Author burning 4 revenge Posted July 31, 2006 Author Share Posted July 31, 2006 I don't get it. You didn't like her. She's got a whackload of undesirable qualities. Please tell me that your grief over this isn't just because you never get to boink her again. Because, really, what other attraction could there have been?i'm just lonley my invisible friend. and i so hate rejection. i'm crying now and theres no reason to be. thank god i never shed a tear in front of that c*nt. and my sister agrees that the e-mail was sadistic. she wrote her a nasty message, but as for me, i can't think of anything to say. Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 For me, the loss of the girl didn't end up being that big a deal, because they weren't really worth being upset about. It's the explanation of my own behavior that was hard to figure out. But the pain I thought was caused by the girl, and it was more me facing myself. That was hard to figure out. Wonderful post, Johan. I've always felt that way about myself when I went through my breakups. I just was never able to put how I felt into words. A lot of my trust issues comes from my inability to trust myself and how I'll react to rejection. I reacted in ways that left me feeling scared and powerless. I've learned that it really had nothing to do with the person doing the rejecting. Like you said, Johan, if you really think about it rationally, they weren't all that great anyways. OP, I am betting your X did that whole 'hook-up' show for your sister's benefit. I mean, come on, she had to know it was gonna get back to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 i'm just lonley my invisible friend. Nothing is worth that much grief. Being alone is infinitely preferable to being with someone who's seriously messed up. and i so hate rejection Consider the source. If idiots hate me, I don't care. She's a seriously messed up human being - it's not like Mother Theresa said you're a jerk. Someone whose brain clearly isn't working well cannot be expected to make rational decisions for starters and secondly, it's a blessing that she 'rejected' you!!!!! You've been saved from staying with someone who would only have been grief and hassles and trouble to you. I think, dude, you should get yourself to a counsellor if your need to be with another body is so great that you'll put up with anything just to have someone in your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author burning 4 revenge Posted July 31, 2006 Author Share Posted July 31, 2006 Oh, I would'nt be so foolish as to think it was for my benefit. It sounds like she benefitted well enough without that inducement. I wrote her back- 22. well you always said you had a thing for boys Her response-and you don't -once again refering to her allegations of my being gay, because some peyronies plack has given me some ED issues. She once said toward the end that someone like me is gay by definition, because I have some problems with penetration. How can some people be so cruel? And what does she get from furthering her emotional abuse? Even my sister said it was way out of line. She said she specifically told the c*nt not to say anything about it to me. What I really want is to take care of these health issues as best I can and meet someone funny and smart and DECENT. A decent human being, is that really so hard? Link to post Share on other sites
2020vision Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 That sucks what you are going through, sorry that you have a sister like that. If your own sister chooses to be that insenstive to you, I suggest you tell her to not give you any details about the visits that she has with your ex and if need be, cut her out your life for a while. Just because they are your family, doesn't mean they are good for you. BTW, I read your profile..At least you have good taste in classical music going for you! I was a concert pianist for a while (gave it up for my current career), Chopin is my absolute favorite. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Block her emails. And her phone number. Go NC!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author burning 4 revenge Posted July 31, 2006 Author Share Posted July 31, 2006 yeah, i'm in the mood for some of his somber stuff right now. to be fair to mary i asked several times before she gave me the skinny. mary fell asleep on gigi's bed so i kept asking if she thinks they had sex and she said yes, she could hear them, cause gigi got pretty loud. i paraphrased the first post, but lindya saw through it. i knew i would'nt get any sympathy for asking for punishment Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 What I really want is to take care of these health issues as best I can and meet someone funny and smart and DECENT. A decent human being, is that really so hard? Well, I think you need to do yourself a favour here, and eschew that which isn't decent. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 What I really want is to take care of these health issues as best I can and meet someone funny and smart and DECENT. A decent human being, is that really so hard? It's much, much easier to meet someone decent when you have room for them in your heart and mind. Gigi's gotta go first - she's taking up entirely too much space - kick her out of your head. Link to post Share on other sites
Author burning 4 revenge Posted July 31, 2006 Author Share Posted July 31, 2006 I wrote her back- Was that first e-mail suppose to make me jealous? Her response-NO! I told you, I had to jump the kid, and he will never call me back. This is NOT a triumphant story Mark. I suffer too. I'm old and it's fuc*ing over, but even when I was 22, I never in a million years could have snagged this J. Crew model as Mary called him. Any opinions? Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 he will never call me back. She called and he won't return her call, I'm guessing. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Quit. Writing. To. Her. Link to post Share on other sites
LaraV Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 I wrote her back- Was that first e-mail suppose to make me jealous? Her response-NO! I told you, I had to jump the kid, and he will never call me back. This is NOT a triumphant story Mark. I suffer too. I'm old and it's fuc*ing over, but even when I was 22, I never in a million years could have snagged this J. Crew model as Mary called him. Any opinions? Please do yourself a favor and leave this woman behind. She is not worth one more minute of your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author burning 4 revenge Posted July 31, 2006 Author Share Posted July 31, 2006 knowing her she called him two million times and he put his phone on silent, because he probably has a girlfriend. he'll call her back when he wants to get some more of from the middle aged wh*re, of that i'm sure. my question, though, is is she being cruel? why tell me these things about f*cking a "gorgeuos creature" and throwing herself at a "J.Crew model" when I'm her x-boyfriend of nine months who just tried unsuccessfully to get back together with her. the only thing i can think of is that she's hurt by his rejection and is trying to take it out on me. she disguises it as a vanilla e-mail, but to use adjectives like gorgeous, verbs like jump, and nouns like kid, and J. Crew model ? two weeks after i said i still loved her? Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Her response-NO! I told you, I had to jump the kid, and he will never call me back. This is NOT a triumphant story Mark. I suffer too. I'm old and it's fuc*ing over, but even when I was 22, I never in a million years could have snagged this J. Crew model as Mary called him. Okay, her saying she's old means she couldn't keep up with him in bed. She couldn't get a guy this good looking at 22, but she can now because she is more manipulative and that was her advantage. She is hoping to hear from him again, but of course, after failing in the sex department, she won't. And this is why it isn't triumphant for her. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 I think her esteem is shattered at this time. So she falls back on you because she knows you will give her the attention she craves, in hopes to lift her spirits up. Don't allow her to speak to you either. That sure would be a kicker for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Great Gazoo Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Forget about her, your NOT her baby sitter. For once in your life think about yourself. Give yourself a break and let yourself have the priviledge of thinking about YOU before anyone else. Give yourself permission to enjoy life and forget the pain and the past. You have to just let go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author burning 4 revenge Posted July 31, 2006 Author Share Posted July 31, 2006 i wish i could babysit her Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 i wish i could babysit her I think that spanking is frowned upon these days. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 I think that spanking is frowned upon these days. Not for b4r...he's a deviant Link to post Share on other sites
bluetuesday Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 my question, though, is is she being cruel? why tell me these things about f*cking a "gorgeuos creature" and throwing herself at a "J.Crew model" when I'm her x-boyfriend of nine months who just tried unsuccessfully to get back together with her. yes, she is being wickedly cruel. she doesn't want you, she knows you want her and she wants you to know she can still get some. some people get off on being mean. they feel good by making other people feel bad. it sucks that you found one of them. next time, please choose better. the signs were there, you just didn't heed them. you are not alone in this, we have all done it which is how we know what we know. NC is really, really hard. but you gotta, man. in six months you will be so glad you did. yeah, that seems like ages. it will pass. it will be vile for about three weeks and then it will get slowly better until you can't see what you ever saw in her. you don't love gigi. you don't even like her. you understandibly feel shocked at the way she treated you and quite possibly you want her back because they way she treated you reinforces what you secretly feel about yourself. in other words, you think that level of treatment is what you deserve and all you can get. baby, this is so far from being true it ain't funny. you are worth so much more and it's pretty upsetting to see you locked in this cycle. sure they are some problems you need to work on but in no way did you deserve to be badly treated. if nothing else, please try NC and please try to see that you're worth being loved by someone who loves you back and will look after you. everything else, all the angst over does she mean this? was she trying to be cruel? is my sister doing it on purpose? is BS. you cannot know what they think so why bother stressing over it. you CAN however control how you react to it. oh yes, you can. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 In the context of everything else you've told us about her, I think it's yet another example of the dysfunctionality she keeps trying to project away from herself and onto you. She's constantly bringing pain into your life, and the motives behind her doing that are her problem - not yours. Every hour you spend trying to work out her motives, the reasons underlying her poisonous behaviour towards you and the ways in which you might be able to get one over on her is another hour wasted. If I were you, I'd just send a brief email back saying "Sounds like a mess. Don't have time to write more just now, but I hope things get better soon." Then leave it at that. I wrote her back- Was that first e-mail suppose to make me jealous? Her response-NO! I told you, I had to jump the kid, and he will never call me back. This is NOT a triumphant story Mark. I suffer too. I'm old and it's fuc*ing over, but even when I was 22, I never in a million years could have snagged this J. Crew model as Mary called him. Any opinions? NC NC NC - Again, I agree with Lindya, but with civility and appropriate respect to her, (whose sense of humor and command of irony I appreciate more than I can post publicly... ), if you do respond at all to this latest email exchange, I wouldn't say anything along the lines of "don't have time to write more", because that just leaves the door open a crack. If you feel you have to respond at all, just keep it to a final "Well, good luck in the future." And click. Shut that door. To use a James Taylor line, you're "fighting and flashing like a fish on a line." When you go quiet she pulls and digs the hook in a little and you thrash around some more trying to figure out why she's causing you this pain. At the risk of overplaying the metaphor, pull the hook out and let go of the line. Yes, it will bleed and hurt and take some time to feel better, but don't let her keep pulling. You've seen what they do to fish once they land them, right? When military pilots in a two-place aircraft have an emergency, the plane is going down, and the pilot has decided it's time to "punch out", he doesn't just say, "OK let's eject now." The command is "Eject! Eject! Eject!" to make sure that there is NO ambiguity in communication. It's time to save yourself: " NC! NC! NC! " Link to post Share on other sites
Author burning 4 revenge Posted July 31, 2006 Author Share Posted July 31, 2006 Well at least you guys know why I'm B4R. It's not healthy though. I want to get from here to Indifferent 2 Revenge Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Well at least you guys know why I'm B4R. It's not healthy though. I want to get from here to Indifferent 2 Revenge Fake it til you make it, sweets. Start by ignoring her from now on. You could even change your screen name right now... Link to post Share on other sites
Author burning 4 revenge Posted July 31, 2006 Author Share Posted July 31, 2006 Fake it til you make it, sweets. Start by ignoring her from now on. You could even change your screen name right now... That sounds like sound advice for the female orgasm thread, but I think it's even better placed here. Thanks Norajane Link to post Share on other sites
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