I want to die

[Outcast]

She would speak and respond in a way most women would never dare ,but would feel none-the-less. In her own little barbarity I saw a looking-glass into a more primal instinct that most civilized people surpress. They surpress it, but it's still there. Her degredation of me felt pure and natural. That's what fascinated me about it.

 

It may have 'felt pure and natural'. It wasn't. There will always be mean-spirited people, unkind humans, and vicious snakes. I know Hobbes insisted this was the human condition but I'm with Locke in that humans aren't that bad.

 

All she did is confirm for you the negative feelings you developed all on your own - whether or not they were healthy or rational. So you felt affirmed in your pessimism. But you're both plain wrong. You've already asked how women would feel about a man in your situation and gotten a variety of answers because EVERY PERSON IS DIFFERENT. Gigi does NOT represent all of us

 

And please, why have you not yet answered the question Trimmer and many of us have put to you about getting therapy?

[lindya]

She would speak and respond in a way most women would never dare ,but would feel none-the-less.

 

You've identified a hook there. You're convinced that this woman would be honest with you where others wouldn't. I can understand you feeling that way. Harsh, brutal pessimism can sound confident, spontaenous and unmeasured....which is why so many people rely on using it, and why so many others believe it.

 

So now you're stuck with this belief that truth must be harsh, and must be painful. Not only has she degraded you, she's also made you feel that her behaviour was in some way honest and admirable. Helped along by the likes of this outburst of self-loathing.

 

I told you, I had to jump the kid, and he will never call me back. This is NOT a triumphant story Mark. I suffer too. I'm old and it's fuc*ing over, but even when I was 22, I never in a million years could have snagged this J. Crew model as Mary called him.

 

What a bottomless well of misery and bitterness. I know you're a Bette Davis fan, but please tell me you don't fantasise about being trapped in a wheelchair whilst a raddled old gigi serves you dead rat for lunch?

[alphamale]

1) First, I sexually failed

tsk tsk tsk...

 

2) Second I let her mock me in front of her friends, I let her call me things we both know I am not , even let her continously make fun of both my mother and my sister (her supposed friend) for chrissakes

are you a man or a mouse b4r?

 

3) Third,I let her cheat on me, first inconspicuosly, but then flagrantly

see response to #2

 

4) Fourth, I begged her not to leave me/ she left me

maybe your cajones were under the sofa?

 

5) Fifth, I begged her to come back in spit in my face all over again

what did you expect? no backbone=no woman

 

I let her wipe her a** with me and rip my d*ck off. I want my d*ck back

wow, no wonder I mistook you for a girl. the effeminate avatars don't help either

[lindya]

What a bottomless well of misery and bitterness.

 

PS - I was talking about Gigi here, B4R...not you. Just wanted to clarify that!

 

Alpha, go easy on him. Anonymous or not, it takes a bit of courage for someone to air this kind of personal stuff online.

[magichands]

are you a man or a mouse b4r?

I think a woman can turn a man into a mouse. Temporarily. The trick is to scurry away before she squishes you.

maybe your cajones were under the sofa?

Safest place for them, sometimes.

what did you expect? no backbone=no woman

I guess not every male can be an alphamale. But there is still room for the betamales out there.

[alphamale]

I think a woman can turn a man into a mouse. Temporarily. The trick is to scurry away before she squishes you.

it can be permanent also...

 

Safest place for them, sometimes.

the safest place for your cojones is ALWAYS in your nut-sack

 

I guess not every male can be an alphamale. But there is still room for the betamales out there.

Agreed.

[bluetuesday]

This situation has made me fear that I can never truly be loved by a woman. And what really hurts is, like a burn victim, the emotions don't adapt to the physical circumstances. Maybe I'm being a little dramatic, but it's a hard situation (no pun intended). I still long for the same emotional and physical connection any other healthy man does. Life is just too boring without that.

 

look, the physical condition you speak of isn't the real problem. the real problem is the way that condition makes you think about yourself as a man and the way it makes you loath yourself enough to put up with a woman who will treat you like dirt.

 

i am not going to patromise you and say that for all women the physical condition you have wouldn't be a problem. it would and you already know that. some women are beeyaches who would use it to humiliate you. they need shooting, but that's another thread.

 

but for some it wouldn't be a problem. truly, the measure of a man is not his c*ck length, hardness, girth or any other physical attribute. the measure of a man is his character, in how he faces challenges, in how he values himself and those around him. it is in the measure of his kindness and warmth and selflessness. don't let alphamale tell you otherwise. the reason he's clocked up 10,000 posts is that he ain't out doing it either.

 

the secret to finding the right woman is to be the right man. before that can happen you need to value yourself higher than you do now. if you think you are are worthless, we will too, and many of us will treat you accordingly.

 

you ARE lovable. you just don't believe it yet.

[Great Gazoo]

 

you ARE lovable. you just don't believe it yet.

 

 

 

Totally agree, been there, done that.

[amaysngrace]

are you a man or a mouse b4r?

 

 

 

I would say a MAN. A real man. Because b4r has addressed his issue and is working towards fixing it, so he doesn't poison future relationships with his mental hang-ups. As a WOMAN, I appreciate the men who can be true to themselves, rather than inflict me with all the garbage they're carrying inside their heads.

 

I think you're threatened by b4r, Alpha, because he is getting a lot of female feedback but do you want to know why? Because he is worthy of our endeavors, that's why. He doesn't hide his issues behind sarcasm. He is someone women actually want to see in the dating pool again.

 

Now if you can get yourself there, maybe more women'd say the same thing about you.

[amaysngrace]

b4r, I think what Blue Tuesday said makes a lot of sense. You have this thing wrong and I wish I could tell you it's going to be okay, but I don't know that. I read up on it a bit and I'm not sure if you can have it surgically corrected.

 

Please don't think that how Gigi acted was deserved. She had a good man and she messed up. I don't know the specifics of your relationship, but if faced with a challenge, you are suppose to face it together. She held it against you which makes her a wench. You should say 'good riddance' because you would have remained stuck in this thinking rather than moving forward. You are going to be a better person, I have no doubt about that.

 

Life often throws challenges at us. It is a measure of our character how we handle them. Please don't allow yourself to drown in self-pity.

 

I think there are many, many women who would be willing to work through whatever challenges you may be faced with together with you, if they truly liked who you were enough. But that's the key.

 

In order for them to like who you are, you must first like who you are. You need to accept yourself, which I think you will eventually. Posting here was a good step in the right direction. But these things take time. The trick is to not let this define who you are. Don't become this. Don't allow yourself to.

 

You are better than that.

[burning 4 revenge]

Thanks for all your comments. Bluetuesday, I know I haven't commented on any of your posts ,but I've read them over a couple of times and it means a lot too me. Thank you for caring.

 

Don't be too hard on Alpha. In his simple, hard ,worldy way I think he's giving good advice. Believe me Alpha, that's how I think objectively ,but sometimes it can be difficult to just sever a relationship when you have gotten used to it for five, or six months, and it took about that long before it became abusive. And strangley once it did, I became even more spellbound.

 

Amaysngrace, I'm really touched that you actually researched this condition. That's more than my gf did in the nine months I was with her. I don't think it was that she was too lazy ,I think that for someone in denial of age and death harsh realities can be too frightening to face. Lindya referenced Whatever Happened to Baby Jane and wow Lindya you are right on the money. Gigi is 37 and still has her looks, but she is headed in that direction, and not just her, I see more and more of that sort of thing in both sexes, but that's another thread. Lindya, you infered that from that one e-mail didn't you? Amazing how several sentences can betray a person's soul to someone who is clever.

 

As far as surgery goes, there is a viable surgery and that's the implant, but that's a huge decision. There are some other things I can try and I'm going to. I just hope that if I do have to have an implant (and I will do it rather than remain dysfunctional) that there are women who can accept it. You guys say there are and I'm sure there are some, I just hate thinking I'm going to be so severly limited in my choices ,but that's life. And by that I'm not talking about looks, I just don't want to be with someone I don't find an interesting person just for the sake of their acceptance.

[Touche]

Why should you have to compromise? We ALL have our defects. All of us do. And I don't think most of us compromise on our preferences in a mate. And nor should you.

[amaysngrace]

Why should you have to compromise? We ALL have our defects. All of us do. And I don't think most of us compromise on our preferences in a mate. And nor should you.

 

My thoughts exactly. I think it comes with acceptance of yourself first, though.

 

I'm sorry if I offended you or rushed to judgment on who you are, Alpha.

My bad. It was not my intention...well, okay, it was.

 

And with that I'm signing off for a bit. Everybody enjoy the rest of your summer and stay out of trouble. Peace.

[lindya]

And with that I'm signing off for a bit. Everybody enjoy the rest of your summer and stay out of trouble. Peace.

 

Have a good break, and don't be strange (by which I mean don't be a stranger)

[ImmaBeAlright]

seven months

 

we were only together nine

 

i think i hate just hate the fact that i'm alone and she can exercise options

She is exercising her options because the relationship is over and because she can. You, on the other end CHOOSE not to exercise your options because you are still not over her.

 

Its all about choices.

[burning 4 revenge]

She is exercising her options because the relationship is over and because she can. You, on the other end CHOOSE not to exercise your options because you are still not over her.

 

Its all about choices.

yeah, i know

 

i guess i need to choose a shrink

[ButtonPusher]

You seem like an intelligent guy burning. The fact that you like chopin proves that.

 

Here's my advice....go take some drugs (ecstasy or cocaine is good) get pissed and have a good time with some mates. Go to a strip club or a night club and pick up and get some sex.

 

No girl is worth dying for.

[lindya]

Here's my advice....go take some drugs (ecstasy or cocaine is good) get pissed and have a good time with some mates. Go to a strip club or a night club and pick up and get some sex.

 

The phrases "dirty sticking plaster" and "open wound" come to mind.

[burning 4 revenge]

You seem like an intelligent guy burning. The fact that you like chopin proves that.

 

Here's my advice....go take some drugs (ecstasy or cocaine is good) get pissed and have a good time with some mates. Go to a strip club or a night club and pick up and get some sex.

 

No girl is worth dying for.

 

thanks for the advice. i went to a strip club today and got pissed. didn't change anything and i'm $120 poorer than i was

 

i'm guessing your'e young, but i have to admit i had a good time

[burning 4 revenge]

Speaking of pearl necklaces, I keep fantasizing about gigi and this young stud. It's been the only subject of my masturbatory fantasy since last saturday, and i'm even tempted to write her and try and gleen any details i can about what might be going on. I think it's pretty f*cked up and I try to change the images in my mind but it keeps going back to that and it's just awful.

 

You guys say I need counselling and you're probably right. Is this sort of fantasizing masochistic behavior in and of itself?

 

I think when my next financial aid check comes in that maybe I should move up to Melbourne where my best friend lives. He lives with his gf and I'll feel kind of like a third wheel, but down here my best friend is my sister and her best friend is gigi and tha does'nt help matters at all.

[burning 4 revenge]

So I gave in to my desire to write Gigi

 

I wrote-So Mrs. Robinson, what's the status with you and your infant god-boy

 

She replied -**** off

 

Is it still love?

[tinktronik]

So I gave in to my desire to write Gigi

 

I wrote-So Mrs. Robinson, what's the status with you and your infant god-boy

 

She replied -**** off

 

Is it still love?

So , you've given in .B4R , you need a distraction . Seriously , sometimes good clean rolling around in bed with a stranger is the only thing to get rid of the last one in your mind. You think Gigi was all that great in bed , but wait untill you meet someone with all the sexual prowess that actually treats you well too. I know you think your erection is not up to the task , but who said you have to go that far . Personally I enjoy all types of lovemaking in an equal amount , I think most women do.

[burning 4 revenge]

who said i haven't fooled around since gigi?

 

i already spent that $200 this month

[tinktronik]

who said i haven't fooled around since gigi?

 

i already spent that $200 this month

Not paid for my dear , willing and fun was more what I was talking about.

[lindya]

I wrote-So Mrs. Robinson, what's the status with you and your infant god-boy

 

What prompted you to do that, B4R?