SycamoreCircle Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 I speak with the authority of someone who knows they're most usually wrong. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Toodaloo Posted July 23, 2015 Author Share Posted July 23, 2015 I speak with the authority of someone who knows they're most usually wrong. Have you been smoking pot again? Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 I think you should give it a try... Straight-laced men, not pot. I realize, of course, this rules me out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Toodaloo Posted July 23, 2015 Author Share Posted July 23, 2015 I think you should give it a try... Straight-laced men, not pot. I realize, of course, this rules me out. Erm no. Did that and would rather slit my wrists than go back to that. Never. Again. Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 The only one who could ever reach me Was the son of a preacher man The only boy who could ever teach me Was the son of a preacher man Yes he was, he was Ooh, yes he was Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Look at the bright side Toodles - when ppl get upset, it means they're invested in you. If they're invested in you, it means you're generally awesome. btw on the bitchy texts, you're kind of a badass, aren't you? Why are you holding back on that guy ....I'd just blow him up so bad he's scared to turn on his phone. Problem solved. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Toodaloo Posted July 23, 2015 Author Share Posted July 23, 2015 If your rolling out Dusty you must be stoned... tsk... Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Can you leave your phone in your bag at work? If you bosses are actually noticing enough of a distraction in your workday to take your phone off you, trust me that isn't gonna look good now or down the line, however buddy buddy you are with them. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 I'll prove my point. Do you see with what promptness you respond to my jocular suggestions? And how do you reply? With a stern conservatism. So unlike you, my dear. Yet, with what force does our banter continue! Now, apply those same dynamics to someone like this: This guy is perfect for you. Although, you need slightly older. Perhaps Bill Paxton. Does he do it for you? Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 I'll prove my point. Do you see with what promptness you respond to my jocular suggestions? And how do you reply? With a stern conservatism. So unlike you, my dear. Yet, with what force does our banter continue! Now, apply those same dynamics to someone like this: This guy is perfect for you. Although, you need slightly older. Perhaps Bill Paxton. Does he do it for you? I don't see it at all. Why would that guy be a good match for her? Nothing in her posts gives me the impression that would work out well. Too needs someone with a sense of humor, I think. Or at least a personality. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 I'll prove my point. Do you see with what promptness you respond to my jocular suggestions? And how do you reply? With a stern conservatism. So unlike you, my dear. Yet, with what force does our banter continue! Now, apply those same dynamics to someone like this: This guy is perfect for you. Although, you need slightly older. Perhaps Bill Paxton. Does he do it for you? How patronising. Get off the `Charlie` 3 Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 I don't see it at all. Why would that guy be a good match for her? Nothing in her posts gives me the impression that would work out well. Too needs someone with a sense of humor, I think. Or at least a personality.Who doesn't need someone with a sense of humor or a personality? Yet someone is going to be with that guy, eventually. Might it just be possible that things haven't worked out for Tood because she's been subject to the obvious? Yin and Yang, people, not Yin and Yin or Yang and Yang. Here's Yang Yang: Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 The grumpies make me laugh! There has been so many! Before a date, after a date, after a first message and you politely decline and they mail you another 12 times.... I always give guys nick names too - there was Blue guy, Music guy, Punk guy....doesn't mean anything aside from a nickname that another person will remember things about rather than calling him Mr A, B or C where they would need to ask which one I mean. Toods you are not getting through men like water...gawd! Have some fun! And you have no need to defend yourself at all. I am a bit jealous..do I get back on OLD??!! Lol! Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 (edited) Who doesn't need someone with a sense of humor or a personality? Yet someone is going to be with that guy, eventually. Might it just be possible that things haven't worked out for Tood because she's been subject to the obvious? Yin and Yang, people, not Yin and Yin or Yang and Yang. Here's Yang Yang: I think this is a false dichotomy. There's a spectrum of personalities out there, not just yin and yang...it's too much of a well-worn trope to go with the old "lively lady needs staid dude". I'm guessing she hasn't only dated one kind of guy, for that matter. Why are we assuming she is? Even the ones she listed upthread sounded pretty different one from the other. Edited July 23, 2015 by serial muse 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 If things are well-worn, it's cuz they're comfortable, fit, and make the person feel good. Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Sycamore's not far off. It seems rather condescending but I get it. I did it to girls to when I was younger. If you use nick names, as a guy, you can avoid getting attached as easily because in the end, rejection will make you bitter. Those guys are bitter because they liked you Toodaloo, it's simple. They should be adults about it, but just like you, they're not perfect. Try to have a little understanding from their side and you'll feel less bad about the bitterness your receive. Still not fair for you to take it, but if you understand why, then maybe it won't be so bad for you. Finally, I understand why Gaeta has so much dating trouble. The minute a guy feels like he's your tool, he'll run for the hills. Orr....or...bear with me now... Maybe she uses nicknames on a forum because it is anonymous and she doesn't want ot use their REAL NAMES... See what logic I used there? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 I think this is a false dichotomy. There's a spectrum of personalities out there, not just yin and yang...it's too much of a well-worn trope to go with the old "lively lady needs staid dude". I'm guessing she hasn't only dated one kind of guy, for that matter. Why are we assuming she is? Even the ones she listed upthread sounded pretty different one from the other. Whether Tood needs to find Yin, Yang, Yeng, Yong or even Yung, what she definitely doesn't need is some bitter guy who doesn't even know her yet, doling out snide and nasty remarks. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Of course, I'm having a hard time taking bitterness advice from someone whose screen name is "VengeanceGuidesMe." But at least YOU'RE honest about it 2 Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 If things are well-worn, it's cuz they're comfortable, fit, and make the person feel good. Or they have great giant gaping holes in them. Bandying words isn't helpful to the OP. Neither is pigeonholing. I don't see any evidence that she's been limiting herself to one type of person, or eliminating others, so why should we - perfect strangers on the internet - think it's a good idea for her? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Of course, I'm having a hard time taking bitterness advice from someone whose screen name is "VengeanceGuidesMe." But at least YOU'RE honest about it So now I'm confused, do monikers say something or not say something about a person? Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Took a look at the title, then perused the starting post. Evidently this thread starter is taking actions and comments from particular men and characterizing them as bitter and is 'Waiting for next one to get bitter and nasty'. I'm unclear if this is a rant or they're actually soliciting advice regarding these interactions. Regardless, let's stay focused on bitter behavior in men and, specifically, the men the thread starter is dating or interacting with. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 So now I'm confused, do monikers say something or not say something about a person? That was meant to be a joke. Sorry it didn't come across that way. Obviously it isn't autumn and it isn't nighttime Link to post Share on other sites
Author Toodaloo Posted July 24, 2015 Author Share Posted July 24, 2015 I am a bit jealous..do I get back on OLD??!! Lol! Oh the irony! I was wanting a break so logged on to get rid of it. These guys came through. Spent a couple of days chatting then logged off! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Toodaloo Posted July 24, 2015 Author Share Posted July 24, 2015 (edited) Took a look at the title, then perused the starting post. Evidently this thread starter is taking actions and comments from particular men and characterizing them as bitter and is 'Waiting for next one to get bitter and nasty'. I'm unclear if this is a rant or they're actually soliciting advice regarding these interactions. Regardless, let's stay focused on bitter behavior in men and, specifically, the men the thread starter is dating or interacting with. Thanks! To be honest its half and half. I get a lot of this. I understand that people can feel hurt or rejected. Heck been there myself so many times. But to get bitter and nasty about it. The irony of it all was I really liked this guy but wasn't ready to sleep with him after spending just 2 hours in his company. I explained that to him and told him what he could do to make me feel more comfortable. He then ignored it put on pressure got nasty and blew up my phone... Another guy a couple of weeks ago ignored me for a few days then was very cool towards me when he did finally respond. So I did what any normal adult would do, I licked my wounds, shrugged my shoulders and moved on. A week or so later he is blowing up my phone having a go at me for ignoring him and being a bitch. All I did was ask how he was doing and did he still want to meet the following day (to which I got no response). After 4 blow outs am I really supposed to keep chasing him down? Clearly he wasn't all that interested. So when I finally say lets call it a day I am the recipient of abuse...? Why? Why bother with all of that if either of them really thinks all those things about me that they said then I wouldn't be such a great catch anyway. As I say - I think men also have this problem with women too... so I doubt its confined to just me... Edited July 24, 2015 by Toodaloo Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 The irony of it all was I really liked this guy but wasn't ready to sleep with him after spending just 2 hours in his company. I explained that to him and told him what he could do to make me feel more comfortable. He then ignored it put on pressure got nasty and blew up my phone... Do you think it might serve you in the future to resist establishing a relationship of texting with these men? Keep it strictly business, so to speak? You meet a guy. Exchange numbers. Set up a date. Have the date. Thank each other the next day. Set up another date for the following weekend. Coordinate meeting places. As weeks and dates progress, slowly texting and sexting enter the picture. That's what I would suggest. Maybe I'm off the mark, but I feel like I've been in this guy's shoes. Once I met an OLD at a bar. We had a lot of fun texting up until the date. The date happened and at the end she suggested we go back to my place. I told her that I really liked her and wanted to get to know her. The following week I started to sext her a little and she responded. I got hot and bothered by it and started doing it more. I figured it was OK, since we'd established that "language." All of a sudden, I got a message from her telling me to ease off and that she wasn't just a sex thing. It felt abrupt and unfair. I'm not saying that's what happened in your case, but I do believe that once you get the ball rolling, you can easily find yourself in an awkward place. Link to post Share on other sites
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