LookAtThisPOst Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 Didn't read the whole thread, don't plan to. But if they aren't bitter, at my age bracket they are getting a bit more apathetic or somehow mentally castrated (sorry for that description, lol)..but when say, "mentally castrated" is that they've probably gone beyond bitter and have started focusing on hobbies, home projects, and other activities in their lives as maybe a method of forgetting about women in general. I have a guy friend, 50 years old, when you have a conversation with him about dating prospects by starting off, "Hey, any new ladies in your life?" His answer is quite "Meh" in nature. He's not as "girl crazy" as he used to be and when he DOES have an opportunity to ask a woman out...even if she's showing interest he never really follows-up. Me: Hey, Bill, I saw talking to that woman the other night , you get her number?" Bill: "Meh, yeah." Me: You call her? Bill: "Nah, from the looks of her Facebook pictures, she appears rather busy with her friends and activities." Me: "So the only reason you're not calling her is because she only APPEARS to be busy to you? Or are you just making an excuse?" Of course, he just making excuses, but he'd always find a reason not to call a woman that he gets a # from. Claims to be too busy for home projects that he started a year ago. LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Author Toodaloo Posted August 2, 2015 Author Share Posted August 2, 2015 In Golf men have a joke where you tell your friend not to hit it in the water before he tees it up. It quadruples his chances of hitting it in the water because he is now thinking about it. Ha - this did make make me giggle as I have been sneaky and done the same to my competitors when I was competing! For me, a non competitive person, I was just there to have a giggle so it didn't bother me at all if my horse behaved or not but for others it was the be all and end all! I'm not saying you made them go crazy .... I'm really not (please GOD don't hit me :/). Funny you should say that... A. I am not going to hit you (even though my left hook has got better after I took up boxing to try and get rid of my bat wings)... B. I was chatting to Trainman. Apparently I oooze sex appeal to a frightening degree. I was a bit shocked at this because when I look in the mirror I see my saggy belly, marks on my face where I have been picking... basically every flaw etc. What they see is someone who is smiling, laughing, flirty and gregarious. Apparently I don' look as fat as I am. I have said before that I get "looks" and can turn heads. I know this. But apparently I do it when I am not trying as well. They see a "prize" and they want it. He admitted that he would love to bed me and given half a chance he would make sure I didn't walk for a week. And this is from a guy who just wants to be friends. Apparently as he is getting to know me more its getting worse. I had my first date with Volleyball guy at the weekend (will start another thread about that) but he also said that he knows I don't want to rush but he is like a walking erection and every time he thinks about me he has to go and try and get it down... I didn't notice during our date so I guess he had it under control! He said what I was expecting the others to say... basically "I am keeping our dates in public so I behave myself until you are comfortable"... My guess would be you probably had some really bad luck - maybe 5 or 6 dick heads guys in a row which affected your outlook on all men. So a simple question I want to ask is just ..... when you tell them you don't want to have sex straight away are you expecting a specific reaction from the guy? Has it become so frequent that you are waiting for him to get angry or annoyed? I was expecting them to calm it down and relax and take it easy. I was very open and honest about it. I was careful not to "reject" them and to make it clear that if things carried on going well then I would be happy to sleep with them and that I wanted to keep seeing them. I also made it clear that I was not expecting them to wait months and just a few more dates. It was getting to the point where I was expecting it a bit so I backed down, closed/ hid my on line accounts to give myself space and only continued to speak to the men that I didn't think would do that. In short I do not want a run of a few bad cookies to spoil my view of men. I decided that I was going to take a break and make attempts to break from it while I could and spend time with the better men... and the good men in my life... keep the faith so to speak. Sadly one broke through and showed his true colours... which is what prompted this thread because I was just so upset that he had done that. I am sure he is a really great guy... But I can not live with the fear of someone possibly using guilt/ avoidance/ goading and mental torture tactics to get what they want again. To show that so very soon was an absolute red flag. I guess when you think about it though its better he did that now rather than later. I can not and will not put myself through all of that again. Link to post Share on other sites
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 You remove it by understanding that you are choosing to be bitter. You can also choose to get over it and move on. Nothing is going to spin the earth backwards to your teen years so you can get a do-over. The choice is yours--in fact, change is the easy part. It's the decision to change that is hard because you feel that you get a certain form of validation by being bitter about the way you chose to employ your time and energy. Fix that now so that when you are 62, you're not OLD and bitter because you chose to stick with a bad strategy all your life and your youth is gone. I'm attending a David Wygant boot-camp later this month Link to post Share on other sites
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 pfft....when men get rejected cruelly its their fault. when we are right we are wrong, women can get away with murder if they cry and point fingers enough. ive never dated multiple women in my life. i can barely keep one. same for the majority ive guys ive met. but you folks just keep reading your fortune cookies and watching the lifetime channel, regurgitating silly sayings that have nothing to do with the real world. you live in a fantasy world. girl rejected me...its my fault. girl went out with another guy when we had a date planned...its my fault. girl was cruel to me...its my fault. girl walked out in mid-date...its my fault. girl ignores my texts/calls...its my fault, etc. im wrong, i should punch myself. girl gets rejected once....its like the end of the world. its that rotten mans fault, what a dbag. we hope he dies. society hates men plain and simple. i forgot its all my fault and im not entitled to anyones attention. i feel like somebody is holding me underwater drowning me, while telling me im not entitled to air. and mocking me while i struggle. why do you think there is bitterness? thats why. And probably because men are judeged on their success with the opposite sex more than the other way around Link to post Share on other sites
mrldii Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 It's beginning to look like this is nothing more than a chicken/egg scenario. Is the man bitter because of the way women treat them? Or, do women treat him a certain way because he is bitter? Hmmm... Link to post Share on other sites
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