Blanco Posted June 19, 2017 Share Posted June 19, 2017 Girly, as I and others told you when you posted about him contacting you a week ago, he was just pulling on the string to see if you were still there. Block him, or further prolong getting past this guy who isn't into you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Heartbrokenandhurt Posted June 19, 2017 Author Share Posted June 19, 2017 Girly, as I and others told you when you posted about him contacting you a week ago, he was just pulling on the string to see if you were still there. Block him, or further prolong getting past this guy who isn't into you. Why though? I don't see why bother doing that after 6 months of No Contact? Reading back of the convo we had though, he kept suggesting for me to stay in touch... 'Message me if you want to' etc. I used to really want contact, but this has just thrown a spanner in the works and I'm back to feeling inadequate when I was starting to feel a little better. Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted June 19, 2017 Share Posted June 19, 2017 Because it's a nice ego boost. It's a reminder that you are an option should things hit a dry spell for him. Is that what you want to be? An option someone turns to when the market gets a bit dry? Of course not. This guy has shown you where he stands. You just don't like it, so you're desperately reading between the lines. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Heartbrokenandhurt Posted June 22, 2017 Author Share Posted June 22, 2017 No I guess not. We haven't spoken now for about a week, and he has friend requested me on facebook. I plan to just ignore it, not accept or reject. I'm guessing that's just to be nosey. Link to post Share on other sites
1fish2fish Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 Block him so he can't send you another friend request. Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 People like this guy are manipulators. Listen to what others have said. He does not consider you his ideal of a partner. He is likely looking while creating this facade of 'possible' reconciliation. As soon as he finds someone else, he will be out again. He broke up with you and now he is playing games. You should know that he doesn't respect you nor does he find you an important priority. Don't contact him. You said it yourself, you were starting to feel good about yourself again. Once you resumed communication, you saw a glimmer of hope and now he's got you hooked. Bad news all around. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 He might have even thought he was serious to start with but when you showed him not so fast , he has to put in a bit of work first and squirm a bit, he's already out of puff. Your doing the right thing. Sorry to say but he was only very half hearted about it, probably at a bit of a loose end and so some second thoughts for the good times. but if he really wanted you back and for all the right reasons he'd be trying everything to prove it too ya. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Heartbrokenandhurt Posted June 22, 2017 Author Share Posted June 22, 2017 When we spoke the other week, I asked him why has it taken him so long to get in touch if he 'regrets' his decision, he said because I had said I don't want to be touch after the breakup. Bulls**t. I have a feeling that he has added me on facebook, either to be nosey... or to give me a little 'nudge' into sending him a message to boost his ego. He is making no effort what-so-ever to right his wrong. I do not believe him when he says he regrets breaking up with me. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 You're right. If he were serious he would be begging you back every day not going a week without contacting you again. Adding you to FB means nothing. His dating is probably slowed down that's why he contacted but realized he actually doesn't want to be tied down to one girl again. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GOB Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 Let me tell you, when my ex wanted to reconcile she literally sent me a message saying that she understands if I completely ignore the message but that she had made a mistake, freaked out and wanted to talk, no breadcrumbs, straight to the point. If I were you I would straight up tell him that you can't keep casually texting him, if he wants to meet and have a chat, let you know but if he doesn't, never respond to him again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 When we spoke the other week, I asked him why has it taken him so long to get in touch if he 'regrets' his decision, he said because I had said I don't want to be touch after the breakup. Bulls**t. I have a feeling that he has added me on facebook, either to be nosey... or to give me a little 'nudge' into sending him a message to boost his ego. He is making no effort what-so-ever to right his wrong. I do not believe him when he says he regrets breaking up with me. Believe me, if there is any regret, it's that he is alone or w/o a gf. Not that he dumped you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Heartbrokenandhurt Posted June 22, 2017 Author Share Posted June 22, 2017 I forgot to mention, that I also had surgery just before he contacted me. I told him this and that I was recovering. (He doesn't know what I had the surgery for). If he really was true to wanting to reconcile and regretted his decision... he has plenty of reason to contact me during this week we've been NC again. He could of easily asked me how I was, knowing I'm recovering. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 I forgot to mention, that I also had surgery just before he contacted me. I told him this and that I was recovering. (He doesn't know what I had the surgery for). If he really was true to wanting to reconcile and regretted his decision... he has plenty of reason to contact me during this week we've been NC again. He could of easily asked me how I was, knowing I'm recovering. So, YOU broke NC? This has become more interesting. So, you were not moving on? He contacted you b/c he saw an opportunity to further manipulate you. You provided him the crack to further play his games. Am I missing something? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 I forgot to mention, that I also had surgery just before he contacted me. I told him this and that I was recovering. (He doesn't know what I had the surgery for). If he really was true to wanting to reconcile and regretted his decision... he has plenty of reason to contact me during this week we've been NC again. He could of easily asked me how I was, knowing I'm recovering. Hey, you don't have to convince us of his low interest but you need to drive this home to your brain and stay NC. Why haven't you blocked him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Heartbrokenandhurt Posted June 22, 2017 Author Share Posted June 22, 2017 So, YOU broke NC? This has become more interesting. So, you were not moving on? He contacted you b/c he saw an opportunity to further manipulate you. You provided him the crack to further play his games. Am I missing something? No, I was in NC and he contacted me the day after I had had surgery out of the blue. (Since we haven't been in contact he didn't know I had just had surgery on the day he got in touch). He asked me to talk and thats when I told him im currently recovering from surgery. Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 No, I was in NC and he contacted me the day after I had had surgery out of the blue. (Since we haven't been in contact he didn't know I had just had surgery on the day he got in touch). He asked me to talk and thats when I told him im currently recovering from surgery. Okay, thanks for the clarification. Yup, he doesn't really care about you. The fact that he didn't mention your recovery, is a HUGE, GLARING indication that you are NOT a priority. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Heartbrokenandhurt Posted June 22, 2017 Author Share Posted June 22, 2017 Okay, thanks for the clarification. Yup, he doesn't really care about you. The fact that he didn't mention your recovery, is a HUGE, GLARING indication that you are NOT a priority. He asked me how I was feeling last week. But we've been NC ever since. The conversation died off, there was nothing to continue it and I just left it. A week later, this random friend request from him. Im still off work recovering atm and he knows this. Link to post Share on other sites
1fish2fish Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 He asked me how I was feeling last week. But we've been NC ever since. The conversation died off, there was nothing to continue it and I just left it. A week later, this random friend request from him. Im still off work recovering atm and he knows this. But you haven't gone No Contact ever since. You just haven't been in communication because the conversation died off...not because you've blocked every avenue for him to contact you. He knows you're recovering and he hasn't made any effort to find out how you're doing. He cares more about his ego than he does about your well being. IF he truly regretted breaking up with you AND wanted to try a reconciliation, he'd be at your door. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 He asked me how I was feeling last week. But we've been NC ever since. The conversation died off, there was nothing to continue it and I just left it. A week later, this random friend request from him. Im still off work recovering atm and he knows this. Yeah there was nothing else for him to say because obviously if you are recovering from surgery you can't have sex so he moved on. This guy does not care about you. Why haven't you blocked him from contacting you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Heartbrokenandhurt Posted June 26, 2017 Author Share Posted June 26, 2017 I deleted the request and messaged to tell him im not comfortable to accept. We had a conversation where I asked him outright he reasons for contact and wanting to meet up. He says he thinks im an amazing person and that is all it is, nothing underlying. Im in two minds... I either, meet him in person for this 'catch up' in the hopes something will 'spark' again. Or I tell him now that im not going to continue to be insulted and this meet up will probably benefit him only so its not a good idea and to not contact me again. Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 He broke up with you. It is not your job to sell yourself to him and try to ignite a spark. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Heartbrokenandhurt Posted June 26, 2017 Author Share Posted June 26, 2017 Im just so torn. At the moment im closer to sending the message and blocking. I have a feeling a meeting wouldn't happen anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetfish Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 Im just so torn. At the moment im closer to sending the message and blocking. I have a feeling a meeting wouldn't happen anyway. Nothing to be torn about. One moment you were amazing. He dumped you. Now you amazing again. Ask your self this question. Who is sweating who? If someone wants you they will move a mountain... if not he is not worth getting your heart... broken again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Heartbrokenandhurt Posted June 28, 2017 Author Share Posted June 28, 2017 I just don't understand it. He gets in touch... he has complimented me a few times during our conversations, called me beautiful and amazing and lovely... yet it seems like hes adamant that whats done is done and we can't go back. In his own words 'I can't change what I wronged but I'm glad we can still talk'. I really don't understand why he didn't just leave me be if he doesn't want to be together ever again? Because this has set me back and surely he must have realised it might?? I'm going to give him a few weeks to reach out, if he doesn't, I should block him again for good. With no explaination. Another thing I notice, is he doesn't like talking about 'us'. He won't speak about the past or get deep... I know he feels bad about hurting me, is this why or is it simply hes uninterested in us... in which case, why reach out? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 My ex who came out of the woodwork after dumping me 6 months ago, said he regrets making that decision. But he isn't doing a lot to 'right' that. For example he said 'I can't go back in time and change it but if I could I would'. and 'I understand that whats done is done'. If someone says something like this to you, ask them "why are you telling me this?". Hopefully this will make him reflect on his actions. But if it doesn't have the desired effect and he tells you something like "I just wanted you to know" or "I just wanted to share my hurt" respond with "I really don't want/need to hear this" Honestly, when dealing with rubbish like he's doing, the best defense is offense. Firmly put him in his place. Link to post Share on other sites
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