My fiance saw old sex videos of me

[Quiet Storm]

I think many women don't see their past actions as a true reflection of who they are as a person. Therefore, they feel it is irrelevant to their current relationship.

 

The fact that he didn't want to know about your past was a clue that he might not be able to handle it. That was a form of self protection (avoidance), which shows he was somewhat aware of his limitations. In his mind, why ruin a good thing with unnecessary information that shouldn't matter? Ignorance is bliss.

 

Now he is confronted with a reality that can't be avoided. And although it shouldn't matter, it does matter. We don't get to decide what's important to our significant other.

 

This is a fairly common relationship issue, IMO (not so much the porn, but sexual past in general). The reality is that revelations or discoveries about the past can change the course of a relationship. It can change the whole tone of a relationship.

 

The usual scenario is the woman won't disclose her past in the beginning because she fears she will be judged and excluded as "serious relationship material"- which is not an unfounded fear. A disclosure like that probably would alter the way most guys view her. The woman is kind of in a lose-lose situation. Omit the truth and risk discovery years down the line (which could be devastating to many if married with kids). Or be honest and risk being devalued and put into "fckbuddy" status.

 

In her mind, it's none of his business and has nothing to do with their relationship. So it often isn't disclosed. She figures if it comes to light in the future, by that time, he will love her and it will be obvious to him that she's changed.

 

The problem is that many men, even guys that seem emotionally secure, fair and open minded, just can't handle it. It's like they logically know that her past shouldn't matter, but it creates very strong emotions that they just aren't equipped to deal with.

 

They end up very conflicted- they love her and don't want this news to change the way he feels about her. But it does.

 

Women often feel that love can conquer all, but a lot of men prioritize other feelings ahead of love. Especially respect. Some men would rather be respected than loved. So it becomes difficult for their love for her to overcome feelings of embarrassment and pride, even if he really wants to get over it.

 

Expanding on the respect factor, although they rarely admit it, some men assign a lot of weight to how other men see them. They don't want to be viewed as stupid, a chump or disrespected. So the fact that your ex sent those videos with the warning "see who you're marrying" was like a gunshot to his ego.

 

So not only does he have to accept your past, he has to accept the reality that other men used you for their gratification. This likely creates a conflict within him. On one hand he is proud to be marrying a great woman that he loves so much. On the other hand, he is ashamed and thinking, why did she let these guys use her? Why would she participate in that if she didn't genuinely enjoy it?

 

What often happens in these situations is that the guy will devalue her, which changes the way he treats her. So even if a couple stays together, it's often an ongoing problem throughout the entire relationship. He loves her and feels bad for judging her, but can't manage his emotions/disappointment/ego. This results in a miserable relationship for both of them, because she is always feeling judged by something that she feels is irrelevant to their relationship.

 

I think you just have to give him time and space to see if he can deal with it. This is a huge shock to him. If he chooses to split up (or if he stays, but continues to punish you), then you need to accept that he's not the right guy for you.

 

We all want to be loved and accepted for who we are. In order to have a truly intimate relationship, you have to open yourself up and be vulnerable. If you withhold details about the past, then it's like he is only loving the sanitized version of you. True intimacy is loving each other, flaws and all. Our past experiences, even the ones we regret, are part of our evolution as a human being. If we can't share everything, even the bad stuff, how can a couple have true intimacy?

[BluesPower]

QS, really good post...

 

I am thinking that a lot of men (and maybe just a lot of people) are really insecure in life in general.

 

I read all the time where men in particular and some women stay in horrible marriages and relationships because they think no one will date them.

 

And people worry about their SO's past and it makes them feel insecure.

 

I just don't get it. I am not as pretty as I use to be and I have never ever had trouble meeting women. I just think people live in such fear, I will never understand it.

 

If this girl's F cannot get over it he is not the right one. The right one is out there though.

[DKT3]

I think many women don't see their past actions as a true reflection of who they are as a person. Therefore, they feel it is irrelevant to their current relationship.

 

The fact that he didn't want to know about your past was a clue that he might not be able to handle it. That was a form of self protection (avoidance), which shows he was somewhat aware of his limitations. In his mind, why ruin a good thing with unnecessary information that shouldn't matter? Ignorance is bliss.

 

Now he is confronted with a reality that can't be avoided. And although it shouldn't matter, it does matter. We don't get to decide what's important to our significant other.

 

This is a fairly common relationship issue, IMO (not so much the porn, but sexual past in general). The reality is that revelations or discoveries about the past can change the course of a relationship. It can change the whole tone of a relationship.

 

The usual scenario is the woman won't disclose her past in the beginning because she fears she will be judged and excluded as "serious relationship material"- which is not an unfounded fear. A disclosure like that probably would alter the way most guys view her. The woman is kind of in a lose-lose situation. Omit the truth and risk discovery years down the line (which could be devastating to many if married with kids). Or be honest and risk being devalued and put into "fckbuddy" status.

 

In her mind, it's none of his business and has nothing to do with their relationship. So it often isn't disclosed. She figures if it comes to light in the future, by that time, he will love her and it will be obvious to him that she's changed.

 

The problem is that many men, even guys that seem emotionally secure, fair and open minded, just can't handle it. It's like they logically know that her past shouldn't matter, but it creates very strong emotions that they just aren't equipped to deal with.

 

They end up very conflicted- they love her and don't want this news to change the way he feels about her. But it does.

 

Women often feel that love can conquer all, but a lot of men prioritize other feelings ahead of love. Especially respect. Some men would rather be respected than loved. So it becomes difficult for their love for her to overcome feelings of embarrassment and pride, even if he really wants to get over it.

 

Expanding on the respect factor, although they rarely admit it, some men assign a lot of weight to how other men see them. They don't want to be viewed as stupid, a chump or disrespected. So the fact that your ex sent those videos with the warning "see who you're marrying" was like a gunshot to his ego.

 

So not only does he have to accept your past, he has to accept the reality that other men used you for their gratification. This likely creates a conflict within him. On one hand he is proud to be marrying a great woman that he loves so much. On the other hand, he is ashamed and thinking, why did she let these guys use her? Why would she participate in that if she didn't genuinely enjoy it?

 

What often happens in these situations is that the guy will devalue her, which changes the way he treats her. So even if a couple stays together, it's often an ongoing problem throughout the entire relationship. He loves her and feels bad for judging her, but can't manage his emotions/disappointment/ego. This results in a miserable relationship for both of them, because she is always feeling judged by something that she feels is irrelevant to their relationship.

 

I think you just have to give him time and space to see if he can deal with it. This is a huge shock to him. If he chooses to split up (or if he stays, but continues to punish you), then you need to accept that he's not the right guy for you.

 

We all want to be loved and accepted for who we are. In order to have a truly intimate relationship, you have to open yourself up and be vulnerable. If you withhold details about the past, then it's like he is only loving the sanitized version of you. True intimacy is loving each other, flaws and all. Our past experiences, even the ones we regret, are part of our evolution as a human being. If we can't share everything, even the bad stuff, how can a couple have true intimacy?

Agree with most....however when one engages In risky sexual behavior I think it should be disclosed. Yet, it's very true that it will change how she is viewed, some men will run right away, other will view her as a sex toy and look to capitalize on the opportunities for wild sexual adventure.

 

I disagree with it not being who you are....people simply don't venture far from thier core values. It's believed that people change, the truth is very very few actually do. People modify behavior and become better at presentation.

 

I think it will be an uphill battle with this guy for her, if he feels terrible about sleeping with 4 women, there is very little chance he will ever come to grips with the lifestyle she lead in her late teens and having seen visual proof. I can only imagine, I don't think many of us would be comfortable with that visual. It's a bad situation for two seemingly good people.

[BluesPower]

You may be right. But this is where I just don't understand people and insecurity.

 

I could not care less, especially after a reasonable explanation.

[elaine567]

You may be right. But this is where I just don't understand people and insecurity.

 

I could not care less, especially after a reasonable explanation.

 

But that is because you essentially do not believe in monogamy and have had an "interesting" and varied sex life, I guess little now "shocks" you.

 

The fiancé on the other hand has a low number and thought he was marrying a near virgin like himself, but he now finds that is not true, and that changes things for him big time.

His almost chaste and pure fiancée had another life that included, sexual abuse, sleeping with other men, threesomes AND women. Add to that she has a family history of sexual abuse and suicide.

 

And yes it is totally unfair to the OP as no doubt she was a mixed up kid, who got into the hands of a sexual user/abuser, but all that is far too messy for many men to consider taking on long term.

They often do not empathise as to their mind she is a promiscuous woman who "loved it" or deserved it, not a damaged, vulnerable young woman who was taken advantage of, brainwashed and abused. They tend to project their own feelings about "wild sex" onto her, and fail to see that such abused women do not "love it", they very often have no choice whatsoever in the matter.

 

The fiancé, I very much doubt will get over this, sorry to say. He and his family are far too "respectable", to cope with this bombshell, the shock will have almost killed them no doubt.

 

As Quiet storm concisely put it -

Expanding on the respect factor, although they rarely admit it, some men assign a lot of weight to how other men see them. They don't want to be viewed as stupid, a chump or disrespected. So the fact that your ex sent those videos with the warning "see who you're marrying" was like a gunshot to his ego.

 

The abuser still wins even 10 years on... sad.

 

(OP - Revenge porn is a criminal misdemeanour in many places around the world, please investigate and consider reporting him, as the last thing you want is for this to hang over your head for life. Next time it could be your work, your friends, your neighbours...)

[Wade Lamare]

You may be right. But this is where I just don't understand people and insecurity.

 

I could not care less, especially after a reasonable explanation.

 

As I said before we, and the OP need to give this guy a chance. Not everyone is as worldly as we'd like to think we are.

 

I'm no Alpha 'eats nails for breakfast and pees battery acid' type of guy but I think I'm fairly unflappable with this sort of thing. However I'm fairly sure that on getting engaged and starting to make plans for marriage I'd be rocked back on my heels by a series of unexpected videos of my wife to be playing Mr Wobbly Hides his Helmet with a series of partners in a porno.

 

If I were the OP I'd hope that he calms down.

 

If I were her fiancé I'd probably take a day or so out to collect my thoughts and go over all the WTF's.

 

Suggest to her that we put the engagement/wedding on hold while all this is sorted out.

 

Ask her side of the story and listen.

 

Go ahead with the engagement and send the ex a video of my finger unfurling.

 

A reasonable explanation? A reasonable explanation some time ago would have probably avoided all this unnecessary drama.

 

I do agree we have a right to our past but when entering into a life partnership I think some disclosure is necessary. Secrets are not good in a marriage. Stuff like "I'm an axe murderer", "I have four children already" or "I was forced to perform in a sex video by an abuser". These things have a habit of eventually coming to light.

[neowulf]

It takes a saint to be able to forgive and still able to love. are you people saints?

 

This is too traumatic for average person, have you people consider the bf's feelings as well?

 

I find rigid, judgmental types seem to have one thing in common. They are steadfast in the belief that such poor choices are simply beyond them.

 

They would never even contemplate such a choice, therefore, anyone who would should get what's coming to them.

 

This woman was abused, first mentally, then sexually, by a man whom she was unfortunate enough to fall in love with. This all happened when she was young and at one of the most turbulent times in a persons life, the teen years.

 

We're also talking sex. Your attitude towards sex will greatly color how much of a big deal this is. She didn't murder someone. She hasn't done prison time. She's not a drug addict or worse, a dealer. She doesn't have a gambling problem. She isn't suffering from untreated schizophrenia.

 

She had sex with some men. Sex she didn't want to have, but felt pressured into. That's it. We're not exactly talking about an ex porn star here.

 

If her boyfriend can't forgive her for this, if he really can't move past it, then he doesn't love her enough. If that's his line in the sand, so be it. But I wouldn't give up the love of my life over something like this. I wouldn't give her psychotic ex the satisfaction of destroying the happiness we'd managed to find.

 

But that's just me.

[Gibrale]

He doesn't want to be with me anymore... He came home, took the ring back, said I'm not who he agreed to marry and that he doesn't think of me the same anymore. He took his clothes and other stuff and left. He told at least one of his friends why he left, because I saw a facebook comment. Someone else made an unrelated post and this (best)friend commented saying "Next thing you know you find out your fiance banged a few dozen men and likes gang bangs like 'his name here'. The guy deleted it after but I still saw it.

 

It was 10 years ago... I was supposed to stay in the past. No one knew about it and that's how I wanted it. Now people do, and I have no clue how many.

 

I never wanted to do it. I was never into it. But because there wasn't a gun to my head in his eyes I did want to and that's what I'm into. He thinks I'd cheat on him. He thinks it's embarrassing being with someone with so many partners. Thinks he might know people who I slept with. Doesn't want to be married to a "porn star" as he put it.

 

My son thought of him as his dad. He's confused and hurt and I can't tell him the truth. I've always been honest with him. Anything that he has wanted to know he was told the truth.

 

Something that I wanted to forget about is going to follow me around forever. My ex continues to make my life hell. He gets 8 hours a month to visit our son, rarely shows up. He came this time and with a smug look asked how it was going. My son told me that his "dad" said he was going to be coming more and going back to court. So of course he's upset about that, he's a stranger to him.

 

Everything can come crashing down so fast...

[GunslingerRoland]

Have you talked to a lawyer yet? How about law enforcement? if not why not?

 

I mean obviously this isn't going to fix things with your fiance. But you can't let your ex do this to you.

 

As for your fiance, you probably can't fix things. But you can call him out on his hypocrisy. He wasn't a virgin when you met, whether you had sex with 2 people or 30 people doesn't change who you are. Especially with the fact that you were coerced into much of it.

[BluesPower]

I am so sorry that this happened.

 

I don't know if you can do anything about what your ex did. But, you really should see if there is anything you can do legally to make him stop.

 

Listen, you were young, you were in an abusive relationship with your ex. Maybe you should have refused, but sometimes when those things happen it seems like there is not way out.

 

Your Ex F made his choice, I guess it is understandable for some people. I don't think I would have reacted that way in this situation but who really knows.

 

The thing is that you cannot determine your self worth by something like this. It happened, it was abusive, and now, there is nothing you can do about it.

 

All you can do is be the best mother and woman that you can be. In your next relationship, bring this up before it gets too serious and see what that one thinks. Frankly, if a man really loves you and has any type of open mind, he will understand.

 

You are not a 10 YO video. Don't feel that way, grieve this loss and do your best to move on.

 

Good luck...

[DKT3]

I'm sorry you're having a tough go. Yet understand this doesn't make him a bad guy. We all have our deal breakers, somethings we just can't accept.

 

I feel the mistake you made was not getting out in front of your past, this allows your ex to control manipulate and abuse you. Given his behavior, I'm a little shocked he has used this information to entice you into a continuation of related sexual behavior.

 

Everyone is up in arms about taking legal actions, honestly it's a fruitless venture to go that route. But you can take control of your past and at the same time break this hold he has to use it against you.

[Friskyone4u]

He doesn't want to be with me anymore... He came home, took the ring back, said I'm not who he agreed to marry and that he doesn't think of me the same anymore. He took his clothes and other stuff and left. He told at least one of his friends why he left, because I saw a facebook comment. Someone else made an unrelated post and this (best)friend commented saying "Next thing you know you find out your fiance banged a few dozen men and likes gang bangs like 'his name here'. The guy deleted it after but I still saw it.

 

It was 10 years ago... I was supposed to stay in the past. No one knew about it and that's how I wanted it. Now people do, and I have no clue how many.

 

I never wanted to do it. I was never into it. But because there wasn't a gun to my head in his eyes I did want to and that's what I'm into. He thinks I'd cheat on him. He thinks it's embarrassing being with someone with so many partners. Thinks he might know people who I slept with. Doesn't want to be married to a "porn star" as he put it.

 

My son thought of him as his dad. He's confused and hurt and I can't tell him the truth. I've always been honest with him. Anything that he has wanted to know he was told the truth.

 

Something that I wanted to forget about is going to follow me around forever. My ex continues to make my life hell. He gets 8 hours a month to visit our son, rarely shows up. He came this time and with a smug look asked how it was going. My son told me that his "dad" said he was going to be coming more and going back to court. So of course he's upset about that, he's a stranger to him.

 

Everything can come crashing down so fast...

 

Gibrale,

 

Very sad story. Heartbreaking to read. Everyone is different. There are men out there who could understand exactly what happened and who could get past it. And there are men out there who divorce over a ONS or emotional affairs.

 

You ex is a true ass hole, but I doubt if there is much you can do unless you are either wealthy enough to pay a lot of legal fees or can find a group who prosecute men for what I think they call "revenge porn". But since your fiance has already seen it, not sure if that will do much good.

 

Unfortunately, if there is a lesson to be learned here, it is that these things can come back to haunt you. In your case, you did not willingly and enthusiastically do this, but there are obviously quite a few young women out there performing in porn films and videos as "fun" and quick money who hope to get married in the future, and very few of them probably imagine what has happened to you happening to them. They will live their married life hoping one of their husbands friends does not stumble upon the fun experience.

 

You are obviously the victim here, not of your fiance but of your pitiful excuse of a man ex. All i can say is i am sure everyone here hopes you can recover and lead a happy life once you heal.

 

The only thing i would say is that since this piece of work your ex is will be around for a while because of the child, I guess you better consider being upfront with any new relationships you form, regardless of how the conversation about "others" goes.

 

Best wishes to you.

[seekingpeaceinlove]

I'm so sorry that you're suffering, Gabrale. Your ex-fiance was clearly not the right man for you. There will be someone in your future who will accept your past and more than that...want to protect you. Your ex chose to walk away from you and he has every right to do so but it proves he was not right for you.

 

You are not your past and you have the right to change, grow, heal and move on from your history.

 

Do some research regarding the sex vids and pursuing legal action. I can't imagine that there aren't any laws that would protect you from this BS.

 

Focus on your yourself, your son and in the future, be honest with the person you intend to have a serious relationship with. Filter out the ones who cannot handle your past.

 

You DESERVE true, selfless, mutual love. Don't settle for anything less..and this man who chose to walk away from you was not that true love. Please understand that. If he was...he would have stayed.

 

(BIG HUGS)

[Wade Lamare]

So sorry to hear of this. And the only blame attached to anyone in this whole sad story is your ex. If I typed what I thought of the worthless sack of stuff I'd be banned.

 

Two things, first is not a criticism but an observation. In any future relationship, or if by some miracle your ex fiancé has a change of heart, given your abusive ex's nature you need to get this info out there. At least you can control the exposure and explain the abuse you received. Although everyone is entitled to their past some things are best not kept in a marriage.

 

Two, you need to find a way to sort this idiot out, unless of course having ruined your life temporarily he is now 'happy'. Even if your next bf is understanding of the position you are in and stuff for brains ex can't get under his skin, what's to stop him sending the vid to your son, even telling him "that's how you were conceived. Or arranging to have it played on your wedding day or other important day?

 

I don't want to alarm you but this guy sounds like absolute poison tbh.

[Wade Lamare]

When I say ex I mean abusive ex, not ex fiancé.

 

Also meant to say best not kept secret in a marriage. Mustn't type when angry.

[anna121]

Not really wanting to dive into it there are huge differences in the nature of the intent behind the video. Essentially OP made porn which renders her powerless to do anything legally, unless she was not 18. Definition of porn is making sexually explicit material for the sexual gratification of others simply nothing she can do no matter the jurisdiction. Slight ray of hope would be certain States have very tough distribution laws surrounding porn if in one of those States she could tie him up with legal fees and the such, but actually stopping him..nah.

 

Regarding the intent of the video, maybe. If it was a commercial video, with due assignment of rights.

 

If it was not, the fact that it is porn is irrelevant. That does not give the ex the right to distribute it at will, nor does it give him free reign to use it to destroy her reputation.

 

OP, I think your bigger issue is dealing with your ex, as he has proven himself perfectly happy to terrorize you. I strongly urge you to seek counsel.

[LargoLagg]

Is there a date stamp on the video? Who is to say that you were 18?

 

Also, you need to deal with this now, vigorously, because "dad" might one day show those videos to your child. I'm sure this is unthinkable to you, but you should start thinking about the unthinkable now, before it shows up in your life.

[What-2-Do]

OUCH!!! This is terrible and I'm so sorry you're going thru this.

 

As a guy I would have major issues with this. Seeing this video would change my view of my g/f. Seeing her having sex with several other people at the same time would be impossible to get over.

 

I know people will flame me on here for saying this but it's just how I feel. Most guys want to have a wife they feel is wholesome and a video like this will make it nearly impossible to feel that way. I am sure he feels betrayed in many ways and feels that he's been cheated on. This was clearly a form of sexual abuse and it's a terrible situation.

 

I would certainly do anything and everything you can to press charges against your ex. He will never stop stooping to such a low blow. He sounds like a complete and total monster.

[LargoLagg]

Also, most states have some kind of Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress laws. They're not criminal, but you can own him when you're done, and with that ownership, you can probably buy him and his parental rights right out of your life.

[DKT3]

Regarding the intent of the video, maybe. If it was a commercial video, with due assignment of rights.

 

If it was not, the fact that it is porn is irrelevant. That does not give the ex the right to distribute it at will, nor does it give him free reign to use it to destroy her reputation.

 

OP, I think your bigger issue is dealing with your ex, as he has proven himself perfectly happy to terrorize you. I strongly urge you to seek counsel.

 

Infidelity is a criminal offence in 38/50 States it's a felony in 5. There has been one conviction on the charge it the past 50 years.

 

I have a cousin in the porn industry, on the distribution side, I asked him about situations like this, his response was 70% of the amateur porn they distribute has at least one person involved who never intended to have the video distributed. He said as long as the person had knowledge that they were being recorded it's near impossible to effectively take any legal action..

 

No one will disagree it's vile, illegal in some places, but really not much can be done.

[Wade Lamare]

Gibrale, has he ever made threats to show the video again to anyone you hook up with?

 

Or any kind of threat regarding the video unless you stay single etc.?

 

Might be an idea to carry a voice activated recorder when you next have to speak to him, or try and find a way to record any convo on the phone.

 

I'm not a lawyer, I don't even pretend to be one on the internet, but if someone is threatening to do 'something' unless you do what they want isn't that a kind of blackmail?

[thickburger]

Gibrale, has he ever made threats to show the video again to anyone you hook up with?

 

Or any kind of threat regarding the video unless you stay single etc.?

 

Might be an idea to carry a voice activated recorder when you next have to speak to him, or try and find a way to record any convo on the phone.

 

I'm not a lawyer, I don't even pretend to be one on the internet, but if someone is threatening to do 'something' unless you do what they want isn't that a kind of blackmail?

 

 

 

Believe it or not, it is illegal to do this in some states without the other party's permission. It's a 3rd degree Felony in my state. I wanted to do the same thing with a slumlord in FL, was advised against it.

 

Sure you can whip out a camera and start recording, but then the other party is aware and can chose to stay or go. If you secretly do it without their permission you can get in some trouble and your findings will not be admissible in court.

[BluesPower]

Not actually correct, it is legal in almost all states for you to record a conversation that you are involved in, permission or no.

 

It is illegal in most states to record a conversation that you are not involved in.

 

So, in her case, when she is talking to him and she records it, that is fine.

[Wade Lamare]

Believe it or not, it is illegal to do this in some states without the other party's permission. It's a 3rd degree Felony in my state. I wanted to do the same thing with a slumlord in FL, was advised against it.

 

Sure you can whip out a camera and start recording, but then the other party is aware and can chose to stay or go. If you secretly do it without their permission you can get in some trouble and your findings will not be admissible in court.

 

Yes, it pays to be careful.

 

But I think there is a world of difference between someone nefariously recording someone for criminal purposes and a young single woman protecting herself from an already proven abusive person.

 

Of course the law doesn't always differentiate like that so it would be worthwhile gaining some advice.

 

Perhaps one of the groups that help to protect single women from abusive exes may be able to help?

 

Also, as you say it's not every state, some afaik, say that providing one party is privy to the recording it's ok. And of course that one person is you!

[thickburger]

Not actually correct, it is legal in almost all states for you to record a conversation that you are involved in, permission or no.

 

It is illegal in most states to record a conversation that you are not involved in.

 

So, in her case, when she is talking to him and she records it, that is fine.

 

Not accurate in my state....

 

 

Under Florida law, in most circumstances all parties to the call must consent to the recording of the call in order to make it legal to record the call. This type of restrictive law is sometimes referred to as a “two-party consent” law but in in reality, Florida has an “all-party consent” law in place. Chapter 934 of the Florida Statutes governs the Security of Communications and Surveillance Operations within the State of Florida. Florida Statute § 934.03 is the State of Florida’s primary wiretapping law, which governs the interception and disclosure of wire, oral, or electronic communications. Florida Statute § 934.03(1) lists what acts are illegal, including but not limited to the use of any electronic device to intercept an oral communication or phone call. If you violate the statute, you are committing a crime. Pursuant to Florida Statute § 934.03(4), the crime could be a third degree felony, which is usually punishable by up to five years in state prison. In addition to the criminal penalties for illegally recording a call, you may also be liable for civil fines and penalties pursuant to Florida Statute § 934.10.

 

So how can you avoid committing a crime if you want to record a call in Florida? Within Florida Statute § 934.03, there are many exceptions to the prohibition of recording or “intercepting” calls. Most of the exceptions are contained within Florida Statute § 934.03(2). Of particular importance to our clients and the readers of this blog will be Florida Statute § 934.03(2)(d) which provides as follows: “t is lawful under this section and ss. 934.04 – 934.09 for a person to intercept a wire, oral, or electronic communication when all parties to the communication have given prior consent to such interception.”

 

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