Don't know what happened UPDATE: I'm not healing.

[Zahara]

I still have feelings for him. Though I believe he probably doesn't for me, based on the break up and since. We were NC for 6 months... he was the one to orignally reach out, which I guess gave me false hope. I guess i'm looking for signs he still cares because im still hurting.

 

If you are still hurting then you need to go back to NC. You don't open the lines of communication with a dumper to comfort painful feelings. It only digs further into the wound.

 

Contact from the dumper doesn't necessarily mean that they are interested and by the looks of it, it doesn't seem like he is in the same place you are.

 

I would suggest you reinforce NC and continue your healing.

[InAFog]

I used to stalk one of my exes facebook pages for any sign that he was hurting like I was. I read into EVERYTHING! He posted too much, didn't post as often as he used to.... Ridiculous. Truth is, he wasn't hurting. And that hurt me a thousand times even more. In fact, I was really just watching him fall in love with someone else. The pain was immense. It IS NOT WORTH IT.

Edited August 22, 2017 by InAFog

[basil67]

I guess i'm looking for signs he still cares because im still hurting.

 

There is nothing in any of this which would indicate that he cares for you in a romantic sense.

[Heartbrokenandhurt]

I'd rather not be alive than continue to deal with unrequitted love. It consumes my thoughts, I feel inadequate, not attractive enough. And it hurts every day that hes looking for someone whom will 'fit his bill'. But why wasn't that person me? If it were in the beginning, why am I no longer?

 

Even work is tough, seeing couples and wondering how they keep the love of their boyfriends whilst I couldn't get mines to develop through no major fault of my own.

 

I'm just so so sad, and because its been a while, nobody understands.

 

I am having therapy, i'm just at such a loss.

 

Forgot to mention that I am dating, but feel nothing towards these other men... yet I kind of need validation because I feel horrendous.

[d0nnivain]

I'm so sorry you are hurting. I'm glad to hear you are in therapy.

 

Rejection is painful & this time of year compounds the problem.

 

The beginnings of relationships are all hearts & flowers. We think the new person is all that but it's really just an audition. Then some how the relationship doesn't pass the test of time. It doesn't make any person bad or wrong. It's simply confirmation that the two people are not a perfect fit for each other.

 

Hang in there

[HiCrunchy]

I'd rather not be alive than continue to deal with unrequitted love. It consumes my thoughts, I feel inadequate, not attractive enough. And it hurts every day that hes looking for someone whom will 'fit his bill'. But why wasn't that person me? If it were in the beginning, why am I no longer?

 

Even work is tough, seeing couples and wondering how they keep the love of their boyfriends whilst I couldn't get mines to develop through no major fault of my own.

 

I'm just so so sad, and because its been a while, nobody understands.

 

I am having therapy, i'm just at such a loss.

 

Forgot to mention that I am dating, but feel nothing towards these other men... yet I kind of need validation because I feel horrendous.

 

I have read your entire thread, and your story is so similar to mine it is also shocking.

We both dated our loves for 6 months.

We both were blindsided by the dumping that occurred.

We both were single for a long time before the relationship happened.

 

 

 

It has been a year since my break up and my heart still hurts for him, so completely understand where you are coming from.

 

I am also having a bit of trouble coping with the loss of everything. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in this.

 

Take Care of yourself.

 

- HiCrunchy

[Blanco]

I'll submit once more that this guy is not the real issue here. You have abysmal self-worth and that is the core of the problem. You're just using this guy as a tangible thing to project those insecurities on to.

 

Continue on with therapy and building some sense of self-worth. At the same time, do not let yourself dwell on the fallacy that this guy's love would some how much you whole. It wouldn't.