surface, in their deepest, darkest most private fantasies, if they had the choice then they'd chose to be with their 'perfect' partner. This partner would, in all likelyhood, be absolutely stunning looks-wise. I mean, why would you chose/fantasise about someone ugly? It just doesn't make sense!

 

And you say that you wouldn't want a porn star because shed be "too much slut for my taste". Well, who said it's based on her behaviour? I was under the impression that the thread was focussed mostly on looks. Okay, so if you ran into your favourite porn actress in real life, and she was totally not slutty, but sweet, intelligent, faithful, kind and had a great personality, would you still think the same??

 

Women constantly try to rub it in men's faces how not needed we are. I always hear from women how men are obsolete because women can now make their own money, use a vibrator and go to a sperm bank so quite a honestly I don't see how women can get up in arms about porn

 

Women like that are rather silly. It’s a perfect example of the feminist movement gone too far. There’s no need to put men down or rub it in their faces. IMO, women who do that are trying way too hard to prove themselves in what is still very much a man’s world. I’ve known women like this, and behind the bravado there lies deep insecurity about their abilities and self-esteem. Anyway, despite what they say, they most likely wouldn’t need to think twice if given the opportunity to be swept off their feet by Prince Charming and carted off to his crystal castle in the sky.

 

To me the only women who are insecure about porn are the ones that have nothing better to offer.

 

By this you obviously mean that they aren’t good looking?? What is it exactly that you want in a female? Obviously not someone who has a mind of her own and can argue a point! No offence, but you do come across as being a male chauvinist pig. If that’s your attitude then its no friggin wonder you’ve crossed paths with females who’ve tried to assert themselves in the manner you previously stated!

 

the honest truth is that many women today have made themselves more trouble than they are worth. In many cases whacking off to a computer image is less stress and less drama than dealing with most modern women.

 

I hate to break it to you, but guess what? Modern women have feelings!!! Does that come as a shock? If it’s too much trouble to accommodate the emotional needs of your SO, then you’re much better off alone with your porn.

[cutegirl]

 

And you say that you wouldn't want a porn star because shed be "too much slut for my taste". Well, who said it's based on her behaviour? I was under the impression that the thread was focussed mostly on looks. Okay, so if you ran into your favourite porn actress in real life, and she was totally not slutty, but sweet, intelligent, faithful, kind and had a great personality, would you still think the same??

 

 

From my personal observation this is what some, not all men want, but the ones you're referring to here, the ones that want a pornstar based on looks.

 

These men in particular have a madonna whore complex. They want a wife they are compatible with to bear and raise their children and accompany them on social and family functions, to go on vacations with, eat dinner with.

The wife is the "clean" and "pure" woman.

 

And then on the side they want to bang "dirty girls", but to them these girls are just whores and sluts, not worthy of marriage ever, just for 5 minutes of sex and to use them as a sperm depository.

 

Well, I'm saying they probably look at porn the same way. They probably feel like those women only serve the purpose of being a visual aid to help them reach ejaculation and nothing else. Only worth to use while reaching orgasm, but NEVER marry because men have double standards! It's ok for THEM to jack off to pornstars, but the pornstars themselves are considered "dirty" and NOT marriage material, only boning material. Trust me, a lot of men think this way. To them these girls are nothing but whores. However they feel they themselves are superior and somehow exempt from whore status cause they are males.

 

I don't think it's all about looks though. Some men have fetishes like anal sex, or they like to watch one girl getting plugged by two guys or watching a girl doing a bunch of black dudes. lol I have talked to some guys that have these fetishes/fantasies and porn is the only outlet they have, they wouldn't want their wife getting gangbanged but they get visually stimulated watching another woman doing it.

[Guest]

I'm not going to say that it never bother'd me. I just kind of got use to it. What I can give for advice is try watching one with him. It might be something you might enjoy doing together and then you wont feel left out. I know the first time we watched one together I was so embarassed. Now I have fun with it. Nothing like being hot and bother'd and him feeling the same...and me being the one he takes it out on!!!!

 

I can't imgagine being with my man and watching a porn together so he can get aroused looking at some porn chicks vagina, t/A and getting a boner and then wanting me to be the "beneficiary" of his momentary turn on. Oh by the way, since you are conveniently here, I'll bang you instead of imaging that I am banging the porn chick... but still have that im my mind anyway, you just happen to be the warm wet body next to me.

If he wants to have sex, get turned on by the one he is with.