The downside to being beautiful...

[CrystalCastles]

Why thank you CC! You're a stunner!! ;D

 

D'aww!

 

I'm off to have tea with my gal pal Bridget Jones. We're going to discuss her quitting her awful job b/c of that idiot boss of hers, Daniel Cleaver. Then after lunch (where we compare our mother's ugly sweater needlework), we're going to meet up with Bridget's new boyfriend Mark Darcy because he likes her, just the way she is. (I'm hoping he fixes me up with one of his law coworkers.)

 

Do you know who the most beautiful people are?

 

:laugh::laugh:

 

That is an excellent quote btw! And very true.

 

I can't say I sympathize much with complaints on this thread. The beautiful people I know are ones who are not only physically appealing but are also very kind and giving. They tend to have tons of friends and no shortage of romantic prospects. Some people's posts reek of such drama.

[writergal]

D'aww!

 

 

 

:laugh::laugh:

 

That is an excellent quote btw! And very true.

 

I can't say I sympathize much with complaints on this thread. The beautiful people I know are ones who are not only physically appealing but are also very kind and giving. They tend to have tons of friends and no shortage of romantic prospects. Some people's posts reek of such drama.

 

I love that movie! Yes, I admire Elisabeth Kubler-Ross so much. I felt that quote fit in this thread. I guarantee that an ugly person thread would be a breeding ground for mocking. I'm not mocking the beautiful people so much as pointing out that the definition of 'beautiful' for me goes beyond skin deep.

 

I also understand that beautiful people have feelings too, and can be taken advantage of because of their looks. But really, it's hard for me to take their complaints seriously because it's easy to make themselves less physically attractive than for unattractive people to make themselves attractive. Meh.

[yxalitis]

I started out as a super ugly kid. Really skinny, zits on face and back, croked teeth, still have the big nose. I was awkward and shy too.

 

But i changed most all of that.

 

So... i know what that's like.

But...would you want to go back to being that again?

[yxalitis]

So i'm not one to moan about my hand in life. I've been dealt a pretty good hand and i'm incredibly thankful for it. And as for al the challenges I face i'm thankful for them too because they help me grow and make me the man I am.

 

But that said, one of the most disrespectful things anyone has ever said to me was a 'mate' saying that I don't understand what its like to be him, because everything comes easy to me, all of it jobs, opportunities, people all because of the way I look! ...Total BS!

 

I'm captain of my football team because I stayed on the training pitch long after everyone else had gone home!

I went through the same interview process as everyone else in the fire service, I got the job because I put everything I have into it.

I the best friends in the world, but they are my friends because I'm there when they need me to be, I put myself out to be a good mate.

And sure I have girls approach me, but the one I wanted I stuck it out 5 years waiting for!

And to the outside eye maybe I have the perfect little family now, but I put my heart on the line to get it. I stayed, when i'm pretty sure most lads would of walked.

 

And to tell me everything's been handed me on a plate is completely.. immature, and self centred, and incredibly close minded!

 

Its frustrating, I have to work twice as hard, I have to prove myself time after time, because people think they can take one look at you and judge you!

You wouldn't presume you could judge someone in this day and age on the sexuality, or skin colour... but on decent looks its perfectly okay?

 

Its cliché to say "nerds" have a tough time in school, but genrally (in my experience) I've never seen anyone give them discredit to their face (or actually behind their back) but people have always felt they have some devine right to write me off as a 'dumb jock', cause I was sporty, cause I liked a laugh, cause of the way I looked .....I was a straight A student.

 

Its not a biggy, i'm not over offended, I wouldn't change the guy in the mirror but it is a pet peeve! And when people say "all guys who are half way decent will cheat" oh my god are people honestly that stupid!

 

Its just that these "my life would be easy if I just looked like xyz" comments irritate me! My wife is hands down the most attractive girl ive ever met, people could pass her in the street and think her life must of been blessed, and never stop to realise how much hurt she's had to deal with - or the scars that she'll carry always, always, that don't show. Things that will always affect her, and so will always affect us. I am so so happy in our relationship but we don't live in some happily ever after world, it works because we make it work. I just think some folk look for an easy way out, an exteral factor to blame when their life isn't as they'd planned.

 

If the dude im talking about wanted to make captain of the football team maybe he should of stuck around after training instead of heading of to the cinema each week with his mate - because he was gone and didn't see it, but I was there! He moans he cant get a gf but he rules girls out over the smallest things, if he thinks my gf didn't screw up or drive me crazy over the 5 years I pursued her then he's wrong!

 

I think in general the people that genuinely believe this are those that expect instant gratification for next to no work on there part!! That's not a reality, not for anyone! That's not how it works.

 

I'm not saying there's not perks to looks because their is. fact. but it doesn't make your life easy. From my family I've inherited looks, and I've inherited humour, I didn't earn either, and if I had to lose one it would be looks everytime. The perks of that don't outway the perks of being able to make people like you!!

 

If my kids have something to get them through life, let it be humour!

 

Hmm, to quote Roger Waters:

The Tide is Turning

 

Yes, it can be annoying to assume you got where you are solely because of looks, when in fact you put an effort into it.

But, really, is that what people SAY to you, or what you ASSUME they think?

From what I can read, you're basing this on one comment, one of your mates made, once.

I can't imagine people just dismiss your achievements as being due to your looks, either directly to your face, or thinking it behind your back.

How does being good looking get you a job as a firefighter..are they that keen on calendar sales?

Being good at football is irrelevant, you can't possibly become captain of the football because you look good, so why imply that's what he meant.

Oh, you had girls approach you, but you chose the best looking girl you have ever known, and won her.

Oh boo hoo, cry me a ***king river...

[Haydn]

Problems of being `stunning and loaded`

 

Keeps me up at night.

[Leigh 87]

I totally relate to a lot of these things. I wouldn't say I'm a 10 by any means, but I'm attractive.

 

Sexual harassment #1 for sure. I've had complete strangers just grope my body. Not even in a club/bar situation either, completely random me just walking down the street, or up the stairs. This also extends into verbal street harassment in NYC. I've had men follow me in their cars while I walked home, screaming at me from the car, telling me to stop being a bitch by ignoring them.

 

Guys not taking me seriously. By this I mean, I get TONS of guys who like to be my orbiters. I think they get the impression that I'll be easy to get into bed?? And once they find this out they are gone. Or, the main thing that happens is that guys never talk to me. I go out with friends places and not one guy will ever do a cold approach. I've been told I look "intimidating" or that because I'm attractive these guys are too insecure to talk to me.

 

Other girls/women. This by far is the worst of it. Women are not your friend. You are their competition. I've had so many other women hate me for absolutely no other reason than the fact I was a threat to them in some way. I've had people who I thought were my friends but turned out to just be talking so badly about me behind my back. A grown woman is VERY lucky if she has a handful of true, sincere friends. Most other women will toss other attractive women straight under the bus just to make themselves look better.

 

I was bullied RELENTLESSLY when I was younger, and realized that bullies don't necessarily go away when you're in your 20's either.

 

I can't say that I've ever had something just "handed" to me because I am attractive, nor have things come any easier. I've never gotten a job faster or easier, I've never gotten out of a speeding ticket, I'm not given free things.

 

I think people automatically assume that when someone is attractive, their life is amazing and flawless and struggle free. It's not. Not even a little bit. Maybe there are some people truly blessed but if people were to judge me about my looks alone, and then actually hear my stories, I think they'd be blown away.

 

 

 

The same things have ALL happened to me.

 

The owner of an Indian restaurant asked me out of the blue the other day " so how old were you when you first had sex "

 

Just because I am slim with large assets ( 32 DD) And I wear figure hugging tee shirts rather than hide my shape.

 

And I have also suffered adult bullying.

 

Haven't I ever.

 

Girlfriends of the groups of guys would all have something nasty to say about my looks. Oh Leigh has such an awful nose. Her hair is so damaged. She does have a bit of a stomach protruding, my bf Dale deff prefers my " type "

 

My exes male friends always cracked onto me. Then when I told the truth, the guys who were guilty and their " girlfriends " would attack me and say how fat and ugly I am and that they wouldn't even touch me if they were drunk.

 

The amount of adult bullying I've suffered is atrocious. And sorry it isn't because I'm a nasty or mean person or that I've done something wrong. Is it any surprise that it's mostly fat and ugly people who bully me?????!!!!

Edited July 3, 2015 by Leigh 87

[GildedLily]

If someone truly believes they "suffer" because they are beautiful then they need to go see what real suffering looks like such as children in hospitals sick with cancer, dogs left in shelters to die and soldiers never coming home to their families. Yes, your pain isn't as great as the pain I've mentioned above. Yes it is in fact invalid to say you "suffer". Your condition is only temporary, at least on the outside, your superficiality is forever.

[yxalitis]

The same things have ALL happened to me.

 

The owner of an Indian restaurant asked me out of the blue the other day " so how old were you when you first had sex "

 

Just because I am slim with large assets ( 32 DD) And I wear figure hugging tee shirts rather than hide my shape.

 

And I have also suffered adult bullying.

 

Haven't I ever.

 

Girlfriends of the groups of guys would all have something nasty to say about my looks. Oh Leigh has such an awful nose. Her hair is so damaged. She does have a bit of a stomach protruding, my bf Dale deff prefers my " type "

 

My exes male friends always cracked onto me. Then when I told the truth, the guys who were guilty and their " girlfriends " would attack me and say how fat and ugly I am and that they wouldn't even touch me if they were drunk.

 

The amount of adult bullying I've suffered is atrocious. And sorry it isn't because I'm a nasty or mean person or that I've done something wrong. Is it any surprise that it's mostly fat and ugly people who bully me?????!!!!

If you suffer this much from the unwanted attention you receive, and I do sympathise...why not dress less provocatively?

 

You (or other readers) might respond "Why should she have to?"

 

For

these

reasons.

 

If you dress sexy, yeah, douchebags will comment, if that's fine, and you can shrug it off, great.

If you can't...well, the solution is at hand...

[loveweary11]

If someone truly believes they "suffer" because they are beautiful then they need to go see what real suffering looks like such as children in hospitals sick with cancer, dogs left in shelters to die and soldiers never coming home to their families. Yes, your pain isn't as great as the pain I've mentioned above. Yes it is in fact invalid to say you "suffer". Your condition is only temporary, at least on the outside, your superficiality is forever.

 

Well, so too then would al! people. Ugly people, attractive people, fat people, skinny people, anyone without cancer, etc.

 

Not a very apt comparison.

 

The thread is discussing the often mistaken for easy lives of highly attractive people.

[elaine567]

I believe everyone has it tough in life, everyone.

 

I do however believe good looking people have an advantage over those who have not been blessed with good looks.

 

Good looking people get doors opened for them everywhere in life, due to the fact, looks count for so much in our society and attractiveness is prized.

Good looking people are not usually aware of the struggle those who are deemed ugly, plain or unattractive, have to go through.

 

I reckon it is similar to "white privilege", white people do not know what it is like to be black. They assume being black is the same as being white - they assume that their "luck" and success in life, has nothing to do with their colour - but they do not take on board the fact that many things they take for granted as being the "norm" for them, are not open to those who are black.

 

Beauty privilege.

Good looking people tend to think that their good looks are not relevant, but they do not know what it is like for those who are deemed average, plain or ugly by society.

 

The beautiful, the attractive, the above average in the looks department, tend to believe all their success is due to hard work, diligence, intelligence etc and maybe some of it is, but many do not appreciate what is is like for others whose unattractive, below average, ugly looks, bar them from all sorts of opportunities and benefits in life.

[introverted1]

This must be a geographical thing. Where I am, there are plenty of attractive people but I can't really say I've seen any - male or female - who were so beautiful it interfered with their lives.

 

I've been bullied (including the anorexia thing) by other women, but I've never attributed it to my looks but rather to the insecurities of the people doing the bullying (or making catty remarks).

 

And while no one in my office is hideous looking, and everyone is well-groomed/professional in appearance, there are no 10's in senior positions, either.

[veggirl]

This must be a geographical thing. Where I am, there are plenty of attractive people but I can't really say I've seen any - male or female - who were so beautiful it interfered with their lives.

 

I've been bullied (including the anorexia thing) by other women, but I've never attributed it to my looks but rather to the insecurities of the people doing the bullying (or making catty remarks).

 

And while no one in my office is hideous looking, and everyone is well-groomed/professional in appearance, there are no 10's in senior positions, either.

 

Agreed. I see a lot of attractive people around, have never heard anyone complain about the trials and tribulations of it. Maybe these other folks are surrounded by trolls where they live or something?

 

I have one friend who I truly would describe as exceptionally beautiful. Not hot or gorgeous or pretty but truly, 100% above average BEAUTIFUL. A rare type of beautiful. She gets hit on yes, but also has plenty of friends, has had relationships etc because she is so NICE. I've never heard anyone talk crap about her because of it. If this is happening on the daily...really? Are those women really THAT MUCH uglier than you..are you really THAT MUCH more beautiful than others? Gimme a break! Very few people are!

[loveweary11]

I believe everyone has it tough in life, everyone.

 

I do however believe good looking people have an advantage over those who have not been blessed with good looks.

 

Good looking people get doors opened for them everywhere in life, due to the fact, looks count for so much in our society and attractiveness is prized.

Good looking people are not usually aware of the struggle those who are deemed ugly, plain or unattractive, have to go through.

 

I reckon it is similar to "white privilege", white people do not know what it is like to be black. They assume being black is the same as being white - they assume that their "luck" and success in life, has nothing to do with their colour - but they do not take on board the fact that many things they take for granted as being the "norm" for them, are not open to those who are black.

 

Beauty privilege.

Good looking people tend to think that their good looks are not relevant, but they do not know what it is like for those who are deemed average, plain or ugly by society.

 

The beautiful, the attractive, the above average in the looks department, tend to believe all their success is due to hard work, diligence, intelligence etc and maybe some of it is, but many do not appreciate what is is like for others whose unattractive, below average, ugly looks, bar them from all sorts of opportunities and benefits in life.

 

And this is exactly the focus of the thread. To share that yes, while literally everything you said here is true, there are actually some hidden problems highly attractive peoole have that most people are not aware of.

 

You should have seen the tears....

 

2 of my exes could not even continue to work in offices due to them having these problems with the other women and being sought after bt every single man in the company.

 

Both intelligent people, college educated, etc... yet not a word they said taken seriously. "Aw... that's cute... now go sit over there and look pretty while the grown ups solve the problem."

 

Manager at Bear Sterns used to throw things on the floor and make my ex wife pick them up when she was fresh out of college.

 

Then there are the women. They were much worse. Day after day after day of relentless evil. We all know how evil, petty and backstabbing women are to each other in the office environment. Well, imagine every single day being the target of that.

 

I'm not kidding when I say my exes came home from work in tears on a regular basis. This was all due to their sexual attractiveness.

[elaine567]

Ok, but I guess other women also get told "Aw... that's cute... now go sit over there and look pretty while the grown ups solve the problem." not just pretty ones. That is not necessarily a beauty problem. That sounds like an age problem or even a misogynist one.

 

Many people get bullied, some for being young, naive, unintelligent, fat, thin, too this, too that...etc. I guess many women of all grades of beauty are in tears too over bullying at work, it happens...

People can be mean, they look for something to denigrate a person and use whatever they can as a weapon.

It is not specifically a beauty problem.

[introverted1]

Ok, but I guess other women also get told "Aw... that's cute... now go sit over there and look pretty while the grown ups solve the problem." not just pretty ones. That is not necessarily a beauty problem. That sounds like an age problem or even a misogynist one.

 

Agreed. I don't think I am beautiful but I've experienced much of what's been labeled as "beautiful people problems" in this thread. I think, to some extent, these are female problems, especially those of not being taken seriously at work. And, in general, it is younger women, who perhaps have not found their professional footing, who suffer the most.

 

I am pretty sure that unattractive people in the workplace don't have it easier than attractive ones.

[baco]

Here is a thread I cannot relate to Either way I have a few very attractive people in my social circle, so I can give some input, I'll just reply to the quoted text.

 

I think its unfair that in society we always focus on the benefits of beauty and the negatives of being below average looking. I have some friends, both male and female, who hate being as good looking as they are and I wanted to bring that forth here (no immature comments please, if u dont like this thread, move on.)

 

Downsides:

 

Everyone always stares at you and you cant have a normal anything without many eyes on you (imagine? I would f*ckn hate that)

A beautifull women can turn some heads, sure, so can a great car, a cute puppy or anything really.

 

People assume you are high maintenance or look down on others because youre better looking than them

I don't think so, unless the women in question has a 100€ hair cut, tons of make up and fake bobbies there is no reason to think that, either way unless people are paying for it, it's no one's bussiness.

 

People assume you are out of their "league" wtf is a league?

Maybe they just don't find you atractive enough

 

Romantically people are intimidated or too nervous to apprpach you.

Every man is intimidated to aproach someone he likes, what one likes is subjective, so I don't see a major difference here. You could also approach a man you find interesting.

People think you have life easy because youre beautiful

Not easy, but easier yes.

 

People dont take you seriously because (as above) they think beauty = solution to everything

No, but it is a lot easier to get a tire changed, get out of a traffic ticket or to get drinks for free.

You become a trophy or are sought after to be a trophy

It may happen, but you really don't want to relate with people who don't know the difference between a human being and an object, really don't.

 

Those who DO approach you notice nothing but your looks or are too too focused on them to discover who you really are

Same answer as above

 

People treat you differently for whatever reason

Yep, same thing happens to me when I'm wearing a suit.

 

Life can feel superficial because your looks are the first and last thing people notice about you

The first is true obviously, but this applies to everyone, the last not so much, unless you don't talk to them. People are always surprised if youre single, as if youre not allowed because you can have anyone you want

No you can't, no way, it's easier to find a sexual partner sure, but to find a partner for a LTR is hard for all of us.

[Vercetti]

Hard to see the negitives. Oh no trolls hate and think have it easy. Oh no people assume the opposite sex follows me around like lost puppies. The horror I get treated better when flat broke. NOOOO people trust or want to trust anything say cause how look. Gee sucks all the designers cater to my body type and everything fits looking like an off the rack model. So hard to sort through people that want to sleep with me versus have a relationship. Get so sick of being told look like XYZ actor / famous / rock star / rich person. Hate just hate where ever live people assume I'm from another country, usually one with exotic romanization in their mind. Sucks having all the problems everyone has and being attractive. Such a disadvantage having intelligence underestimated due to looks. So sad having intelligence overestimated due to looks. If only could be average ugly stupid, life would be worry free.

[jen1447]

lol ^ who in this thread said any of that?

[Jonp219]

And this is exactly the focus of the thread. To share that yes, while literally everything you said here is true, there are actually some hidden problems highly attractive peoole have that most people are not aware of.

 

You should have seen the tears....

 

2 of my exes could not even continue to work in offices due to them having these problems with the other women and being sought after bt every single man in the company.

 

Both intelligent people, college educated, etc... yet not a word they said taken seriously. "Aw... that's cute... now go sit over there and look pretty while the grown ups solve the problem."

 

Manager at Bear Sterns used to throw things on the floor and make my ex wife pick them up when she was fresh out of college.

 

Then there are the women. They were much worse. Day after day after day of relentless evil. We all know how evil, petty and backstabbing women are to each other in the office environment. Well, imagine every single day being the target of that.

 

I'm not kidding when I say my exes came home from work in tears on a regular basis. This was all due to their sexual attractiveness.

 

Not to mention attractive women get approached less often than average looking women.A lot of men are intimated by beautiful women, there are some preconceived notions there.

[lil_missy]

I have to say I haven't heard of many of these downsides to being beautiful either...

 

I have close friends that are very beautiful and I have never heard them complain bout any bad treatment or bad luck due to their looks. They have happy relationships and marriages and get good promotions at work and treated with respect. Not saying they have it better than other people, just the same as others.

 

In dating, attractive people definitely have an advantage so I can't believe how people can argue that.

 

Sexual harrasement, sure there are sleaze bags out there. But it's the attitude that you put out, some girls claim to hate being noticed by males all the time but secretly love the attention. If u make it very clear that you will not tolerate a certain type of behaviour you can avoid it or move yourself away from it. Can't believe people can't take any responsibility and blame it all on their unfortunate good looks!

 

Also I will never be intimated by a beautiful woman for fear that she might steal my man, but I will be intimated by a beautiful women who has the personality to match. That would make me feel insecure if she is around my bf. Looks is not everything and it's not even the thing that counts the most.

[RedRobin]

Take off all your make up, gain a f#ck load of weight and never go to a salon or beautician again. Then see how much easier you have it.

 

Seriously

 

I won't gain a f#ck load of weight because it us unhealthy, but I do the rest and still get unwanted attention.

 

I asked a guy friend about why I still get hit on when I wear no makeup and do my best to cover up at work. His response? "We can tell whatcha got under there"

 

Funny guy.

 

... No matter what you are or are it born with, we are all challenged to make the best of it. Being an outlier in terms of looks is hardest on the young, hardest on those going through a crisis of some kind, or who are socially challenged.

[lil_missy]

And this is exactly the focus of the thread. To share that yes, while literally everything you said here is true, there are actually some hidden problems highly attractive peoole have that most people are not aware of.

 

You should have seen the tears....

 

2 of my exes could not even continue to work in offices due to them having these problems with the other women and being sought after bt every single man in the company.

 

Both intelligent people, college educated, etc... yet not a word they said taken seriously. "Aw... that's cute... now go sit over there and look pretty while the grown ups solve the problem."

 

Manager at Bear Sterns used to throw things on the floor and make my ex wife pick them up when she was fresh out of college.

 

Then there are the women. They were much worse. Day after day after day of relentless evil. We all know how evil, petty and backstabbing women are to each other in the office environment. Well, imagine every single day being the target of that.

 

I'm not kidding when I say my exes came home from work in tears on a regular basis. This was all due to their sexual attractiveness.

 

This is very sad and I'm sorry to hear.

But I don't think this can be argued as a typical case for beautiful girls.

Did your ex gfs work in a very shallow or bitchy industry?

 

Did they started to believe they were no good other than for their looks? Did they not stand up for themselves?

 

Unless this is a particular cutthroat industry or something, I feel this cannot be blamed solely on looks.

 

Like I said I have well adjusted, intelligent beautiful girl friends in high positions. And they have not experienced bullying as this. Or if they did certainly not to such extent.

There is always office politics and back stabbing at work, it is not limited to beautiful people, if you appear to be weak people will pick on you regardless of your looks

[Leigh 87]

If you suffer this much from the unwanted attention you receive, and I do sympathise...why not dress less provocatively?

 

You (or other readers) might respond "Why should she have to?"

 

For

these

reasons.

 

If you dress sexy, yeah, douchebags will comment, if that's fine, and you can shrug it off, great.

If you can't...well, the solution is at hand...

 

I don't dress provocatively.

 

I dress in quality jeans, a nice top and cardigan or nice jacket.

 

I happens to have large assets. Why should I today hide them? I also don't have them hanging out either....

 

Being able to see your shape isnt an open invitation to gawk like a child who has never see breasts before, nor is it apt to make unwanted sexual remarks.

 

How much of my breasts am I supposed to hide... Am I supposed to wear turtle necks or high necks the shirts all year around just because men often like large assets? They can easily go jerk off to porn they, they don't have to act inappropriate to strangers.

 

I definately don'suffer due to my desirable body shape. It definately beats being very overweight... But I can't say I enjoy so many lewd remarks, bullying and unwanted filthy advances, either.

Edited July 4, 2015 by Leigh 87

[Leigh 87]

Attractive people have it way easier in life for sure.

 

I was just outlining that hot bodies will always garner filthy and unwanted advances.

 

And it's not the women with large assets that should have to wear turtle necks and hide their shape that they were blessed with. It's the disguisting men that should learn some self control.

[Phoe]

Attractive people have it way easier in life for sure.

 

I was just outlining that hot bodies will always garner filthy and unwanted advances.

 

And it's not the women with large assets that should have to wear turtle necks and hide their shape that they were blessed with. It's the disguisting men that should learn some self control.

 

I imagine location, culture, social settings, etc, play a role.

 

I have large breasts but don't have to deal with advances or filth.

 

There are no universals.