brigit87 Posted October 25, 2018 Share Posted October 25, 2018 l've never really dated as such just tended to meet the right women somehow, l'm fussy, not interested in wasting my time with just anyone. but l don't believe in inpressing a girl , really , just eff that, l'm more interested in whether she impresses me. And l don't believe in this whole internet craze thing of making her laugh , to me that's just bs. lf you get along you'll both have laughs if that's what you want. She's gotta earn it though and make me laugh too. like my gf , she's as funny as fk, cracks me up non stop, so was my ex w, but it's natural , just our chemistry. But it just sounds like every guy and his dog are all out there these days just trying to make women laugh , yaknow. Being different, original, get's noticed , l'd do the opposite just to be different. And the girls surely must be reading all the guys like a book these days and think ohh Goddd, another one following all these internet lists . But another thing l'd be really wary about with all that anyway, even if it was original , is that women love being entertained. So when your done acting like a total moron , if she didn't like you much in the first place she'll just wonder off later anyway, oh that was fun, byeeee. l've watched many a guy work like a dog trying to entertain some chick that isn't even interested . Even fell for it myself back in my teens. ...yeah you sound like a real fun date. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EthanBlack Posted October 25, 2018 Author Share Posted October 25, 2018 See, that's a riot. You guys are funny you just need to work on it. Yeah don't try to tell girls about massively intellectual stuff they'll probably just stop listening and nod appropriately to be polite. Here's the formula: Make them laugh, tell them they're pretty and always pick up the check. (It's that simple.) Pick up the check? That's a sign of desperation/neediness. That's what "nice guys" do cause they think chivalry or paying for the girl can win her love/respect. I know of pretty girls who have total deadbeat loser boyfriends who don't even have a proper job and he essentially lives off of HER. How come these guys can get away with so much and us guys who are responsible, have good jobs, and have our **** together can't even get a 2nd date? Link to post Share on other sites
brigit87 Posted October 25, 2018 Share Posted October 25, 2018 Then why don't women just say that? Instead, they keep telling guys like "make her laugh", "take her out to do something fun and relaxing but also exciting", the list goes on, etc. A guy can do all those things but if she doesn't have that primal physical attraction toward him, it's all for nothing. But then this guy will be called a piece of **** for only being interested in women for the sex and not cause he cares about her. I'm guessing if she went on the date with you to begin with she was attracted to you. Do women who aren't attracted to you often go on dates with you? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 25, 2018 Share Posted October 25, 2018 Then why don't women just say that? Instead, they keep telling guys like "make her laugh", "take her out to do something fun and relaxing but also exciting", the list goes on, etc. Because it is all a game of social niceties. Women tend not to like or are attracted to men who are all about sex. It is the full package that matters to women. If you go for a job, you can be the friendliest, nicest person ever, but you need to have qualifications, else you are out of the running right away. Similarly with women if they do not find you attractive you are out of the running right away. The trick is to find women who do find you attractive and work on those, not to hanker after those who don't. Link to post Share on other sites
brigit87 Posted October 25, 2018 Share Posted October 25, 2018 Pick up the check? That's a sign of desperation/neediness. That's what "nice guys" do cause they think chivalry or paying for the girl can win her love/respect. I know of pretty girls who have total deadbeat loser boyfriends who don't even have a proper job and he essentially lives off of HER. How come these guys can get away with so much and us guys who are responsible, have good jobs, and have our **** together can't even get a 2nd date? Honestly, I have no idea. I never dated some deadbeat dude. I also never paid for a date but I'm older than you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EthanBlack Posted October 25, 2018 Author Share Posted October 25, 2018 Because it is all a game of social niceties. Women tend not to like or are attracted to men who are all about sex. It is the full package that matters to women. If you go for a job, you can be the friendliest, nicest person ever, but you need to have qualifications, else you are out of the running right away. Similarly with women if they do not find you attractive you are out of the running right away. The trick is to find women who do find you attractive and work on those, not to hanker after those who don't. Would a woman agree to go on a date with you out of pure politeness? Cause let's say, she's a friend of a friend? And she doesn't want to reject you outright? Link to post Share on other sites
DanielCain Posted October 25, 2018 Share Posted October 25, 2018 Society, your friends, keep telling you this myth that looks/height don't matter. But time and time again, I've witnessed that it does, whether it's my own experience or me being a 3rd party observer to someone else's experience. There has to be a physical attraction to spark something. I agree there is a wide variety of taste out there. One guy will not be attractive to a girl and another guy will. But there are universal traits of attractiveness that go beyond one's ethnicity, skin color, etc. And if you don't have any of those characteristics such as in my case, you're **** outta luck. You can be successful, accomplished, have the most interesting hobbies and be doing great for yourself but it wouldn't matter. Because you just don't have the right look. And she's not attracted to you. She may respect you and like you a lot but she's not attracted and so it'll never be anything more. I'm not trying to brag but I consider myself a very accomplished person. I'm successful in my career. I'm a ballroom dancer. I play music. I have a full and interesting life. Dating gurus out there keep saying that if you create a good life for yourself, women will follow. But none of that helps with the women I'm attracted to. They always end up dating some guy who is lesser than me but who is taller and more conventionally attractive. And in some cases, they're dating downright losers and they'll justify it by saying, "oh they're so X and Y" when in fact, it's simply because they're drawn to them physically and they have that physical spark of attraction. Not because the guy has such amazing qualities. I've been told by countless people that I have great qualities and that I deserve someone but I never find anyone because every woman I've been interested in is never interested back and instead ends up with some guy who isn't half the person I am but he's usually taller and better looking or has some sort of mysterious GREAT quality that supposedly no other guy has. For me, the thought of even just going out there and "trying again" is enough to send me into a tailspin of depression because all the humiliating episodes of failures just flood back. I've shut down all social media so I don't have to keep being bombarded from someone who has found new love. For me, giving up on dating is an act of self-preservation. I'm much happier when I can just focus on my hobbies/interests without the thought of any sort of dating outcomes. Simple question: how many women have you approached this past month? I read and replied to another post of yours. From what I could tell, you approach women rarely or not at all. Unless you're a certifiable stud, chicks aren't going to fall into your lap just because you're an accomplished ballroom dancer. YOU have to make the first move. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EthanBlack Posted October 25, 2018 Author Share Posted October 25, 2018 Honestly, I have no idea. I never dated some deadbeat dude. I also never paid for a date but I'm older than you. The thing is not to invest in a woman financially until you're sure about her intent/feelings for you. Paying for dates, even if the guy can afford it, shows that he's literally begging for her approval and affection. And you can't buy affection from a woman. So it makes total sense. What's the point in being chivalrous when you may never see her again? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 25, 2018 Share Posted October 25, 2018 Pick up the check? That's a sign of desperation/neediness. That's what "nice guys" do cause they think chivalry or paying for the girl can win her love/respect. Well if you have the attitude then no wonder you never get second dates... There is a courtship dance around paying/not paying the check. Get it wrong and you could be banished forever... Him: Let me get the bill. Her: No let me get it. Him; I insist. Her: OK thank you... (warm glow) Him: Second date? Her: Yes, please. Him: How about we split the bill? Her: Ok. Him: I had no sweet. Her: OK, I'll pay for my sweet course. Him: Great. Her: Fine... (Hmmm!!!) Him: Second date? Her: Let me check my diary when I get home.... (no chance) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 25, 2018 Share Posted October 25, 2018 Would a woman agree to go on a date with you out of pure politeness? Cause let's say, she's a friend of a friend? And she doesn't want to reject you outright? Yes, that could happen. Link to post Share on other sites
DanielCain Posted October 25, 2018 Share Posted October 25, 2018 This guy is just cluttering his head with too much pickup theory and various pointless hypotheticals. It's all a distraction so he doesn't have to take action and potentially face rejection. Or success. OP: how many women have you approached this past month? If you are not willing to approach any women, you should seriously shut up and stop wasting your time and ours. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author EthanBlack Posted October 25, 2018 Author Share Posted October 25, 2018 Yes, that could happen. Can you read this situation and give me your perspective? Read this: https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/667444-enthusiastic-replies-text-but-never-texts-first This guy is just cluttering his head with too much pickup theory and various pointless hypotheticals. It's all a distraction so he doesn't have to take action and potentially face rejection. Or success. OP: how many women have you approached this past month? If you are not willing to approach any women, you should seriously shut up and stop wasting your time and ours. Read this: https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/667444-enthusiastic-replies-text-but-never-texts-first Link to post Share on other sites
DanielCain Posted October 25, 2018 Share Posted October 25, 2018 Can you read this situation and give me your perspective? Read this: https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/667444-enthusiastic-replies-text-but-never-texts-first Read this: https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/667444-enthusiastic-replies-text-but-never-texts-first Don't duck the question: how many women have you approached in the last 30 days. Just type in the number. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EthanBlack Posted October 25, 2018 Author Share Posted October 25, 2018 Don't duck the question: how many women have you approached in the last 30 days. Just type in the number. The **** is your problem? I already expressed that meeting women is an issue for me in one of my other threads. I don't have a lot of avenues in which I can meet single women, much less ask them out. I told you online doesn't work for me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DanielCain Posted October 25, 2018 Share Posted October 25, 2018 The **** is your problem? I already expressed that meeting women is an issue for me in one of my other threads. I don't have a lot of avenues in which I can meet single women, much less ask them out. I told you online doesn't work for me. Ducking the question once again. So the answer is zero. Blaming racism when YOU are at fault. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EthanBlack Posted October 26, 2018 Author Share Posted October 26, 2018 Ducking the question once again. So the answer is zero. Blaming racism when YOU are at fault. It's not racism. It's preference. Short Asian guys simply aren't attractive aesthetically. It's not cause I'm Asian. It's cause I'm not attractive. If a white woman doesn't want to date me cause she doesn't find me attractive ,it doesn't make her a racist. Link to post Share on other sites
DanielCain Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 (edited) It's not racism. It's preference. Short Asian guys simply aren't attractive aesthetically. It's not cause I'm Asian. It's cause I'm not attractive. If a white woman doesn't want to date me cause she doesn't find me attractive ,it doesn't make her a racist. What is the population of your city? What is the population of your metro area? What is the population of the total area within easy driving distance, say 30 - 45 minutes? It's minimum of hundreds of thousands I bet. There are at least 10's of thousands of women of dating age within driving distance of you. The opportunities to socialize and meet women far exceed the amount of time you have. In other words, there is no better chance of meeting one or even many women, as you do now. You are young, healthy, have a car, and a stable source of income. But all you do is complain on the internet that racism or preferences or reptilians, are preventing you from meeting women when you haven't even spoken to a single woman this month! Edited October 26, 2018 by DanielCain Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 Because it is all a game of social niceties. Women tend not to like or are attracted to men who are all about sex. It is the full package that matters to women. If you go for a job, you can be the friendliest, nicest person ever, but you need to have qualifications, else you are out of the running right away. Similarly with women if they do not find you attractive you are out of the running right away. The trick is to find women who do find you attractive and work on those, not to hanker after those who don't. With due respect, what is the point if you don't find these people attractive? Why is it women can write a guy off yet what you advocate is guys must go after whoever likes them irrespective whether they find them attractive. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 See, that's a riot. You guys are funny you just need to work on it. Yeah don't try to tell girls about massively intellectual stuff they'll probably just stop listening and nod appropriately to be polite. Here's the formula: Make them laugh, tell them they're pretty and always pick up the check. (It's that simple.) I did use that on a date before it went down like rotten fish. But yes you are right its possible to be charming but it just never works for a lot of us, I am not going to put in effort with someone I am not wowed by to some degree, its just not worth it. Pretty has never usually been enough for me, pretty is useless if she cant have a conversation but more and more I going to chase an experience, I want to take someone out who is absolutely stunning, she must make people turn and look, I have done this once before and it was really nice, though I was lucky in that she had the whole package but also a bf... OP instead of chasing one thing maybe look at what you can get out in terms of experiences like I mentioned above. What is very true is we can sometimes give off unfriendly vibes but not realising we do so. Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 ...yeah you sound like a real fun date. Never date , never had to , but the times l've had would shut down LS. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 With due respect, what is the point if you don't find these people attractive? Why is it women can write a guy off yet what you advocate is guys must go after whoever likes them irrespective whether they find them attractive. Everyone needs to find and accept their level, that is the bottom line. We(gen) have to do that in all aspects of our lives, dating is no different. Women and men write off people every day that do not tick enough boxes, yes, but those that "struggle", need to reassess their situation honestly. Why are they struggling? All very well to say "I need to find her attractive"... but if the only truly attractive ones in your eyes are stunning head turners then that is totally unrealistic... that is never going to work. I get your "experience" anecdote, but it is actually what you would prefer and nothing then matches up, how could it? It is fantasy, and fantasy can be good, but when fantasy interferes with real life, there is a problem... Link to post Share on other sites
brigit87 Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 The thing is not to invest in a woman financially until you're sure about her intent/feelings for you. Paying for dates, even if the guy can afford it, shows that he's literally begging for her approval and affection. And you can't buy affection from a woman. So it makes total sense. What's the point in being chivalrous when you may never see her again? Dating is a gamble. Link to post Share on other sites
brigit87 Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 Well if you have the attitude then no wonder you never get second dates... There is a courtship dance around paying/not paying the check. Get it wrong and you could be banished forever... Him: Let me get the bill. Her: No let me get it. Him; I insist. Her: OK thank you... (warm glow) Him: Second date? Her: Yes, please. Him: How about we split the bill? Her: Ok. Him: I had no sweet. Her: OK, I'll pay for my sweet course. Him: Great. Her: Fine... (Hmmm!!!) Him: Second date? Her: Let me check my diary when I get home.... (no chance) That's great! I never had a guy ask me to split the bill. If I did I'd probably vomit on the table. Link to post Share on other sites
brigit87 Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 I did use that on a date before it went down like rotten fish. But yes you are right its possible to be charming but it just never works for a lot of us, I am not going to put in effort with someone I am not wowed by to some degree, its just not worth it. Pretty has never usually been enough for me, pretty is useless if she cant have a conversation but more and more I going to chase an experience, I want to take someone out who is absolutely stunning, she must make people turn and look, I have done this once before and it was really nice, though I was lucky in that she had the whole package but also a bf... OP instead of chasing one thing maybe look at what you can get out in terms of experiences like I mentioned above. What is very true is we can sometimes give off unfriendly vibes but not realising we do so. So basically you're going to trick women into dating you and use them because they're good looking and you like to hang out and be seen with a beautiful woman. Do you realize you're turning those women unknowingly into unpaid escorts? It's so wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
brigit87 Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 Never date , never had to , but the times l've had would shut down LS. Your experiences would shut down a website? LOL. Whatever. Link to post Share on other sites
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