Bromeo Posted February 8, 2017 Share Posted February 8, 2017 Wouldn't that just mean you both have your numbers added to Facebook therefore linked to messenger? I have people from my address book who I don't have added on Facebook showing as active when they're online. Perhaps, but in this case, when clicked on her profile button, her profile card showed up specifically stating "XXX used your number to reach you", whereas before her messenger profile stated "you and XXX arent connected on messenger." I probably should have laid that out clearer. Irregardless (love that word), life was perfect online until she kicked up her games again. I feel like this time I'll win the $125 wine bet. lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author Heartbrokenandhurt Posted February 9, 2017 Author Share Posted February 9, 2017 My thread appears to have gone abit off topic! haha. Anyway... I haven't replied. Just found it bizzare that 2 weeks after I deleted him he texts me in the middle of the night seemingly annoyed id deleted him. He also went on to say 'I wanted to stay friends'. Everytime he says 'friends' I feel so insulted!! Link to post Share on other sites
Jimmyjackson Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 My thread appears to have gone abit off topic! haha. Anyway... I haven't replied. Just found it bizzare that 2 weeks after I deleted him he texts me in the middle of the night seemingly annoyed id deleted him. He also went on to say 'I wanted to stay friends'. Everytime he says 'friends' I feel so insulted!! "I want to be friends" = Please don't hate my guts. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
marky00 Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 He also went on to say 'I wanted to stay friends'. Everytime he says 'friends' I feel so insulted!! Yeah don't worry about that. It is standard post break-up stuff. The reason why it feels insulting is because you both know being friends is impossible. It's so rare for a friendship to form after a significant relationship. And when it does happen, it's usually because both parties realised they didn't care that much anyway. He doesn't really want to be your friend because he also knows its a 1/1000000 chance of a friendship actually working. It's insulting because you wonder then why bother suggesting friendship. It's all about offloading guilt and weening off the dumpee as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Heartbrokenandhurt Posted February 9, 2017 Author Share Posted February 9, 2017 "I want to be friends" = Please don't hate my guts. Well he did say 'I thought things were alright with us'. I feel insulted because its a demotion isn't it? Girlfriend to 'friend'. I didn't reply and I haven't heard since so he can't be that bothered to have lost a 'friend' in me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Heartbrokenandhurt Posted February 9, 2017 Author Share Posted February 9, 2017 Also... wouldn't you agree the fact it took 2 weeks to notice id gone from his friends list just proves the total lack of interest in me? Friend or otherwise?! He goes on facebook at least a few times a day. Link to post Share on other sites
Jimmyjackson Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 Well he did say 'I thought things were alright with us'. I feel insulted because its a demotion isn't it? Girlfriend to 'friend'. I didn't reply and I haven't heard since so he can't be that bothered to have lost a 'friend' in me. Yes, the friends line is just to make it easier for him so he can detach quicker and you not dislike him. Yep, like I said originally, his ego took a brief hit...he doesn't care in all likelihood. At least you have your head in the right direction, some people accept the arm of 'friendship' to try and stay in their lives. You know better than that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 Well he did say 'I thought things were alright with us'. I feel insulted because its a demotion isn't it? Girlfriend to 'friend'. I didn't reply and I haven't heard since so he can't be that bothered to have lost a 'friend' in me. Also... wouldn't you agree the fact it took 2 weeks to notice id gone from his friends list just proves the total lack of interest in me? Friend or otherwise?! He goes on facebook at least a few times a day. It is definitely a demotion. If you were to have sex with him again you would just be a FWB. I also agree that 2 weeks to notice you're gone is another reason to move on because he certainly has. You are smart to not reply and continue to heal. Link to post Share on other sites
Nailhead Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 I deleted my ex from facebook a few weeks ago after realising after having a civilised conversation a few weeks after BU that there is no hope left for getting together again. He broke up with me after 6 months saying 'Its not you, its me' 'My feelings changed' 'Spark has gone' etc. He noticed I deleted him and text me saying 'I thought we agreed to be friendly and all was alright with us'. I did agree to be civil but not friends. Im thinking I should stay no contact. He has ONLY just noticed im gone from his profile after a few weeks...?! Shows to me that I have rarely crossed his mind! Probably only noticed he'd been unfriended because his family still like my posts... Im still hurting alot but im getting better slowly. Your X only wants you on his FB friends list so he can keep tabs on you. Unfriend and move on. You may want to unfriend his family as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Heartbrokenandhurt Posted February 9, 2017 Author Share Posted February 9, 2017 Your X only wants you on his FB friends list so he can keep tabs on you. Unfriend and move on. You may want to unfriend his family as well. May I ask why you think he wants to keep tabs on me? He clearly doesn't care that much... Although he did say he likes me as a person. I'd feel bad unfriending his family as they were always so good to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Jimmyjackson Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 May I ask why you think he wants to keep tabs on me? He clearly doesn't care that much... Although he did say he likes me as a person. I'd feel bad unfriending his family as they were always so good to me. Curiosity, I think we all do from time to time. Even people we haven't dated we often wonder 'I wonder what he/she is up to these days'. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 May I ask why you think he wants to keep tabs on me? He clearly doesn't care that much... Although he did say he likes me as a person. I'd feel bad unfriending his family as they were always so good to me. They will also be good to his next gf so for your own good, delete them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Heartbrokenandhurt Posted February 10, 2017 Author Share Posted February 10, 2017 I very nearly text him back earlier... saying something like 'Why would I want to be your friend when you think im flawed?!' But then I remembered I deleted the texts and his number... luckily. Staying NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Heartbrokenandhurt Posted February 12, 2017 Author Share Posted February 12, 2017 My dumper text me to let me know that his pet (who I loved) has died. He said he didn't know if to let me know or not but knew how fond I was of said pet. I was keeping No Contact, but i'd feel really mean not to respond to this. How do I go about it? I was thinking just a brief 'Im really sorry to hear that' sort of message with no questions? Then if he responds to that, just ignore it. I guess he let me know because he knows i've deleted him from facebook so if he has put anything on there I wouldn't have seen it. I don't really see why he has let me know this however... its not like I was going to see the pet again anyway. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 I don't even see a reason to respond to this message. If you must, respond as you suggested and say "I'm sorry to hear this. Take care." The problem will be that he will probably respond back, and that might provide an opening to begin a conversation. So you have to decide if you want to risk that and if you can commit to not saying anything back at all. I still wouldn't respond at all though. Texts like these seem benign but can end up causing more problems down the line. I can see you going down a rabbit hole of thinking after this is all said and done. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 I was trying to think how I would react in your situation. I think I would text 'Thanks for letting me know' and leave it at that. I would not leave anything in the text that suggests you want to re-engage with him. Sorry to hear it, esp if you were fond of the pet. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 If you really loved the pet, which it doesn't sounds like you do, then say "Thanks for letting me know. He was a good dog." If you really weren't invested in the pet, then he's just using this as an excuse, and you should not respond to it or he'll just keep thinking of excuses. You could act like you never got it. Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetfish Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 Stay no contact... Link to post Share on other sites
jamili Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 (edited) IMO, as messed up as I think it is, it was an excuse to contact you. Not that he's lying about the death, but rather it's an attempt at opening the lines of communication. I think if he really cared about you or this had anything to do with actually reconnecting with you/wanting you back, he would have called. Stay no contact IMO (I know it's HARD to do, trust me). Unless you don't want him back, of course, then just send something short and polite back. Also, sorry to hear about the pet :\ Edited February 12, 2017 by jamili 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Heartbrokenandhurt Posted February 12, 2017 Author Share Posted February 12, 2017 I send him a short reply back in which I just said that it was sad news and im sorry to hear about it. It might have something to do with the fact I ignored his last texts (see my last thread...) but it could just be as it is, to let me know the news and nothing more. He wants to stay friends but since I unfriended him on facebook and ignored his messages asking why maybe he is testing the waters to see if I'll be friendly. Im going back Nc now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Heartbrokenandhurt Posted February 14, 2017 Author Share Posted February 14, 2017 Dumper replied acknowledging my 'Sorry to hear' text and said 'Hope you didn't mind that I text you'. What? Why did he even bother to text me then? He dumped me because his feelings changed... he didn't have to let me know bout the pet. Yes its sad news but I wasn't going to see them again anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetfish Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 Dumper replied acknowledging my 'Sorry to hear' text and said 'Hope you didn't mind that I text you'. What? Why did he even bother to text me then? He dumped me because his feelings changed... he didn't have to let me know bout the pet. Yes its sad news but I wasn't going to see them again anyway. Thats why it was best to stay NC Link to post Share on other sites
Author Heartbrokenandhurt Posted February 14, 2017 Author Share Posted February 14, 2017 My reply was pretty short and closed ended. I haven't replied to his last text... I went straight back NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Heartbrokenandhurt Posted February 16, 2017 Author Share Posted February 16, 2017 I've been finding things really hard the past few days. I keep looking back and wondering at what point did things change for him and if there was anything I could of done. I feel like the relationship failed because of me but I don't know what it was I did/should I done. This is horrible. After weeks of what I felt were improvement, I feel to have slid right back down again. I sometimes have hope, that he will miss me and want to try again. But when I think about that I also think although it would be nice, the trust would be gone for me. How could I ever feel secure again? I don't get why he text me the breadcrumb, I don't want to speak to him. (Hes obviously aware of that by saying 'Hope you didn't mind me texting'. Yet... at the same time, I really do. Its so confusing and stressful. Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted February 17, 2017 Share Posted February 17, 2017 Block his number. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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