Author jam.over.jelly Posted September 3, 2015 Author Share Posted September 3, 2015 I'm curious why you decided to get together on Sunday, as opposed to Friday or Saturday? Sunday just seems so blah for a third date. Did he request to see you on Saturday? It is positive that he asked you out in advance, though. (I guess he finally got the hint that you are a busy girl!) I wouldn't read too much into the endless texting. It takes no effort and may just be a welcome distraction for a guy who is sitting at home bored. If he continues to ask you out, then you will really know he is interested. He asked me if Saturday or Sunday I would be free. I work til 4pm Saturday, and we're going surfing so Sunday would be best (I'm free the whole day). I did ask me out once on Friday, but I wasn't free. And you're right, I don't read much into texting endlessly, but it is just nice talking to him is all. SO far he has always been asking me out. He texted me a picture of him with two big catfish and said he would take me fishing sometime. I dont know if that's a good sign that he hinted at future plans, I dont want to read too much into it and get my hopes up though 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kilgore Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 He asked me if Saturday or Sunday I would be free. I work til 4pm Saturday, and we're going surfing so Sunday would be best (I'm free the whole day). I did ask me out once on Friday, but I wasn't free. And you're right, I don't read much into texting endlessly, but it is just nice talking to him is all. SO far he has always been asking me out. He texted me a picture of him with two big catfish and said he would take me fishing sometime. I dont know if that's a good sign that he hinted at future plans, I dont want to read too much into it and get my hopes up though An all day outing is promising 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jam.over.jelly Posted September 3, 2015 Author Share Posted September 3, 2015 WHAT DOES HE MEAN BY THIS TEXT? So yesterday while we were texting, he sent me a pic of his dinner (sushi). And I told him I haven't had sushi since the first time we went out. And he said I was due for some. I playfully texted him back saying I counted on him to make that happen. He said "As you should". And then he said "That's about all I'm good for ". I texted back "You're good for taking me out for a bike ride too". He said "And now not even the bike since it's getting fixed :'(". And I said "well...you make me laugh...so that's good for something!!!" Why would he said "that's about all I'm good for"? Like does he think I'm not genuinely interested in getting to know him or something? I'm def crazy to be analyzing every bit of his texts like this. Shoot me! Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 I am taking it to mean that he takes some of what has gone on before between you two as hot/cold OR as guys sometimes tend to think that you just want him for free dinners. He was giving you an opening to say something to the effect of: no I really like you, just you not the activities, entertainment or dinner you provide. He was fishing for that sort of comeback, I think. I think you did ok-good under the circumstances. Sounds like he likes you and is unsure what your thoughts are about him but did not want to come out directly and ask but rather used that moment in the text conversation to try to get you to say it. Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 So I have a question. Do guys ever get discouraged when a girl rarely ever initiate any contact? . - Some do, it depends how sophisticated they are. However, I'd advise you not to.... why should you risk rejection when most guys will ask for the dates anyway? Welcome to the cat-and-mouse game. Hey, I just tell it like it is, mang! He texted me a picture of him with two big catfish and said he would take me fishing sometime. I dont know if that's a good sign that he hinted at future plans, I dont want to read too much into it and get my hopes up though - Talking about future dates is a high sign of intrest. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jam.over.jelly Posted September 3, 2015 Author Share Posted September 3, 2015 However, I'd advise you not to.... as in to text first? or to ask him to hang out first (cuz I'm positive i will never ask a guy to hang, I only accept the dates if I like him) Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 as in to text first? or to ask him to hang out first (cuz I'm positive i will never ask a guy to hang, I only accept the dates if I like him) - Don't ask out on dates in the beginning, let him do it. I suppose you could initiate texts..... but mirror him, don't do it more often than he does. Honestly, I would primarily wait for him to ask you out on dates in the beginning. When you guys are a couple you can ease up on the playing hard to get. "That's about all I'm good for " - you are overthinking this statement he made - it's just self-deprecating humor. If he's asking you out on dates and talking about the future, he's into you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 - Don't ask out on dates in the beginning, let him do it. I suppose you could initiate texts..... but mirror him, don't do it more often than he does. Honestly, I would primarily wait for him to ask you out on dates in the beginning. When you guys are a couple you can ease up on the playing hard to get. "That's about all I'm good for " - you are overthinking this statement he made - it's just self-deprecating humor. If he's asking you out on dates and talking about the future, he's into you. Yes I could agree with what Gary said about your guy's comment. Depends on his tone. If it was lighthearted and sweet, he could have meant this. Though there is the chance he meant the other way I posted about. I like Gary's answer because it assumes the positive. And if he keeps asking you out, that is what you should concentrate on. Maybe as the earlier part of your thread indicated a little more reassurance and initiating on your end will help (it sounds like you are doing it now). I don't know I'm starting to get a good feeling about this one. Hope it works out. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 "That's about all I'm good for " - you are overthinking this statement he made - it's just self-deprecating humor. 100% agree with Gary here. It was a joke. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
edgygirl Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 (edited) I am also a Perceiver (ENFP) in Myers Briggs, so it's the same for me. My close friends know it's better to check out with me in the actual day to see if I'm still up for the plans, or better, not to make plans too far ahead. For people who are J types tough (Judging according to Briggs Meyers) they usually see it as outrageous not to have definite plans ahead for everything, or as disrespectful to change your mind about plans. Thank you for posting this -- most people don't understand Myers Briggs and think everyone should behave as they do, otherwise they put their motives into question. You could view it that way (low interest), because he doesn't make plans well in advance, but believe it or not, there is a large fraction of the population that are effectively averse to making plans (i.e. the Perceiving Myers Briggs personality type), and consequently, even the night before is likely making plans well in advance for those individuals. For me, personally, while I usually lock the day down for an early date a few days in advance, I usually don't have anything figured out until an our or two before we meet. I'm the kind of guy that will take a 6 week road trip, with the only plan being to be at the end point on more or less a target date - no hotels, routes, or anything else figured out...you can't seriously say that someone that has that type of personality is going to make plans way in advance. The point, 12-24 hours is planning in advance for a non-trivial fraction of the population - it's pretty naive to assume that there is no way that they could be that interested. Whether or not you like the type of person that doesn't plan is another question, but instantly assuming that they are not interested because their idea of planning is different than yours is a bit silly... Edited September 4, 2015 by edgygirl Link to post Share on other sites
Author jam.over.jelly Posted September 4, 2015 Author Share Posted September 4, 2015 I don't know I'm starting to get a good feeling about this one. Hope it works out. Aww, that makes me hopeful. I didn't hear at all from him on Tuesday, so yesterday I texted him first, and today I didn't text him to see if he was gonna contact me first, and he did! So I guess he WAS indeed waiting for me to text him first once in a while. And he said something along the line of the fact that he is a nice guy, and I should get to know him better <3. I told him I really dig his sense of humor, and he told me it was hard to find a girl that understands it, and he's glad that I do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Vintage79 Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 In contrast, my vast majority of friends without a firm respond indicates a LOW interest to an event. They are being mean to 1, wait until something more interested to him/her to come up and, 2, ditch the others with less guilt because they simply never give a firm answer. To me, the answer is simple: yes or no. Giving a "no" doesn't need an explanation, too. I will tell the others to "count me out" if I am uncertain. You totally missed the point and people tend to surround themselves with like individuals, so your buddies are likely a highly biased population. I'm not saying that the guy has high interest, simply that you can't be sure - citing an example with a highly biased population does nothing aside from tell people not to listen to your commentar unless they run in your circle... Link to post Share on other sites
Author jam.over.jelly Posted September 5, 2015 Author Share Posted September 5, 2015 So just a little update, everything has been good, he even texted me and tell me to be ready for adventure Sunday. Up until yesterday I was still nervous whether he's gonna say he needs to take a rain check again, but this is definitely good news. I'm so excited!!!! :D:D 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kilgore Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 So just a little update, everything has been good, he even texted me and tell me to be ready for adventure Sunday. Up until yesterday I was still nervous whether he's gonna say he needs to take a rain check again, but this is definitely good news. I'm so excited!!!! :D:D I figured that would happen. Yay 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jam.over.jelly Posted September 6, 2015 Author Share Posted September 6, 2015 (edited) I'm so excited for this date!!! Ahhhhhhh! WIll keep you posted after tomorrow Edited September 6, 2015 by jam.over.jelly Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 I'm so excited for this date!!! Ahhhhhhh! WIll keep you posted after tomorrow Didn't you just post that you were nervous because you haven't heard from him? So I assume he just contacted you and you edited your post? Or am I losing my mind? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jam.over.jelly Posted September 6, 2015 Author Share Posted September 6, 2015 Haha katie I'm so sorry, I did edit it! He texted me like literally after i posted it. He said he'd pick me up at 11 tmrw. He just sent me a picture of him still working on his truck. lol. I was just being too damn paranoid Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 That's his fault. If he is really interested he'll be back. You should not be at his beck and call. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jam.over.jelly Posted September 7, 2015 Author Share Posted September 7, 2015 SOooooo........Update about my date today. He actually took me cliff jumping!!!! (we talked about this and I have always wanted to try it). I was nervous but determined to jump. We held hands and jumped together, after he calmed my nerve down. LOL! He was such a gentleman the whole entire time, making sure I was safe and led the way. I could not have asked for a better date. We shared some kisses. We spent the whole day together, and ended it with a nice dinner. I had so much fun and cannot wait to see him again. Wooooo!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 That's a great date on top of the fact that you had fun! Anytime you have a date where adrenalin gets pumping (ie like cliff jumping), the people attribute that good heart racing feeling to their date. It's a scientifically proven fact that has positive results benefiting the relationship. Glad this is where you went and that it went well. Keep us posted. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jam.over.jelly Posted September 7, 2015 Author Share Posted September 7, 2015 Thank you Versacehottie, and we re already talking about going to a rodeo show for our next date. Hoping it will be next week. But we ll see when he ll suggest hanging out again, I'm leaving it to him to ask me, lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 Thank you Versacehottie, and we re already talking about going to a rodeo show for our next date. Hoping it will be next week. But we ll see when he ll suggest hanging out again, I'm leaving it to him to ask me, lol I like his creativity. Very fun!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author jam.over.jelly Posted September 7, 2015 Author Share Posted September 7, 2015 I like his creativity. Very fun!! Haha thanks, but I actually suggested to go to the rodeo. It was gonna be a surprised for him but the whole ride he kept asking my questions about clues, and then eventually he figured it out, haha 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jam.over.jelly Posted September 9, 2015 Author Share Posted September 9, 2015 So here we go again with the whole not asking me out wayyy ahead of time kinda thing. It is now Wednesday and as much as he texts me every single day, he hasn't asked me out again. Our last date was Sunday as you all know. On the ride home, we did talk about going to the rodeo show, and this show is on Saturdays only, at 730pm. So I told him "So just pick a Saturday when you're free then we'll go. And it's at 730". I was hoping that he'd ask me how about this coming Saturday. Instead he just said "Awesome, I promise I will be on time". So what the heck. When am I gonna see him again?! LOL! Every single week though I would wait for him to ask me out. I have plans with friends and seeing other guys during the week but weekend I always find myself reserving at least one day in case he does ask me to hang out. Ugh! Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 So here we go again with the whole not asking me out wayyy ahead of time kinda thing. It is now Wednesday and as much as he texts me every single day, he hasn't asked me out again. Our last date was Sunday as you all know. On the ride home, we did talk about going to the rodeo show, and this show is on Saturdays only, at 730pm. So I told him "So just pick a Saturday when you're free then we'll go. And it's at 730". I was hoping that he'd ask me how about this coming Saturday. Instead he just said "Awesome, I promise I will be on time". So what the heck. When am I gonna see him again?! LOL! Every single week though I would wait for him to ask me out. I have plans with friends and seeing other guys during the week but weekend I always find myself reserving at least one day in case he does ask me to hang out. Ugh! Well you know what I would say: don't do that!!! What I bolded above. Best way to teach him that he has to be a better planner is to be real busy, not fake busy and playing games with texts and phone calls back. Reserving a day for him equates to over investing and you may end up disappointed or in something unbalanced. About the Rodeo you should have just asked him out for a specific saturday since it was your suggestion that's how I would view it. But now that you are showing us how it was worded, the ball is really in his court. IMO, if you try to ask him for this Saturday to the rodeo is will looking like you are chasing him since you told him to "pick a Saturday" and he hasn't done so (yet). I agree it's nice to know plans in advance but he just might not be that guy. If you DO make plans in advance and he hasn't asked by the time you would be agreeing to other plans, you just have to move forward with your other options. Better to do that and if he asks you later this week you can nicely tell him you have plans and what they are. Rather than save a day for him and constantly be disappoint and jump when he's ready to get around to it. You will be creating a bad relationship pattern if you do that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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