Author Emilyperkins Posted February 11, 2019 Author Share Posted February 11, 2019 (edited) I know how sex works. However I’m confused as to why anyone thinks I will get pregnant so young. Edited February 19, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Redact quote of prior post Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 11, 2019 Share Posted February 11, 2019 WHY!? Do you guys keep mentioning pregnancy!!!! That’s not even on my radar Because a pregnancy has the capacity of you being stuck with this guy for life in one way or another. You may think "Oh I'll just have an abortion" but it may not work out like that. This guy needs at best to be a filler relationship for you, you have a good time for a while, then you move on... 2 years down the line you will go "What on earth was I thinking..." That is how it is supposed to work... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Emilyperkins Posted February 11, 2019 Author Share Posted February 11, 2019 (edited) If I had a baby then he probably wouldn’t leave me correct? Edited February 19, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Redact quote of prior post Link to post Share on other sites
ericw899 Posted February 11, 2019 Share Posted February 11, 2019 (edited) No. He will almost definitely leaved you. The problem is though you will then have no father with you to raise a baby, and you will then have to be tied to this SO for the rest of your life because he is the father, and if he wanted anything to do with this child, it'll be really ugly. Look Emily, I get it. You are young and don't see this far ahead. In your mind this guy seems exciting and you like having an older man being into you. But being with him brings so much risk it is not worth it. He already has a checkered past, that no body knows the 100% truth to except for him. You don't know what he is capable of. You do not need to be putting yourself in a situation where you are harmed by him or are conceiving a baby with him. I know it's hard to see because you are 20 and think you are invincible and know it all, but you aren't and you don't. I'm 22, about your age, and I am telling you there are hundreds, upon thousands of other guys out there who would love to date you & who are not a burden to be with. Because fact of the matter is, even if this crazy ex fell off the face of the earth, things are not going to be good between you two, because this man has issues that you don't need to be involved with. Edited February 19, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Redact quote of prior post Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 I’m confused as to why anyone thinks I will get pregnant so young. We don't necessarily think it will happen. But we've seen it happen so many times that it is definitely worth mentioning that it's the worst possible thing you could do in this situation, so you should avoid it at all costs! Link to post Share on other sites
olivetree Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 (edited) What is attractive about a convicted SO with a pattern of sleeping with super young women and an ex who thinks he's repulsive? To you, he may be a cool older bad boy. To the outside world, you're dating a loser. So my advice... move on, find someone age-appropriate to date without all the drama and who is not banned from social media and probably from leaving the country forever. Edited February 12, 2019 by olivetree Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 If I had a baby then he probably wouldn’t leave me correct? If you were to become pregnant, the odds are that he'd dump you so fast, your head would spin . . . And, frankly, I think you'd be worse off he did stick around. A convicted child sex offender fathering a child and having contact with that child, as I said earlier, would be a bad thing for you and the baby. It is likely, that the baby would be taken away from both of you by the Division of Youth and Family Services . . . and if not, the level of scrutiny would be intense . . . Link to post Share on other sites
Author Emilyperkins Posted February 12, 2019 Author Share Posted February 12, 2019 Yes and when the anklet comes off, that will not be the end of it. He will probably still have to check in with a parole officer for another 3 - 4 years. He will have to register anytime he moves. He will never be able to leave the country or travel. There will be restrictions in place forever, like he has to stay a certain distance from schools, day cares, parks and anywhere children might be. If he has kids, he won't be able to pick them up from school, etc. (depending on restrictions). So dating someone like him will have it's consequences. He’s on probation for 5 years. His probation started July 2018 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted February 13, 2019 Share Posted February 13, 2019 (edited) Emily, please start thinking more into the future for yourself. Is this how you want to live your own life even for just now? I mean, limited as to where you can go with him, etc. A young girl should be having fun with her boyfriend, going out, doing things with him, not surrounded by drama and rules and constraints. Edited February 19, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Redact quote of prior post Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted February 13, 2019 Share Posted February 13, 2019 (edited) So if you’re dating a guy and he likes sexy pics of your friends that’s not an issue? Sure, that’s an issue... it’s the least of the issues you have though Emily. You say you are an adult... well then, be an adult. Listen to the advice you have been given in this discussion. At the very least, use protection if you continue to have sex with this man. But more importantly, don’t throw your future away for a convicted sex offender... Edited February 13, 2019 by BaileyB Link to post Share on other sites
Author Emilyperkins Posted February 13, 2019 Author Share Posted February 13, 2019 (edited) How would my future be thrown away? Because of his limitations? Has anyone never stuck by someone’s side? Edited February 19, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Redact quote of prior post Link to post Share on other sites
Amethyst68 Posted February 14, 2019 Share Posted February 14, 2019 Why are you bothered about him liking your friend's pictures when you were ok with them dancing in front of him in their underwear for his music video? I mean he can always just perv over the video! Have you ever asked about the reason he was in prison? I don't understand why you don't seem to care or be concerned. You know he had sex with an underage girl but do you know the full truth or just his version of it? I know every country or even every state may have different laws but where I live if the minor is close to becoming a legal adult the older person is not usually jailed unless there has been some type of coercion/grooming, or they have been in a position of authority obviously they are still punished and placed on the sex offenders register. Is statutory rape a mandatory prison sentence whee you live? Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted February 14, 2019 Share Posted February 14, 2019 How would my future be thrown away? Because of his limitations? Has anyone never stuck by someone’s side? Oh Emily, if you don’t understand what the problem is with this relationship after all these posts, I certainly won’t be able to explain it to you now. Your nativity is going to cause you so much trouble... Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted February 14, 2019 Share Posted February 14, 2019 To quote the ex of a friend who also happened to be Emily: "She was cramping my style" That was his reason for leaving. His reason for leaving right after his son was born. They were young, she was fun and sexy. And then she got pregnant and in his words "gross". She got morning sickness and puked which disgusted him. She got a huge belly which he found repulsive, she as no longer sexy to him. She couldn't drink. She couldn't go out late and party. She wanted money for things for the baby. She was "cramping his style" by having a baby. If you think you can trap him with a baby you are a fool and the child would be the ultimate victim. Don't be so selfish or ignorant. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted February 14, 2019 Share Posted February 14, 2019 Sure, let’s look further into the crystal ball... Let’s assume that you do get pregnant and by some miracle, he stays... Are you prepared to have CPS knock on your door because you are raising the child in a home that is considered a high risk situation, when there is a convicted sex offender in the home. CPS may actually take your child away from you... You will be raising a child with a man who can not find employment because of his conviction. You will be working a job, maybe two jobs, as you try to supporting your child and provide food and shelter, while your husband does - what exactly? He will have so much time on his hands, perhaps he will play video games and become a man child that you will be required to financially support? Or, maybe he will spend his time watching porn or live chatting with women online? Or, in the chat rooms grooming other little girls? Or, perhaps he will leave the house to have sex with another woman... you know, because you have gained weight with your pregnancy, you are no fun because you are working all the time, you are always complaining to him because he doesn’t help enough, and you won’t have sex with him anymore because you are exhausted. Maybe he will leave you to raise your child all alone, because he has broken his probation and he has gone back to jail. Or, maybe he has run off with another woman... But, if he does stay, forget the idea that your man and the father of your children can attend their sporting events and/or school functions because he’s not allowed to go to the school. Forget the idea that you will be able to travel together on a holiday because he’s not allowed to leave the country. Stand by your man, if you must. Life will be grand! Just wait and see... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted February 14, 2019 Share Posted February 14, 2019 If you think convicted sex offenders are allowed to live in a home with a minor child, read this... https://www.loveshack.org/forums/familial/family/659899-how-protect-my-daughter-s-half-sister 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted February 14, 2019 Share Posted February 14, 2019 (edited) Bailey, you are exactly correct. I mentioned this earlier. But, most young women, when they think of their future, they think of a nice wedding, with a house and kids and a picket fence and little dog and having get togethers and play dates, etc. But let's look at what the future with a convicted sex offender would look like: First, the Division of Youth and Family Services would likely take the child away from both of them. A woman who has a child with a man she knew was convicted sex offender would be deemed an unfit mother because she is consorting with convicted criminals and exposing her children to possible harm and exercising poor judgment when it comes to her children and lifestyle. And, even if they allow her to keep the child/children, she would be subjected to random and frequent visits and home inspections by a representative of DYFS. It's a really big deal. Second, if they allow him to visit his child/children at all, he needs to register in the area where they live as a sex offender. The neighbors are not going to be thrilled. The kids are going to have a hard time having friends as well. The friends likely won't be allowed to come over for play visits because the parents won't want their kids possibly exposed to a sex offender. They may also be subjected to bullying and being made fun of or ostracized. He's not going to be making a great living either. Having a house would be unlikely and the kids aren't going to have very much and won't be able to do a lot of the things other kids do. Blind loyalty is a bad thing. A woman should be loyal and stick by her man if she's been with him for years, he's treated her well, helped make a good life together, etc. and they run into some difficulties. A man you've only know for a few months doesn't deserve that kind of loyalty when you know what you know already, Emily. This guy hasn't earned that kind of loyalty from you. And, even a woman who has been with a man for a long time and/or married to him, wouldn't stay by his side if he committed/was convicted of a sex crime. Not if she's strong, focused, smart and making her children and her/their future a priority. And, you might say you've heard of women who stand by their men who are sex criminals, convicts, etc. The question is are they happy? You don't know what's going on behind those doors. And, show me a woman who sticks with a sex offender and I'll show you a weak, co-dependent, desperate woman who doesn't think she can do better or deserves better and is a afraid to try and/or be alone. Edited February 19, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Redact quote of prior post Link to post Share on other sites
Author Emilyperkins Posted February 14, 2019 Author Share Posted February 14, 2019 (edited) First, the Division of Youth and Family Services would likely take the child away from both of them. You all keep talking about children but he has a 14 yr old son already (not with this scorned ex) and his niece and nephew are allowed to come over. He lives with his mother. Edited February 16, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted February 14, 2019 Share Posted February 14, 2019 (edited) In other words, he is 32 and he has a 14 year old son... which means, he got a woman pregnant when he was 17 years old. It gets worse... I’m not a lawyer, but if he is spending time in the home with minor children, he may well be violating the conditions of his release. If law enforcement officials were aware of this, he could be sent back to jail. He wears an angle bracelet for goodness sake! They don’t give those to people as a parting gift when they leave the prison. They don’t give those to people who get time off for good behaviour! Redhead is so right, he hasn’t earned your loyalty. Farbeit for us to try to educate you Emily, it’s quite clear that you are going to do what you are going to do. Just use protection and don’t get pregnant by this man. It will change the course of your life in ways that you can not even begin to imagine... Edited February 14, 2019 by BaileyB 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Emilyperkins Posted February 14, 2019 Author Share Posted February 14, 2019 (edited) So he couldn’t be around his own family? Edited February 19, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Redact quote of prior post Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted February 14, 2019 Share Posted February 14, 2019 (edited) Not if he is a convicted sex offender and the children are minor children. Not without supervision, at the very least. If my brother is a convicted sex offender and I have a daughter, there is not a snowballs chance in hell that I would ever allow him to spend time with my child. Most definitely, never alone. This is what we are saying. Let’s say you marry this guy and have a child, CPS may well take the child from your home. He is a sex offender. It’s high risk to have a minor child in a home with a convicted sex offender. And, the judgment of any woman who gets with this guy is going to be seriously questioned. With the ankle bracelet, he is only allowed to go from work to his mother’s home. Again, I’m not in law enforcement, but I would assume that any deviation from that plan would likely warrant questions and/or a return to jail. He is essentially under house arrest right now. They don’t do that to people who are not high risk to reoffend and/or should be in jail, but have been released (perhaps due to overcrowding). This is not a fairytale. This is serious stuff. Edited February 19, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Redact quote of prior post Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted February 14, 2019 Share Posted February 14, 2019 You all keep talking about children but he has a 14 yr old son already (not with this scorned ex) and his niece and nephew are allowed to come over. He lives with his mother. Seriously? A 14 year old son at 32 years old? Wow. That could be you. His niece and nephew are allowed to come over only because he lives with his mother. And, I can guarantee you that the mom or another adult is required to be there any time minor children are present. If that's not happening, he could be forced to move out and the mom could be charged with endangering a minor. And, does he see the 14 year old son? If so, under what conditions? Just don't have a kid with this guy. Use protection every single time you are intimate with him. No exceptions. And, don't get drunk ever because that is when surprise pregnancies happen -- when you're not thinking clearly and have sex "spontaneously", let say. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Emilyperkins Posted February 14, 2019 Author Share Posted February 14, 2019 (edited) His son lives with he and his mother. He had full custody before all this happened Edited February 19, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Redact quote of prior post Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted February 14, 2019 Share Posted February 14, 2019 (edited) I will guarantee you that his mother has full custody of that child now and she is required to be present at all times when her son is at home. I am certain that the home is well scrutinized by officials. There's a lot going on behind the scenes here that I suspect you are not privy to. Edited February 19, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Redact quote of prior post Link to post Share on other sites
Author Emilyperkins Posted February 14, 2019 Author Share Posted February 14, 2019 (edited) I’m always around. Always. I’ve been around his mother and family. I will say that I find it weird that his family and I aren’t friends on anything like social media and he’s not friends with mine. Edited February 19, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Redact quote of prior post Link to post Share on other sites
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