Am I playing too hard to get?

[katiegrl]

He just texted me saying he still would like to see me, we might just have to do something else. Ugh, I'm so tired of having to wait for his response that come hours late!

 

Yeah, he likes making you wait ....he knows it keeps you "on edge."

 

Then when you finally hear from him, your adrenaline increases causing you to feel that "high."

 

It happens too often for this to be merely "oh I was busy."

 

He knows what he is doing, and if it were me, I wouldn't like it one bit.

 

I mean he waited what, three hours to get back to you? What a roller coaster....

 

I'm not gonna tell you what I would do, cause I don't want to ruin your moment.

 

Hope you have fun though.....

Edited September 12, 2015 by katiegrl

[jam.over.jelly]

I mean he's not the only one that has this habbit of texting. Maybe that's why I'm not even surprised anymore, just annoyed. But usually when he takes forever to reply, he always says he's sorry for not responding timely, and that he was driving, or having to finish his paperwork, etc. Or sometimes he would let me know ahead of time that he would be doing something so he might not respond right away.

 

My ex was the same way. Sometimes i would take him 5 hours to respond, sometimes we were texting back and forth and he just stopped replying completely. I learned to realize that there were so many reasons explaining his horrible texting habbit. But with my ex I always knew that he was just not good with his phone (cuz I lived with the guy, I knew how he never had his phone with him), with this new guy, I don't have that transparency so it is driving me crazy!

[katiegrl]

It q

I mean he's not the only one that has this habbit of texting. Maybe that's why I'm not even surprised anymore, just annoyed. But usually when he takes forever to reply, he always says he's sorry for not responding timely, and that he was driving, or having to finish his paperwork, etc. Or sometimes he would let me know ahead of time that he would be doing something so he might not respond right away.

 

My ex was the same way. Sometimes i would take him 5 hours to respond, sometimes we were texting back and forth and he just stopped replying completely. I learned to realize that there were so many reasons explaining his horrible texting habbit. But with my ex I always knew that he was just not good with his phone (cuz I lived with the guy, I knew how he never had his phone with him), with this new guy, I don't have that transparency so it is driving me crazy!

 

Sweetie, this is not about the texting and how long it takes him to text back.

 

I am talking about basic consideration and common courtesy ...you asked him if he still wants to get together today, and he waited THREE hours to respond.

 

I mean, what was his purpose in waiting three hours? He had his phone with him, he had *just* texted you asking about the rodeo, and was waiting for your response. So why wait? Again, for what purpose?

 

Anyway imo that is just rude and inconsiderate....and to me not indicative of a man who is that excited about you. A man who was really interested and not playing some waiting game would have replied immediately with "sure, of course!". You know this, right?

 

Your gut was telling you something was off too ... and felt bad and sad about ..... but then he finally got back to you ... and you're back to being excited about him again.

 

It's a freaking roller coaster, and it's not because he is bad at texting.

 

He is inconsiderate of your time, your feelings. Plays this waiting game, keeping you anxious and on edge. He's not stupid, he knows what he's doing, no matter how many excuses he comes up with.

 

I would not tolerate it, no matter how attracted I was.

 

These are red flags to me, and after only three dates, a dealbreaker ....for me.

 

But you're not me, so carry on ...and have fun!

 

I mean that! :bunny:

Edited September 12, 2015 by katiegrl

[jam.over.jelly]

So he picked me up and we ended up going bowling last night. Was a lot of fun, lots of kissing and making out (FINALLY!). We had our first serious conversation, lol, cuz we never talked about anything serious, all jokes and laughs up til this point. Talked about our past relationships and why it didn't work, about how I'm more of a planner and my weekends are most of the time planned ahead, and how he's not a planner at all. But he said he could definitely plan ahead for me, and would definitely "book me in advance". I was happy to hear that. He said he liked me and would like to continue seeing me. He also apologized for that one time he had to fix his truck and cancelled on me, as I told him my time is valuable. I don't think he is a player, but I could be wrong. He just seems genuine, and if he were a player, I figure he would be smoother and he would have more games. But to me he just seems like he is a bit shy (in a really cute way). He took me home and I was a bit drunk, I insisted him staying over cuz I felt bad he had to drive back (he lives 40 min from me). So we just cuddled and passed out. Haven't had sex yet.

[katiegrl]

So he picked me up and we ended up going bowling last night. Was a lot of fun, lots of kissing and making out (FINALLY!). We had our first serious conversation, lol, cuz we never talked about anything serious, all jokes and laughs up til this point. Talked about our past relationships and why it didn't work, about how I'm more of a planner and my weekends are most of the time planned ahead, and how he's not a planner at all. But he said he could definitely plan ahead for me, and would definitely "book me in advance". I was happy to hear that. He said he liked me and would like to continue seeing me. He also apologized for that one time he had to fix his truck and cancelled on me, as I told him my time is valuable. I don't think he is a player, but I could be wrong. He just seems genuine, and if he were a player, I figure he would be smoother and he would have more games. But to me he just seems like he is a bit shy (in a really cute way). He took me home and I was a bit drunk, I insisted him staying over cuz I felt bad he had to drive back (he lives 40 min from me). So we just cuddled and passed out. Haven't had sex yet.

 

Fabulous!

 

So when are you going to see him again?

 

Did he say, or are you back to *waiting* again? God, I sure hope not....lol

 

Are you still planning to keep date tonight with the other guy you feel butterflies with?

 

JMO .... I think you should.

 

Anyway, glad it worked out.... and good luck going forward.

 

Remember, relax, no over-thinking....okay? :bunny:

[jam.over.jelly]

Yes I'm seeing him tonight. Of course I am going on this date haha I ve been looking forward to it! He just texted me this morning

ABout when I'm gonna see him again, ahhhh good question. We didn't talk about that, hmmmm. Towards the end of the night it was all sort of blurry cuz I was pretty drunk . But I do remember him saying next time we need to light the fireworks (we've been meaning to but keep on forgetting). So I think I will see him again, but we ll see when. LOL! And i promise no more over-thinking . I dont know why but after last night I don't have that uneasy feeling I had about him anymore.

He did text me a bit earlier, told me he had a great time and asked me how I was feeling

[jam.over.jelly]

Whoaaaa I'm in so much trouble!!!! Went out for a drink with the guy I used to hang out with, took a walk around town, I felt butterflies in my stomach the whole entire time I was with him, we just have this effortless connection and he is still oh so handsome!!!!! Ahhhhhhh I'm smitten...all over again!

[jam.over.jelly]

Update about both guys.

Guy A texted me and asked about my availability this week so that he can "book me one of these nights" (After we have talked about how I'm a planner and I would like to plan things at least 2 days in advance, he seems to be accommodating this now, which I am thrilled about).

Guy B (the one I recently went on a date with) also texted me the next day asking me to go out again with him this weekend. Cannot wait to see him again btw.

Score!!!

[Zippy2000]

Problem with multi dating is you might end up liking both men.

 

Give it time and I ll net there will be another thread for which one to choose. Lol

[jam.over.jelly]

Ahhhh, I have thought about that. I'm only doing this to protect myself from getting hurt, but of course, I'm having a lot of fun getting to know both guys. I guess we will cross that bridge if/when we get there.

[jam.over.jelly]

Ugh, just when I am happy where things are going with guy A, last text I sent him was at 8, and it is now 11.30pm, still haven't heard back from him. He has never NOT responded to my texts, just sometimes it takes a couple hours, but still! This is why I hate the whole texting thing. I know he might be busy, or might be on a date with another woman, I know we are not exclusive and he can do what he wants, but I just need to vent. Argh!!!!!

[katiegrl]

Ugh, just when I am happy where things are going with guy A, last text I sent him was at 8, and it is now 11.30pm, still haven't heard back from him. He has never NOT responded to my texts, just sometimes it takes a couple hours, but still! This is why I hate the whole texting thing. I know he might be busy, or might be on a date with another woman, I know we are not exclusive and he can do what he wants, but I just need to vent. Argh!!!!!

 

jams, go back and re-read my post 101.

 

This doesn't surprise me one bit.....

 

Although, he could be out on a date like you said...or out with friends, and will get back to you tomorrow. Since you're not exclusive ...and you have another love interest as well.

 

What did your text say? Did it warrant a response? Not all texts do...

 

Trying to give him the benefit of the doubt here...

[jam.over.jelly]

So we have been texting through out the day today, and everyday since we started talking for that matter, I sent him a picture of the dental floss I bought, and told him that he had convinced me to start flossing, we joked for a bit then his last text was him asking "do u want to be my partner in floss, like instead of crime", so I texted him back with a joke saying I vow to never go a day without flossing from now on and that i would seal it with a kiss but he wasn't with me so I'd give it to him when I saw him next. Speaking of the devil he just texted me and told me he fell asleep for a couple hours there. Hmmmm. But I'm going to sleep soon and he will just have to wait to hear from me tomorrow.

[kilgore]

So we have been texting through out the day today, and everyday since we started talking for that matter, I sent him a picture of the dental floss I bought, and told him that he had convinced me to start flossing, we joked for a bit then his last text was him asking "do u want to be my partner in floss, like instead of crime", so I texted him back with a joke saying I vow to never go a day without flossing from now on and that i would seal it with a kiss but he wasn't with me so I'd give it to him when I saw him next. Speaking of the devil he just texted me and told me he fell asleep for a couple hours there. Hmmmm. But I'm going to sleep soon and he will just have to wait to hear from me tomorrow.

 

That's good right?

[jam.over.jelly]

Haha Kilgore yes yes it is. Always good to hear from him, it's like a relief.

[kilgore]

Haha Kilgore yes yes it is. Always good to hear from him, it's like a relief.

 

But don't drive yourself nuts either

[jam.over.jelly]

Hehe I will try my best I promise!!!

[kilgore]

Hehe I will try my best I promise!!!

 

How long has it been?

[jam.over.jelly]

Mmm not sure what you are referring to.. How long since I started talking to him?

[jam.over.jelly]

I need some advice here, nothing crazy but still, I figure I'd ask. It's about guy A. So Thursday I was gonna make sushi, I thought about how much he loved sushi, so I texted and asked him Wednesday night if he wanted to come over Thursday and make sushi with me. He said he had to do something for his dad around 630, but would see if he could push it earlier and get done early, he said he'd let me know in the AM, which he did, but unfortunately he couldn't come over. No biggie. He then suggested Friday instead. I told him I had plans to come see my friend (who he already met) for dinner (who happens to live 15 minutes from where guy A lives). He said when I was done with my friend, let him know if I wanted to hang out. I said OK I would let him know. As much as I wanted to see him Friday, I'm not sure I should, he already knows I like him, I just don't want to appear too eager because I will be seeing him again the next day for our 5th date, which was planned earlier this week.

 

So should I be spontaneous and meet him for a couple drinks after dinner with my friend (my friend will be joining too)? Or would it be seeing him too much too soon?

[jam.over.jelly]

Wow I cannot believe this just happened. So it is OVER with guy A. So last night I was in his area so as he suggested, I hit him up after I had dinner with my friend, he was finishing up at his friend's place, he texted "We're finishing up, even if we're not done soon, I'm still leaving". I texted "OK come out and have a drink whenever you're done". He never texted back. Today we were supposed to go to the rodeo, I texted him earlier "Are we still on tonight" and this is what he said "Hey I had a rough night lot of **** happened I just wanna lay low. I know you're gonna be pissed and I'm really sorry I didn't mean to screw up your night". I replied "It's all good. Thanks for letting me know. I'm not one for playing stupid mind games. If for some reason you no longer want to see me it is all good I would much rather you tell me than slowly fade out. I'm an adult, I can handle it". And haven't gotten a response back. It is over. But he left me in shock.

[menyou]

Wow I cannot believe this just happened. So it is OVER with guy A. So last night I was in his area so as he suggested, I hit him up after I had dinner with my friend, he was finishing up at his friend's place, he texted "We're finishing up, even if we're not done soon, I'm still leaving". I texted "OK come out and have a drink whenever you're done". He never texted back. Today we were supposed to go to the rodeo, I texted him earlier "Are we still on tonight" and this is what he said "Hey I had a rough night lot of **** happened I just wanna lay low. I know you're gonna be pissed and I'm really sorry I didn't mean to screw up your night". I replied "It's all good. Thanks for letting me know. I'm not one for playing stupid mind games. If for some reason you no longer want to see me it is all good I would much rather you tell me than slowly fade out. I'm an adult, I can handle it". And haven't gotten a response back. It is over. But he left me in shock.

 

even though this was a d#@k move on his part, I would have ended your text at "thanks for letting me know". People do a lot of things that you personally would not do to someone else. Best to just accept and move on than dwell and make yourself crazy over it.

[jam.over.jelly]

But I can't explain his behavior. Everything was fine, he even told me he would get his bike back this weekend and that we could take it out for a ride, that was Thursday night. Today is Saturday. Whats changed?

[menyou]

It really may have been that he had a crazy night? I have a feeling that you might never find out now after the text though. Dating is really difficult because you really never know how someone truly feels even when they actually 'tell" you. Put yourself first in this. Your health, and mental stability. Others actions can really make you loco if you let them. I say this countless times but, Zero Expectations. Seriously.

[katiegrl]

But I can't explain his behavior. Everything was fine, he even told me he would get his bike back this weekend and that we could take it out for a ride, that was Thursday night. Today is Saturday.

 

 

**Whats changed***?

 

My best guess would be he met someone else, or was dating someone else while dating you, probably met up with her at some point last night and he banged her all night. THAT was his *rough* night.

 

I agree with previous poster. "Thanks for letting me know" is all you should have said.

 

He probably rolled his eyes at the rest of it... sounds a bit needy and frankly presumptuous.

 

Next time this happens, please leave that out.

 

I am not surprised this happened, and I am sure you know why I feel that way.

 

I am sorry though, but at least you have guy B, right?

 

How are things going with him?